Title: oh, jealousy
Series: Hetalia
Character/Pairing: Greece/Japan, France
Rating: PG-13?
Author's note: Hetalia kink meme: France hits on Greece. Japan is insanely jealous.

my headcanon is that France is a romantic, and that he will purposefully hit on/sleep with parts of a pair who has feelings for each other, but for some reason, aren't acting on them just to get them together (and for the sex, of course). His er intrusion finally makes them jealous enough to get past the fear/tsundereness/denial/whatever else is keeping them apart.

The title comes from a Gin Blossoms song.


France had slowly advanced, in a way so metered to be casual, that most ignored it. However, Japan noticed, for the trajectory of his path neared Greece. Japan put his hands in his lap. They were clenched so tightly they were shaking, and turning white.

As Japan had thought, it wasn't long before France stood over Greece. Japan had a horrifying image of France having his way with an unsuspecting, helpless Greece. It was in fact, straight out of a BL manga he had read the day before.

Greece woke up, and looked up at France groggily. Greece seemed entirely oblivious to that leering, suggestive aura France had. To be fair, France always had that aura, so it was more that Greece didn't seem to realize that this leering was aimed at him.

France bent low to whisper something in his ear – likely a proposition of some sort. France looked to the door, and then back at Greece.

Japan's stomach was in knots. His jaw was clenched. He glared at France, who was now leaning in over Greece, and invading his personal space with the most impure intentions.

"Waaah, Germany! Japan looks so scary!"

No matter how the meetings tried, nations always managed to keep their weapons. It seemed there wasn't a meeting where frying pans, spears, axes and guns weren't pulled out either in the midst of a tense situation, or on intermissions and lunch periods. Japan was no exception, though he had never, even on the tensest of moments, drawn his weapon.

And true, his katana was ceremonial, but that didn't make it any less sharp, or deadly. But as France touched Greece's shoulder, then his chest, Japan's resolve broke. He leapt on the table, passing by shocked nations who were less surprised at an ensuing outbreak of violence, but that it was Japan and not one of the Baltics.

"Step back from him if you value your life, France-san."

France turned to find a katana aimed at his throat. His composure only slipped for a moment, where he looked surprised, then frightened, before he regained the charm he was known for and smirked at Japan.

"What's this? You said that your alliance was strictly friendship – and many times you said that 'nothing happened' between you two. Could it be that you're jealous?"

Greece was looking up at him. His head was titled, curiously in a animalesque gesture. Just like a cat, or a dog. He still looked a bit groggy from having just woken.

"If anyone tries to lay a hand on them, I will declare war on them. And may I remind you, France-san, that your military record is not to your benefit."

France cringed at the mention of history. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. The katana at his throat did not waver.

Japan said this very quiet, but with such force behind it, that the whole room heard it. At that moment, not even Russia could manage to be as frightening as Japan was.

"The only person allowed to do those kinds of things to Greece-san is myself. Any other attempts will be met with immediate attacks. Am I clear on this, France-san?"

The blood drained from the Frenchman's face.

"Do you understand, France-san?" Japan said, his voice icy cold. He thrust the katana so close that the cool metal edge of the blade was directly at his throat.

"...Ah– I-I understand–" France said uncertainly.

Japan sheathed his katana. "Then for this moment, I will not crush you. But if you ever try again, I will not hesitate. Remember this, France-san."

Greece blinked several times. He pinched his arm a moment. "Am I still dreaming?"

"No, you're very much awake, Greece-san."

"You know, Japan.... I like your angry side."

Japan gave him the faintest of smiles.

"It would be nice if we could get through one meeting without a love triangle rearing up to compromise things," Germany sighed.

"Vee, but Germany, this one wasn't even Baltic this time! And France lost again."

"That's hardly notable," England muttered. "He's only ahead of Italy in the war record."

"France-niichan taught me all about war!" Italy said.

"That certainly explains a lot," England snickered.

"It doesn't count!" France protested. He was leaning against a wall, still trembling from Japan's threats.

"Alright all of you! Back to your seats this instant or I'll throw you out personally!"

"He'll enjoy too," Italy piped up.

"Meet me later?" Greece said.

"Of course, Greece-san. We have much to discuss."

He gripped Greece's hand and squeezed it, which was the most public display of affection Japan could take without feeling completely exposed. Maybe after many years, he might even be able to hold hands with Greece in public. Only time would tell.

Japan returned to his seat as if nothing had happened, and Greece promptly went back to sleep when Germany started outlining the bill on carbon emissions and outlying discussions on health care.


It hadn't gone entirely how he'd planned, but the desired result had happened, more of less. Japan's anger had been a surprise. France hadn't expected a katana to the throat. Some polite insults across the table, some jealousy, but not outright threats of declaration of war. Always the quiet ones indeed.

There was one disappointment, however. He had been trying to get Greece in his bed for quite some time with refusal after refusal. Considering that Greece had the most sex of everyone of the group, one would think he would be easy, but France had failed every attempt thus far. He knew Greece would be a fantastic night. Those delicious muscles, all that skill..finally someone to rival his finesse. Had it been some other bland country sampled simply for flavor, he could let it alone, but Greece was a bonafide sex god and France's existence wasn't complete until he had a piece of that.

He had attributed the rejections to Greece being in love with Japan, and maybe he was right. Japan certainly had a feisty streak under that calm. France couldn't help wondering what he'd be like in bed. Would he be quiet, and compliant, or would at some point all that control be lost and the same force he had seen be exerted there as well?

He also knew that Greece and Japan weren't about to break up anytime soon. The last hurdle had been crossed, and now nothing was between their feelings for each other. Whatever problems happened, they'd overcome them, so he couldn't count on some hot rebound action either.

Maybe they'd be open to the idea of a threesome as thanks for getting them together. They owed him that much, at the very least.