A few council members took a moment to make sure their hearing wasn't going out
"Did I really hear him say what I think he said?" Chouza whispered to Shibi.
"That Naruto is Minato and Kushina's son?" He replied, "Yes. Yes you did."
Hiashi simply raised an eyebrow as he looked the blonde in the eyes before closing his eyes, nodding...
*WHAM!* BAKA! *WHAM!* BAKA! *WHAM* WHY *WHAM!* THE HELL *WHAM!* DIDN'T *WHAM!* I SEE THAT *WHAM!* IN THE *WHAM!* FIRST PLACE! *WHAM!
And proceeding to vigously bang his head against the table.
"As entertaining as that is, could someone stop him before he gets a concussion?" Sarutobi spoke up.
"I'm good.." Hiashi muttered, cradling his already purpling forehead, "At least now I know I can uphold my promise to Kushina and piss off those bastards that like calling themselves Elders."
"A promise to my mom?" Naruto cocked his head in his usual 'questioning' expression,
"Um, you see Naruto...Kushina-chan was..how do I put this...notorius for being somewhat... frisky, Mainly towards Minato."
"'Frisky' ? Kushina was probably one of the biggest perverts in Konoha, next to Jiriaya! Only reason she hated the guy was because he's a peeping tom." Tsume barked in laughter, "Hell, Inochi here spent a week in a half in the hospital recovering from blood loss after we dared her to describe some of her naughtier fantisies."
"Thanks a lot, Tsume!" Inochi muttered, holding his nose, "I thought I had finally forgotten all that!"
"My mom...my mom was a perv?"
"You better believe it! Minato on the other hand...well, as much as I hate to say it, he was a bit of a prude. Poor guy just couldn't bring himself to look if a girl showed some skin without having a panic attack. That lasted until the Chunin Exams, when he faced off against Kushina in the finals."
Chouza snickered, "Yeah, those two went at it for a good fifteen minutes before he managed to pin her against the wall. Should've known getting restrained like that would be a turn on for her. Turned out she had it bad for the guy but wanted him to make the first move. Anyway, I think that was the first time an exam match turned into a heated make out session. Ever since then...well, it's safe to say you could see her dragging a slightly frantic Minato off somewhere at least every other day."
"Woohoo! Go Kushina!" Megera piped up.
Sarutobi cleared his throat to get their attention, "ANYWAY...when they learned they were going to have a son, Kushina...and I'm still wondering where she came up with this Idea...she decided you deserved your own Harem when you got older."
"What's a Harem..?" The blonde asked. Megera giggled and climbed up to whisper in his ear, explaning exactly what it was if his poleaxed expression and red tint was any indicator.
"Well, as I was saying, she talked me and Hitomi into setting up a marriage contract between her son and our oldest daughter if we had one his age..a son that, until now, I had simply assumed died the same day as them. I have to admit this is one time I'm glad to be completely wrong."
"Wait..that means me..and Hinata?"
"Considering how she feels about you, I doubt she'll be objecting too much."
That caused Naruto's mind to temporarily screech to a halt, "She likes me..? Why the hell didn't I ever notice! Granted, she's a lot nicer to be around than Sakura...cuter too."
"You too, huh?" A deep voice rumbled from the civilian side. It belonged to a man wearing a blacksmith's apron and gloves. He didn't look very tall, only around five feet, but he was built like a brick shit house.
"Uh, who are you?"
"Name's Musashi Higarashi, kid. I run the Burnished Kunai supply shop across town."
"Higarashi? Why's that name sound so familiar...?" Naruto mulled over the thought until it dawned on him, "Wait, are you that girl Tenten's dad? I remember her from the academy. She graduated a year before me."
"That's her." Musashi nodded, "For a while I thought Uzumaki was just the name the Hokage gave you. Kushina-sama made the same agreement with me. I'd told Tenten about the contract when she was old enough, but didn't really think much about it cause I heard her son was dead as well."
"I guess that explains the weird looks she gave me a couple times in between classes. Stared at me like she was tying to remember something but gave up after a little while. Aside from that we didn't really cross paths too much"
"Well, I'll let her know. Hopefully she won't take it the wrong way."
"And there's also Yakumo Kurama, though that may be trickier." Sarutobi added.
"Hey! Don't forget me!" Megera pouted as she pulled Naruto's arm against her chest, making his red tint even deeper as he felt her breasts squishing against him.
"Who are you anyway, girl?" Homura demanded, frowning at her attire the while time.
"Name's Megera. And well...you can call me Naru's little vixen." She added coyly, earning a sputtered outrage from Homura and the pinkette.
"How DARE you utter such a disgusting term in our presence!" She shouted in a shrill tone, making Tsume and Megera wince from the volume, "Sarutobi! It's obvious this thing has somehow influenced the situation! There is no way it can be their offspring!"
Naruto blanched slightly, "Aw man..tell me that's not what I think it is!" He said, pointing at the pink hair.
"Yakkaina Haruno." Sarutobi muttered, his eye twitching, "I doubt I need to say anything else."
"Aside from the fact she's a pain in the ass." Mushasi added, giving the woman a look that dared her to try anything when she glared at him.
"He's ok in my..." Meg grinned, only to get cut off by Danzo.
"Yakkaina-san is right, Sarutobi. We refuse to accept that that de-boy is the Fourth's child! We should also separate those two; it's clear she's not acting like this willingly!"
"Hell no! That B-Movie reject did NOT just say that!" She growled, ready to hurt the guy.
"Megera-san is correct. You speak for no one but yourself, Danzo." Shibi replied in a slightly cold tone, even by Aburame standards.
"Yeah, considering Minato and I were the only two blonde guys in Konoha, and I know for a fact that Ino is my only child, I'm starting to wonder how the heck I didn't see it either." Inochi added.
"Bah! You dumb shinobi wouldn't recognize proper breeding if it hit you in the face!" Yakkaina snapped, "Now you listen and you listed good: we are NOT letting that...that freak take his name!"
"Care to repeat that, bitch!" Tsume snarled, "Who the hell are you to decide CLAN matters!"
"That monster is from no clan, you uncouth savage!"
The third was about to flare his KI to shut everyone up when he heard Meg call out, "Hit the deck!" before he was pulled to the floor beside her and Anko. Looking up, he saw Naruto's arms stretched out to the sides before he brought them together with surprising force.
At the entrance to the tower, the two chunin on guard found themselves wondering why the building just rumbled for a moment.
As well as the screaming pink object that came flying out of the eleventh floor window.
"Did that look familiar?" One of them asked.
The other shrugged, "It bounced off that roof pretty good, whatever it was."
"Uh, was that supposed to happen?" Naruto asked to no one in particular. It was meant to just be a loud handclap to get their attention.
However, that wasn't quite the case; the unexpected shockwave pretty much flipped the room a few times. The clan heads had managed to keep from getting thrown, but they were still sprawled out on the floor. The civilian half, on the other hand, weren't quite so lucky. A few were currently embedded in the drywall.
Being a retired shinobi, Mushashi was able to pick himself up, "Well, that was an experiance." He muttered, still a little wobbly from the ordeal.
Homura was currently joining Koharu in a heap in the corner, and the remains of the window was a fair assumption of what happened to Yakkaina.
"DAMN, gaki!" Anko blurted out when she got her ears to stop ringing, "What the hell did you do? That was AWESOME!"
"Yes, I'm rather..curious myself." Sarutobi added.
Naruto shrugged, "Beats me. I just wanted them to knock it off. All the hollering was getting irritating."
"That was the Thunderclap. One of the original Hulk's favorite moves. I don't think I need to explain what it does." Megera said, dusting herself off.
"Just when I thought Naruto Uzumaki couldn't get any more troublesome.." Shikaku muttered as helped Chouza up.
"What?" Tsume half-yelled, her head still vibrating slightly, "Somebody say something!"
"Perhaps we should continue this after they all recover. i'll have some medics come in shortly" Sarutobi winced at the sight of a silently weeping Danzo, half buried under the tables remains, and one of the legs wedged in a tender location, "And possibly a couple of proctologists..."
"Yeah, good idea." Anko had to bite her lip to keep from peeing herself laughing at the war hawk's situation and motioned for the other two to head out, "Oh, uh, Hokage-Sama? Before I go.."
"Kushina-sama didn't specify a limit on that harem, did she?" There was just enough innocence in the question to make the man wonder just what Kushina had gotten her son into.
"Nani?" Naruto looked up, still in hearing range of them.
"Give three references and we'll talk!" Megera threw in.
Yeah, this chapter's more along the line of filler. I would've gotten this out earlier but had to clean things up some after all those storms last wensday. (Power didn't come back on till sunday night.)