A/N: Warning, random cussing in this, mainly because Rico and Émile have their 'fake' arguments over nothing. They're hilarious!

Just so you know, this is most likely a filler, since I have no idea what to do with this story, tbh...


Chapter 3

"Time to change the bandage," a doctor walked up, waking me up. I rubbed my eyes and blinked. Cecilia groaned and yawned.

"All right," she said forcefully. She sat up and the doctor carefully removed the bandage from her nose. The slightest movement would have caused the doctor to clean up a bloody mess. He carefully put a new bandage around her nose.

"There," the doctor smiled and patted her on the back. He walked off and we were alone again.

"I overheard the doctor saying that you might be able to get out later, depending on how you feel," I patted her on the back as well. "Though, you may need some surgeries to fix your nose."

She smiled, a somewhat chipped and gapped one, and nodded. "Good… because I do feel all right, especially with you." I blushed slightly and chuckled. I patted her on the head. "It's too bad I cracked my teeth, though," she sighed. I looked down at the sheets and didn't say anything. I don't think there was anything I could say at the moment.

"I'll help pay," I broke the silence. She looked at me, flabbergasted. "Seriously, it's expensive to fix teeth. I had to have a crown," I opened my mouth widely and pointed at my last molar. "It was over four hundred dollars." She nodded and mouthed a 'wow'. I noticed how dimly lighted this place was.

"Why did you have to get a crown?" she asked.

"I was chewing on a piece of hard candy and I cracked it. It really hurt; I drove myself to the dentist immediately without making an appointment. They forgave me," I chuckled slightly. "Now I know not to chew on hard candy!"

"Mm… hard candy, which one is your favourite?"

"Are we playing twenty questions here? My favourite is butterscotch! What's your favourite?"

"Probably cinnamon," she grinned, "but I love toffee too. What about peanut brittle?"

"Peanut brittle's good!" I nodded while my stomach rumbled. "Umm… want something to eat?"

"Anything's fine, as long as the drink is coffee."

"How do you like it?"

"French vanilla is fine, nothing added to it."

"All right," I nodded and walked off.


"Here you go," I smiled, handing her a coffee and some bagels with poppy seeds and crème cheese. "Sorry, I wasn't sure if you like bagels or not."

"Thank you, that's fine!" she grinned. I too, loved coffee, but I preferred mocha myself and bagels are all right, I prefer cereal or toast but they didn't have anything like that there.

"You're welcome," I nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Other than not being able to breathe properly, I'm all right."

"The doctors said your sinuses maybe blocked with mucus, but he said it should clear soon with time." She nodded and slapped a bunch of crème cheese on her bagel, nearly chewing off more than she could swallow. "Jeez… she has a big appetite for someone so small… I wish I had her appetite," I thought. I blinked without her noticing.

"I saw that," she rolled her eyes.

"What?" I blinked.

"That – that blinking – don't think you think I didn't notice it, 'cause I do." I shrugged.

"All right, fine… you eat more than I thought you would. I'm sorry if that offends you," I shrugged. She rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Pfft… whatever," she tsked and huffed. She finished the rest of the bagel off before I could even take another bite. My pager beeped. It was a fairly new thing, so I wasn't quite used to it yet (however, it wasn't a new technology). I slightly jumped. She saw the look on my face and she slightly giggled. I sighed and read it. It said Rico on it.

"Rico wants something, I don't know what. I'll be right back, I promise you."

"All right," she smiled.


"Yes?" I walked up to Rico. "Is there something you want?"

"I just wanted to say – BURN! – You've been pussy whipped! Ohh! Take that, Émile!" I bopped him straight in the forehead.

"I came straight from the hospital, all the way here, and wasted gas, just to hear this? What the hell, Rico!" He was rubbing his forehead. "Oh yeah, I REALLY DON'T MIND GETTING PUSSY WHIPPED! It's fun!" I snarled and rolled my eyes. "In yo face, Ricardo!"

"I-I told you not to call me that!"

"I'll call you Lasagna!"

"Hey! What the hell! How about this? Emilie!"

I burst into laughing. "That's a good one, Spaghetti."

"Connard," he mumbled.

"I'm going to kick your ass! You should run – 'cause I'm –"

"Bastardo!"

"Giuseppe!"

"Dakota!"

"Penis-whipped!"

"What the hell, Rico? That's not even a word!"

"Yes it is! It's just penis and whipped!"

"…Whatever, Mussolini."

"Whatever, Connerie."

"You just called me bullshit!"

"No shit!"

"We're blowing smoke up our asses," I sighed.

"I'd love to," he looked at me lustfully. "My gaydar is on full alert."

"I've already been pussy-whipped. Don't need to be pussy-whipped by a wimp like you. Sorry to piss on your bonfire."

"BURN!" Tory called from across the room.

"Who said you could talk you dickfuck?" Rico said sarcastically. He looked over at me. "Fakota, I mean Émile, do you realise you're hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire?"

"What?" I blinked.

"It's used in Texas."

"Never been there, but I don't think I plan to. But you better watch out. I'm fluent in French. I may kick your ass. Your ass… on my wall…"

"No one's kicking anyone's ass," Jake walked by, unfazed by our random, silly argument.

"…Spaghetti, look I found your meat ball!"

"Dude… that was uncalled for," Rico blushed hard.

"Mr. Woody. Rico… don't deny it. Do you still have feelings for me?"

He nodded slightly. "Yes…"

I hugged him slightly. "I'm sure you'll find someone else. I'm not trying to insult you, by the way."

"Whatever, egghead."

"Egghead? Is that the best you can come up with, you pig?"

"Want a BJ?"

"No, I don't want a blowjob! What in your right mind thinks I want one? I'm straight now; your gaydar is waaaay off."

"Asshole…," he mumbled.

"What did you call me, whale penis?"

"Whale penis?" Rico sputtered and went into a full laugh. "Dude… my penis ain't that big. But thanks for the compliment, horseshit."

"I appreciate that compliment, chicken shit bullshit eater."

"Shit breath!"

"Hey, mine smells like coffee!" I replied joyously. "And I know that for a fact because I had some coffee before you called me! Maybe yours smells like shit."

"I just had a sandwich not too long ago – so hah! I don't eat shit! Oh wait… maybe I do…"

"Dude… I think I'm staying out of that conversation," I mentally shuddered. "Hey, did you know if you eat crayons you can crap rainbows?"

"Nuh-uh!"

"HAAAA! I gotta ya," I grinned.

"Yeah, so? You draw a little face on your penis!"

"No, you do that!"

"I don't think so!"

I pinched him on the nipples; he fell to the ground. "I win!" I grinned. "I'm going back to Cecilia, I'll see you later." Rico grunted and ran up to me, tackling me to the ground. Winded, I grunted as well and growled. "How can I make it up to you?" I asked, out of breath.

"Come to my office." I facepalmed. I knew exactly what he wanted. I knew exactly what he wanted to do.

"You want to ass rape me, don't you?" as I called it. Rico blushed hard. "Rico, I told you – I'm straight. I don't want any more butt sex." I was somehow able to wiggle out of his grip. "Ricardo Giuseppe Abandonato! Oooh, I noticed the word 'abandon' in your name! That's what you're gonna be in the next five seconds."

"Émile Dakota Caldecutt! I noticed the word… oh never mind, you don't have anything in your name…"

"I have to go now, all right? I'll be back though."

"All right, bye, take care," Rico smiled and got up. We both hugged each other tightly. "I love you, you lucky bastard, you…"

"I love you too, Italian bastard…" I chuckled and he let go. I walked off…


A/N: Ahh... these two... make me laugh so hard... XP