Need You Now
I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
She watched outside the window with keen eyes, she wanted to be sad, she wanted to cry, but her body wouldn't let her. A small whine shook her from her thoughts. She looked down and saw the puppy around her feet. "Hello Hayate," She said sadly, she sighed and then turned back towards the window, "You're lucky boy, you don't know sadness." As she choked on her words, she shut her eyes and let a tear roll down her cheek.
Riza turned away from the window and wiped her face clean of the stray tears. She walked away and the puppy stopped his whining and then followed his master at her heels. However he stopped and sat as she stopped in front of a picture. She picked it up and cradled it carefully for a second and then put it facedown on the table. "I don't think I could look at that any longer Hayate," As she spoke she leaned down and picked the small puppy up. Riza cradled the dog in her arms, the small dog licked her face and she gave him a small smile.
"I love you too, boy." She bounced him into a more comfortable position and then started to walk towards her couch. Riza stopped mid-step, her phone had begun to ring. Hayate squirmed out of her arms as she reached for the phone. Hayate landed on all fours and then padded away as Riza started to pay attention to the person on the phone. "Hawkeye."
"Riza…" It took Riza's mind a second to register the voice.
Gracia Hughes. Riza sharply took in a breath, "Gracia, are you alright?" A painful noise and then she heard Elicia cry. Riza reached for the turned down picture and locked eyes with the happy-go-lucky Maes Hughes. In the picture he had his arms slung around Roy, and then Roy had pulled her into the picture, she was looking off into the distance. She stopped looking at the picture and slammed it back down when the line quieted down.
"No." A pause, "Can you come over?" Riza eyed the clock on the wall over her fireplace. The time really wasn't important, she knew she was going. Then she eyed the dog lying on the floor licking himself. She sighed at Hayate; it was the only habit she couldn't break.
"Is it alright if I bring Hayate?" She didn't want to leave the dog alone, she told herself. Then she stopped lying, she didn't want to walk the streets of Central alone, even with a gun she wanted someone there.
"Of course. Elicia with be delighted to see the little pup." Riza sighed and smiled. She ran her hand over the rim of the turned down photograph. Her fingers traced the lines, "I'll see you in a little while Riza." The line died suddenly and Riza pulled it away from her ear and cradled the phone back on its hook. She sat the photograph back up and then smiled at it slightly. She brought her fingers to Maes and Roy; those where happier times. However, she pulled away and whistled loudly, causing Hayate to scurry to his feet and pad over to his lead.
She walked slowly over to Hayate, who had his nose to the leash and was ready for their adventure. Riza leaned down and hooked him to his leash and then walked away, to grab her smaller handgun and her handbag. She slipped the small caliber gun into the bag and reached for her jacket, she slipped that on quickly and then fixed her hair before picking up the leash and heading towards Gracia's.
She stepped out into the darkness of the hallway and wondered to herself if it was enough to feel sad, if she should be callused to the death of her comrade. She shook her head and walked down the stairs with Hayate in toe, she would rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
Quietly Riza unlatched the fence in the front of the Hughes home; she led Hayate in and then quickly re-latched the fence. It was starting to get dark and if anything was unlocked in Central it was an open invitation to thieves. She looked around and then led Hayate up to the porch. Riza knocked lightly and watched the door swing open with much force.
"Papa~!" The small girl cried as she latched herself to the woman's legs, "I missed you so much!" However Riza felt the girl pull away when she realized that there was no tickly beard to greet her, or a big kiss on her cheek. She looked up and locked eyes with Riza.
"Auntie…Riza…" She let out a small cry, "Papa…papa isn't home." Tears pooled down her cheeks and she buried her face in the long calico skirt that Riza was wearing. Riza leaned down and picked the small girl up and whispered to her comforting words. She stood their for awhile just holding and soothing the small child, it seemed endless, but eventually Gracia came to the door and choked as she saw her friend holding the last thing that she had of her husband.
"Riza." Gracia called out to her from the doorway, Riza looked up and put a free finger to her lips. Gracia nodded and watched as the stern woman break down her walls and carry her daughter into her home. She smiled sadly; the woman did have a soft spot for those who she trusted. She watched as Riza place her on the couch and then came walking back to her, dropping Hayate's leash.
Riza smiled at the older woman and stretched out her arms enveloping her in a hug. "It's okay…It's okay to need someone." Gracia felt her body wrack as she was brought into the stronger embrace of the military woman.
"He's gone Riza; it's what all military wives fear, the last thing they see of their lover is their back. It's exactly what I saw." She sobbed loudly into the woman's shoulder. She couldn't keep up the strong demeanor any longer. She pulled out of the embrace and took a few steps back.
Carefully she wiped her eyes and then spoke again, catching Riza's attention. "I…he left you something." Gracia moved her hands away from her face and put them down in front of her, laying them flat on her dress, giving her the impression of elegance at a time of crisis, something Riza strove to have; elegance. However Gracia's hands did not stay stationary, she began to wring her hands and then she started to pull at the oversized wedding band on her left ring finger.
"Gracia, where are your wedding rings?" Riza asked observing the large and loose band. Gracia never removed her wedding rings; Riza knew that for a fact. What had made the woman take off the rings that her dearly departed husband had given her? Gracia started to walk towards the kitchen and Riza followed awaiting an answer from the widow.
Gracia pursed her lips and walked swiftly into the kitchen, boxes cluttered the room, but it had the sweet smell of roses that people had given her to condole her. Gracia spoke quickly and quietly, Riza had to use her sniper hearing to catch what she was saying, "I buried them with him…this is the ring, he wore." Riza simply nodded and pushed no farther, she just took a good sweep of the room with her eyes, noting all the boxes, Gracia must have wanted to pack some of his things up, or wanted to unpack his will.
"I'm in the process of settling his affairs." Gracia said resting a hand on one of the boxes, "He left quiet a lot to Elicia and me, but most of these boxes…are going to Mister Mustang, Roy." She corrected herself at the tail end. She brought a hand to her mouth and thought. Riza looked around and saw that most of the boxes where indeed for Roy, they must have been pictures and letters. She smiled and picked up one of the photographs lying out, it was of Roy and Maes at Maes' wedding.
"I'm glad Roy is getting that photo. I think he's going to need those to remember that Maes would want him to carry on." Gracia said, heaving a box onto the table and then rummaging through it. She pulled a stack of letters up and then flipped through them. Gracia pulled one out of the middle and smiled. Riza noted that it wasn't sealed, so Gracia must have read it. The older woman offered the letter out to Riza, "This…was the most important thing he wanted you to have, and this is why I called you over."
Riza picked the letter out of Gracia's hands and looked it over, throwing the woman a quizzical look. Gracia blushed and spoke sheepishly, "I was scared, there was a sealed letter to another woman in his will." She turned and looked out the kitchen window, "But…when I read it…it indeed stopped my radical thinking, but made me wonder if Maes knew he was in danger."
Riza blinked and thought for a second, if her husband had left a woman a letter she would jump to conclusions as well, but she did not know what to say to the part of Maes knowing that he was in danger. As she unfolded the letter and looked onto Maes' curvy handwriting she spied the cryptic message that Gracia was talking about and at that very moment Riza was wondering if Maes knew that he was going to die, and if he could very well see the future. She let her eyes trace over the sentence one more time.
He's all alone and he needs you now.
"Gracia. I need to go." The words on the paper where like a thousand knives stabbing into her back. Riza felt her stomach turn and she wondered if she was going to be sick. She had left Roy Mustang all to himself, what kind of bodyguard was she? What if something had happened?
The woman smiled and nodded to the now fear stricken gunman. She outstretched her hand to Riza, another letter, "He said this would be happening. He wants you to give him this." She almost wanted to tell Gracia that Maes wasn't doing this from beyond the grave, but she would be wrong. So, Riza took the unread letter and ran her hands over it. "He said it's important for him to read that." Riza slipped the letter into her bag and nodded, understanding that it was something that Maes needed to say to the man.
"I'll come and see you both tomorrow." Riza promised the woman, knowing that it was hard adjusting to living without someone. She had lost her father, when she was a girl and could assume the kind of pain that Gracia was in. The woman nodded and turned back to one of the boxes that had many things of Maes' stuffed in them.
Gracia ran her hands over the papers and spoke softly, "Alright." The woman paused and looked out the window, "You should go, Riza." It wasn't meant to be rude, but it could have been taken as such, if taken out of context. Riza slowly stepped out of the kitchen and leaned down to pick up Hayate's leash, the dog stood and stretched slowly, but then caught up to his master before she left the house completely.
Coal eyes stared into the empty shot glass, it was the third, maybe fourth glass of whiskey and he could feel his head beginning to spin. He was more than a little drunk; he had spread his alchemical research spread out on his desk, with the bottle in the corner and empty glasses. He had never considered bringing anyone back to life. Not until now. He placed his head on his desk and began to think over how to attempt a human transmutation. Now he understood why those boys tried to bring back their mother.
He reached out a hand to his phone, to try and call someone to help him out of this rut, but his hand stopped and he pulled it back and laid it down on the desk next to his face. The one person he could call was literally six feet under. So he sat up slowly and gave his scruffy chin a good rub. He hadn't seen the light of day for two days and he was afraid to look himself in the mirror. He was afraid he would see the monster he saw in Ishval again.
Roy reached for the bottle and poured another shot into the glass. The amber liquid overflowed the sides of his glass and he swore loudly, "Shit…" He pulled up the papers and then his books to protect them from the whiskey. Slowly he got up and rolled his chair back; he tripped over his shoes and then stumbled to get his footing back. He hobbled around his large apartment and then worked his way into the kitchen. He tacked the papers to his icebox so they didn't tear as they dried. Instead of walking away from the icebox after that he opened it and rummaged through it for a beer. He reached into his deep pants pocket and brought up a lighter to flick the cap of the beer off into the other waste of his apartment.
He hadn't kept his apartment clean since the move, normally he was neat, but now since his schedule was so packed, he had reverted to his academy days, living out of boxes. He was enjoying living in his filth. Roy laughed and ducked his head back and took a long swig of his beer. When he pulled the bottle from his lips, his eyes landed on a picture of Maes and him from the days at the academy. He frowned and spoke softly, "You've helped me through so much." He paused and hiccupped, "The very least I can do is find out what happened to you." He sighed and put the beer on the counter and walked towards his sofa. He plopped down uncharacteristically and picked up his journal. He flipped through the pages and sighed.
He was too hurt to even focus on his goal. Roy pushed the book to the side and intertwined his fingers and rested his hands on them, becoming extremely focused on nothing in general. However, he was ripped from that haze when there was a rattling at the front door, and it swung open, exposing light for the first time in a few days. He winced and looked away, not caring who the intruder was, but was more focused on the throbbing in his head. The door shut and he heard the lock engage. However he didn't look at the person, they had turned the lights on and let out an exasperated sigh at the sight of his apartment. Gracia, he thought.
However, when something furry licked his hand, he opened his eyes and saw Black Hayate in his living room standing in god knows what. He scratched the dog behind the ears and then looked up, making eye contact with the dog's master, who was standing no more than ten feet away. He opened his mouth to speak, but she spoke first, "You're drunk."
"'M not drunk, Hawkeye." His voice cracked and sounded dry.
She sniffed the air and then wrinkled her nose, "Smells of old whiskey and gin in here." She stepped into the living room and let her purse slide to the floor. She came up close to him and looked him dead in the eyes, "Breathing raged, pupils dilated, eyes bloodshot, and you smell, Colonel."
"Thanks." He stated simply as Hayate jumped onto the couch and curled up beside the man, wanting to be scratched some more. "Yes, I have been drinking, but I am not drunk." She raised a brow and looked around the apartment.
She picked up some of the discarded papers off the floor, "When was the last time you had a good night's sleep then?" She looked onto his coffee table and saw the book the papers had come from and stacked them neatly, starting to clean the living room slowly.
Riza stopped and looked at him. "I know how much he meant to you." She looked down at her feet, "Sir, he wouldn't want to see you drinking every night." She looked around his apartment again; she saw at least three empty scotch bottles and then by her foot was a bottle of Madame Christmas' finest, which she knew was some of the strongest liquor.
He looked at the dog, not wanting to make eye contact with her, "I know." He watched from the corner of his eye as she took a step forward and outstretched a hand towards him, and then she pulled the hand back quickly.
"Permission to act and speak freely?" She spoke quickly reaching back for her discarded purse.
He nodded, "Permission granted, Hawkeye." She dug through her bag and then pulled out a small parcel. Then she reached out and brought a hand to his chin forcing him to look at her, the action she almost carried out, but stalled. He moved his eyes to look at spot on the wall. He heard her growl.
"Look at me, Roy." Her voice got low when he didn't move to look at her, "Look at me!" He registered the ferocity in her voice and then turned to look at her, he could see how close she was to tears, but the stern, caring front was still there. He was causing her pain.
"Please," She begged. "Please, listen to me. It's alright to be torn up about Maes' death, I know you loved him, you loved him like a brother." She relaxed the grip on his chin and then moved her hand to his cheek. He covered her smaller callused hand with his own larger one as she began to speak again, "No matter what you think right now, you are not alone. I promise." She brought her forehead to his and sighed.
He breathed out and sighed, letting a few tears fall, then his own needy voice surprised himself, "Riza…Please…don't leave." He felt her move her hand off his cheek and then wrap her arms around his form.
"I won't." She said softly rubbing his back. "You need someone now."
Roy wrapped his own arms loosely around her and pulled her into his lap, so he was able to burry his head in the crook of her neck, then he could let the tears fall freely. "I need you now." The words tugged at her heartstrings and she laid her head on his shoulder, just whispering calming words. Soon he was breathing normally and she lifted her head slowly to look at him. Gold met black and she smiled slightly.
"Thank you," was his strained reply, she smiled. He was looking a little better. She pushed herself up and then unlocked herself from him. "Are you leaving?" She shook her head 'no' and he let out a sigh of relief. "I don't want to fall back into the bottle."
"We both want the same thing then." She leaned down and smoothed down one side of his hair in a motherly fashion. Quickly as she realized what she was doing she retracted her hand and stared at him. "I should make you something to eat; it looks like all you've been eating is bar nuts." He laughed and pushed himself up, however he stumbled and she grabbed him with her free hand.
"Thanks." She offered him a shoulder silently and he took it, slowly they made their way to his kitchen table. He took a seat and she made her way over to the icebox and his cabinets. "What's that in your hand?" She looked at the letter and put it on the table, sliding it slowly to him.
"Maes," Was her simple response. He took the letter and broke the seal, which was Maes' own personal seal, and unfolded it quickly, letting the photograph inside flutter to the ground. He let his onyx eyes trace the script.
You've lost more than control; you're more than a little drunk. You need her now. Don't even let a second thought cross your mind. You can't do without, I know you well enough. You need her now.
Roy started breathing again and folded the letter back up. He placed it on thee table and leaned down to pick up the photograph off the floor. He smiled, it was Riza and him. He placed it on top of the letter and folded his hands. "What did Maes write?" She asked rummaging through his cabinets.
She turned back to look at Roy and saw him run a hand down his face, "Maes is a damn mind reader." He paused, "Or he can see the future." Roy heard the faucet turn on and a glass filling. Riza put the glass in front of him and he took it and drank it quickly.
She smiled and pulled a pot to the stove, "Most likely the latter." She brought another glass to the tap and began filling the pot with water. "He surprised me with what he wrote to me." She laughed and set the pot aside and pulled another to another burner and set that one to warm as she moved to the icebox to gather ingredients. She picked out the butter and whipping cream and then shut the icebox. She set them aside and then she rustled through the cabinet again and pulled out a box of pasta and some basil and thyme. She put down the basil and thyme and pushed them next to the butter. However she flipped open the box of pasta and poured it in the boiling water. Then Riza took a step back and readily took a seat at the table.
"I'm glad you're here." Roy said as he reached to take her smaller hand into his much larger hand. She smiled.
Riza looked around, "I think I'll clean up a bit if you don't mind, after you have some real food in your stomach." He shook his head, "And you…need to shower, or bathe. It smells like you have been rolling in something." She wrinkled her nose again and sighed formulating a game plan in her mind.
Roy was taken aback and spoke slowly, "Riza, do you plan on staying here for the night?" She shook her head.
"I'm not walking home. It is very late." She noted that he was being informal with her and she would still have the ability to speak and act freely as long as he did, which she calculated that he would speak with her informally for the rest of the time he was awake, being that she was here as a friend.
He smiled and shut his eyes, releasing her hands he brought his hand to his face and rubbed it, "Thank god." He spoke, "Thank god, I don't think I want you walking out there alone at night, even with Hayate." The dog barked from where he was perched and they both laughed lightly at the dog. Riza got up and stirred the pasta in one pot and started on the sauce. Roy smelled the wonderful aroma and sighed, he missed home cooking.
"What are you making, Riza?" He leaned up to get a better look.
She turned around, spoon in hand, "Pasta Alfredo." She turned back to the pot and stirred it rapidly. He laughed and took another sip of his water. He couldn't remember the last time a woman had cooked him a decent meal.
"It sounds so good right now." He let his head rest on one of his hands. "I've been living off of bar food for the last few days, so anything sounds good at the moment." He smiled as she turned around. Riza threw him a small smile and gave the pot one more stir before reaching for the boiling pasta in it. She moved that over to the sink swiftly and began to drain it. Roy, if he had to state so, he would have stated that he was mesmerized by the small acts that his headstrong, gun wielding subordinate was doing for him.
Sadly he had to say that kindness wasn't often spared on him, and it felt good to have someone that cared for him. He felt as if he wasn't truly alone. A clatter on the table pulled him from the thought and he looked up at the blond woman, and then down at the plate she had placed in front of him. "It looks delicious." She placed a fork down and smiled slightly. He took up the utensil and forked a large amount onto it. He pulled the amount up to mouth and took a large bite. He pulled the fork away and spoke quickly, "Thank you; you don't know how good this tastes."
Riza laughed and pointed at his mouth, "Your top lip." She laughed again and brought a hand forward to wipe his lip. She pulled her hand away quickly, she was mothering him and doing things that she normally wouldn't do. Quickly Riza turned back to the counter and tried to gather his thoughts.
Little did she know that Roy was doing the same thing. He had paused after Riza had brought a hand to his face and Roy had grown hot. However, Roy smiled and returned to his food, trying to wipe the embarrassed feeling from his mind and face as he watched her retreat to the sink and began to clean his kitchen. Riza started to scrub down the sink and the pots and pans. Quickly she scrubbed down the counters and put all the utensils that she used away. She turned around quickly enough to see that he had polished off the plate. Riza smiled and leaned back to pick it up.
"Delicious." He said with a smile. Roy picked up his water glass and brought it to his lips for a light sip, when he put it down he spoke again slowly. "I will cook for you sometime, after…" he paused and spoke slowly, "all of this." She looked at her hands sadly and he became quiet and pushed himself away. She watched him get up slowly and woozily.
"You alright?" She asked putting down the dishrag and putting her full attention on him. She watched him stumble and took a step forward, almost to rush to him; he however had used the wall to steady himself.
He looked back and then sighed with heavy eyes, "I'm fine. I'll take a shower." Riza watched as he hobbled away and then shut his bedroom door behind him. She leaned back on the counter and took a deep breath, choking a sob. She was acting like a common housewife; she was acting more and more like Roy Mustang's wife than friend.
Riza pulled her hands down her face and wiped her face. "Oh my god." She whispered lightly figuring out why she was so flustered and why she was acting like a housewife. However, she pushed the thought from her mind and returned to cleaning around the apartment, telling herself that she was here because Maes told her to be here. She started picking up the dirty clothes and placing them in the hamper by the washroom. She stopped as she heard the water in the bathroom begin to run.
She wasn't here because of Maes. Maybe Maes had spurred her to into coming here now, but she would have busted the door down soon enough. She shrugged off the thought and looked at Hayate. The dog panted happily, he was happy to be here, "I'm glad I am here too." She stepped forward and patted the dog's head before turning back to her cleaning. She had finished most of the room and it was looking rather nice. Hayate cocked his head up at his master and she spoke softly, "We are staying here for the night boy." The dog whined lightly and then laid his head back in the blanket thrown messily on the couch.
Riza turned away from the dog when she heard the water shut off and the man in the other room padding around. She sighed and continued to clean as much as she could, but she didn't get much done, the door opened and the man took a few steps out and spoke softly to her, "I should…try and get some rest." She nodded and put the basket down on the ground and walked over to him. He retreated into his room and she followed, with Hayate following behind her. However as Roy got into bed, Hayate rushed past his master and jumped up onto the bed and settled down next to the Alchemist.
"Hayate!" Riza called down to him. "Come down from there." Roy scratched the dogs head and the puppy rolled onto his back and leaned up next to the man. The dog let out a happy sigh and settled into a light sleep. "Roy…" Riza warned the man, scratching her sleeping dog.
Roy looked up at her sheepishly, "I'd much rather have him here, just as a soothing presence of sort, I suppose." The man settled into his bed and Riza stepped to a chair sitting down quietly. "Staying?"
"Just for now." She said watching him stir and then him settling into a light sleep. Instead of getting up and leaving, she figured that it would be best to stay and watch over him as a bodyguard as he slept. Riza smiled and ran her hand over the oak of the chair and began to think. She had enjoyed being here, she had enjoyed being with him. She was beginning to wonder if she had entrusted more than her back to him. Entrusting more than her back and protecting him was what she signed up for, anything else was not something she needed. Of course she cared for him dearly, but what she was feeling at the moment, a light flutter in her chest and her stomach turning in knots. Was it concern or was it something else?
As Roy shifted in his sleep and Hayate rolled over in the bed, Riza rose and walked over to the bed and looked down at the man. He looked so worn, but peaceful. Hopefully after a while that worn look would go away, however that was just her hoping. She outstretched a hand and brushed some stray tendrils from his eyes. Roy moaned and brushed at her hand. Then she paused and brought her lips down to his forehead and pressed a light kiss to his head.
She didn't know why she had done it, but she pulled herself away as quickly as she could. If she had these feeling, which she swore that she couldn't have feelings like that, she had to keep them secret. She rushed away from the bed and then out of the room, leaving the door ajar slightly, so Hayate could get out and in. Riza wrapped her arms around herself and took a seat on the soft plush couch.
She had kissed him, on the forehead, but that didn't matter, she had still acted on feelings that she shouldn't have. However she settled into couch and slowly drifted off into the dreamless sleep that she and Roy both needed.
She felt something wet push into her hand and then a small nip at her palm. Groggily she opened her eyes and then looked at her dog. He was whining lightly and looked rather frightened. She sat up slowly and pulled the long black blanket over her shoulders and then sat up quickly. The dog circled around himself and then jolted for Roy's door.
Concerned, the woman got up and hurried towards the door and pushed it open. She dropped the blanket when Riza saw him thrashing and moaning. Riza had jumped onto the bed, rushing to get to the man to stop his thrashing. "Roy," she cooed, "Roy it is alright…" His thrashing slowed as she brought her hand to his head. Riza ran her fingers through his hair and his thrashing almost stopped. His eyes opened and he locked eyes with her.
Her eyes softened, "Sir, are you alright?" He looked up at her confused and reached a hand out to link fingers with her, she accepted slowly and then spoke again. "Is this…appropriate sir?"
"Riza…" He spoke roughly, dropping the formality. Riza ran her thumb over the top of his hand and listened as he started to speak, "It was horrible." His eyes were dark as he spoke those words, cold too; it was breaking her heart as she looked at the man. She had to control her actions, she couldn't do anything rash.
She choked back emotion and kept her voice small, but firm, "Do you want to talk about it, Roy?" She had dropped the formality again because he had dropped hers. She found it odd going in and out of formality. Riza ran her hand over his forehead and massaged his scalp lightly, "You don't have to talk about it." She felt him run her thumb over the top of her hand, and she shuttered.
"Thank you not for pushing me." He sounded sincere and then spoke again quietly, "I want to talk about it." Her heart stopped. She looked down and gave him a small nod.
"It was the night Maes died." He choked out softly, "When we were at the East Station, still." She saw his body tense and Riza moved down to lay by him, he tensed again and then settled; their fingers still intertwined. "However I was at Central and I was the one…who shot Maes." He let out a shaky breath. He turned to face her and just shut his eyes, breaking down silently. She hooked her free hand over him and rubbed his back soothingly.
"You didn't kill Maes," She spoke bringing her forehead to his, "You could never do something like that to him, you loved him." The words seemed to soothe him. He opened his eyes and she stopped breathing for a moment. They didn't speak for a few moments and just soaked in each others calming presence.
"Riza." He spoke softly, not looking directly at her, "Will you stay here? I don't want to be alone…" He looked down at their entwined hands. A soft blush grazed his cheeks and he thanked his lucky stars that it was dark and she couldn't see the blush. He watched her contemplate the idea, tossing it back and forth.
"Of course, I understand why you're asking me this, but…" She said almost unconcernedly. He almost cringed, but this was her way of compartmentalizing to put emotions that she didn't want to show to rest. It was a shame that she had to do that, but he understood her father had caused her to be like this. "What does this mean? Isn't this just a little too intimate for just friends?" Roy's eyes widened and he thought for a moment, it was a little too intimate for them if the were only friends and nothing else.
Roy had been asked by Grumman to marry her several times and he just chuckled about it and brushed it off without another thought. There was the fact that she was the first crush that he had ever had when he was young. Also she had entrusted everything to him and he had entrusted everything to her. And then there was one fact that stood out among everything else, she was here now. She was the one that had come to comfort him when all other women had brushed him off for some cheap trick. When everyone else had left him, she had come. Maybe Maes had influenced her decision to come with the letter he had left her, but Riza still came on her own accord.
Roy frowned, "I don't know what we are after all this. After your father's, after Ishval, after Eastern command, after Maes…but I know one thing…I don't know how I could do without…and I need you now." Riza soft features became pained. Roy took in a sharp breath, "Riza?" He watched as Riza bushed the beads of tears from her eyes, she was letting her emotions get to her, she was thinking about how the words made her felt. Roy took that as a good sign.
"We've been together a long time after all…I don't know if I could do without you either." A small pained smile graced her features, "I just don't know if this is wise." She had a point. They could be Court Marshaled, separated, or killed.
Roy rapped both arms around her and brought her close to him, "It's worth the risk. I honestly believe that. If we feel so strongly that we absolutely can not do without each other, this is the best course of action. A relationship of more than friendship would be called for." Riza rapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his.
"I trust you." She muttered softly, "I trust your judgment…and…" She trailed off at a loss of word to describe what she was feeling. Roy leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her lips. Riza's eyes widened and she leaned in lightly, still caught off guard. It did not feel strange kissing her boss, it felt natural. He pulled away lightly and looked at Riza sheepishly. Riza just smiled.
"This will have to be a secret." Riza stated plainly. Roy nodded and placed one of his hands on the back of Riza's neck. Roy rubbed the back of her neck gently as Riza continued to speak, "And you'll have to keep seeing other women." He stopped and looked up at her.
"Riza I don't think I could do that…" He paused and pulled away. Roy rolled onto his back and placing his hands on his forehead. Roy let out a loud aggravated sigh, obviously unhappy with having to keep up dating appearances when he would be trying and testing a relationship with Riza Hawkeye. "I'd be thinking only of you."
Riza let out a sad sigh, "Appearances are important if we want to keep this…relationship a secret; especially if we don't want to endanger ourselves or anyone around us." Roy pulled his hands off of his head and turned his body back to look at Riza. He sat up and threw an arm around her.
"Alright, I understand." Roy looked over and saw Riza smiling. She brought a hand to his cheek and pulled him in for a light kiss.
Roy pulled away and smiled at her, and placed his hand that was draped around her on the small of her back. He pulled her in closer, close enough to let Riza rap her arms around him. She spoke softly for one last time, "Goodnight Roy." That was all the man needed to be able to drift off into a sleep without nightmares.
Author's Note: Well this is my first Royai. It's going to be three or four chapters and will cover some of the critical parts of the manga. For example when Gluttony goes after Riza, when Riza thinks Roy is dead, the split up of Roy's command, and now the fight with father and eventually the end. Most of the chapter will be about this long.
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