Ok, so this was supposed to be out last week. BUT! I got two spontaneous papers last week, the last of which was due today/yesterday (Thursday). I did have half of this typed out though, it was only a matter of finding an ending. I'm satisfied with this though.

Sadly, I must say, Kaori is not actually my first name. However, I like that name a lot, and used it in here. I'm American, leave me alone. Also, my boyfriend (my partner in crime in here) is also American, but I gave him an American name, cause I can't think of any Japanese ones that fit him. I'd say Kurama, because he usually is my night with flowing hair (GOD I WANNA GO PLAY WITH IT!!), but that wouldn't go over well with my attacker.

Hope you enjoy, so please read and review!!!

-Also, updates will come eventually. I've been getting ideas for new stories, but I can't put too much work into Lost until my major is declared (next week with crossed fingers...) and my Italian Final Project/Oral presentation is worked on. The semester ends in May, so I'll see how I do then.

I own Kaori and Andrew, the rest belong to Death101-Fox Version, Shea279 or Togashi.

Twisted Insanity

Kaori sighed, turning off the garden hose attached to her house. She'd run around frantically at first, trying to get the knob to turn so she could put out the garbage burning just in front of her porch. By the time she got it working, most of the trash had burned and the plastic trash bin had started to melt inside.

The now destroyed bin was in the back of the house, and hopefully her mother wouldn't notice it until after break was over and she was safely back at school, 50 miles away from any parents and their questions about what happened. A simple "What are you talking about? Is everyone ok?" would through off suspicion for a while. Of course, she'd probably get blamed for the incident, and unless she found out who had done it, she would rather steer clear of any accusations.

Back inside, she headed upstairs to the computer. One hamster peeked up from his home, noticing the light coming on, before heading back to sleep. The other, of course, didn't budge. Unless he was being fed, there was no need for him to heed whoever came in during the day.

Kaori logged on, and noticed an e-mail from a fellow author of hers, Death 101-Fox Version, or Death. She sent a hello, and Kaori Minamino-to the FF world of course- logged onto MSN to reply with a hello and smiley of her own. After a minute, she was invited to a conversation with Death and Shea.

Death: "Hey, Kaori, what's up?"

Kaori sighed, knowing that the fire in her yard hadn't been the only thing 'up' today.

Kaori: "Nothing much. Someone lit my garbage cans on fire, and I found a dead cat in my room."

Shea: "Someone killed your cats?!"

Kaori: "Not mine. Just a cat. Looked like a stray. Black fur. Missing an eye." Though Kaori adored cats, and had a few strays that knew their house as a safe haven for food and shelter, the fact that she had two fish, two hamsters, and a parakeet did not match well with having a cat, as her mother had said. Her sister of course was on her side, but their father agreed with mom.

Shea: "That sounds like the cat that scratched me."

Kaori: "When did that happen?"

Death: "Shea got scratched by a stray and got an email from some Cliff. Lazeby."

I know that name…Kaori though to herself. Kuwabara!

Kaori : "Isn't that the guy who voiced Kuwabara in the movies?"

Death: "You mean Kuwahara? And no clue." That made Kaori giggle. She never understood the name change, but it was indeed interesting. The doorbell rang, making Kaori bolt downstairs and open it, meeting the smiling, relaxed face of her boyfriend.

"Hey love!" she said, hugging him tightly before letting him inside. "I'll be ready to go in a bit. Finishing up a convo online."

"Ok," he said, plopping onto the couch and getting into a mini staring contest with the Parakeet.

"I'll be right back," Kaori said, running back upstairs. She came back just in time to see Shea's latest post; "Why would a voice actor email me and say that I had used up all my chances?" Kaori stopped, then sat down and wrote quickly.

Kaori: "He WHAT?!"

Death: "Apparently, someone is sending you people threats. Or maybe Cliff has gone off the deep end and thinks he is Kuwabara and wants revenge for you writing those stories."

Kaori did not like the sound of this at all. Sure, FanFiction said to delete a few stories, but it's not like she had them saved on her laptop. There was no way she was deleting all that hard work for an April Fool's… Joke? Wasn't it a joke? She typed again, slower this time.

"Then who is after me?"

Nothing. No no no no....

Death: "Maybe Hiei? After all your garbage was burned." Kaori nearly screamed. NOO!!

She started to type more frantically. "But why me? I haven't done anything to him! It's not like I ship him with Kurama or anything."

Death: "Maybe it's just a prank. A really late April Fools' prank from Fanfiction."

Kaori: "What about you, Death? You have stories still posted. Did anything weird happen to you?"

Death: "Other than a weird plant showing up at my house, no. And no, I have not gotten any threatening letters… anymore than usual."

Anymore than usual? What does that mean? Shea beat Kaori to the punch, asking the question she was about to type.

Death: "My publisher hates me. In fact, I wouldn't doubt that he sent this plant to me to try to scare me. That's all this is. A prank by some people who know of Yu Yu Hakusho. Everything that is happening to us now is a copy-cat crime because of that girl blogging that she got attacked by Jin."

Kaori had forgotten about that girl. A crazed Irish-Guy jumping a girl wasn't that common, though crazier things have happened on campus…but Jin? From an anime?

Kaori:"Do you really believe that?"

Death: "Honestly, no. Not really. I have a card here that I haven't read yet so I might be in the same boat as you guys."

Kaori: "You going to call the police?"

Death: "No. If I am right then they are getting swamped by calls right now. I'll just wait it out with my ninjas to protect me. What about you?"

Shea: "I'm with family right now so I'm not too worried."

Kaori heard her boyfriend walking into the kitchen for a drink or something. In about an hour, they'd be heading to dinner with her family, so she'd be surrounded by humans, meaning Hiei wouldn't do anything to theatric."I'm with family too," she typed out, half smiling at little Elijah, who came out of his burrow of Fluff and was walking around his hamster cage.

Death:"Lucky. I'll probably just lock everything really tight and sleep with a knife. Maybe that will help."

Shea: "If you had to fight against Yusuke maybe. But by the sounds of it you have Kurama."

Death: "So I'm dead."

As much as Kaori hated the thought of it, she couldn't help but send a nod. Yusuke wasn't the most cunning of the detectives, but Kurama could be in her house at this moment, waiting…

Death: "Brilliant."

Shea:"Still not going to call the police?"

Death: "Nope. I'll go rob a bank and get sent to jail. That should be safe, right?"

Kaori couldn't replay to that. Just as she moved to type an 'lol,' she saw a shadow behind her. She spun around, waiting with her breath held, sensitive to any sharp objects that would poke at her throat. After a moment, she turned back to the pc, reading Death's "I was joking guys."

"I know," Kaori typed out. "I just thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Must have been my imagination." Of course it was. Hiei isn't real.

Death: "Well there is something good about if I am versing 'Kurama', it won't be the real Kurama. Just some kid who thinks they are like him so I should be fine in my apartment. We have burglar alarms."

Shea: "Best of like then."
"I meant luck. Stupid keyboard."

Kaori smiled. "Thanks. I hope that Syco, Crazy, and Night are okay. They all kept their stories up. Although they all deleted theirs about a week ago. Maybe they were smart."

Death: "Yeah. Hope so too. At least you and me have the two worst cases. After all, who could be worse to have stalking you than Hiei or Kurama?"

"Jin or Touya? They were both ninjas." Kaori typed that without even thinking, hoping she was right subconsciously. At least Shea seemed relatively safe. Kuwabara wouldn't hurt a girl.

Death: "I'll ignore that."

Shea: "Haha."

Kaori couldn't help but smile, noticing she and Shea must share a brain or something. "You done yet?" Her boyfriend called upstairs.

"Two minutes!" she said, finishing up the conversation. She headed downstairs, grabbing a coat and giving him another hug. "The girls were a bit freaked out, worried they have stalkers or something."

"Do you have a stalker?"

Kaori paused for only a fraction of a second before smiling. "And what would you do if I did, Andrew?" she asked.

"Kill him. You're mine," Andrew replied. The two strolled outside, sitting on the porch for a while. It was the only time Kaori regretted living across from a cemetery, mostly because there were constant shadows in the trees, and the stones did not make her feel much safer.

Eventually, they hopped in Andrew's car, meeting her family for dinner at a nearby restaurant. She couldn't say anything to them, that some psycho anime demon was sitting in a tree outside, waiting to set her ablaze like the trashcan out back, just because he was in a story of hers. And what did he have to be sore about? He was just as much the hero as Kurama and Yusuke. Though he did get ambushed that one time…and she did call him adorable…and she never got around to getting him a girlfriend. Maybe that was it.

After dinner, the groups split, Kaori and Andrew heading to his house for a movie and Kaori's family heading home to take care of the lonely pets. In Andrew's room, Kaori sighed with relief, noticing that he still had that Katana against his wall, worst come to worst. Not that she'd stand a change, but maybe if Hiei tried to disarm her first, she'd have a few more seconds to get away.

"What's with you?" Andrew asked, pulling her down onto the couch next to him.

"Nothing. Can I use your laptop?" She asked, already pulling it onto her lap. She pulled open her e-mail and noticed nothing new, except a few messages from the band about planning a trip. Her junk mail had filled up rather quickly though, and she noticed that two of them were from . She opened the first one, and nearly paled at the contents.

"You are either a brave human or a fool.
Do NOT underestimate me."

"What is that about?" Kaori nearly jumped out of her skin, forgetting that Andrew was sitting only a few inches away and had read the message.

"Remember that show, Yu Yu Hakusho I made you start watching?" Nod. "Remember the short, angry one in black?" Another nod. "Yeah, apparently he thinks I'm underestimating him, WHICH I'M NOT!" She said that last part towards the window, in the off chance he heard her and would show a bit of mercy.

"But he's from an anime," Andrew said slowly.

"And apparently chills in real life too," Kaori said, opening the other FF message she had received that afternoon.

Heh, stalker? Don't flatter yourself.
I'd love to see him try.
I could dispose of him first if that will make your passing easier.

Kaori froze, heart slowing to a near stop, but pounding with such a force she could feel the laptop rocking on her legs.

"…He heard me?" Andrew asked slowly, eyebrow raised. Instantly Kaori was typing the reply.

Please oh please leave him alone! I'll delete them, I'll meet you somewhere to chat, I'll get you all the ice cream you want and I'll kick some stupid humans in the shin! I'll even give you more ammunition for Kuwabara, just please leave Andrew alone!

"Whoa whoa, don't reply to him," Andrew said, taking the laptop out of her hands before she could hit send. Tears sat in Kaori's eyes while she glared at him.

"And letting you die is a good idea why?" she yelled at him.

"Well, I'll fight him off while you get away. Worst case, I'll wait around for you in heaven."

"FIGHT OFF HIEI?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Kaori jumped up, pacing the room. "Let's see…we're both humans, and since I'm the only one involved, he can't hurt you. Koenma won't let him, or he's back on probation. Unless Koenma's in on it…in which case you had better get away from me. But this is your house, so I'll leave-"


"His boss! Why didn't you finish watching the show?!" Kaori nearly cried. "Hiei shoots a dragon of fire! While an amazingly epic attack, it hurts like you have NO IDEA! If you try to fight him off, you'll be dead before the first piece of your body hits the floor! Or he'll make you into a zombie thing with an eye out of your forehead and I don't want you to be a zombie!"


"Keiko was almost turned into one with the Shadow Sword! I know what I'm talking about!"

"Sure, sure," Andrew said, sitting her back down. "Let's sit and watch this and calm down, ok? Wait til one of your friends writes you, I'm sure they're fine, which means you're fine, which means I'm fine. Deal?"

Kaori nodded, curling up next to him and staring blankly at the tv, wishing for the little jingle that means she got a new e-mail.

After an hour and a half, Kaori heard a small chime. Reaching across her boyfriend, she pulled open the laptop. Death had sent her a message, asking about receiving any warnings.

"I'm guessing she means like the one I got earlier," she said. She began to type it out, telling Death that she should probably go out with a few people where she'd be safe. Kurama would definitely hesitate to kill her with other humans around. Just as she went to hit the send button, the internet connection died.

Next went the lights.

"Oh God oh God oh God, noooo," Kaori said, sliding up closer to her boyfriend. The only light came from the laptop, now running on battery. "I swear if you say you're going to leave me alone to go check the power, I will kill you right now."

"Thanks for saving me the effort." Both teens jumped and looked to their right. The window was open, and a shadow stood in front of it. Immediately Andrew was up and had Kaori behind him, backing towards his bed and the stairs that lead down and out of the house.

"Don't try it, human," it spat. Slowly it walked forward, light glinting off of the blade that was slowly being pulled from a sheath. "The minute your foot touches those stairs, you will lose your head." They both froze, Andrew holding Kaori tightly.

"Hey Hiei," she said, a bit of a tremble in her voice. His eyes merely narrowed at her and he let out a 'hn' as his sword was fully removed and rested casually in his grip.

"That is so much more epic sounding when you say it in person," Kaori sighed. "Do you think you coule-"

"Quiet you insolent human!" he seethed. "I'm not going to call you a 'baka onna,' as so many of you wonderful writers would have me."

"So is this about inaccuracy? Cause I will TOTALLY fix that for you," Kaori said. Andrew patted her on the head while keeping his eyes on Hiei.

"You should stop talking now, ok?" he said, eyes stuck on the red eyed glare.

"You're so fickle," Hiei spat, taking a step forward while they took a step back.

"Well, why are you doing this?" Kaori asked, looking into the shaded red eyes that glared straight back at her. It gave her chills, though they looked to have been colored, almost like contacts but more painted than real.

"Frankly, because I hate you," he said. "All of you, really. Pathetic humans, trying to manipulate our lives just to fulfill some twisted fantasies you have."

"Hey! I'm not twisted!" Kaori said. Andrew pushed her back as Hiei's glare hardened. "What have I done to you that's so wrong? Or Shea? Or Death? You're one of my favorite characters-"

"Yes, after Kurama and possibly Jin, depending if you're in the mood for stupidity or 'adorableness,'" Hiei spat. In a flash he was behind them, cutting off their path to the stairs. He shifted his gaze to Andrew. "You. You are allowed to leave while I deal with her. If you desire, when Kurama is done with the girl fittingly known as Death, he can erase all memories of this girl from your mind."

"What?!" Andrew asked. Hiei's eyes narrowed.

"I won't repeat myself."

"Do it," Kaori said, nudging him forward. "I don't mind, honest. Can't have both our mom's playing Yusuke's mom in this story." Andrew looked at her, then back to Hiei, who turned sideways so he could walk by him and down the stairs.

Instead, Andrew reached over and grabbed his katana, holding the sheath in his left hand, and bending his knees slightly. "Thanks, but no thanks," he said. "Either you leave, or one of us dies for her." Hiei raised an eyebrow before smirking. Before he opened his mouth, Kaori smacked Andrew on the head, making him all but lose his balance.

"What's wrong with you?! I told you to watch Yu Yu Hakusho! Hiei will not, I repeat, will NOT show remorse for you or me or any other human. Either you leave or watch me die while he cutooks me to death!!"

"Cutooks?" Hiei asked, raising an eyebrow. Kaori waved a hand around absently.

"You know, cut and cooks me. Sword of the Darkness flame would save a bit of effort, but not in here. His mom will have Koenma crying Uncle if this room gets trashed."

"Well I'm not leaving you!" Andrew said.

"And I will not spare you," Hiei said. "Do you have any last requests?"

Kaori paused, then thought carefully. She'd want her mother to know what happened to her, but didn't want Andrew locked up in a mental institute. The only way to save her life would be to appeal to Hiei. But that was a lost cause. So how could she make her death meaningful?

"Will you honor my request?" She asked. Hiei nodded. "Promise? No matter what?"

"As long as it isn't some silly request that I spare you, then yes," Hiei said, sheathing his sword in an attempted sign of good will.

"Alright," Kaori said, stepping in front of Andrew. "After you kill me, I want you to go to Yukina and tell her that you are her brother."

Hiei's right eye twitched.

It made Kaori blink and take a small step backward. "You can take your time, just do it within 24 hours so I don't miss it in Spirit World or…oh crap, do I still get to go to heaven?" Kaori stopped to think, then shrugged. "Maybe I can chill in Koenma's office…"

"Why would you ask such a thing?" Hiei spat.

"Well, my family's going to be losing me," she said slowly. "And so's Andrew's, since we're going to get married eventually. I hate making people sad, so making Yukina happy will at least atone for the pain I've caused you guys and will at least mend one broken family to replace another."

Hiei's glared softened slightly, eyes darting down in thought. Andrew slowly lowered his katana, looking back and forth between the two while Kaori smiled slightly. "And what is so amusing?!" Hiei spat.

"You have to, Chibi," she said, walking up to him. He whipped out his sword again and had it at her neck. Kaori froze, but the smile only grew. "When you kill me, you have to tell her. That is my final request."

"I don't want to tell her!" Hiei growled.

"Well that just sucks for you, doesn't it?" Kaori said, crossing her arms. "Kill me and tell her, or don't kill me and don't tell her." Hiei's eye twitched again before he closed his eyes and returned his sword to his sheath.

"Kurama would've been proud of you for coming up with such a scheme," he mused, flitting back to the open window. "One day, I may actually tell her. I doubt you'll find a way to cheat death that time.

"It wasn't a scheme ya know," Kaori said, turning around with a small chill that she saw Hiei's after image. "I would've liked to know I at least helped you. And don't worry, I won't have you tell her until you're ready. The two of you will be happier that way."

"Hn," Hiei mumbled before flitting away. Kaori stared for a few moments, before turning to look at Andrew, who blinked at her a few times.

"You're going to live, right?" he asked. Kaori nodded, her smile growing. He pulled her into a tight hug, dropping the katana on the floor. Who knew Hiei was so stubborn that he would spare her life over a secret? Not that she would complain, of course. After a few seconds, Kaori gasped, tugging away and sprinting the whole 3 feet to his laptop.

"Are you checking on Death and Shea?" he asked, walking over and sitting next to her as she pulled open a WordDocument.

"Eventually," Kaori said, typing frantically. "I have to write this down though. This is gonna make an awesome one-shot…"

Andrew sweatdropped for the first time in his human life while Kaori typed away quite happily. "Oh, come up with a fake name for yourself. Unless you want people to know who you are."

"What?" he asked. Kaori plopped the laptop on his lap.

"What do you think so far?" she asked in return. He looked down on his lap and read the first sentence.

Kaori sighed, turning off the garden hose attached to her house.