Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own Animate Me.
Many thanks to my beta Twilighzoner, and my pre-readers Azucena and BtwntheStacks
This Work of Art outtake is from a much requested lemon that occurred during the Barcelona trip. It was written for the Fandom Fights the Floods fundraiser.
I am still receiving a lot of love and new readers for Work of Art. It is all very much appreciated.
For those of you that were asking for Edward's point of view...here is a glimpse into his mind...as you may have imagined, it's a wild place to be...
Work of Art / Eight Miles and a Flight of Stairs
I sit down in my therapist's office. I like a moment alone as I usually require a period of adjustment before my session begins.
First, as always, I must prepare myself to deal with the framed posters that are the most agitating part of Cara's décor. I stare at the faded prints of Chagall and Miro's work and wonder why the name of the museum, that happened to have borrowed this painting and exhibited it briefly, was more prominent than the artist's name? How would Miro feel to see his work attributed to the Walker Museum in Minneapolis as it slowly fades under these florescent lights? Would he break down and cry to see his creation framed in cheesy gold metal with earthquake resistant Plexiglas obtained during the two-for-one sale at Aaron Bros. Art Mart?
I'm feeling pain; yet I'm in here to get rid of pain…does anyone see the irony in this?
I'm not just trying to be an ass. All art should be respected. To me it's the same as seeing a broken CD case of Bob Dylan or Beethoven lying on the backseat floor of someone's car.
It reminds me of the time when after a long night of drinking at our favorite club, I got Jasper to agree that we would never do those god damn cheesy museum posters, even if I get into a show at the friggin Met. Besides the fact that at this point in my career, museum posters were unlikely, my guess is that Jasper didn't really mean it. I think he was trying to placate me after our big fight where I wouldn't talk to him for a week. I mean the ass told me that my paintings would sell better if I used more blue in them. He may as well have set my house on fire than to say that to me.
I still can't believe this not enough blue comment came from someone who once considered himself an artist.
He thought I was having a hissy fit by not talking to him. No, I was keeping myself from talking to him so I wouldn't fire him. Jasper is like a brother to me, and I need him, but that blue issue-that was almost the end of us.
Okay, focus you stupid ass-focus…deep breath. Why am I particularly wound up today?
I can't wait for Cara to come in since when she does, she turns off the florescent lights because she knows I hate them. We can see all we need to with the window light. She's examining my thoughts, not my pores. With the glaring light gone I'll have an easier time relaxing and getting out of my head.
The door opens. The light clicks off. I take another deep breath.
Here she comes with that knowing look, settling into her squishy leather chair. My chair is taut fabric, a painful rust color speckled with bits of color that are confused as to how they ended up on this chair. What does the upholstery mean, speckled taut fabric versus squishy soft leather? Are we to determine a hierarchy established by the quality of one's upholstery?
I get the Cara smile. The soothing one. This is good. Yes, a good start. My savior is benevolent. She will smooth out my ruffles so that I can live outside my head for yet another day. Without Cara I wouldn't have Bella, so I would be willing to kiss Cara's feet and peel her grapes just so she would continue her voodoo that keeps my head above water. She conjures that magic that keeps me from scaring my Bella away.
As she opens up her leather folder (that matches her chair, I swear to fucking God) she takes her designer pen and touches the back of her neck, which encourages me to get lost in her helmet of hair. It's a sleek thing, a bob I believe they call it, and it comes to points in the front so sharp that they could inflict pain. I look at her hair a lot during the session since it is an amazing blend of yellow colors. I mean amazing. Like each fucking strand was painted separately. Like she goes underground once a month and a hundred elves take their paintbrushes and paint each strand one at a time. She probably thinks my focus on her hair is an avoidance technique but she's wrong. Every time I study her hair I see a color in there I didn't know existed. It always makes me want to go back to my studio and paint until I can create that color.
Cara clears her throat. "So…Barcelona. I think it was progress Edward that you only called me once…don't you?"
I dig my hands under my thighs. "Well, it was harder to call because Bella and I were together just about twenty-four, seven. I didn't want to worry her. We were having such a good time that I didn't want a single thing to go wrong.
"Well, I like that you were aiming high Edward, but that isn't realistic. In any trip-especially a complicated international trip, things will go wrong. It's how you choose to deal with the problems that define you." She clicks her pen. Does she know how that clicking makes me crazy? She must not because she clicks her pen again just before she glides into her next question. "How did you feel in Barcelona?"
I smile just thinking about our trip. There was a moment when I woke up with Bella in my arms that I thought I was in heaven. Really. I was disoriented from jet lag, yet so euphorically happy that in that moment heaven was the only explanation. And as long as I was with Bella, it was cool with me.
But there were also tangible, vivid feelings in Barcelona that I can tell Cara about. "The colors were so bright and warm." I explain. "It was how I remembered it from a trip there years ago. It's a city of surprises. For example, there will be four plain buildings in a row on a busy street and then suddenly the most extraordinary place you've ever seen. Which is even better than if the whole place was magic because this ensures you will be surprised."
"What did Bella think of Barcelona, of the trip?"
"Bella was so happy she was a beacon everywhere we went. Even if the light was bright, it was even brighter where Bella stood. I fell in love with her all over again."
"Do you think that's possible?"
"Well, first of all, I would never think about that. I just feel it-and believe me, I felt it." When we were in Gaudi's cathedral-you know La Sagrada Familia, I wanted to fall to my knees before her and beg her to marry me right then and there."
"But you didn't do that, correct?"
"No, but I really wanted to. I have talked about us getting married eventually, but no, I didn't fall to my knees and beg."
"But can you see that it was progress that you showed restraint? I think you would have scared her with that. She's already made it clear she wants you guys to take your time and build a solid foundation before you get married."
"Yes, I don't want to scare her. It breaks my heart when those brown eyes have fear. I would do almost anything to prevent that."
"See Edward, you're putting the needs of the one you love before your own here. This is good."
I nod. I can see that. She begins to write on the pad. I wonder if she'd mind if I drew a picture of her in her chair while she's writing about me. Then I wouldn't show her the drawings, just like she won't show me her notes.
"Okay Edward, let's talk about the stuff we've been working on recently such as your fear of abandonment and how that plays into certain dynamics with Bella. Did you experience any of that on this trip?"
"You mean like when I called you from that dinner party at four in the morning your time?"
"I'm still sorry about that. I was in such a state I forgot the time difference."
"Well, now that you are calmer I want to get into more depth regarding what that was about."
"It's really simple…I mean like stick figure drawings simple. There was a room full of Spanish fuckers that wanted to fuck my girl. Any man in love would have had some serious issues that evening with these men hitting on his woman. When that waiter brushed up against her breast I imagined doing a Luis Buñel on him and sliding my butter knife across his eye."
"That's very violent, Edward. Do you understand how violent that is?"
"Of course, but that's how I felt. It doesn't mean I would do it. I mean, I didn't do it, don't I get points for that?"
"Do you see a scoreboard here in my office?" She waves her hands towards the wall.
"We aren't keeping score, Edward."
"Well, we should because I would have won the fucking game that night. I was restraining myself all the fuck over the place. Remember when Bella and I first got together in Santa Fe and I went nuts when she met with that editor that wasn't even hitting on her?"
"Yes, I remember that vividly."
"Well, compared to that I showed a Grand Canyon full of restraint that night. She had men all over her, and I didn't go after even one of them."
"Tell me more," Cara prompts me.
"See, Bella doesn't understand, which of course is part of her allure, that she is the most beautiful, desirable woman in the world. She walks into a room with her cream-dipped skin and maraschino cherry lips parted just so and men just fall over themselves. It's all they can do not to bend her over the dessert table and take her immediately while the fruit tarts cascade to the floor."
"Yes, all men."
"Can you consider, Edward, that when you talk about bending her over the desert table you are really taking about the beast within yourself?"
"Well, that's a given Cara, but I'm talking about the rest of the men too."
"Does it occur to you that everyone may not think the way you do?"
"Well, I sure as hell hope that not everyone thinks like I do or this would be an even crazier, fucked-up world. But these men made their intentions quite clear."
"Give me an example."
"Sure, let's take Prince fuckwad. He sat next to my baby, and I could see the heat rise off of him every time he looked at her."
"You could see the heat?"
"Yes, it was curling swirls of red. I do believe that only I see these things at times, but the swirls were perfectly defined to me. I sat across the way so I had a perfect vantage point to see it.
"So I'm sitting next to our P.R. lady, Paloma, and overheard her telling the woman next to her that the Prince had already inquired about Bella and has designs on her. Paloma had already warned him that she wouldn't be sleeping with him tonight because we had an early morning meeting, but fuckwad told her to not be so sure."
"Ah yes, you were still under that charade then that you weren't involved."
I nod my head. "Yes, everyone believed she was single-it was such a dumbass plan."
"Was Bella showing any interest in this Prince that would cause you to feel insecure?"
"No, she was just being polite. Which certainly helped me restrain myself. I knew she would be furious at me if I caused a scene."
"I'm sure you're right."
"The thing is, my girl is so damn smart. She's so much smarter than me, and she knows how to be professional in the most trying of circumstances."
"So, do you see that she sets a good example for you?"
"Yes, but the Prince was just the beginning, Cara. Meanwhile, the museum's curator, Diego the dick, suddenly becomes touchy feely Octopus man. Every chance he gets he is stroking Bella's arm or resting his hand on her shoulder."
"How did that make you feel?"
"I know you are asking if I felt threatened because he was invading her space and trying to stake a claim. But let me be a bit more caveman clear about this-I wanted to pull his fingers off, one by one."
"I find all of these violent thoughts fascinating, Edward, because you don't have a history of violent acts."
"Cara, if I acted out half of the shit that goes on in my head I'd be in jail or the loony bin now. Instead I sit in here and tell you about it." I give her a big smile.
"Well, the icing on the cake was when I find Paloma giving Bella a rubdown and asking if she can come with her to her room. Even though I didn't get the full-on lusting lesbian confirmation until the next night, it was clear to me that Paloma was hitting on Bella too."
"You are making it sound like Bella got more attention than you did. Considering that it was your show, did that bother you?"
"I was too busy freaking out to let that bother me. But I can tell you that when Paloma put Bella in that car back to the hotel, I jumped in with her. I was so mad I couldn't even talk for several blocks."
"Why were you mad at Bella if she didn't do anything to encourage this behavior?"
"I know, I know, but I'd lost it at that point." Then I smile, remembering. "So you know what my girl does? She makes it a game, and asks me if I'm planning on having angry sex with her, and that I may need to spank her."
"Interesting. What did you think of that?"
"Are you kidding? I was so aroused that I considering taking her in the back of the car."
"Bella is getting very adept at using distraction as a technique for handling your elevated episodes."
"Well, I was distracted all right. We could barely get upstairs fast enough. I had to peel her off me in the elevator."
Cara shifts in her chair. "So what happened upstairs?"
I pause. This is crossing the line for me. I don't talk about Bella and my sex life in therapy or anywhere. It's too sacred to me. I mean making love to Bella is my religion…our bed is my altar.
"You don't have to get graphic, Edward, Just tell me if you were comfortable with what happened between you two."
I close my eyes and remember the feelings: anger and fierce desire wound together so tight that I could barely breathe. My slacks were straining; I wanted to yank them open and pull her onto my lap…but instead she stands before me, her hand on her hip, taunting me.
"So why are you going to punish me, Edward?"
"Because you clearly were not dissuading the people that wanted to fuck you."
"So you think I wanted them? And because of that you're going to spank me?" She bites her bottom lip as I watch her with fury in my eyes.
My baby girl is playing with fire.
"Are you sure about this, Bella?"
She doesn't realize that I've spanked women before. Both Irina and Carmen liked it rough. Carmen even liked it when I spanked her pussy.
Bella slowly unzips her skirt, letting it slide to the ground. She is naked underneath, and the heat moving up my spine nearly overcomes me. She turns away so her sweet, perfect ass faces me. It's a thing of beauty. I want to paint it, I want to kiss it…I don't want to hit it. But Bella steps closer to me.
"I've been naughty, Edward. I deserve to be spanked."
Fuck, I can't believe she's doing this to me. I wait for a moment to calm my mind before bending her over my knee. Her weight presses down over my erection, hard and hot against my thigh. The irony is that her pushing me to do this is what finally makes me angry enough to do it, but I need to maintain self control. I need to make sure we can trust each other in this dark game.
"Our safe-word, Bella, is Malibu. If it gets too much say Malibu and I will stop immediately. I will spank you six times. All right?"
She nods immediately. Even though she wants this, I can tell that she's nervous.
I step into my shadow place and my voice drops low and angry. "You've been very bad and provocative tonight, Bella, and I'm very, very angry at you. This is why you are being punished. Do you understand?" She nods and moans, squirming under me. I rub my hand over the perfection that is her ass, then lift my hand in the air before snapping it back down."
The startling sound of my slap on her flesh is disturbingly arousing. My heart accelerates and my mouth goes dry.
I look down and my handprint is a vibrant pink impression on her soft ivory skin. I've marked her, if even just for a minute. She turns and looks up at me. I see the desire in her eyes.
I slap harder this time as I hit her other cheek. I notice her legs pull apart a bit as she waits. Her desire is radiating off her. I am already visualizing how I want to take her when this is all over.
I look up to see Cara watching me curiously.
"You look unsettled. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Well, it's unsettling purposely slapping the woman you adore and then realizing that she likes it. The idea of hurting her, even if she asks for it, even if I don't intend to…is beyond reprehension."
"After the second slap, she begged me to do it harder."
"Only a bit, but I talked harder. I went all master on her, dominating…a caveman."
"And how did that make you feel?"
I get quiet again and let my mind focus back on that night. How did that make me feel? What did that do to me to watch Bella submissively draped over my knee? Her ass was hot pink from my own hands. I shift in my chair as I'm getting aroused-this isn't the place for that.
"Again," she begs. This time I strike her low-it's her sweet spot, and she moans loudly. I'm overwhelmed with the need to fuck her. I need to get my rigid cock free from these slacks but I can't until her punishment is complete.
"Three." I grit my teeth. "This is for letting those men near you so they could imagine they would have a chance to take you."
"How are you going to fuck me when this is over?" she groans.
"Hard. I'm going to fuck you hard," I snap. I grab her long hair with my fist and pull back.
"Four." She is panting. I'm starting to wonder if she really wants this after all?
"Are you done, Bella? Enough?"
Despite my fierce arousal, my mind is spinning in conflict. It isn't supposed to be like this. I worship my Bella. It's fucking twisted to inflict pain on her even if she asks for it. My hand wavers before coming down again.
Suddenly she starts to kick and fight me.
"Safe-word!" I demand. But instead she kicks harder.
"No, I want more…harder," she insists.
How much did she drink anyway?
"Six." The sound of the slap stings in my ear as I exhale loudly and loosen my hold on her.
"Fuck you!" she whispers, taunting me. " Toughen up, Edward. We aren't done here."
My fury rises as she pushes me to continue…the beast rises in me again.
I feel the embarrassment burn across my face as I look up at Cara.
"How did I feel? Primitive, like a man...like I owned her and I liked it. I can sit here now and say that is fucked up and wrong, but in that moment it felt so right."
"Well, it is important to acknowledge those feelings, Edward."
And I acknowledge them all right. Because Bella then demanded to be spanked more, and when I hesitated, she told me that the Prince wouldn't have turned her down."
I don't like the look on Cara's face. We both know how wrong it was for Bella to say that even if she was just trying to provoke me.
"You should have stopped it then," Cara advises.
"I didn't. I barely remember the next slaps. I went quickly because at that point I was blind with lust. I remember yelling that I would kill the motherfucker if he tried to fuck her and that her pussy belonged to me. All I could think about was that she was mine and that I was going to bury myself inside of her as soon as this was done."
I shut my mouth tightly-angry at myself for getting carried away and revealing such intimate details.
Cara makes notes on her pad. I can only imagine what those notes say.
I close my eyes again, and I see Bella before me, pushing off my lap and standing up defiantly. She still has her heels and bra on. She walks over to the dresser and gazes at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks and lips are flushed, her hair wild. She has never been more beautiful. She leans forward and pushes her hips back, taunting me with her pink ass before she gives me the "look."
She has those flushed lips twisted into a wicked smile. "What are you going to do now, Edward? Are you done with me?"
My breath is short and tight, my desire barely contained. I stand up and walk over, stopping just to her right. As she watches in the mirror, I remove my shirt and tie then undo my pants and push them down. Her eyes get dark as she takes in my arousal, my fist slowly moving up and down its length.
I move behind her and push her down across the dresser before rubbing myself where she is wet and ready. I lean forward and bite her shoulder before whispering in her ear.
"I'm going to fuck you hard, Bella, so you never forget who owns you. I would suggest you hold on tight." I push her feet further apart. I wait a long moment as she arches her back in anticipation.
"Who do you belong to?"
"You," she whispers.
"Do you want those other men? Do you think anyone could fuck you like I can?"
"No, no one could ever do to me what you do, Edward," she whispers, trying not to smile.
"Ask me for it," I demand.
"Please," she moans.
"Please what, Bella?"
"Please, please fuck me."
I slam into her hard. She is even hotter and wetter than I imagined.
I rock my hips back and slam again and again, gradually picking up an unrelenting rhythm. I can hear the sound of our skin slapping together. It echoes in my ears even still. I keep one hand tight on her hip, holding her where I want her, and the other roughly twisting her nipple. We are heat and passion, darkness and light.
I can tell I'm not going for the long haul. I'm too aroused, and I know that a climax is the only thing that will pull this fury out of me. "Touch yourself," I demand.
Her hand slips between her legs, and it doesn't take long before I can feel her contracting as her ass grinds into me. The vision of watching her bring herself to orgasm is beyond words. Even though I'm supposedly dominating her in this game, she is a lioness-fierce and proud. In that moment I realize the truth- that she is actually dominating me. As soon as she starts to come I am undone, pounding her hard and fast with each stroke, her ass getting pinker by the minute. My release is mind bending, as I take her with everything I have.
I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, trying to regain focus and slow my breathing. My heart is pounding. I can only imagine what Cara thinks.
"How were things when you were…done?" Cara asks, looking down at her notes.
"How were things?" I ask, tipping my head. Is she asking about the weather or how hard I came?
"How did you feel? How did she feel?"
"Satisfied," I whispered. "Very satisfied."
Cara looks over at the clock. She looks flustered. "Well, I see our time is up, Edward. Are we meeting Thursday at the same time? We can discuss this more then."
I nod and wait until she gets up and turns her back before I stand up and adjust myself. I pull out my phone before I'm even out the door. Luckily I get phone reception in the elevator and even in the parking garage.
"Baby," I sigh a breath of relief.
"Hi love," she replies happily. "How was your session?"
"It was intense. Remember the night on our trip that I got jealous and how I spanked you when we got back to the hotel?"
She moans. "Oh course, I'll never forget that."
"Well, we started to talk about how that night made me feel. You know, how much the idea of hurting you scared me when I was raging about those men."
"Good God, you told her about the spanking? I'm so embarrassed!"
"Baby, she's a therapist, I bet that's nothing compared to some of the shit she hears about."
"Well, that night was unbelievably hot," she says in a low voice.
I picture her bent over the dresser, beckoning me with her gorgeous pink ass. I shift myself again, struggling to handle the pressure building. I need relief desperately. I need my baby now.
"Let's just say that talking about it got me thinking…and I was wondering, how soon do you get off work?"
"I'm almost done for the day. What do you have in mind?"
I love it when she plays nice with me.
"How about if I make sweet love to you for hours and worship you to make up for being so harsh that night? I've got to have you, so can you hurry home? I'll meet you there."
"And what if I'm naughty and come a bit late?"
I sigh deeply. This woman's going to be my undoing.
"Well, then there will be repercussions. So keep that in mind."
"Oh, I will," she whispers. I can imagine her wicked smile.
I reach for my keys and turn my wrist sharply, firing up the ignition. I'm a lucky bastard because right now there are only eight miles, a flight of stairs and some easily removed clothes between me and my baby. No matter how she wants it…if she let's me be so good to her, or if she demands that I be bad; all that matters is that she'll be in my arms…
my baby, my love, my Bella.
Sigh...for those of you that hadn't read this, I am so happy to share Artward once more. I'm also currently working on a Work of Art outtake for the Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness fundraiser. It is not too late to donate: http:/fandom4saa (dot) wordpress (dot) com/
Also-if you haven't yet, please check out my new story Animate Me. It is very different than Work of Art, but I promise it will be an worthwhile ride. http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6989390/1/Animate_Me
Thanks for reading!