School Block Tango

Parody by StarTeen2000

Disclaimer:

I do NOT own the "Cell Block Tango" it belongs to the movie musical, Chicago. But the characters, David, Melissa, Marcell, Sally, Casey, and LaKeyshia and the other characters are ORIGINAL characters. The school SOTA (San Francisco School of the Arts) is a real high schol, I'm currently attending.
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In a warm afternoon, six SOTA Seniors, David Roberts, Melissa Walker, Mark "Marcell" Richards, Sally Yang, Casey Kinomoto, and LaKeyshia Williams were in the detention room with some other kids who were in detention also.

"Hey, keep your voices low back there." the detention teacher said to the kids who were talking loudly. One student was listening to the radio. Then, the music ended and the song, the Cell Block Tango began to start playing. All the lights went out and the spotlights began to flash.

David:

Pop.

Melissa:

Twelve.

Marcell:

Smash.

Sally:

Uh uh.

Casey:

Drama.

LaKeyshia:

Hamilton.

Principal:

And now, the six merry Seniors of School of the Arts in their rendition of the School Block Tango.

Boys and Girls:

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

All:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

Casey:

I betcha you would have done the same!

Boys and Girls:

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

David:

You know how people have these little habits that gets you down?

Like, my friend Gabriel "Gabe" Crenshaw. Gabe liked to chew bubblegum.

No, not chew, POP. So I came into study hall yesterday afternoon and I am really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy.

And there's Gabe, sitting in his desk, listening to his iPod and reading his comic books.

Then, he looks at me and he's chewing the whole time. No, not chewing, POPPING!

So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did.

So, I grabbed two textbooks from the shelf and I threw two warning shots.

Into...his...head.

All:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Melissa:

I met Jonathan Gonzales in my freshman year about three years ago

And he told me he was single and we hit it off right away.

We started sitting together, we began talking, even on the phone. We go to each other's houses and have study dates.

We'd have lunch together. And then I found out: "Single" he told me? Single, my ass!

Not only was he dating someone else...oh no. He had twelve girlfriends, TEWLVE!

One of those rich and popular whores, you know?

So the next day when Jonathan came to lunch, I sat next to him as usual.

You know, some guys just can't stand getting punched in the face...HARD!

All:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They took a flower

In its prime

And then they used it

And they abused it

It was an incident

But not a crime!

Marcell:

Now, I'm standing in the snack bar, gettin' my food for lunch, mindin' my own buisness.

In storms my best friend Ron Jackson in a jealous rage.

"You been screwing my girlfriend?," he says. He was crazy!

And he kept on screaming, "You been screwing my girlfriend?"

And then he ran into my lunch tray. He ran into my lunch tray ten times.

All:

If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Sally:

What am I doing here? They say I threw a chair at my friend and calling him a "slutty man-whore" after he snapped at me.

But it isn't true, I am innocent. I don't know why my other friends said I did it.

I tried to explain it to the principal, but he didn't believe me.

David:

Yeah, but did you do it?

Sally:

Uh Uh! Not guilty.

Casey:

My best friend, Roderick and I were rehearsing for a play, and my ex-girlfriend, Rebecca participated with us.

Now, during our rehearsal, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.

One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, cartwheels, back flips, front walkovers, back walkovers one right after the other.

So yesterday we're down at our Drama class having a party for the play that is happening tonight.

The three of us drinking Sprite and Cokes, having a few laughs and we ran out of chips and dip.

So I go out to get some more. I come back, open the door, and there's Rebecca and

Roderick doing Number Seventeen - the spread eagle!

Well, I was in such a state of shock. I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later, when I was being restrained by my drama teacher and classmates I even knew they were fucked up!

Casey/Boys and Girls:

They had it coming (They had it coming)

They had it coming (They had it coming)

They had it coming all along (They had it coming all along)

I didn't do it (He didn't do it)

But if I'd done it (But if he'd done it)

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it coming (They had it coming)

They had it coming (They had it coming)

They had it coming all along (They took a flower in its prime)

I didn't do it (And then they used it)

But if I'd done it (And they abused it)

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

LaKeyshia:

I loved Anthony Hamilton more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a songwriter and a pianist.

But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every passing period looking for himself and on the way...

He found Sharon, Roxanna, Chantell and Jason.

I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself walking away and I saw him beaten to the ground...badly!

All

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it coming, (They had it coming)

They had it coming, (They had it coming)

They had it coming all along, (They had it coming all along)

'Cause if they used us, ('cause if they used us)

And they abused us, (And they abused us)

How could you tell us That we were wrong?

They had it coming, (They had it coming)

They had it coming, (They had it coming)

They only had themselves to blame, (They only had themselves to blame.)

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

David:

You pop that gum one more time!

Melissa:

Single my ass!

Marcell:

Ten times.

Sally:

Not Guilty!

Casey:

Number seventeen - the spread-eagle!

LaKeyshia:

Artistic differences.

Pop, Twelve, Smash, Uh uh, Drama, Hamilton.

Then, the song ends and the school bell rings and it was time for lunch. All the teens were about to get out, but then the detention teacher stopped them. "Hey, you kids behave out there. Understand?" he said. "Yes, sir" the teens replied and they head out.