AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm sort of "borrowing" this idea from my sister. She said I could use it for an Impossibles story. This is one of the more comedic ones, by the way. As always, the Impossibles and Big D belong to Hanna-Barbera. Anyone else you encounter in the story belongs to me.
It was an average Saturday at the Sunshine Factory Amusement Park in Cherry Hill, California. The singing Impossibles were entertaining for a huge crowd of park patrons that day. As they were finishing up their latest hit, Coiley's guitar began beeping.
"Uh oh, fellas," he said. "Looks like Big D's calling."
"Sorry to spoil your fun, boys, but duty calls," Big D said, his image coming through on Coiley's guitar screen. "The Sixth National Bank is in the process of being robbed. Just a standard routine job, boys. I'm dispatching you to the scene as the bank is in downtown Cherry Hill."
"Right away, Big D!" Coiley shouted.
In a swirl of psychedelic colors, the singing Impossibles once again became the superhero Impossibles, and their portable stage transformed into the Impossi-Jet, and took to the air.
"Rally ho!" they shouted, as they took off toward the Sixth National Bank.
When the Impossibles arrived, two masked gun men were leaving the bank with their loot.
"Too easy," Fluey said, glancing at Coiley. "Do your stuff, Coiley."
"Right!" Coiley shouted, springing forward. "Rally ho!"
"What the . . . . ." one of the crooks asked, as Coiley reached forward and grabbed the cash right out of the crooks' hands.
"Uh oh," the other crook said. "It's those impossible Impossibles!"
"Let's get outta here!" the first yelled.
"Not so fast!" Fluey shouted, converting into a small tidal wave. "Rally ho ho!"
Fluey then splashed over the two crooks, causing them to drop their guns. They tried to make a break for it, when Multi duplicated himself and surrounded them.
"Ho boy," one of them said.
"We've had it!" the other shouted. "We might as well surrender!"
"A wise decision," Multi said. He was about to slap the cuffs on these two bank robbers when suddenly, a short, chubby man with blond hair wearing Superman pajamas ran onto the scene.
"Have no fear, citizens of Metropolis!" he shouted. "I . . . . SOOP! Perman shall save you all!"
"Eh?" Fluey said, giving this guy a weird look.
"Stand back, doers of evil!" the Superman wanna-be shouted. "Or I shall have to give you a sound therrrrr-rashing!"
"Hey, fella, I think you're in the wrong place here," Coiley said. "As you can see, we have everything under control and . . . . ."
"Silence, costumed crook!" the Superman wanna-be shouted.
"Crook?!" Fluey shouted incredulously. "Hey, man, are you ever mixed up! We're the good guys!"
"Fear not!" the Superman wanna-be shouted. "I, as always, shall save the day! No one can withstand a punch from SOOP! Perman!"
The Superman wanna-be then threw his fist right toward Multi. Immediately, the red haired Impossible held up his shield, and the man's fist collided with it.
"Yeeee-ahhh-hahhh!" he shouted.
"You were saying?" Coiley asked.
"He didn't even dent my shield," Multi said.
"Kryptonite!" the Superman wanna-be shouted. "That shield must be made of Kryptonite! Oh you vile villi-ans! I shall return! Up, up, and away!"
The Superman wanna-be jumped into the air, but nothing happened. The Impossibles just stared at him as if he were completely crazy.
"I shall walk then," the Superman wanna-be grumbled, and then he walked off.
"Where were we?" Coiley asked once the wanna-be Superman left.
"Busting a couple of criminals," Fluey said, then he noticed something. "Hey, he's gone!"
"At least they dropped the loot on the way out," Multi said, picking up a couple of bags of money.
"Yeah, but Big D's not gonna like the fact that we let 'em get away," Fluey said.
And with that, the boys returned the money to the bank and went back to the amusement park, informing Big D over what happened. He wasn't too thrilled that the criminals got away, but at least the boys recovered the money.
After the boys were finished with their gig, they decided to check out some of the rides, when Coiley's guitar began beeping again.
"What is it this time, chief?" he asked, once he activated the TV screen.
"I checked on that character you ran into earlier," Big D said. "The one you said thought he was Superman. His name is Aloycious Poindexter, and he is a patient at the Cuckoo Nut Grove Mental Institution."
"Somehow, I'm not surprised," Fluey commented.
"He believes he is really and truly Superman," Big D went on. "If you run into him again, which I highly doubt, apprehend him. If he believes in Superman, he could very well hurt himself. Or worse."
"Gotcha, chief!" the Impossibles shouted in unison.
"You think we will run into that nut again?" Fluey asked.
"Even Big D doesn't think so," Multi said. "Come on. Let's forget about him for now."
Coiley and Fluey agreed and started to get in line for one of the park's many roller coasters. They didn't get very far in the queue when they spotted a familiar figure in Superman pajamas running around.
"Uh oh," Coiley said. "Do you fellas see what I see?"
"Unfortunately yes," Fluey said with a sigh. "Let's do the quick change bit and catch up to that kook."
"Rally ho!" the Impossibles shouted in unison as they got out of the roller coaster line, ducked behind a fence, and changed to their superhero identities.
The boys spotted the Superman wanna-be standing in front of the tracks to a steel roller coaster, which was closed for repairs. They saw him grab part of the track.
"Hey, fella, what are you doing?!" Coiley shouted.
"Fella?" the fake superhero asked. "I'm no fella. I'm . . . . . SOOP! Perman!"
"Hey, man, say it, don't spray it!" Fluey shouted, wiping off the lens of his goggles.
"You're not Superman," Multi said. "You're Aloycious Poindexter, and we know you escaped from the Cuckoo Nut Grove mental hospital."
"I am SOOP! Perman, and I'll prove it!" Poindexter shouted. "Watch me bend this steel with my bare hands!"
Poindexter grabbed part of the roller coaster track, and tried to bend it. The Impossibles just stood there, watching Poindexter grunt, groan, and try to get that beam to bend, but it wouldn't budge.
"Come on, man, give it up!" Fluey shouted. "You'll only end up giving yourself a hernia."
"Bah!" Poindexter shouted. Then he pointed to Multi. "This is all your fault! You and that Kryptonite shield of yours!"
"Okay, Mr. Poindexter," Multi said. "Time to go back to Cuckoo Nut Grove."
"Nevaaaahhhhh!" Poindexter shouted. "I am . . . . . SOOP! Perman!"
"Pal, if you're Superman, then I'm the Queen of England!" Fluey shouted.
"Be that as it may, your majesty," Poindexter said. "I must be off to save Metropolis from e-ville. Up, up, and away!"
Poindexter jumped up in the air a couple of times, trying to fly, but he couldn't even get off the ground.
"Very well," he said. "I shall walk!"
And with that, Poindexter walked off in a huff. The Impossibles followed after him. There was no way in the world they were going to take chances with this one!
The boys searched all around the park, but they had lost Poindexter. As they were walking around, the owner of the park, Colonel Culpepper, walked over to them.
"Ah'm glad ah found you three," he said. "There's a ruckus goin' on ovuh yawnduh at mah shootin' gallery. Would you three check it out fuh me?"
"You bet, Colonel," Coiley said.
"Much obliged, fellers," the Colonel said, as the Impossibles zoomed toward an area of the park known as Wild Western World.
When the Impossibles arrived at the shooting gallery, they saw Poindexter standing there, with two twelve-year-old boys.
"I am SOOP! Perman!" he shouted.
"Get real, you're not Superman!" one of the boys shouted.
"Yeah, you're just a guy in Superman pajamas," the other said. "I should know. I had a pair just like yours when I was five!"
"But I am SOOP! Perman!" Poindexter shouted. "And I can prove it! Fire those rifles at my chest, and watch the bullets bounce off!"
The two boys shrugged, and picked up the shooting gallery rifles. The Impossibles arrived on the scene just in time to see the boys take aim right at Poindexter.
"Rattling ricochets!" Coiley shouted.
"Multi, I think this is your job," Fluey said.
"Right," Multi said. "Rally ho!"
Multi duplicated forward, giving himself an extra burst of speed. He arrived at the shooting gallery, and used his shield to deflect the BB's from the rifles, sending them right for the targets in the shooting gallery. The BB's wouldn't have killed Poindexter, but they sure would have hurt him, and possibly someone else.
"Haw, haw!" Poindexter laughed. "You see that? Bullets bounce off me! I am SOOP! Perman!"
"They didn't bounce off you!" one of the boys yelled. "They bounced off this guy's shield!"
"Shun the non-believers!" Poindexter yelled. "I am SOOP! Perman!"
"Super Fool is more like it," Fluey said. "Look, buster, you're gonna kill yourself if you keep this up!"
"I shall prove I am SOOP! Perman!" Poindexter shouted. "I shall fly! There's too much Kryptonite here at ground level. I shall need higher altitude!"
"Higher alti . . . . . this guy has some serious problems," Multi said.
"What was your first clue?" Fluey asked, sarcastically.
"Come on," Coiley said. "Let's get to the Impossi-Jet and stop this clown!"
"Rally ho!" the Impossibles shouted in unison, and ran for the amusement park parking lot to get to the Impossi-Jet.
By the time the Impossibles came back into the park via Impossi-Jet, they had lost track of Poindexter.
"Rats, we lost him!" Coiley shouted.
"Wait a minute," Multi said. "Look at that crowd of people down there."
"Yeah, they're all gathered around that fifteen story free-fall ride."
"Are you fellas thinking what I'm thinking?" Coiley asked.
"Yep," Fluey said, nodding. "I'm thinkin' it. Put the pedal to the metal, Coiley!"
"Rally ho!" the boys shouted, and zoomed toward the top of the fifteen story free-fall (known as "The Upchuck Arms"). There, on the very top of the ride was Aloycious Poindexter, getting ready to jump.
"Mr. Poindexter! Please, let's talk this over!" Coiley shouted.
"No time for talk!" Poindexter shouted. "It is time for SOOP! Perman to fly! Up, up, and away!"
"But you can't fly!" Multi shouted. "You're not Superman!"
"Yeah, you're just a whack job who thinks he's Superman!" Fluey shouted. "Now get down off of there before you kill yourself!"
"I am SOOP! Perman!" Poindexter shouted, stubbornly. "And I shall prove it! Up, up, and awaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!"
And with that, Poindexter jumped off the top of the free-fall. Coiley slammed on the gas, and zoomed down, trying to catch Poindexter before he hit the pavement. Unfortunately, he was too late.
"Oooooohhhhh . . . . ." Coiley and Multi grimaced.
"That's gonna leave a mark," Fluey said, getting a sick look on his face.
"I'm . . . . . oh-kay!" Poindexter shouted, while his face was down on the pavement.
"Well . . . . ." Coiley said. "At least he's alive."
"Hello, chief?" Fluey asked, activating his wrist communicator. "Uhhh . . . . . we found that nut bar who thinks he's Superman . . . . . ."
Hours later, the Impossibles were visiting the local hospital where Poindexter had been taken after the ambulance had been dispatched to the Sunshine Factory. Though he was still alive after the fifteen story plummet (this is a cartoon world, folks, it's possible), he did break every single bone in his body and was wrapped up like a mummy in a full body cast (except for his face).
"Well, Mr. Poindexter, I hope you learned something from all this," Coiley said.
"Oh I have," Poindexter said. "Indeed, I have."
"I hope you don't think you're Superman anymore," Multi said.
"No, no, I'm passed all that," Poindexter said.
"Good!" the Impossibles shouted in unison.
"I'm Spiderman now!" Poindexter shouted. "Watch me web swing!"
"Oh boy . . . . ." Coiley sighed.
"Oh no!" Multi groaned.
"Oh man!" Fluey moaned.
"Here we go again!" the Impossibles shouted in unison.