A/N: This is just a short story to touch on Jasper's struggle and how Carlisle is there to help him. Inspired by the song "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar. I would really suggest you listen to it! Enjoy, reviews are really appreciated!
War has been my life since I was nearly seventeen years old. Constant fighting, pain, suffering, horror, destruction, death. Fighting in the Civil War brought me to witness some terrible things, but I never regretted my decision to join the Confederate Army. The vampire wars of the south were an entirely different story. A day did not pass that I was happy with my life and I fell into a deep state of depression. My life had no meaning past creating and destroying new vampires and taking innocent human lives for my own selfish consumption. I was lost.
My love and salvation, Mary Alice Brandon, brought me to the Cullens; and in turn, the vegetarian style of life. Though things continue to be very difficult for me, I do not regret this choice.
The honey-blonde and pixie vampires stood silently outside a large, elegant house. His large hand wrapped around her smaller one, creating an unbreakable bond. The black-haired girl reached out and knocked twice on the detailed oak door. Only half a second passed before it swung open, revealing a blonde man and caramel-color haired woman. The pixie smiled wide and stepped over the doorframe, leading the scarred soldier with her. The man and woman gently observed them before the man stepped forward.
"I am Carlisle Cullen, and this is my wife Esme Cullen," he said politely, reaching out to shake their hands.
The pixie bounded forward and embraced Carlisle warmly, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. She stepped back, smiling. "I'm Alice," she said as she hugged Esme also. She stepped back toward the honey-blonde vampire and looked at him expectantly. When he did not introduce himself in turn, she spoke. "This is Jasper."
Jasper stood tall, his hands by his side. He tensed when Alice said his name. In a show of manners, he spoke.
"Pleased to meet you, sir. Ma'am." He kissed Esme's hand, still tense. He spoke each word as if it pained him.
Carlisle and Esme exchanged a swift, worried glance, before Alice began speaking excitedly again.
"We're interested in joining your family! You see, I have visions of the future, and I saw your family's way of life. It seems far more humane than anything I've seen before, especially compared to Jas-" she stopped herself, realizing what she had almost said, though she did not stop in time to save Jasper's crushed expression. He looked almost apologetic.
"Excuse me," he choked out before turning toward the door, exiting and jerking it shut behind him. Alice let out a small cry, glanced toward Carlisle and Esme then followed him.
Nearly a week had passed since Alice and Jasper's first appearance. Alice had returned after two days away with Jasper, but could not convince him to return with her.
On the sixth day, Jasper returned. He knocked nervously on the door once. Alice answered, and he took her in his arms, laying his head against her spiky hair. She wound her arms around his back and buried her face in his chest. "Let me show you our room," she said, the sound muffled, but he could still hear it perfectly.
Alice led Jasper to their room, and that was where he stayed for weeks. His eyes grew black as he grew weak, tucked into a ball in the far corner, his head resting on his knees. As much as he tried to stop it, he couldn't end the vivid images playing in his mind of the fighting. He could not be coaxed out long enough to even hunt.
Five weeks had passed since Jasper had exited the room. Alice had stopped staying with him all the time. It broke her heart too much to see him in so much pain. Finally, when she was sure he would die from starvation, she asked Carlisle to intervene.
"Please, Carlisle, talk to him. I don't know what else to do," she sobbed, before leaving the house with the rest of the family to hunt.
Carlisle slowly ascended the stairs and thrice knocked on the door to Jasper and Alice's bedroom. He was not surprised to find no response and the door locked. He could hear Jasper moaning to himself. Carlisle used his immense strength to open the door.
Upon the sound of his entrance, Jasper's head snapped up, his teeth barred. As Carlisle took a step closer, his hands raised, he slid up the wall into a defensive crouch.
"Jasper, I would just like to speak with you. I will not touch you, I will not approach you." He took a step back to demonstrate. Jasper snarled at the sound of his own name.
Carlisle slowly lowered his hands and Jasper tensed, ready to attack at any sudden movements. "Major Jasper Whitlock, may I please have a word with you?" he asked slowly.
This set something off in Jasper's head. He straightened for a moment, a confused look in his eyes, and then collapsed to his knees, his head in his hands. "Help me," he cried.
Carlisle did not dare move toward him, but he slowly crouched to his level. "Please talk to me, Jasper. I want to understand what is causing you so much pain."
Jasper slowly raised his head from his hands, his onyx eyes glinting in the light of the lamp beside him. He was shaking violently. "You do not want to understand," he said sadly.
"Yes, I would. Please talk to me," he said, trying to keep the tones of desperation out of his voice.
Jasper let out a harsh sigh. "When I was nearly seventeen years old, I left home to join the Confederate Army. I lied about my age, made them believe that I was twenty years old. I progressed very quickly through the ranks. Charisma, my father said it was. People liked me. I became the youngest Major in the Texas Calvary, possibly in the entire Confederate Army. In 1863, I was found by three vampires named Nettie, Lucy and… Maria." He shuddered with the third name. "They saw something in me that they liked and changed me. I was introduced to a life of constant carnage. I was her assistant. Her slave. It was my job to train the newborns for battle, then destroy them when they were no longer of use. I became tired of this life, and depressed from my constant need to feed. Whenever I killed, I could feel every emotion of my victim. I fell into such deep depression that I lost all will to live. I could find no meaning to my life until the day I met Alice. She told me of a new way to survive. I felt hope. She brought me here, but I cannot rid my head of the constant images. They're so vivid… it seems that I am back with her." With that last statement, he laid his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do anymore. I cannot do this alone; even Alice is not enough to get me through it. Please… save me."
It felt like a hole had been punched through Carlisle's chest. Even though he barely knew Jasper and had never had a proper conversation with him, it pained him to see anyone suffering this deeply.
With the help and encouragement of Carlisle, Jasper began to hunt animals, making weekly trips to stay safe. The images still haunted him, but he knew that there was someone to help him when he became lost.
A/N: Ok, so I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are MUCH appreciated!