So I'm watching some of Hairspray right now and there's this scene about twenty minutes in where this woman starts randomly singing while the kids are auditioning for that show. Anyway I thought to myself, what would I do in that situation? So I wrote about it here.


I knew they were all thinking it as I shuffled along to the twist and mashed potato. I knew it was the constant thought that went through all of their minds as we all watched Velma von Tussle dance like she owned the place. She went on and on about how she had been Miss Baltimore Crown back in her old days and how each and everyone of them had faults. Ha, I waited anxiously to hear her thoughts about me.

"Oh my, look now, this one is truly sad. This tall, boyish creature wouldn't even have a prayer." I smirk at her reaction of me and laugh a bit. That stopped her. She turns around and glares at me hard, "Was there something you wanted to say?"

My smirk turns into a full blown smile, "Oh you're done now with your song." I look at the other girl's, each one of them looking at me strangely. "I don't know about them but I was quite interested."

Amber von Tussle, Velma's daughter, steps forward her arms crossed against her chest tightly. "What are you even doing here geek?"

I feign a hurt expression and put my hands to my chest, "Oh don't say those sorts of things Amber, they really hurt my feelings." I put my hands in my pockets and smile at all of the "nicest kids in town". They probably had never seen someone like me. I was tall and lean, dressed in long jeans, a red and white raglan t-shirt and a baseball cap. I was everything that they weren't.

"What do you want Kalvin?" Amber asks again, annoyance evident in her voice.

I put a finger up to them, "I actually do have a point to my visit." I step toward Amber's mom, I was really close to her now. I look at her hard, my burning green eyes like lasers against her cold eyes. "I just wanted to tell you that you are a bitch." I then punch her hard in the face. She falls to the ground pathetically.

Amber drops down in shock, "Mom?!"

"That was for that kid over there," I say pointing to a short, slightly over-weight girl that Velma had ridiculed. I cross my arms against my flat chest, "You really should think before you say something." I wave to all of the kids, "Toodles." I then walk to the door, a satisfied smile on my face. Miss Baltimore Crown finally received what she deserved, a bloody nose.