You Can't Help Which Way You Fall by DD Agent
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, sadly, or the show they belong to.
Spoilers: This fic is based on lots of speculation generated from 3.01 and 3.02, so if you haven't seen those episodes yet I'd stay clear of this fic.
It had come down to this. The battle against Keats had been fought and won; the mysteries of the world had been solved. And now it came the final chapter in her journey, the final step she had to take. She had come up alone, not wanting to spoil the celebrations in CID downstairs. Shaz and Chris back together, Ray drinking and making crack remarks. But he had followed her; he had dogged every echoing footstep up to the roof until he was standing in front of her.
Gene looked at her, his eyes losing their fire every second she stood in front of him on the edge of that building. She looked down. Was this what Sam Tyler felt when he jumped from the edge of that roof? When he wanted to go back so desperately that he couldn't live in the real world anymore? But the happiness in the in between had eventually disappeared, and he had no place to go but on.
Sam had wanted to move on, some never did.
"Bols don't go."
She looked at him, her chest heaving with emotion. She had to stay strong. How ironic it was that when she had arrived she wanted to get back so much, there was no consideration of staying. And now it was taking ever cell in her body to force her this way, to return home. "I have to. She's my daughter, Gene, she's my Molly. I came back for you once, I can't do it again. I'm sorry."
She turned away from him, the wind around them whipping the tears from her eyes. She stood on the edge of the roof, taking one small step forward onto the ledge. Only way to go between the worlds is death. Death was life.
And life was death.
Molly was her only reason for going back, it wasn't for the cases and it certainly wasn't for any love life of hers. Sam Tyler had chosen to stay in this world because he loved Annie, because the people in this crossroads needed him. When she had talked to him he had spoken so eagerly of the world he had left behind, how he had dreamt of them. He had come back and realised the real world was black and white, and the world Gene Hunt represented was colour.
She had realised the same, and had returned to sort out the world that still haunted her. But they had never spoken to Sam after he had fallen through the void; they had not come for him. Gene had not come for him, had not dragged him out of the real world and back to the seventies. He had come for her.
She turned around, and that was her undoing.
Gene reached and grabbed her arse, pulling her towards him as roughly as he could and away from the ledge as quickly as he could. She was shunted up against his front. Alex moved her hand up over his chest, resting it on his heart. She had felt it beat three years ago, and she still felt it beat. He gave her behind a quick squeeze, winking at her. Alex felt herself smile involuntarily.
"I have wanted to do this for three years Alex."
"Grab my arse? You stamped it once."
"Wonder if it's still there."
His lips were rough, chapped. His breath smelled like cheap whiskey and the stubble on his face was tickling her skin. And yet as his lips pressed to hers she couldn't help but feel alive. His hand tangled in her crop of hair and crashed his mouth down on hers, tasting her and consuming her. She felt his tongue pressing against hers and she caved against him. When Gene finally broke away, he looked at her and let her go, moving two steps back. Alex missed the contact instantly, the heat and the heartbeat.
"You kiss a girl and then tell her to leave? You're a different kind of gentleman Gene Hunt."
He smiled, and looked at her with the saddest expression Alex had ever seen. He dug his hands in his trouser pockets and smiled faintly. She could see that they were struggling to remain in his trousers, she wondered if he wanted to touch her again. "I help people figure out what they want in life Alex, right the wrongs they can't do in the real world. I bring people with me, people closest to me. The Gene Genie may be a solitary creature Alex, but Gene Hunt is a lonely one. I've been trying for too long to keep people close. I need to let them go. I realised that with Sam. Had to let him go."
"What if I don't want to go?" Alex asked him, wanting to hear his answer. She wanted to know that with no lies, no boundaries that they could work together. She wanted to hear him tell her that she had to stay, knowing and understanding what it would cost her.
"You have to Bols. Even though you are an annoying tart with brains the size of your legs, you've got to go."
Alex nodded, knowing that he was right. She smiled faintly at his backward attempt at a compliment and blew him a kiss. She stepped up onto the edge of the roof once more and looked down on the city. How it would all change soon enough. Alex closed her eyes, letting the tears finally fall. She had to do it, had to had to had to.
"Goodbye imaginary constructs," Alex smiled, remembering her first thoughts in 1981. She could feel the wind go around her, lift up her arms as she took a deep breath and said her final goodbye to the world she was leaving behind.
Alex Drake opened her eyes and tore herself away from the edge and back onto the roof. She ran until she came close to the figure of Gene Hunt. She stood close to him, barely enough room for air. He looked down at her, wondering what had changed her mind, why she hadn't jumped.
"You can't help which way you fall."
She pulled his chin down to hers and kissed him hard, enjoying the surprise until it melded into a mutual kiss with both of them standing on the roof, sharing in the bitter wind of London in 1983.