Hi! Well I saw Zombie Land and Tallahassee and Columbus were to cute not to make a yaoi! I hope you enjoy!


Tallahassee looked further up the road and ignored his Spit-Fuck's constant twiddling with the damn sweater strings. The redneck wasn't sure if his bitch did it just to annoy him or not. The curly haired ex-college student let out a huff as he began searching inside the side compartment for something to read. Tallahassee rolled his eyes at Columbus's typical passive aggressive attitude.

"Are you going to bitch and moan all day?" Ohio looked up and attempted a weak glare which had absolutely no affect.

"No, I'm not but did you have to do that?! Wichita and I were already having problems and now I'll be lucky if she ever has sex with me again!"

"It's not my fault you can't satisfy her, maybe you just weren't meant to be with a woman."

"I was satisfying her just fine before you pulled me off! You couldn't even wait until I was finished before you pulled me off in mid-ugh!" The phobia obsessed teenager couldn't even finish that sentence. Tallahassee watched in amusement as the younger's cheeks began taking on a cherry red hue. A chuckle escaped the zombie hunter as he remembered the scene.


It had been earlier that week when he and Little Rock had been assigned to watch for zombies. In reality it was just him because the twelve year old soon fell asleep after the patrol had begun. The redneck had to admit that he was becoming slightly upset at the recent changes in the buddy system. Before the girls had shown up it had been just him and Ohio, on the road and watching each other's backs. He had enjoyed teasing the younger and having some company despite his "no attachments" attitude. It wasn't to say that he didn't like patrolling with Little Rock but she was just a kid and she certainly didn't try to diffuse a situation like his boy did.

Maybe it was that they were resting on some futons at the back of an old furniture company that had been cleaned out earlier that had him thinking back to when Ohio and him first met. He had just been searching for a fuckin twinkie when the little Spit-Fuck had come on the scene. Columbus might not have known it but the second he set foot into Tallahassee's car he became Florida's property. It was hard to even think of a time before the mad human disease broke out, it seemed like a different lifetime.

The redneck certainly didn't mean for his reminiscing to remind him of how lonely he was but it did. Leave it up to that fucking bitch with trust issues to steal HIS bitch! He had liked being the center of the college student's world! It had brought him back to a time when Buck was still alive and used to rely on him for everything. It had brought him back to when someone cared about him and when he felt needed. Tallahassee just knew that whatever trick Wichita was playing, his boy was eating it up. He had spent the next three months in insanity, doing nothing but killing those fuckers who took his meaning of life away for him. Every time he killed a zombie he was avenging his son's death. He could feel his rage increasing every time he had to room with the twelve year old. It was only recently that Tallahassee had come to see how much he relied on the younger man to take his anger away. It wasn't like the sisters were going to be with them much longer.

He had heard Wichita's secret talks with her sister when she had thought the men were asleep. The older girl would talk about staying with them a few more months before leaving them high and dry. Tallahassee had also gotten an ear full of details about her sex life. He had been rather curious to hear about how the resident shut in was progressing. In Wichita's opinion he sucked. That was fine by Florida! She could happily give his bitch back and go on her merry way. He would teach his little Spit-Fuck how to please someone the old fashioned way. It was always Little Rock that stopped her from going through with leaving.

Tallahassee had no idea what had happened to the older female or what type of baggage she was running from but damned if she was bringing his bitch into the middle of it. Little Rock had some spunk and was alright in Tallahassee's book. It was her older sister that the redneck couldn't stand. She was a grade A bitch who would take everything that he had worked hard for and leave. It had been around his angry musings on his thoughts when he heard whispered groans. The redneck quickly pulled out his rifle while he leaned closer to the wall. Was there a zombie he missed? He had been positive that the group had gotten them all before they put the building on lock down.

Another groan was heard as he let an insane grin slide to his face. He could take some of his frustrations out on some zombies! "Time to play you fuckers!" Florida yelled as he kicked open the door. He heard Witchita and Columbus scream in surprise while Tallahassee stood there dumbstruck. The redneck looked down to see his bitch balls deep in Witchita. Many thoughts ran through the zombie killer's head but the most prominant being.

"HE ISN'T WEARING A CONDOM!"

Now, Tallahassee's a man who relies on instinct. When he saw this his body simply reacted. It wasn't like his eyes always went to a man's dick but he had to save his Columbus from getting that horrible bitch pregnant. The redneck ran over to Columbus and forcefully pulled him out of Wichita. Poor Ohio began to freeze up in confusion, while Wichita gave him a "what the fuck?" expression.

"What are you doing!" Columbus shrieked as he began to spaz in Florida's hold. This wasn't the smartest thing to do because it made the redneck lose his balance. The two fell onto one of the mattresses and accidentally mashed their faces together. All of the flood gates of arousal that Tallahassee had been holding back in order not to spook the younger opened, not caring in the least the Wichita was still watching them.

Columbus felt a calloused hand grab the back of his curly locks and he was pulled closer to the alpha male. Tallahassee's hot lips met his cool ones as the older's teeth began to nip at him. Columbus made a sound of resistance before he felt himself responding. The only female in the group looked at them in disbelief. Was her boyfriend enjoying that? Rage couldn't even begin to describe how the teenager was feeling.

"Tallahassee get off of him!" She shrieked as she threw a pillow at Florida.

"Huh?" The redneck asked as he confusedly looked down at the panting male under him. Columbus met his eyes which held fear and a small bit of arousal. Damn was that a good look. Ohio snapped out of whatever trance he was in and looked down. His whole body flushed red as he realized he was still naked. The cowboy let out a chuckle. Wichita let out a frustrated noise in the back of her throat as she began to hurriedly put her clothes back on.

"You're a fucking prick Tallahassee and Columbus we are through!" The older female seethed as she walked out of the room. This seemed to get Ohio back to thinking properly.

"Wait! I didn't mean to!" The phobia ridden teen yelled back as he squirmed from under the older. Tallahassee seemed to get the message and let the other up. Ohio just looked at him nervously as he slowly began to pick up his clothes. Florida could sense the questioning in his bitch's gaze, which was something he didn't want to deal with now. With a huff the redneck walked out of the room, only to be met with a hard glare from Wichita which Tallahassee could only happily return.


The next few days after that were awkward to say the least. Little Rock mainly stayed to herself after she heard her sister's side of the tale. The twelve year old didn't want to be in the middle of this drama, she was happy on the sidelines thank you very much. Wichita had stayed away from Columbus, giving him the cold shoulder. Tallahassee mainly spent his time cleaning his guns while exuding his angry energy. Ohio was probably the most lost out the the group because Wichita wouldn't look at him, much less speak to him and he was to afraid to talk to Tallahassee.

No one would believe it but Tallahassee Florida spent most of his time worrying over the depressed Columbus. He wanted to explain what happened but damn it all he just didn't have the words! He didn't like how his little group had become broken up by what he had done. The redneck let out a sigh. It was time to nut up or shut up. The cowboy jumped off from the hood of the hummer and walked into the abandoned mattress factory.

"Ohio! It's time for some fuckin man talk!" Tallahassee yelled. It wasn't a minute later that the nervous ex college student came walking out of the furniture showroom chewing on his sweater strings. The redneck casually leaned against the door.

"Where are you going?" Little Rock asked.

"We're going to hunt for some fuckin Twinkies, ya want me to try to find something for you?" Florida was antsy. He wanted to have some alone time with his boy. The youngest female shrugged. "Nah".


Tallahassee smirked as he remembered what had caused this whole ordeal. Columbus was still trying to get his face back to a normal color, it looked adorable. The redneck instantly wanted to punch himself. He did NOT think words like "adorable".

"Yeah well, I hope you're happy! Wichita won't even speak to me anymore. What possessed you do that anyway!?" Columbus shrieked. Florida gave him a look that quickly took away the younger's bold attitude. "Um...I mean...sorry..." Ohio amended. The alpha male rolled this question around in his head. How would he answer this?

"Alright Spit-Fuck, the reality is that I'm not to keen on that chick. You see when a man claims another man it's rude for some bitch to think that she owns said man." Columbus had the most confused look of his face that Tallahassee had ever seen, apparently his wise way of explaining the situation was lost on Ohio.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm fuckin talking about the fact that you're mine!" Columbus recoiled as though he had been hit.

"I'm not yours..."

"The hell you're not. You belong to me! You are my bitch! Do you want to know something? Wichita fakes it every time you have sex! All she does is keep you near her and I'm sick of it!" The college student stared as the redneck ranted. He couldn't believe that this was what the cowboy wanted to talk to him about. It was a pretty big blow to his ego but he had suspected that Wichita had been faking for a while now, yet whenever he asked her about it she would deny it.

"Are you jealous!?" Columbus blurted out without thinking. Tallahassee let out a growl at that word. He didn't get jealous he was just...emotionally frustrated. The hummer screeched to a stop. Instead of being yelled at and hit Ohio was surprised when he was pulled into the older's lap and passionately kissed. He nervously began to try and get away before he felt something poking into his thigh. He supposed that he should try and enjoy it despite feeling horribly conflicted. Did Wichita even want him anymore? She sure didn't act like it and here was the kick ass cowboy, who was every girls fantasy kissing him. What the hell.

Tallahassee couldn't help the smirk that came to his face as he felt Columbus opening up for him. The redneck thrust up, making his clothed shaft hit the younger's steadily hardening one. A gasp was heard between the kissing lips. Tallahassee steadily began to move his hand under his bitch's shirt, which made Columbus thrust back down. The phobia ridden teen shivered as he felt the alpha male's hot lips move from his face to behind his ear. He would have never guessed the he would like to be bit but oh did he ever. A blush formed on the ex college student when he realized that he was making sounds that he thought only a loud whore could make. A squeak exited him as he was suddenly pushed into the backseat, where he was lying down.

"Tell me you're mine." A lust filled voice demanded. Ohio shivered at the command. He was already missing the other's presecence. His body was tight with arousal. He wasn't really thinking when he answered automatically.

"I'm yours." With that response Columbus found himself stripped of his shirt. He couldn't take his eyes off of Tallahassee's pure muscle. He vaguely wondered if the older would be mad if he felt him. The redneck met his eyes with a smirk, which made the shut in instantly blush. Columbus felt his hand being guided to touch the alpha male's manhood. The other hand was busy pulling off the redneck's shirt and unbuttoning his pants. Columbus moaned as he felt lips nipping down his torso. The younger continued to rub up and down Tallahassee's length. He looked down from his lust induced state as he felt the alpha male's breath over his clothed crotch. The ex-college student's voice caught in his throat as the older began to seductively pull down the zipper with his teeth.

The younger felt the rough material of his jeans slide down his hips before he let out a scream of pleasure. There was Tallahassee bent over him licking his hole. Columbus wanted to protest, this couldn't be sanitary, but his voice left him as the pleasure overwhelmed his body.

"I'll get you good'n ready." The older purred as he began alternating between licking and fingering the ring of muscle.

"N..no...not....clean...." A growl was heard before Ohio's protests were cut short with a hard kiss. The ex-college student wanted to cringe as he remembered where that tongue just was, but before he could complain he let out a scream at being unprepared for the penetration.

"Sorry Spit-Fuck." Tallahassee softly whispered as he began licking at his bitch's neck to distract him. Columbus took quick breaths to ease the pain, after about five minutes Ohio was beginning to get used to the intrusion. The redneck seemed to sense this as he asked.

"Ready?" Ohio nodded and the cowboy began to slowly ride the younger. Now, this wasn't Tallahassee's first rodeo, he knew where to hit and how fast to go and he was using all of that information to drive Columbus wild. The phobia ridden teen couldn't help but compare how hot and passionate Tallahassee was to Wichita. When he and Wichita had sex it was same ol' same ol'. The cowboy let out a lustful growl as he felt Ohio's nails did into his back. He just loved the sounds of pleasure that his bitch was making. The younger survivalist was still inexperienced so it wasn't long before he came. Tallahassee didn't hold it against him though, he knew that from listening to Wichita. This knowledge didn't stop from pounding the younger's ass until he got his release. Columbus tensed up as he felt the cum gushing into him and let out a noise of disgust as he felt it escaping.

Tallahassee chuckled after he caught his breath and he felt around for some of those wet naps that Columbus was so insistant that he keep in the hummer. The out of breath teen felt himself blush at the situation he was in. He had never intended to have sex with the redneck and he didn't know what would come of this but it was nice that Tallahassee was cleaning him up. He wondered if the redneck had ever taken the time to clean any of his other partners up. If he wasn't so tired he would have been mortified at the action.

"Now listen, you're mine, got it? You're not going to leave me and I'm not going to allow you to leave me. I'm not going to do anything that makes you want to leave me. After Buck I don't think I could handle another person I care about going away. The day I die is the day you are no longer mine." Tallahassee said this with such a serious firm tone that it made Columbus want to instantly agree. Yes, he felt some fear at the statement because let's face it, it was possessive and stalkerish but Ohio liked to think that that was the only way the older knew how to communicate.

"Yeah, I got it." The younger sleepily replied.

"Good, now go to sleep. I'll wake you when we get back." The cowboy said as he threw a blanket over his submissive. Tallahassee quickly put on his clothes. He allowed himself a moment to be sentimental when he heard snoring from the back seat. There was his reason for living and he would survive as long as he has Ohio to protect.

He wasn't all the surprised when he went back to the mattress outlet to see that Little Rock and Wichita had taken the second car and were gone.


Lol, yup this is what I was doing when I should have been writing a music report! Oh, I can't deny the call of yaoidom! Hoped you enjoyed it!