Wow...uhm...this was supposed to be a super short drabble...so much for that...
Am I the only one who was yelling at the TV when Brennan rejected Booth? I was so mad! But I loved that scene anyways. I was mad. Grr. So I'm coping by writing fanfiction!
He went home and saw her everywhere.
Somehow, even the couch reminded him of her. Even the light switch made him want to cry. How could his own apartment betray him like this? How could she not stop running through his head?
It took all he could to make it to the couch without crying. It took all he could not to break down. But that façade didn't last for long and he was soon sobbing on his couch without control. He knew he shouldn't cry like this (she wasn't crying like this on her couch at the moment), but he knew that his self-control went out the door with his hopes of happily ever after.
Seeley Booth lost all self-will.
He wasn't sure how long he was crying on the couch. It's not like he cared anymore. What was to care for? He was rejected. Rejected in the worst possible way. Rejected and smacked down. It was the worst feeling he ever felt in a long, long time.
How would he recover? How could he recover? Was it possible? Could they go back to being best friends only?
Too many questions.
"Can we still work together?" She had said. Booth had been stupid. He said yes.
But he had to move on. Booth had to find the girl who would love him in
She just rejected him. But he knew. Booth knew it was love. Booth knew it was fate.
So why didn't she?
Anger overtook his grief. Fury overtook his body. He didn't know what to do. So he knocked some books off the table. He stood up and kicked the couch.
He was pitiful. Pathetic. What was his problem?
The moment was over. The grief was back. The sorrow.
He decided he'd call her. He found his landline in his hand and hit speed dial 2 for Bones. That nervous feeling wasn't in him. He'd already lost it all, what else was there to lose? Goodbye dignity, goodbye self-respect, this was the last call and the last chance. He was a gambler. It was instinct.
"Hello, Booth. Are you okay? You sound-"
"I know." Booth's voice was hoarse and he sounded broken. He was. "I'm laying all my cards on the table once again" It was for the second time that night. "And I just thought that you should know before you turn your back on us…."
"I love…I love you. None of that 'atta-girl' crap either. The real thing. Love. I'm in love with you. And I'm not going to run out. You're not going to hurt me. I'm staying put. So before you talk yourself out of us, just keep that in mind." He hung up. He didn't want to hear her reject him again. He just wanted to let her know. It was cliché. And stupid.
Seeley Booth didn't care anymore.
With that, he fell back onto his couch and laid there, eyes wide open. He wouldn't be sleeping tonight. How could he, after such a night?
Twenty minutes later, he was aware that someone was knocking at the door. It was soft, hardly audible unless you were listening. And Booth was. The silence in his house wouldn't let him do anything but.
He answered the door without checking his appearance. If he had, he'd notice red eyes, disheveled hair, and wrinkled clothing. It was a sad sigh to see. That is exactly what Temperance Brennan thought when Booth flung the door open.
"Booth? You don't look good."
"Well thanks, there, Bones. After a night I've had, you'd look like this too." He said harshly. It wasn't so nice, seeing as he just admitted he loved her, but she hadn't been so nice herself.
"I'm sorry, Booth. I didn't realize-"
"You didn't realize a lot of things."
"I don't know what that means." Booth sighed. Of course not.
"Do you know what fate is, Bones? Do you know why people believe in it?"
"People believe in fate because they want to know that end the end everything happens for a reason and everything happens eventually."
"Exactly, Bones. Hope. That's what. And do you know what happened tonight? You crushed my hope. You just took my heart and soul and…and…and…" He couldn't hold himself together. He covered his face before he began to cry again. "You crushed them. You crushed me."
It was so unlike him that Brennan didn't know what to do. She stood there, her own tears almost coming out. She couldn't stand to see him like this. So…broken.
The worst was that it was all her fault.
"Booth, I'm sorry! I'm no good for anyone. You have such a good heart and everyone just calls me a cold fish…they say I'm without feeling. I'd be no good for-"
"For who? Because really, I'm the only one even trying here." Booth's tears stopped and his voice rose. He had uncovered his face while Brennan was talking and now he looked a little bit angry. Brennan was scared. She didn't know why, but all she knew was that she was.
"Booth, I want to try. But I've had enough rejection in my life. And I don't think I could take it if my best friend rejected me. So I'm sorry that you're so eager to possibly destroy our friendship and loyalties just for your own selfish reasons!" Brennan got angry also towards the end of her rant. Why was he doing this to them? Did he want to ruin their partnership forever?
"I'm not being selfish! You are! You always are! You're not the only one who has had a rough life, a rough past! Don't you get that? Don't you understand that you're not the only one hurting in this world? There are people who love you, care about you, and all you do is push them away. What for, huh? What good is it doing? None! Because there's only so much you can do to knock down those walls. Stop closing people out and maybe you won't experience so much rejection." They were face to face, eyes boring into each other's eyes.
She couldn't take it anymore. The constriction in her chest was too great to bear. To let it out, she smacked him across the face just like she had done all those years ago on their first case. And just like all those years ago, she spat out the words…
"I hate you." And she was out the door. Booth wouldn't let her go that easily. He stopped her in the hall.
"Don't do that. Please. I poured out my heart to you over the phone, okay? You had to come over here for some reason besides to make me feel worse."
"I came over here…because…I don't know." Brennan pushed Booth away as he tried to come closer.
"See what I mean? You won't let me in! I won't reject you, Bones. You just have to open up."
"I don't want to."
"Then I don't think we can work together anymore. I can't be best friends with someone who doesn't want a best friend."
This time Booth was the one to walk away. This time, Brennan was the one to stop him. But instead of physically, she did it with her voice.
"No!" Her voice broke through the air. It was the most heartbreaking sound Booth had heard from her. He turned around right outside of his door. She walked up beside him.
"What?" Booth's voice didn't sound angry. It sounded tired. He had given up.
"I do want a best friend. I do need a best friend. But I can't change. And that scares me because I know you'll want me to."
"Bones, I could never ask you to change. And if that's what's holding you back, well stop it. Because it isn't you. And that's who I want."
It was silent for a long moment as the two stand there, cheeks tearstained. Booth was breathing heavily. He couldn't take it anymore. He leaned and kissed her for the second time that night.
"If you want to leave us behind, you can walk away. If you want to give us a try at least just once or twice, I'll be waiting in here." And with that, Booth walked into his apartment and shut the door.
It took ten seconds for Booth to decide to call Brennan that night.
It took ten seconds for Brennan to decide to go to his house.
It took ten seconds for Booth to realize Brennan had smacked him and left.
It took ten seconds for him to run after her.
And it took ten seconds after Booth closed the door for Brennan to reopen it.
It took ten seconds for them to change their lives.
And it was ten seconds neither of them regretted.