Quinn Fabray sat crossed legged in the middle of her queen-sized bed watching as Rachel Berry stalked around her bedroom, nothing but a blur of argyle and brown hair. Her stare was diligent, though tired, dark rings colouring the puffy skin beneath her eyes. Her spine elongated and tensed into an uncomfortably upright position as she noticed Rachel picking up a photograph of the two of them off of her bookshelf.
The brunette had her back to Quinn, and the cheerleader unconsciously held her breath as Rachel ran her fingertips over the glass encasing the memory of a moment of their time spent together. With a heavy sigh she turned to face Quinn for a moment, her face completely void of emotion. Quinn had never seen the singer look so broken, and it pained her knowing that she had done this to her. That she was responsible for destroying Rachel's spirit.
Rachel allowed herself to look into the cheerleader's eyes only for a second, before she dropped her gaze to the creamy white of Quinn's carpet.
"Was the suitcase really necessary?" Quinn's voice broke the silence suddenly, her question being the first words spoken in no less than twenty minutes.
Rachel continued to study the floor. "I have a lot of things here." She allowed the frame to slip from her fingers, watching as it fell into the small open holdall at her feet.
"Why are you taking that? It doesn't belong to you." Quinn's tone was biting, disguising the anguish she felt within her heart. She saw Rachel frown before she began approaching, hesitance in every step. The blonde shifted slightly, anticipating her girlfriend's next words.
Rachel fell softly to her knees before Quinn at the side of the bed, her unfocused eyes trained defiantly to a point over her shoulder. "You don't need it anymore; you can just pretend this never happened." She ignored the near inaudible gasp that passed Quinn's lips before she'd had a chance to stop it. Bending at the waist, she reached beneath the blonde's bed and felt around; producing a folder of her favourite sheet music that she'd given to Quinn a few weeks ago.
Quinn felt a tear unwillingly slip down her cheek as Rachel stood back up, tucking the folder into the rapidly filling bag before moving to Quinn's closet. She began haphazardly tugging garments off of their hangers, not bothering to fold them before stuffing them into the holdall. As her fingers took hold of the edges of a teal and navy oversized t-shirt, Quinn's voice interrupted her.
"Please don't take that," she whispered.
Rachel faced her then, their eyes meeting finally. Both girl's faces were stoic, neither allowing the emotions they felt surface. "Quinn," Rachel began.
"I want that to stay, please." Quinn stated, the smallest amount of strength rising inside of her.
"Why?" Rachel asked, her eyebrows lifting and betraying her curiosity.
Quinn paused and debated how to answer. She wanted to tell Rachel that she'd regret this moment for the rest of her life, that even though she couldn't bring herself to stop it from happening; she wanted to keep this piece of Rachel. She wanted to go to sleep at night wearing the one thing she had left, to pull the material up over her nose and breathe in the scent of the girl she hadn't had the courage to stop from leaving.
Instead she narrowed her eyes, jaw clenching and snapped, "I bought that for you, so it's mine. Leave it."
Rachel nodded sadly before zipping up the bag and walking towards Quinn's bedroom door. She paused in the doorway, shoulders hunched. Quinn regarded how her posture seemed to relax before tightening even more than before, as if she were steeling herself for something impossibly difficult. And for Rachel, what she was supposed to do next was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do in her life. To walk out of this room and leave Quinn behind without looking back was something she didn't know how to accomplish.
"Don't go," came the meek voice from behind her.
When Quinn had suggested one night that Rachel leave some of her stuff at her house, because the singer was spending so much time there, she'd never imagined that things would turn out this way. If she had known that watching the brunette angrily collect all of her belongings, effectively erasing any proof of her existence in Quinn's life would hurt so deeply, she would never have brought it up.
Rachel didn't move, though she didn't leave either. She just stood completely still, eyes closed and knuckles white from clutching the handle in her fist. The steady rise and fall of her chest was the only movement visible.
Quinn ungracefully climbed off the bed, her feet stumbling as she rushed across the room to stand behind the brunette. Only an inch separated the two as Quinn timidly placed her open palm on Rachel's shoulder. When she heard the girl's sharp intake of breath, she allowed her hand to brush downwards, barely keeping contact with Rachel's skin as it travelled the length of her arm. When she reached Rachel's wrist, the brunette let the holdall fall from her grasp, and Quinn laced their fingers together and tugged so that Rachel was facing her.
Her eyes were still closed tightly, and her breaths were coming in short hot pants that warmed Quinn's cooling tear-tracked cheeks. The cheerleader lifted the hand that wasn't clutching Rachel's, pushing back the hair that had fallen into the girl's face.
Rachel opened her eyes at the touch, a watery brown gaze meeting her own. "Is this really how it ends?" She whispered, the words cracking before they left her throat.
"I don't know what you want me to say." Quinn answered, and noticed for the first time that her own voice sounded just as pained as the girl before her.
"You just said it all," Rachel mumbled in defeat.
She dropped Quinn's hand and turned to leave but the blonde had taken hold of her waist. She pulled Rachel's body flush against hers and crashed their lips together, sealing them in a fervent desperate kiss. It was born of words unspoken, of longing for a different life in which they could have worked, for a love left unexpressed, and as a painful reminder of all that was being lost.
Quinn felt the moisture on her cheeks, and was unsure if they were her tears or Rachel's, as they were both crying freely now. Their lips met time and time again, gaining strength as both girls desperately held on to their last moment of togetherness. Each refusing to break the contact as anger and frustration took hold of them.
It was Rachel who eventually pulled back; face flushed and hands on each side of Quinn's face. "There are so many things I haven't said, so much more I've yet to show you."
Quinn faltered, her mouth opening and closing whilst she tried to formulate a reply.
"It's okay," Rachel said with understanding. "I know you can't do this."
Quinn took her hand once more, leading her to the bed that they had shared on many nights. They sat down on the edge, and when Rachel looked as though she was about to question what they were doing, Quinn quickly cut in. "I don't want to forget you; I just want to say goodbye."
She kissed Rachel again, this time allowing her lips to move languidly and with purpose. Time seemed to stop and Quinn wished that it would stay frozen, allowing them to stay in this moment forever. Rachel's tongue ran teasingly along her lower lip and Quinn moaned in response. As the brunette's tongue gently entered her mouth, Quinn revelled in all the times they had been here before and felt a fresh onslaught of tears at the realization that they would never be here again.
Rachel lowered her to the mattress, their kiss never breaking as Quinn moved up the bed until her head was resting on the pillows. She ran her hands over the brunette's back, sighing at the feel of muscles flexing beneath the thin material of Rachel's shirt.
Rachel's lips moved across her face, dropping kisses to her cheeks, forehead and nose. Soft butterfly kisses became hot and open mouthed as she moved to the blonde's neck, sucking hard enough to ensure she left Quinn with a painful memento for the oncoming days.
Quinn whimpered and her fingers took hold of the hem of the singer's blouse, she jerked the material upwards slightly before pausing and meeting Rachel's questioning eyes. "I don't want this to confuse you, it doesn't mean..."
"I know," Rachel answered. She urged Quinn up into a sitting position so that she could unzip the white dress she was wearing. When Quinn let the straps fall, the dress pooled in her lap and left her naked from the waist up. Rachel placed a warm palm over her heart, feeling it beat faster because of her actions.
She quickly unbuttoned her blouse, pulling it off of her shoulders and throwing it to the floor besides the bed. Her bra followed and she choked back a sob as Quinn copied her earlier touch, the blonde's hand now feeling her pounding heart as it raced in time with her own for the last time.
Rachel took hold of the girl's wrist and brought it up to place a kiss in her palm, her smile faltering as she watched Quinn close her fist as if holding on to it. The blonde rested back on the pillows and lifted her hips so that Rachel could remove the dress from her body. Rachel followed suit, removing her skirt and panties so that they were both naked.
Quinn raised her legs, and spread them slightly so that Rachel could lie between them. At the first touch of their bodies together with no barriers, both girls cried out. Their lips connected once more in a kiss full of promises that both knew would not be kept.
Quinn's kisses were like whispers, and Rachel was sure that if she closed her eyes and concentrated carefully enough, she would hear all of the things that Quinn was too afraid to tell her.
A hand on her hip derailed her thoughts and she turned her attention to the body beneath hers. She wanted to take her time, to spend hours burning every touch and sensation into her long-time memory but it seemed Quinn had other ideas.
She knew that the cheerleader's parents would be home soon, and that they would hardly appreciate walking in to find a Jewish girl making love to their Christian daughter, even if they were breaking up. So she understood that this had to be rushed, but that still didn't quell the disappointment bubbling in her stomach as Quinn's fingers brushed against her inner thigh.
The disappointment was suddenly forgotten however as Quinn entered her with two fingers. Rachel groaned into the blonde's mouth, her own fingers burning a path down Quinn's taut stomach. Quinn stilled her fingers insider of her, her teeth nipping at Rachel's bottom lip.
Rachel understood what she wanted so allowed her fingers to run though Quinn's folds, sighing in awe at the wetness she found there. She gently pushed a finger inside of her girlfriend, crying out as she felt the girl's muscles constrict around her finger, pulling it deeper.
Their eyes fought to stay open as they began a steady rhythm, slowly thrusting in and out whilst thumbs deftly pressed against each other's clits. They built each other up agonizingly slow, both managing to somehow withstand the urge to break eye contact. They knew the end of their time together was approaching fast so they took solace in this moment of pure vulnerability, where anything seemed possible for them.
When Rachel's body stiffened above her, Quinn knew the girl was about to lose herself. She slowed her thrusts until she was barely moving and moaned Rachel's name when she felt the fingers inside of her pick up speed. As her mind clouded and her eyes closed on their own accord, Quinn started thrusting harder again and within seconds they were both coming together.
Rachel convulsed slightly and collapsed against Quinn's chest, it soon became apparent that Rachel was no longer trembling from the aftermath of their lovemaking. Hot wet tears ran across her breasts, so she touched a hand tenderly to the back of the girl's head, stroking her hair.
She felt Rachel's lips moving against her skin as she began to speak through her sobs. "I love..."
"Don't say it," Quinn whispered to her.
The brunette moved off of her quickly, averting Quinn's concerned eyes. She stood up and got dressed in silence, then strode to the door where her bag lay abandoned.
Quinn pulled the rumpled sheet around her body and felt her own eyes swell with tears again.
"How can you give up on us so easy?" Rachel asked from the doorway, her voice hollow. "How can you not want to see where this would lead?"
Quinn took a deep breath, "I don't know."
The brunette laughed bitterly, not once turning back to look at the cheerleader.
"This is hurting me too, Rach. More than I can say."
"You could stop it," Rachel whispered so quietly that Quinn was unsure if she'd even spoken at all.
"How?" She cried, the one syllable catching in her throat and coming out strangled.
"Tell me you want me to stay," Rachel pleaded. "Tell me you want to be with me."
Quinn sat in silence on the bed, the few yards between her and Rachel seeming to stretch on for miles. She wanted to run to her, to throw her arms around her girlfriend and beg her to stay. To apologise for her fears and insecurities, but instead she just wrapped the sheet tighter around her shoulders. Her face fell dejectedly and she quietly answered, "I can't."
"You will never know how amazing we could have been, Quinn. Guess our story will be left untold." Rachel picked up the holdall from the floor before purposely leaving the room, never looking back.