Waluigi's Nonsensical Adventure

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Here's a quick story for the night, folks. Read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their owners.


Waluigi was doing something today. Something that was something to Waluigi. Something that Waluigi was precisely intrigued into doing. Just what exactly was he doing, anyway?

"None of your business, you snooping loser!" Waluigi shouted in anger, muttering to himself as he rolled his eyes.

...Gee, you're kinda grumping, aren't you?

"Kinda grumpy? Kinda?" Waluigi spurted with anger as his eyes began popping out of his head, shaking his right fist in the air, "I'll show you grumpy! Get your fat ass down here!" He called out, wanting a challenge.

...Well... ...Uhhh... I'm pretty sure that I'm merely just the narrator of this tale-

"Narrator, sparranator! You're mine!" Waluigi screamed as he left the spring scene, heading up to beat me up. ...Wait, that's not in the script... HEELP!!! "Waluigi says stop squirming, you chicken!"


PLEASE STAND BY


Waluigi was skating on the grass with his new rocket shoes, spinning along like he was a ballerina. He was humming to himself as he then crashed into a light post, causing it to fall right on him. Waluigi, despite not feeling any real pain, moaned a bit as he kicked the lamp post off of him, rubbing his head as he took a good look around. He then spotted an incoming train coming towards him.

"What the hell... is there no logic whatsoever today?" Waluigi asked as he stopped the trains with his bare hands, pushing as hard as he could while not giving in. He stressed his muscles, but it was enough to help him stop the train in its tracks. Furious, Waluigi then started punching the train in, not knowing that there were any innocent people inside. He merely laughed as he punched the train into nothing but a miserable piles of splinters. Dusting off his hands, he pulled out several yellow bananas from the back right pocket of his dark purple overalls and munched down on his delicious bananas.

"Waluigi! I need your help!" Gooper Blooper came screaming as he moved at a fast pace, being chased by mutated bowling pins that were firing red lasers from their yellowish eyes.

Waluigi ate his last banana as he turned to his left to see the mutated bowling pins, dropping his jaw in disbelief. "You can't be serious... first a random speeding train, and now a bunch of mutated bowling pins?" He sighed as he grabbed Gooper's two tentacles, and then jumped into the air, allowing Gooper to spin around like a propeller. Waluigi then proceeded to kick the crap out of the mutated bowling pins, causing them to fall flat on the sidewalk.

"Wow Waluigi, you're doing a great job, beating up these mutated bowling pins!" Gooper exclaimed with glee as he coughed a bit, trying his best to exclaim, "Why, I was having some pancakes at that hotel near the river bend, and all of a sudden these guys showed up! It's like as if someone summoned them!"

Waluigi rolled his eyes as he performed a ground pound, defeating the last of the mutated bowling pins. He held out his long lanky arms, catching Gooper after he fell from the air. Placing the gigantic Blooper boss down on the concrete ground, Waluigi tipped off his purple cap to Gooper as he headed towards the western direction.

"Thanks again, Waluigi!" Gooper Blooper thanked as he waved, only to be attacked by mutant wooden signs that held him for ransom. Gooper struggled, screaming for help as he was dragged into the sewers.

Waluigi sighed as he took out a lighter and lit it up, despite not having a cigar or cigarette on him. He sighed as he took a good look at the red orange flame, thinking deeply to himself as the ground began shaking. Waluigi screamed as he turned around, to see a large, wooden land shark staring down at him.

Waluigi's right eye twitched, muttering in disbelief, "...What. A wooden Garchomp. Really, Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus?" Breaking the fourth wall for the unknown time, Waluigi got into a fighting position as he guarded himself against the sharp, wooden claws of the Garchomp, who was recklessly attacking.

Waluigi showed no mercy and went for a groin kick. However, the Garchomp felt no pain, and smacked Waluigi like a paper thin rag doll, crashing into one of the concrete buildings. Waluigi growled as he was then pelted by a powerful, hot Flamethrower. Being singed, Waluigi shook his head as he ignored the ashes that were on him, running straight towards the wooden Garchomp, screaming as he attempted a punch. The Garchomp grabbed Waluigi and smashed him down on the concrete ground, stepping on the mustached construction man several times. Waluigi tried his best to resist the pain, but he was then blasted off into the clear blue sky by the Garchomp, screaming as he fell behind the green grassy hills, into the lake that was situated behind it.

"He tried his best, but in the end, the strange, unknown wooden Garchomp somehow came out triumphant," Bowser Junior concluded as he closed the large, brownish book, turning to face the computer screen, chuckling as he shook his head slowly, "Now isn't that just the saddest thing you've ever heard of?"

THE END

"It's not over yet!" Waluigi shouted angrily, despite being in some rather unhealthy pain, somehow breathing in the deep end of the lake, "Just you wait! I'll get my revenge!"