I don't own Greys anatomy. Please review when your finished.

"Things happen that we can't control. We can't control our nightmares, who loves and hates us, how we handle grief and most importantly who we fall in love with. We can't control our fantasies and we

can't control our heart break. For a minute I wish I could focus on something else besides you. We were inseparable. I miss you and I will love you until my heart beats for the final time." Lexie was

sobbing as she looked at Mark who was standing there like stone. He didn't seem to care at all. Like he wasn't human.

"Well I don't care anymore Lex, because I don't love you." As he spoke those words he wanted to take them back. She didn't show any pain except in her eyes. In her eyes there was the worst

amount of pain imaginable. He was surprised that she was still standing under all that pain. So she gave weak smile, not a Lexie smile and walked away from him. With her head held high. She drove

home and on the way she stopped at a green light. Just do it Lex. She told herself. Escape this is your only chance. So as the light turned red she sped forward. There was a slight pain, mark I love you.

Then her world went black.


I was in an on call room. I wasn't sleeping with anyone, it was a first. I was sitting in the same spot where I told her I was over her. Then Derek walked in he had tears in his eyes. "Derek what's

wrong?" I got up slowly. "Lexie's in the ER Markā€¦.it, it doesn't look good." I stared at him in shock. I just talked to her an hour ago. Oh god what did I do? "How?" I asked with my eyes closed. "By the

reports of the witnesses they said that she waited at a green light then the moment that it turned red she zoomed forward into oncoming traffic. They said she was shaking uncontrollably and like she

wanted to die. They also said that she whispered something before she hit the gas." I gulped and ran towards the ER. Dear God don't let me lose her. Please I can't lose her. I told her I didn't love her,

No this was a joke and if it wasn't then she will be awake when I get there and ill take her in my arms and tell her I'm sorry and then we will get past all this. I raced around the corner and into the

trauma room. She was there unconscious, bleeding out. I put on a pair of gloves and pressed on one of the many wounds. Bailey looked at me and nodded but said nothing. My hands were steady and

when I looked at her face her eyes were closed and I pressed harder on wound. This was Lexie that was under my hand. Lexie, the girl I love more than anything that ever came into my life. Then I

heard someone yell for a crash cart. I lifted my hand away from her chest and she was bleeding profusely. I started CPR and then breathed into her mouth. She still tasted like Lexie. She did. I saw her

body lift off the table and heard voices but no words. I just looked into her face. The only words I heard were "time of death 11:11." Make a wish Lexie always used to say to me and I would never do

it. "I wish you would come back" I muttered under my breath. She wasn't bleeding anymore she was laying there. Still and then someone pulled the white sheet over her face and I broke down. I felt

Callie wrap her arms around my shoulders and I buried my head in her neck. She died. Lexie died because of me. I lied to her. If I had said it back we would be back at the apartment and she would be

in my arms while I watched her as she smiled up at me. If only I could have done this differently.

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