'The Jack in the Box'

Disclaimer: Do not own the wonderful world of Bones, or the characters, because hey, owning people is illegal. It should extend to make believe people too :P

Note from the Author: Having only recently gotten into Bones, my viewing of it has been limited to the first 4 seasons. So my story won't work with all this new stuff that's going on. If you review my story, I would greatly appreciate if you don't mention anything about what's going to happen or maybe how this story doesn't make any sense, because you'll spoil the fun for me :)

Cheers, kids – hope you enjoy. I'm addicted to reviews, by the way – so, help a junkie!

Chapter One: Mutual Attraction

Sweets looked at the two intelligent, mature individuals in front of him. Fighting, again. Sitting on this couch, he often felt like an umpire as opposed to the psychologist when it came to his two favourite patients. Of course, their banter was the source for a lot of psychological musings, but just once, he'd appreciate the opportunity to converse with them as mature adults instead of petulant children.

There was a sudden silence in the room as the both sat at opposite ends of the couch, arms crossed and leaning away from the other, looking like pissed off bookends. The way these two would fight reminded him of an old married couple. If it had been ethical, he would have suggested they just had sex already.

But of course he was more professional than that.

Sweets cleared his throat, and instantly they both turned to look at him, their faces both conveying the same emotion.

'Well, that's not exactly how I wanted that exercise to go, but nevertheless, very insightful.'

'I'm glad you got something out of it, Sweets, that really makes it worth our while.' Booth muttered, glaring out the window.

'This is just another clear example of how psychology does more harm than good. Asking us to describe what we look for in a romantic partner was a completely pointless exercise and has achieved nothing. What helpful information have you derived from it?' Brennan asked, looking at Sweets disdainfully.

'Bones, you know he's just going to do that annoying thing where he avoids the question by asking us one...' Booth grumbled.

'On the contrary, Agent Booth. I discovered that you are both attracted to people with traits that you can find in each other.'

They looked stunned for a moment, before launching into an attack.

'What?' Booth spluttered, before being interrupted by a disbelieving Brennan.

'I do not have one of the qualities that Booth finds attractive in the opposite sex. I'm not sexy, funny... or... or good with kids... and whatever else he mentioned!'

'I dunno Bones, you're pretty funny sometimes – I mean, you don't always mean to be, but I find you amusing.' Booth said quietly, looking intently at Bones.

'Oh, like a court jester?' She said, crossing her arms.

'I didn't say that! And you're good with kids, too – Parker loves you.' Booth said, almost hopefully.

'Well, Parker is the exception. He's a well equipped, likeable boy.' Brennan said it curtly, but her face had begun to soften.

'And what about sexy?' Sweets prompted, looking directly at Booth.

'Are you asking me if I find Brennan sexy?' Booth asked, his face flushing slightly. Before Booth could say anything, Brennan answered for him.

'Well obviously the answer is no. I'm not denying that I'm not sexually attractive to certain men, but sexy is entirely another jug of fish.' She said it confidently. But Sweets didn't miss the sideways glance she threw at Booth.

Booth looked at her, hiding a smile. 'Kettle, Bones, another kettle of fish.'

They both shared a look before Sweets interrupted it.

'Dr Brennan, 'sexy' doesn't have a homogenous definition. True, there is a standard for sexy in western society, but regardless of this fact it differs from man to man. Certainly, males have a penchant for visually attractive females – which you are: but each man also has his own definition for sexy, what really turns him on. From my understanding, traits that you have and elicit are similar to those which Agent Booth finds sexually alluring. Of course, I'm not implying that this necessarily means that Agent Booth is attracted to you...'

'What exactly are you trying to say, Sweets?' Booth asked.

'I think he's trying to say he finds me visually attractive,' Brennan said, hiding a crooked smile.

Booth looked at her sideways, his face breaking into a grin.

'You know, I think you're right. Don't you have a girlfriend, Sweets? Shouldn't you be telling her how hot she is, not Bones?'

'He wants to jump my Bones,' Brennan giggled, looking proud of her pun.

'See! You arefunny, Bones,' Booth remarked, laughing.

Sweets sighed. Anytime he thought he was about to make a breakthrough with one of these two, he'd be thwarted by one of them.

'Guys, this isn't about me! This is a classic avoidance technique...'

'You made it about you, Sweets, you can't deny it!' Booth said, pulling out his phone and turning it on. It immediately buzzed.

'I think we're done here, Brennan. Got a new case.'

'You can't just decide when we're done, Booth!'

Standing up simultaneously, their argument and anger forgotten, Booth opened the door.

'I'll try not to act provocatively around you, Sweets, for Daisy's sake,' Brennan said, laughing before disappearing out the door.

Booth didn't say anything before he left, leaving the door open.

Sweets stood up, slowly walking across the room to close the door.

He couldn't help but think maybe the ethical thing to do would be to tell them to just sleep together.


They found themselves behind a bright looking child-care centre, their eyes falling upon one of the bleakest scenes they'd seen in a long time.

Standing side by side, they looked down at the box which should have been empty. Instead, the remains of a baby were inside.

'You alright, Brennan?'

'Of course. It's just taking me a bit longer to disconnect from the bones... she's just so tiny.'

'It's okay Bones. I'd be worried if it didn't.'

Shaking herself to gain composure, Brennan kneeled down besides the box, delicately pointing to facial features.

'Asian features... approximately eighteen months old.' She paused for a moment, looking over the body of the baby.

'She has broken ribs. The injury wouldn't have killed her, but she would have been in a lot of pain.'

Booth grimaced.

'Can you work out the cause of death?'

'Not from here.'

Without another word, Booth turned to face the FBI forensics in the area.

'Alright, we're going to need to take this little girl back to the Jeffersonian! Find out what sick bastard did this.' He said, before turning back to look at Bones, who was looking up at him, her eyes sad.

Booth put a hand on her shoulder, and standing up, they headed to Booths car.


Well, there's one chapter. Not sure how often I'll be able to update – Uni requires way to much work for my liking! Hopefully it was enjoyable... I'm looking forward to working on it. Constructive criticism, ideas for the story, etc are all taken on board! I like interactive stories :)