Author's Note

As you approach this fanfiction, my dear readers, be aware that in this one crack!fic meets what the lovely MatteaAM labelled as shit!fic. It is, therefore, a piece written with the only purpose of amusing myself, PsychoMaddy and MatteaAM - whom this story goes out in dedication to - as they both stood by my side during the writing of it and virtually held my hand when I felt that this was going to be worse than anything else I had ever even merely thought about.

So, here. Take it with as many pinches of salt as you'd like, because it is certainly not to be taken seriously. Hope it can at least give you a good laugh, if nothing else.

And just so you know, English still isn't my native language, and this was not beta'd. That means you can blame me and Words for each and every mistake in the following chapters.

I hope you can enjoy the story nevertheless.