Disclaimer: For the last time – I do not own Alice Gakuen! Wow, can't believe I'll never have to type that damn disclaimer ever again! Oh, and be prepared for a huge author's note ... I'll hope you'll read it! Thank you also for all the reviews for the last chapter, especially the very honest ones! I really appreciate them all.
My Happy Ending
by Little Miss Giggle
I was nurtured, I was sheltered
I was curious and young
I was searching for that something
Trying to find it on the run
Oh, and just when I stopped looking
I saw just how far I'd come
In this life, in this life
You give me love, you give me light
Show me everything's been happening
I've opened up my eyes, I'm following
Three steps fight an honest fight
Two hearts that can start a fire
One love is all I need in this life
—In This Life, Delta Goodrem
(thank you to LaughXSmile who suggested this song to me all those years ago.)
2015, Spring time
"Oh my God! It's Natsume Hyuuga!"
Upon hearing his name, Natsume simultaneously turned around and stopped walking abruptly only to see three girls, who looked around his girlfriend's age if not a bit younger, with their mouths' gaped slightly and their eyes glittering in disbelief and admiration. Before Natsume could reply to the three girls however, the three girls shuffled closer to him and the boldest looking girl asked, "Can we please have a photo with you? Even an autograph?" Indeed, the other two girls (as their friend spoke) made her point clear by rummaging through their bags in order to find their phones and a piece of paper for an autograph.
Natsume blinked. Perhaps he should not have been as surprised as he was as this definitely wasn't the first (nor would it be the last time) he had been asked for photos and autograph. Nevertheless he was surprised, but he answered with a smile on his face, "Sure."
The girls squealed in thanks before two of them lined up beside him for a photograph while the other stood to take the photo. They took turns taking photos and Natsume felt that little sense of panic and nervousness he always did for a brief second when the camera was turned to him.
Even at the age of 25 Natsume didn't know what to do in front of a camera lens. Koko never failed to point out (and laugh) after a group photo that Natsume's face always looked contorted unless he was sitting beside Mikan, whereupon his face would be a little more relaxed. He would never dare say it out loud but he had to agree with Koko on that one.
"Is it okay?" Natsume questioned when the three girls ushered to look at the photo on their phone they had just taken with him.
"Oh, it's perfect!" the three girls chorused looking up to beam at Natsume Hyuuga; the three were extremely happy that they had bumped into the legendary Natsume Hyuuga on this sunny spring's day in Ueno Kouen. One of them then went on to say how much of a big fan of Crimson Abyss they all were back in the day.
Natsume expressed his gratitude and after he had signed the scraps of paper he had been handed with he gave the three girls a wave in goodbye.
Natsume Hyuuga was just an ordinary guy now. By ordinary, it meant that he lived with his long-term girlfriend Mikan Sakura, and had been doing so for three years; he had a very normal job in a tall sky-scraper building in Tokyo (related to the economy—something that Mikan did not and probably would never understand); he had friends who he went out with and had good and bad days. Sometimes he woke feeling he could take on the world and fix world poverty and other days he had to rely on his girlfriend to pull him out of his bouts of depression, which were (you'll be happy to hear) becoming less frequent as the years went by but still nevertheless happened. But yes, Natsume Hyuuga was an ordinary guy and had been away from the eyes of the media for a good four years now.
The only time he was really mentioned in the press was alongside his girlfriend, who despite being ordinary in every other sense apart from her occupation was still the famous twenty-three year old singer Mikan Sakura.
Yet it was the legacy of Crimson Abyss that had not been forgotten and that was the reason to why he had not faded away into the dark yet was still called upon by old fans. Natsume Hyuuga had a place in history and depending on who you asked it differed: some liked to still think of him as a dark yet legendary musician; others had a more sinister view of him whilst the other lot liked to think of Natsume Hyuuga as the 'once upon a misfit' who had become a 'good' under the influence of his 'saviour' of a girlfriend.
That was what Tokyo Times said at any rate and damn did it make him cringe whilst it made Mikan do a little victory dance in their apartment, as she sung out with her arms flailing about, "I am a savioooour!"
"Thank you!" Natsume heard the three girls call after him and he couldn't help but slightly smile as he continued his way down the path of Ueno Kouen.
His and Mikan's apartment was near the park, Ueno Kouen, so they often went for walks in the park and often went to visit the zoo there too so the both of them knew Ueno Kouen relatively well now—well enough for it, on this pretty spring's day, to be their meeting point for lunch. A lunch date, if you will.
"Meet me by the fountain at twelve thirty!" Mikan had instructed him that morning as she flew out the door.
He was albeit a bit early—he lunch break started at twelve and he did not need thirty minutes to make his way all the way to Ueno, so he was surprised when he saw that Mikan was already there, sitting by the fountain waiting for him.
Natsume smiled, she looks so cute. There she was, his girlfriend, wearing a simple beige maxi dress that he had bought with her last summer, with her hair tied in a low bun, with her sunglasses and with a dark lipstick staining her lovely lips.
Mikan spotted him before he could call out her name.
"Hey!" Mikan stood up with a smile on her face. "You're early!" she happily remarked as she walked over to her boyfriend.
Natsume responded by taking a hold of her hand and briefly kissing her on the top of her head. "You're early too."
"I rushed here." Mikan truthfully explained as she looked up at him with a toothy grin. The two at this point were walking, drifting in the direction of the grass where many people were already sat having picnics with their friends, family or even loved ones.
Natsume was pleased by her answer. It was so her.
"Couldn't wait to see me?" Natsume teased. "I suppose you did wake up and leave before I was even out of bed this morning." Mikan had an early meeting with her manager that morning.
"Hmm perhaps." She teased back as she started to swing their hands rather childishly. "Or perhaps it's just I couldn't wait to eat!"
Natsume was not pleased by this answer. But it was so her as well.
Natsume had texted her at eleven-thirty that morning informing her that he could buy something for them to eat for lunch at the convenience store right by the train station and indeed whilst his right hand was occupied with holding Mikan's small hand, he held a white plastic bag filled with recently purchased things in his left hand.
Before Natsume could retort something however, Mikan continued, "It's a pretty day, isn't it? It's a perfect day for a barbeque!"
Natsume snorted in a rather dismissive manner and Mikan could do nothing else but tinkle with laughter before she scolded Natsume lightly, "Stop with your strange sounds of irritation. You're coming to the barbeque tonight whether you like it or not."
Natsume grumbled a bit more. It wasn't only that he was a bit disgruntled by the fact that he couldn't spend tonight with Mikan all to himself but it was also because he had been invited to this barbeque by Youichi. Of course that made sense, as after all it was barbeque that Aoi and Youichi had organised that was taking place at their place but Natsume was still, even after all these years, not comfortable with Youichi.
Mainly because he knew Youichi was sleeping with his sister.
He couldn't help feel overly protective over Aoi. And that thought just didn't sit well with him, no matter how many times Mikan and Aoi had reprimanded him, saying that Aoi was perfectly smart and old enough to know what she was doing.
"Besides, I spoke to Aoi and she said everybody's coming tonight so you can't be a party-pooper and bail!" Mikan announced. "We haven't had a gathering like this since last Christmas!"
It took time (just under a year in fact) but luckily for Natsume, he was grateful to say that all of Mikan's friends viewed her and Natsume's relationship very positively indeed. Of course, it took some longer to accept their relationship than the others but the point was that now, in the present they all saw Natsume as a friend. Even Sumire. He was now permanent fixture in their lives; where Mikan went, he went. He was greeted like an old friend whenever any one of them came to visit them in their apartment. He was now a person that they relied on and trusted and even could spend time with comfortably. Even Hotaru. The two in fact had bonded two years ago on Mikan's twenty-first birthday as whilst everybody else had gotten completely and utterly drunk (including the birthday girl herself, who by the end of the night was fast-asleep on her boyfriend's lap, with her mouth unattractively gaped open) it seemed that it was only him and Hotaru who could stand so much alcohol. So, being the only two sober and conscious ones left they embarked on having a very deep, insightful conversation . . . nobody would ever know what exactly they talked about, but whatever they did talk about, it was good enough for Hotaru to respect Natsume after it.
They had all changed in the past five years; there was no doubt about it. There was the obvious: they all looked different. They had all matured too, grown up! . . . but sadly with growing up comes the inevitable 'drifting away'. But not in the way you think it means. They all drifted away from each other in the literal sense that all of them hardly got to see each other on a daily basis any more, not in the sense they were no longer close.
They were as close as ever, really, but their jobs and daily lives got in the way of seeing each other every day. There was also the important factor that the girls and even all of Natsume's friends too all had other friends (as Natsume did with his work and Mikan did with her work) and also by the fact that some even were in relationships now and thus they had to juggle with that aspect too.
And that was mainly why Mikan was in such an ecstatic mood that afternoon after hearing from Aoi. She was going to see everybody tonight! And perhaps she'll even get to finally meet some of her friends' boyfriends that she had heard so much about for the past few weeks.
"I guess we haven't all met up since then." Natsume mused before he made a mental note to text Koko to tell him explicitly not to bring any photo albums tonight.
"Shall we sit here?" Mikan suggested, motioning in front of her.
Natsume agreed, and as the two sat themselves down on the grass he said, "I bought you a bento box and oranges," he grinned when Mikan cheered happily as he pulled the two said items out of the plastic bag, "and the plum-flavoured chocolate balls you were whining and raving about last night."
"I was not!"
Natsume couldn't help look at her with a dubious eyebrow raised. "If that wasn't whining and raving then I don't know what is." He recalled last night as she was rummaging through the snack cupboard: Oh, Natsume! Why do you never get the plum-flavoured choco balls! You're so boring; you always get the normal milk-chocolate flavoured ones. But you hate plum, he had pointed out, to which she had responded, That's no excuse! You're so boring I am going to die.
At that point, Mikan took off her sunglasses so he could see her glare that honestly just looked so silly and out of place. He handed her the choco balls nevertheless with an amused grin on his face, and at the sight of them she couldn't help that bubble of laughter escape her lips. "Okay, okay you're right. I suppose I was out of control last night." she admitted without a trace of guilt on her face before looking at the choco balls in her hand with a sickly look, ". . . and what was I thinking? I hate plum!"
Natsume spluttered, "That's exactly what I said last night! To which you simply replied that I was so boring that you were going to die as a result of it!"
Mikan threw her head back and laughed. "Oh my poor Natsume." She put a soft hand to his cheek. "I'm so mean to you sometimes. I'm sorry. I was just having a strange and unexplainable craving for plums last night . . . You know I find your aloof and rather awkward personality adorable, don't you? And you're hilarious to me," she kissed him on the cheek, leaving a faint lip-mark on his cheek, "not boring in any way or form."
"Right, right . . ." Natsume dismissed Mikan by pushing her away with a grin he was trying hard to hide on his face.
"So now that's said and done," Mikan happily said as she sprung away from Natsume and stretched her hand out to grab an orange, "let's have lunch!"
As Mikan was peeling her orange Natsume remarked, "Oh, I also bought something that would make you laugh." He then proceeded to pull out the last thing that was in the plastic bag, and Mikan looked at him with interest, only to see him pull out a magazine.
"Mmm?" Mikan mumbled, intrigued, with a piece of orange now in her mouth.
Natsume then, with the magazine in hand, shuffled his way behind to where Mikan was sat, so that he could hold his girlfriend in his arms from behind, mainly so that both she and he could read the magazine together. He stretched his legs out so that Mikan was really encased and rested his chin on her shoulder as he flicked the pages of the magazine and mindlessly opened his mouth to welcome the piece of orange that Mikan offered him as he did so.
"Where is that damn article," Natsume mumbled, his warm breath tickling Mikan's ears as a result (she couldn't help giggle like a little girl) before he exclaimed a little, "Aha." and stopped on page 36 with a smirk that Mikan could and did not see. The title of the article nearly made Mikan, who had been languidly eating her orange, choke.
"W-W-WHAT!" Mikan dropped her orange and took the article from Natsume's hands, only to place it in her laps (her legs were bent so it was balancing more than anything between her knees and bust—so Natsume could still see the article) in order to read, out loud, the headline: "'Mikan Sakura—Pregnant with Natsume Hyuuga's baby?!'" she turned to him, "What the hell!"
Natsume chuckled in her hair. He knew she would react like this.
"'Mikan Sakura age 23," Mikan continued to read out loud, "was positively glowing beside her boyfriend of five years, Natsume Hyuuga, last weekend in Ginza as they walked hand in hand, each with a large Oichi bag in their free hands. Oichi, which is the well-known and loved national home products company that designs and sells things from beds, table . . . to essential baby furniture. A report tells us that inside Oichi, Mikan Sakura and Natsume Hyuuga seemed to linger quite a bit around the baby furniture section which makes us question whether the two are expecting a little bundle of joy.'" Mikan then incredulously spluttered, no longer reading the article out loud, "The hell are they talking about! We were nowhere near the baby furniture section last week! Ooooh," she narrowed her eyes now at the article, "the damn press . . . if they only knew we went to Oichi to buy new sofa covers because Hachi," Ruka's dog, "peed all over our old one!"
Natsume chuckled before he himself started to read the article out loud, taking it from the place where Mikan had left off, "'We can't also help but feel suspicious because ofthe glow that Mikan Sakura is radiating when she is in the presence of her boyfriend. A glow, that perhaps many readers will recognise, to be the glow that only pregnant women can emanate. Furthermore, later that night, Mikan Sakura and Natsume Hyuuga were seen in Shinagawa for a romantic dinner and sources also tell us that Mikan Sakura was seen to have been cradling her stomach on a number of occasions.'" Mikan spluttered again, shocked to what she was hearing—where they serious? Assuming she was pregnant because she was seen to be touching her stomach?! Nevertheless, Natsume continued—the end of the article was near: "'Mikan Sakura and Natsume Hyuuga have been one of Japan's favourite couples ever since it was confirmed that the two had rekindled their love back in the end of 2010 after a messy past, and many eye-witnesses often comment on how sweet and friendly the two are with one another,'" Natsume snorted along with Mikan at that statement before concluding the statement, "'so we can't help but wish upon a star that the two are indeed expecting a healthy, happy baby.'"
Mikan didn't know what to say.
Natsume snap shut the magazine, before he nudged his girlfriend from behind, with a smile pressed to the back of her neck. "So, what do you think Miss Glowing Mikan Sakura?"
". . . Well that definitely explains why Permy texted me with a teasing congratulation message. And Anna. And Nonoko. And why Hotaru asked me when I was expecting—I thought she meant when I was to see her, so I thought her question was strange! And . . . and why Aoi said she couldn't wait for a new Hyuuga—oh god." Mikan hid her face in her hands as Natsume laughed from behind her, loving her reaction. He put the magazine down beside him so that his hands could now wound themselves around her waist.
"Your friends love to tease you. And I think I know why they do."
"Oh god," Mikan repeated before she turned to look at Natsume from the corner of her eyes, "what if my parents see this? They would believe it a hundred percent and probably send us baby-clothes and toys! And oh god, what if Ryo sees this?!" At that, even Natsume halted with his laughter.
Ryo saw Natsume they way Natsume saw Youichi. That wasn't a good thing, especially when he feared that Ryo's dislike towards him was ten times worse than his feelings towards Youichi.
If Ryo saw and believed the article, then it was no longer really a laughing matter for Natsume. Just as how Natsume still found it hard to find space for Youichi in his heart after all these years, Ryo seemed to find the task of merely liking Natsume just as hard (if not harder). Natsume had gone to meet Mikan's family in Nagoya four years ago for the first time and he still went along with Mikan at least twice a year to visit them and whilst Mrs and Mr Sakura took a liking to Natsume quickly enough ("He's so handsome!" Mrs. Sakura had swooned; "He's very smart!" Mr. Sakura had gushed) and were happy to see him every time he came to visit, Ryo, on the other hand, continued to look at him with suspicious eyes.
Ryo had gotten married two years ago to an exciting Osaka girl (to Sumire, Anna and Nonoko's dismay) and very awkwardly for Natsume, he wasn't actually invited to his three-year girlfriend's older brother's wedding (his bloody sister was!) and ended up having to come as Mikan's plus one, to Aoi and Hotaru's absolute sheer amusement.
"If Ryo saw this he'd probably come all the way to Tokyo to kick your butt and say that I'm way too young to be a mummy and that you took advantage of me!"
Natsume didn't doubt that at all. Mikan was Ryo's very precious little sister after all, and he and Ryo, well, they hadn't exactly started off on the right foot . . . Natsume had stated that Ryo looked like a girl in one of his songs . . . not to mention he had treated Ryo with such a contemptible and callow manner on their first actual meeting it made Natsume cringe in embarrassment . . . he really was an cocky shit when he was teenager. It was no wonder that Ryo still gave him the stink eye whenever he opened the door to him and Mikan whenever they visited him and his wife.
Even so, Natsume still found his smile resurfacing, "It's still pretty damn funny." He then started to kiss the junction of Mikan's neck very softly, taking another mental note to email the Sakura's (and Ryo . . . if he felt brave enough) tonight about the truth and perhaps even leave a P.S. that he and Mikan would come visit soon.
"I still can't believe they called me pregnant!" Mikan continued to whine however, not yet seeing the funny side of the article, "That's horrible!"
Natsume however after hearing that statement stopped kissing her neck and looked up, turning her body ever so slightly so that he could see her face and so that she could see his face. A slight frown was now present on Natsume's face, "Why? You don't want kids?"
Mikan blinked, before she answered, "What? No! Of course I want kids—you know I do!" Natsume smiled at her answer as he thought, Yes, three to be precise. "It's just all these so called sources thought I was pregnant. Which means they thought I look like a pregnant lady. Which means they thought I look fat."
Natsume couldn't help the incredulous laugh that came after her very honest reply. "You're so silly, Mikan," he took hold of the magazine again and fumbled a bit for the page in question before continuing, "nobody is calling you fat," Mikan snorted at this (mumbling: "Then why do people think I'm pregnant?"), "and they only think you're pregnant because," his crimson eyes skimmed through the article, ". . . here we go—'because ofthe glow that Mikan Sakura is radiating when she is in the presence of her boyfriend'," he put the magazine back down after he had quoted what he was looking for (in an obnoxiously annoying voice), "that is to say, me." Natsume threw her a rather charming smile. "I have the power to make you glow like a pregnant woman apparently."
That was really when Mikan realised how secretly happy Natsume was reading this article. Yes, it was a source of amusement for her boyfriend but she could also tell it made him happy to read that she might be carrying his baby even though they both knew otherwise. She was sure it filled him with a sense of pride.
Men, she rolled her eyes quite adoringly. He really was so cute . . . in his special own way.
Even so, Mikan couldn't help but say, "But assuming I'm pregnant because I am radiating a non-existent glow is ridiculous! So is the excuse about my hand being on my stomach – come on! I was probably just nursing my full stomach; having a hand on your stomach does not equal mummy-to-be!"
Natsume sniggered, "The reporters are getting sillier by the day."
Mikan sighed in agreement before adding, "Not to mention I'm only twenty three! It's a bit too early for a Natsume Junior . . ."
"We had one in our teens." Natsume reminded Mikan, prompting Mikan to think of the stuffed toy bear they had fondly called Natsume Junior during their 'great escape' of the Academy.
She could do nothing but laugh in memory of that bear. "I wonder what happened to that thing . . ." she pondered for a second before agreeing, "Yes, you're right, we did have a Natsume Junior in our teens." Mikan reached her hand out to stroke little fine hairs on Natsume's nape and although she didn't comment on it out loud, she couldn't help notice how good Natsume smelt today . . . did he always smell this good? It seemed as if her nose was really getting perceptive these days . . .
Unaware of her thoughts, Natsume gently smiled at her before a rather taunting gleam sparkled in his eyes, "But it's definitely way too early for a Mikan Junior. I don't think I could, in fact, I don't think the world could handle another one of you."
"Oh ha ha Natsume."
Natsume leaned over to peck her lips and although at first her lips were tightly pressed it didn't take long for Mikan to smile into his kiss.
"But perhaps before I'm thirty, eh?" Natsume subtly requested, with that all too familiar smirk on his face.
Mikan looped her arms around Natsume's neck. "We'll see . . ." she grinned, "You'll have to grow up first before you have my permission in becoming the daddy of my children." It was Mikan's turn to laugh now, and when she did, Natsume couldn't help but think (despite the fact that she was teasing him now) how beautiful she was and how she didseem to be glowing . . .
Could it be that she really is . . . There was that little incident two months ago—no, no. Come on, Natsume, stop being silly. She's not pregnant . . . she can't be? Could she?—Those thoughts came to a halt when Mikan leaned to give her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. "You're such a muffin . . . which reminds me!" she turned to look down at the untouched bento box in front of her, "Let's eat!"
Natsume amusedly rolled his eyes.
Everyday was not perfect—that didn't exist, especially under the Sakura-Hyuuga roof and in their relationship. They fought as much as they said those three words, and indeed some fights were worse than other's – like the one last year where Mikan left their apartment in a fit of rage (she hobbled over to Hotaru's place of course), despite it being late at night, after she had been lectured quite aggressively by the jealous Natsume that he didn't want her to see Kaname anymore, alone, once she had returned back home from a friendly meal with Kaname (which she had invited Natsume to but which he had rather rudely declined, saying he'd rather babysit Koko than eat with that girly looking blondie). Despite that it had taken Natsume a few hours to both cool down and to swallow his pride to apologise (and after picking up the phone, only to hear Aoi's angry screeching voice, telling him to grow up), all was of course forgiven in the end. The point was their relationship wasn't smooth-sailing in any sense or form.
But they needed each other more than anything else.
Without Natsume, Mikan was incomplete.
Without Mikan, Natsume was insane.
And as the two sat under the spring's sun in Ueno Kouen together, all seemed perfect to them.
It all started with Natsume opening the door to Mikan. He had opened the door to the Alice Academy to her, and although he and even she would have never guessed it then, Natsume was also effectively opening the door to their lives together then. That was their start.
Mikan, as most little girls do, always dreamt for the happy ending – that shouldn't come as a surprise, really, right? But it was only recently that Mikan realised that a happy ending was the last thing she wanted because after all, who cares about the ending? It's the adventure to the ending that counts and that's all the fun. She wanted a happy life with Natsume, not a happy ending with him. As she fondly looked at Natsume then and there, she couldn't help a sappy smile come across as he started to mumble about the fact that the oranges weren't seedless as the packet said.
"You're so cute, Natsume." Mikan tinkled with laughter. "Like an ape." Natsume looked up, with a half-amused half-disgruntled expression. "My ape." Mikan added as she playfully chewed on the ends of her chopsticks.
"Since when are apes cute?" Natsume responded with his eyebrows furrowed. "You've already called me a muffin and now you're calling me an ape?"
"My ape." Mikan corrected.
Natsume laughed. "You're crazy."
Mikan grinned, saying what they always said whenever the word crazy was involved, "Only with you."
Natsume chuckled, before he cracked his pair of chopsticks apart, doing so with his gaze lingering on Mikan, who was plucking the plum out of her bento box with a disgusted frown on her face. "Here, I'll have it." He offered, as he always did, and she without being told twice threw in his bento box.
"Thank you, Natsume." She smiled.
And when Mikan smiled at him like that, a part of him couldn't help wish that Mikan was pregnant with his baby . . . as that would mean a start to another one of their adventure and it would also mean they would become parents to a child that was equally theirs . . .
But he could wait, he reasoned in his head, as for that day will come one day or another—he was sure of it, after all, their crazy adventure would continue to the very end of their lives together.
"Oh and Natsume? I love you. Just thought I'd let you know."
To think it started only with a swing of a door.
A/N: Is Mikan pregnant or not? I left you guys all on a vague note, but as this is the epilogue it'll be an unanswered one – it's for you guys to decide for yourselves … :-)
I don't know whether you liked it or not but this to me was enough.
Many wanted me to pair Sumire and Koko and Hotaru and Ruka respectively but I didn't. Why? Simply because although in the manga I'm completely rooting for Sumire and Koko (Hotaru and Ruka, not so much …) in this fic, although there were potential moments, I don't think either of the two would have happened due to the circumstances.
But I really, really, really hoped you enjoyed the epilogue.
So … time to say goodbye (cue to start listening to 'Time to say Goodbye' by Sarah Brightman and Andrew Bocelli – seriously, listen to it.)
So, here goes nothing!
Thank you all so much. It's been so much fun to have been able to write on this site but I have to admit I am more than ready to graduate from FFn. I came here in 2007, which is five years ago…woah. From thirteen to eighteen; it's crazy what a few years can do to you… I feel that I have outgrown FFn (I'm never on it anymore unless I am updating my own story), which is just a sad reminder to me that I'm growing up (blaah). I'll be honest too: I don't see myself ever coming back here so review for last time's sake?
But thanks for all the memories! Seriously—you guys have been so wonderful to me, too wonderful at times with your compliments. I've been writing this for so long now, it feels weird that I won't ever be writing about Mikan or Natsume again … weird in a good way though! But again, thank you all so much.
Now, I probably mean very little to every one of you who have read thus far – why should I have mean anything to any of you, right? None of you (to my knowledge) have ever met me in person and I gather that even if we did pass each other on the street you I would not know who you were vice versa. I'm nobody to you, yes – I'm just an amateur writer on the internet whose stories you have just read. Even so I hope you'll take this away with you; a little message from me, which is simple: please, please, please don't waste your life away reading and writing stories. It sounds like such an awful thing to say but don't judge me yet and hear me out! What I mean is, please don't waste your life on the internet (fanfics, in fact). Life is completely different to fanfictions in every single way. Sure, come here once a while and enjoy escaping reality but don't make this, (fanfictions, animes and mangas the internet) your reality. That's not life. And you might question me: "Who do you think you are, telling me how to live my life?!" but I'm really just saying this because, well, on my FFn facebook account, when I do go on it (once in a blue moon…) it really pains me to see that for some 'friends' I have on that account, FFn seems to be their life. It's tragic…and somewhat pitiable. I know we all have problems (some worse than others) and I know that sometimes we all want to hide away from life and escape in a world of fun and games (and corny but feel-good love stories of people with huge goo-goo eyes) but…no. I just can't accept that as life. I know that awful things like depression, bullying, lack of self-confidence exists. Of course I know that they do and I understand (to an extent) when people say they take refuge in this site from all of these awful things but to me, taking refuge in the internet instead tangible things (like your friends or family who have feelings and can hear your voice) is so destructive…
We only live once…so why would you want to spend life, which is so precious yet so miserably short on something like the internet when you could be out in town, enjoying the sun or even the pouring rain? You'll make better memories standing in the rain, getting drenched with your friends (or family) than you would if you spent the whole day inside tapping life away on your laptop.
I'm not saying 'don't ever read fanfiction or never write' (of course not! That would be paradoxical in so many ways) – I'm just saying balance it out well. Make writing and reading a part of your life, not your life itself. Especially don't cling to these fairy-tale stories - and girls, hate to break it to you but guys like Natsume Hyuuga DON'T exist. None of these anime/manga boys exist in reality… Let's take Natsume's example: First of all (the biggest and most obvious flaw) he's eleven. Or ten? Twelve? I can't remember but we'll just go with eleven because it's the median. Well, last year I babysat an eleven-year-old boy…pfft. Riiiiight, well, if you ever find an eleven year old who is not obsessing over some violent videogame (and boobs for that matter) and instead is completely head over heels in love with a silly girl (ahem, Mikan) please let me know but as far as I am concerned … no.Just no. So stop drooling on your keyboards about imaginary men and start to live your life—find someone who's perfect for you! :D
That's the real reason to why I am leaving this site (yes, this is my last story!). Yes, I do feel like I've outgrown it but the main reason is because life is not on the screen but out there.
So, carpe diem, girls!
So now I say goodbye: goodbye, goodbye, thank you, and for the last time, good bye! These past five years with you all have been an absolute pleasure.