Title: Decisions

Warnings: Slash, Dom!Cas, Sub!Dean (but only slightly)

Pairing/Characters: Castiel/Dean

Rating: M [R]

Spoilers: 5.17 and 5.18 (from spoiler vids)

A/N: Apologies in advance, I've never written anything sexually graphic in my life and now suddenly I feel the need. I'm very sorry if it sucks as much as I think it does, constructive criticism is much appreciated. Don't expect this sort of thing from me often, I had to fight with my muse every step of the way…

Also, I only took inspiration from the spoiler vids of Dean and Cas' fight in the alley. The actually dialogue and fight aren't anywhere similar to what it shows.

This story is dedicated to PicklePegg, who got me thinking about the dynamic between these two.

Dean had made his decision when he left Lisa's house, really he had made his decision when they had told the pastor in Blue Earth that he would have to kill the creature he thought was his daughter. He couldn't do this anymore, he was responsible for the lives of all of humanity and he couldn't live with the wait of all those deaths on his conscious. He conveniently forced himself to forget all the people that would die during Michael and Lucifer's death match. He conveniently forgot all the people ('Cas' his mind supplied) who had sacrificed so much ('his family, his grace' his mind piped up again) to get him this far.

His visit to Lisa had been more an attempt to grasp the feeling of contentment he had felt there with her before he had gone to hell. Too much had changed since then and; while he could still feel a distant echo of the love he had felt for her, a feeling that he clung to when speaking to her, his happiness was now bound up in a being so inexplicably awe-inspiring the he wished he still was in love with Lisa, because he could never have what he wanted. A man like Dean could never be deserving of the love of an angel.

What he had said to Lisa had been true though, if he was going to let Michael take his body out for a joy-ride then there were going to be some conditions made before he said yes. Lisa and Ben would be saved, no matter how the battle went they had to live, Sam would be forgiven and saved as well, Bobby would walk again and Cas….Cas would be forgiven and given his Grace back and allowed to return home with no punishment. That was the least he could do for the angel who had lost so much because of his miss-placed loyalty and faith in Dean Winchester.

So when he had approached that preacher on the street corner, who was ignored or occasionally mocked by passers-by, he was resigned to his fate. Not exactly happy, but content in the knowledge that his sacrifice would help the people he loved.

The look on the man's face as he told him his name and asked him to call down the angel's was one of worship, awe and fear. It was a look Dean knew he had shown Castiel at least once, perhaps more often, during their association; he felt completely undeserving of such an expression, after all, nothing about him was anywhere near as awe-inspiring as Cas.

Then, as if his thoughts of Cas has summoned him, he was there. He knocked out the street-preacher with a touch and slammed his fist into Dean's face, dragging him down the alley-way behind them and beating him with his fists as they went.

"Dammit Cas, what's wrong with you?!" Dean shouted.

"You cannot do this, I will not allow it." Cas said, with deadly seriousness.

"It's not your choice Cas, this is my responsibility."

"And you are my responsibility" he responded, the force of the next punch sending Dean rocketing into the chain link fence at the back of the alley. The people passing on the street either didn't hear or didn't care what was going on in the dark. Dean was betting on the second option, there was a reason he had never liked big cities.

Before he could respond to Cas, he was on him again pinning Dean against the sagging fence with the implacable strength of an angel. "I have given up everything for you!" Cas shouted. "I will not let you throw your life, Sam's life, my existence, away just because you are having a crisis of faith."

Struggling to breath against the arm that pressed against his neck, holding him to the fence, Dean spoke. "I think this has gone a bit past a 'crisis of faith' Cas."

"Why do you assume faith must be in God? You have no reason to put faith in God, neither do I, but you have lost faith in Sam, in yourself and" there was a pause "and me" he finished.

"We can't do anything, Cas! Let me go, this is my decision to make."

"I won't let you."

"You have to let me go sometime Cas and the moment you do I'm saying yes, there's nothing you can do to stop me." Dean said, enraged that Cas would try to tell him what to do. Castiel's eyes flashed in righteous anger.

"Don't be so sure" was all he said, before his fingers were pressing to Dean's forehead and before Dean could protest he was unconscious.

When he woke, Dean found himself on a too soft mattress that indicated that he was in a motel room. He tried to sit up and found that his hands had been tied, skillfully he might add, to opposite sides of the headboard. He tried to cry out, but found he had been gagged. The dark room did not allow him to see if he was alone in the room and after tugging at his bonds and realize he could not escape, Dean began to feel a bit afraid. A rustling sound from the other side of the room had him jerking his head around, trying to pinpoint the location of the sound.

"Do not be afraid, Dean. It's only me." Castiel said, coming into view when he stepped into a small pool of light coming in through the motel window. He came closer and removed the gag from Dean's mouth.

"Yeah, that's real reassuring Cas. Especially after you beat the crap out of me."

"If there had been another way to get your attention I would have used it Dean. I did not enjoy causing you pain." Dean snorted in disbelief, though Cas sounded absolutely sincere, the split lip and pounding headache were making him less than pleased with Cas at that moment.

"Yeah, well, what made you think I wouldn't listen?" Dean said.

"You were about to make a very stupid decision, Dean."

"It's my decision to make!"

"You are so arrogant, do you really believe that the only one affected by this decision would be yourself!?" Cas spat the words at Dean, his anger from earlier bubbling up once more. At the sound of Cas' anger, Dean's face fell and he crumpled in on himself.

"I can't do this anymore, Cas. I'm…I can't fix this and I just want it to be over." Dean's voice was open and raw, his emotions coming to the surface like he rarely allowed them to do. Castiel's face lost its anger, a look of caring coming over his face. He stepped closer again and then sat down on the side of the bed.

"You've always had someone to guide you, Dean, always had a mission and an objective. First it was your father, then it was your need to protect Sam and then the missions that Heaven gave you" Dean would have protested that, but the moment he shook his head in denial Cas spoke up "Yes, Dean. You may not have liked being told what to do by Uriel and I, but it gave you a purpose. That's what you need now and you can't find a way to protect people. You are making rash decisions, ones that you would never make if someone was there to guide you."

"Yeah, well what are you going to do about it? You're just a rebel angel, what can you do?" Dean's attempt at angering Castiel failed tremendously, Cas merely looked him with his preternaturally blue eyes and rested a hand on Dean's shoulder, which was still tied down.

"I am going to guide you, give you something to live for." Dean nearly choked, the words that Cas had spoken had come out in such a deep husky tone, that there was little room to interrupt his intent as anything other than carnal. He had never pretended to himself that he hadn't harbored a few fantasies (Okay, maybe a library full) in his head that starred him and Cas in the leading rolls, but none of them had started with Cas getting into a fistfight with him and tying him to a bed.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Cas?"

"Yes, this is what you need." Cas looked completed assured that this was the right course of action.

"But I don't…I mean…" Dean stumbled over his words, his tongue refusing to cooperate and then he finally spit out the words he was trying to say. "I don't want this to be just about me Cas." Cas blinked at him slowly and a small smile.

"Oh, this is not just for you Dean. There are other things I could have chosen to do to persuade you from saying 'yes' to Michael. This is merely the most beneficial to both of us." His voice had changed to a gravelly tone that sent all sorts of tingles through Dean.

"Oh" Dean swallowed convulsively "alright then, could you maybe untie me then?" Castiel smiled a practically wolfish grin and shook his head.

"I told you Dean, you need someone to guide you…to control you. You will not be calling the shots tonight." Dean's eyes grew wide, he was not at all sure about this, but the look in Castiel's eyes said that he really had no chance of getting out of this and he may as well lay back and enjoy the ride. He relaxed against the bed, thoughts of surrendering to Michael as far from his mind as they could ever get and thoughts of surrendering to an entirely different angel taking the forefront of his brain. Cas looked pleased and leaned down to deliver a kiss to Dean's lips, the kiss was chaste and simple and when Cas lifted his head away, Dean's mouth followed, looking for more contact. Castiel chuckled and stood up instead, removing his trenchcoat, suit coat and tie before climbing back on the bed, this time straddling Dean's waist.

"Cas, I'm still wearing clothes…for that matter you're also wearing too many clothes." Dean complained.

"I told you, I am calling the shots. I will remove your clothes when I am ready to, not before." Dean mumbled recalcitrantly at that. Cas leaned down and ran a hand over Dean's brow, ironing out the frown lines there and kissed him once more. This time his tongue licked against Dean's lips and Dean opened to him with a moan. Their tongues tangled in a battle for dominance that Castiel was determined to win. There were only so many ways to get a point across to Dean, fighting and sex were the only ones that Cas knew Dean would react to. Cas could see, from his own reaction to his attempt at doing the first, that he would never be able to hurt Dean enough to get Dean where he needed to be.

Dean moaned and gave into the kiss, letting Cas take control and map out Dean's mouth with his tongue. This was so many of the things that Dean had wished for in the past few months and he could barely believe it was happening, half his mind believing that Cas had knocked him into a coma earlier and he was dreaming this. Cas ran his hand through Dean's hair, tightening his grip and forcing Dean back into the moment.

"This is not a dream, Dean" Cas pulled back from kissing him, lips red and wet from kissing Dean and he had to admit that this most definitely did not feel like a dream.

"Good, now kiss me again" Cas stared at him, not moving closer and Dean realized his mistake. "Please kiss me again Cas?" Cas smiled, slow and lazy before doing what Dean had asked.

For a long while all they did was kiss, when Cas grew tired of that he moved his mouth down Dean's neck, finding a spot right under his earlobe that made Dean jerk at his bindings and groan loudly.

"Cas…more…please" Cas had reduced Dean to begging and little whimpers which was exactly what he wanted.

"More what, Dean?"

"Please…get rid of the clothes…" Dean squirmed under Cas, his arousal could be felt under Cas. He smiled down at Dean and with a negligent wave of a hand, he used a small bit of his Grace to remove their clothes suddenly. Dean gasped and arched up against Cas as far as he could with his legs secured, the feeling of warm skin against his was overwhelming.

"That's what you wanted Dean?" Cas asked and if he had been anyone other than Cas, Dean would have thought he was teasing him. Of course, he would have never thought of Cas doing anything like this either, the angel was full of surprises.

"Yes" he hissed through clenched teeth "but, please…more." Cas leaned down and nipped at Dean's shoulder before trailing his tongue down Dean's chest in a meandering path to his left nipple. He licked it, then sucked at it lightly. Dean arched up and moaned at that feeling and then whimpered and squirmed as Cas bit down lightly. Dean had reached the point where his begging no longer embarrassed him and he called out. "Dammit, Cas, I need more, just…please, please touch me more. "

Cas stretched out over Dean and kissed him hard on the mouth. He slowly moved down Dean, mouthing, biting and licking at anything that could possibly be an erogenous zone. Dean whimpered at every bite and suck that raised blood to the surface of his skin, marking him. Cas reached Dean's hipbones and bit down sharply, marking him with his teeth. Dean arched up off the bed as much as he could.

"Oh please, Cas…please!"

"Please what? What do you want me to do Dean?"

"Suck me! Ah, fuck me! Anything, just don't stop!" Dean's cries had grown in volume over the course of the night and Cas was thankful he had used his Grace to prevent anyone from hearing the sounds from this room.

"I would Dean, but that isn't something I can do if you are just going to leave me afterwards."

"Dammit Cas" he wailed "that's not fair! You can't blackmail me with sex."

"It's not blackmail, it's just truth. To an angel, sex is sacred" he paused in his speech to move back up and suck on Dean's neck, just enough to keep him interested in the proceedings. "If you were to leave me, to become Michael's vessel after we gave ourselves to each other it would break me."

"God, Cas, why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I wanted to show you what you could have if you stayed. Will you stay?" Dean's faced tensed in thought, the emotions that passed through his eyes took Cas' breath away; uncertainty, fear, responsibility, trust, and then he looked back at Cas with love in his eyes.

"Yes" he breathed out.

"Swear it to me; swear on the thing most precious to you that you will not give in to Michael." Castiel commanded him.

"I swear" Dean paused to think for a moment and then stared directly into Cas' eyes as he spoke "I swear on your life that I will not give in." Cas's eyes flashed in triumph and he kissed Dean hard on the mouth, tongue sweeping in and commanding him. When the kiss ended, Dean looked at Cas and spoke up "Now can we get down to finishing this?" He looked down to where both he and the angel were straining in arousal.

"Yes, I believe we can."

"Now that I've sworn not to leave will you untie me?" Cas graced Dean with a smirk so lascivious that Dean was certain he must have learned it from him and in any other situation he would have been proud, now it just made him nervous.

"No, I believe I like you tied down." Dean groaned and Cas moved back down Dean's body, leaving little kisses and nips once more. Cas stopped at Dean's belly button, dipping his tongue into it and biting at the surrounding skin till Dean was more worked up than he could ever remember being. Cas finally moved on, to the one place he had ignored all night, and he looked up at Dean through his eyelashes as he sucked in the head of Dean's cock and ran his tongue around the head. Dean arched up and moaned loudly, his body shaking at the pleasure. He could no longer remember why he had thought leaving had been a good idea, his brain shutting off anything that wasn't strictly necessary for his body to function.

Cas reached over the edge of the bed, snagging his suit coat and rummaging through the pocket for a tube of lube while he distracted Dean with his mouth. Soon two of his fingers were coated in the thick liquid and had moved to teasing Dean's entrance. Dean arched again and looked down at Cas with a questioning look, but a hard suck from Cas had him collapsing back on the pillows with his eyes shut. Cas took his time stretching Dean, backing off of his cock whenever Dean got to close to orgasm and finally Dean was begging.

"Fuck me, please, oh please, just do it Cas" he was nearly weeping with the need to come. Cas slicked himself up and moved forward to press into Dean's body, kissing him as he entered. Dean whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut at the slight burn he felt, but when Cas was fully seated he paused, waiting for Dean to adjust. Seconds later Dean was arching up.

"Move Cas!" Castiel allowed him to get away with the commanding tone only because he was getting a bit desperate as well. His thrusts were slow at first, and then as Dean thrust back as much as he could his movements became far less smooth. They moved with each in an extremely un-poetic mess of arms, legs and sweat. Dean was gasping out little sounds and words like 'please', 'oh yes', 'more', 'harder' and the occasional 'love you' which he would probably never admit to later. Cas breathed out little endearments into Dean's ear. Dean arched up violently and then shouted.

"Cas, please! Get rid of the ropes, I need…I need to touch you." Cas concentrated, slowing his movements as he banished the ropes. Deans arms wrapped around Cas and moments later Dean cried out in pleasure as he came, Cas was close behind him, gasping in silent pleasure.

Cas collapsed next to Dean after pulling out of Dean carefully, Dean hissed in discomfort, but otherwise seemed happy and sated when Cas wrapped an arm tightly around his torso and kissed him on the neck.

"I'm not going to make a break for it Cas, you don't have to hold on to me." Dean said, turning to look into Cas' eyes.

"I know, I simply like feeling you next to me." That was as close to a real declaration of love as they had said all night, bar the ones said in the heat of sex, which never counted in Dean's mind, but it was honestly more than enough for Dean to hear. He relaxed into Cas' hold and fell into sleep, exhausted from the physically and emotionally taxing few days he had just had. Cas closed his eyes, head tucked against Dean's neck and slept as well.

For now they had no regrets, no thoughts of Heaven or Hell or Vessels. The doubts would come again no doubt, but when they did Cas wouldn't worry because Dean had sworn and when he swore he would do something he would go to hell and back to keep those promises.