Disclaimer: I do not won the Ace Attorney Series or any of its characters. All elements belong to Capcom.
Notes: Haven't done a straight up romance story in a while so I thought I'd write this. Just going to keep cranking out the one shots. See kids, this is what I do when I'm supposed to be working on an important 20 page paper.
A Whole Lot Better
Phoenix cracked his shoulders and let out a tired sigh. The sun was shining brightly, almost making the office glow as it poured in through his open window. He could hear the hustle and bustle in the streets below and wished to God he was out there too. It was always so boring in the office when Maya wasn't around. No T.V going, no sounds of munching or chewing, no 'You done yet Nicks', no distractions of any kind. But, it was her day off and he remembered her saying something about having a date. Phoenix chuckled smugly to himself.
"Whoever this guy is, I hope he brought enough to pay for plenty of burgers." Turning back to his paperwork, he sighed again. "Huhh, it should be against the law to have to do this on such a nice day." He had already been at it for hours and his eyes were starting to lose focus. After filling out his latest one, he took it and placed it on the completed pile, he was overjoyed when he came to the realisation that it was the last one there. "Thank God!" He said happily. "Much more and I probably would have stabbed myself with this pen." He jumped to his feet, stretched and went over to the window. "I wonder what Pearls is going to say when she finds out Maya's got a boyfriend that isn't me. I doubt she'll be too happy, well at least this time Maya'll be the one she chews out instead of me." Phoenix laughed to himself, but the truth was, he felt a little jealous, but that didn't matter. He was happy Maya was going out with someone she liked, after everything she's been through, she deserves it. Phoenix shook these idle thoughts from his mind and turned his attention to figuring out what he was going to do on this beautiful day. "Hmm, maybe I'll take a trip to the park for a few hours." He thought to himself. "Yeah, I'll make a little lunch for myself and take my bike. Might look a little weird eating by myself, but hey, sounds like a nice afternoon to me. Who knows, maybe some of Maya's luck rubbed off on me and I'll meet someone nice." He chuckled sadly. "Yeah, good luck with that Wright."
A few minutes later, Phoenix was in the kitchen spreading some mayonnaise on a slice of bread, making a couple of sandwiches for himself, suddenly he heard the door open and slam closed, it surprised him so much he nearly dropped his knife.
"Aww, nuts don't tell me; a client." He moaned to himself. Putting down his utensils and lamenting the loss of his day, Phoenix wiped off his hands and stepped out into the office. But there weren't any potential clients there, only Maya, standing in front of the door. "Maya, how come you're home, don't tell me your date's over already?" Phoenix laughed. "What did you do to mess it up? You didn't talk his ear off about the Steel Samurai did you?" he asked teasingly. Maya lifted her drooping head to look at him, she looked upset. "M-Maya did something go wrong?"
"I-I don't want to talk about it!" She said sadly, walking past him into the kitchen. She came back a few seconds later with a tub of chocolate ice cream and a spoon, sat on the couch and started shovelling the icy dessert into her mouth.
"W-well okay, I'll just…"
"That JERK!!" Maya shrieked, cutting him off.
"Th-that jerk! The whole time, from the minute he asked me out he was just trying to make some other girl jealous." She said, her mouth full of ice cream.
"What?" Phoenix asked in disbelief, sitting next to her.
"You heard me Nick!" she snapped. "I thought we were having fun, but it turns out that the other girl was following us the whole time and when we stopped to get something to eat, she came right up to us and told him she liked him. That was it then, he dumped me right there and went off with her."
"That's not the worst of it!" She continued. "Before he left he called me a 'hick weirdo hippie' and when he saw me in my 'hippie robes' when he picked me up he almost didn't even go through with it! He told me I should go back to the 'sticks' if I wanted to get a date, 'cause no one here in L.A is going to want me. Then he and his floozy went off laughing at me.
"W-wait a minute, weren't you wearing your robes when he asked you out to start with?!" Phoenix questioned, concerned.
"Y-yeah, but he said he thought I was just cosplaying, or that I worked at some kind of old-fashioned asian restaraunt or something. I was lucky I had enough change for the bus to get home." She sadly cast her eyes down into her ice cream tub, stirring its melting contents with her spoon. "And I thought he liked me." She muttered looking up to him with her big doe eyes. "Man am I dumb." That was unnecessary, making fun of Maya's robes and calling her a 'hick' was a mockery of her culture, her religion, her entire life. Who did this PUNK think he was? Phoenix was angry, but making Maya feel better was what mattered now.
"You're not dumb Maya." He began, placing his hand on her head. "You're a fun, vibrant young woman and if he couldn't see that he's the dumb one." He smiled and placed a comforting kiss on the her forehead.
"N-Nick." Maya stammered. "You mean that?" Phoenix nodded.
"Thanks Nick." She squeaked, brightening. "Hey, I saw some sandwich stuff on the counter when I was in the kitchen. Could you make one for me? I never had any lunch yet you know."
"Oh yeah, I forgot, I was going to go to the park this afternoon and I was making a snack for myself." Maya's eyes lit up.
"A picnic at the park? Oh that sounds like so much fun, can I come too, please Nick?" She asked with her hands folded.
"I don't think a couple of sandwiches can be considered a 'picnic' but whatever." Phoenix thought to himself. "You don't even need to ask." He said smiling.
"Thanks, Nick, this is gonna be fun."
"Well." Phoenix thought as Maya put her arms around his neck in an appreciative hug. "There go my plans for meeting someone."
They were at the park a little while later. Even though they only had five sandwiches, a bottle of pop and a few candy bars for good measure; Maya had insisted they bring a blanket so they could sit on the grass while they were eating. Which he was carrying under his arm. The park was alive today, with children, pets and couples. They spent some time looking for a place to sit when they decided on a spot close to the lake. After spreading the blanket, Phoenix took a deep breath of the fresh, cool air coming from the surface of the water.
"It's days like this.." he said dreamily. Maya was already sitting and had the bag of food they brought open and was eating. "It's a wonder you lasted this long." He teased.
"Quiet Nick, you know me and food." She replied, chewing on a sandwich.
"Any good?" He asked sitting beside her. Maya nodded.
"Not as good as a burger, but it'll do." She chirped. "Oh hey Nick, look!" She pointed towards the lake where a mother duck was leading her ducklings into the water. After wading around for a couple of seconds, the mother dipped her head beneath the water. Maya giggled.
"What's so funny?"
"I dunno, I always thought it was cute the way ducks do that. You know put their heads down and stick their backsides in the air when they're looking for food." Phoenix laughed, Maya slapped him in the arm. "Oh come on Nick, don't you dare tell me you don't think it's cute."
"Y-yeah, I guess it is kinda cute." He replied, sighing. The stuff that went on in that head of hers. There were a few more ducks gathering around the edge of the lake and some were coming pretty close to them. "Looking for scraps I guess. Wanna feed them?" he asked, looking to her.
"Sure, that would be fun, but we only got what we brought for our picnic."
"There's a stand over by the swings that sells buns of bread for this very reason. I'll go get one." Phoenix smiled.
"Okay." Maya nodded. Phoenix stood, brushed himself and made his way over to the stand. He was glad Maya was over what happened, he didn't expect her to be down in the dumps for long; that just wasn't who she was. He bought the bread and turned back. As he approached the lake again he saw that Maya was standing, her back was turned to him and she was talking to two people, a man and a woman. The guy looked exactly like the one Maya went out with today, she had described him to him on the way to the park, while she was still feeling down. He was still too far away to hear what they were saying, but judging from Maya's body language, it wasn't a friendly conversation. This jerk, where did her get off, all that stuff he said to her before, so what now, rubbing it in of something. That's when Phoenix got an idea. He rolled up the sleeves of his t-shirt and stood as straight as he could, sticking his chest out, trying to maximise the effect of his already impressive physique.
"About time I put this hugeness to work." He thought to himself.
"Why don't you just leave me alone." Maya said, she sounded so sad again.
"Hey babe." He called out. "I got the bread." He put his arms around her from behind.
"N-Nick?" She looked up at him in surprise. He bent down close to her ear.
"Go with it." He whispered before kissing her cheek. He raised his head to look at the jerk in question, the scrawny little guy looked surprised and a little frightened, especially when the muscle bound attorney glared at him. "Hey, who'se this clown?" He asked derisively. Maya was blushing terribly.
"…Going" he interrupted, clearly agitated. With a slight shaking in his hand, he put his arm around his girl and they left. When they were out of sight, Phoenix removed his arms from Maya and sighed before plunking back down on the blanket. He looked up at her and smiled. "Think we showed him?"
"Thanks Nick." Maya smiled.
"Yeah yeah, I figured once he got a look at these guns," He lifted up his arms into a Hulk Hogan-style flex. "he wouldn't be too keen on making fun of you anymore."
"Ya mistah 'Attorney-nator'" Maya said in her best fake Austrian accent the evidence of her blushing still on her cheeks. "That's your new nickname now Nick." They both laughed.
A few hours later the sun was starting to go down and a colder wind was blowing, there were far fewer people in the park and Phoenix had decided to call it a day. Maya had spent a good deal of time feeding the ducks, and she looked happy, but she hadn't said much since he drove off the jerk, almost like she was thinking about something.
"Well, let's head back." He said, rolling up the blanket. Maya unwrapped the last candy bar.
"He-hey Nick." Maya said as they walked.
"Thanks again. For today, for everything."
"Don't mention it." He grinned. "I don't know what you ever saw in him anyway, you could do so much better."
"Y-y-yeah." Maya stammered. She looked down at her feet as they walked, quietly munching on her bar. "L-Like maybe you Nick?"
"Heh, good one Maya. No I don't think you could do that good. I mean, the guns." Phoenix joked lifting his arms again. Maya's head quickly turned upwards to look at him, her cheeks were very red and she looked annoyed.
"I'm being serious Nick!"
"Y-you are?" Phoenix stammered stupidly, nearly dropping the blanket.
"I-I liked it when you had your arms around me and kissed me. I liked it when you were acting all protective and jealous over me like a boyfriend would." She was looking back at her feet again.
"B-but Maya, we hug and kiss each other all the time, and I'm always trying to protect you, so what makes today any different?" Maya shook her head.
"I-I don't know. B-But Nick, I had a crush on you ever since you got me acquitted of killing sis, a-and sometimes I don't know, sometimes I feel something between us. God it-it sounds corny and I don't know if you feel it too but I do, you know. I felt it again today." He noticed tears forming in her eyes, she was pouring her heart out.
"W-why did-didn't you tell me?" Maya shrugged and wiped away a tear with her sleeve.
"I-thought it was just a stupid crush and it would go away after awhile, and I never thought in a million years you'd ever like me. Besides we-we're best friends, and the age thing…" She blurted. "I don't think I really liked that guy in the first place, I just convinced myself I did 'cause I knew I couldn't have you." She took a deep breath trying to calm herself, Phoenix walked a few steps ahead of her. "Ni-Nick, a-aren't you gonna say something?" He looked up into the sky, which the setting sun had lit on fire with purples and oranges.
"It's a really nice night. I don't want to go home yet. What do you say you and I go catch movie and go grab dinner?" he asked, smiling over his shoulder.
"Ni-Nick a-are you ask-asking me on a date?" Maya gasped. Phoenix nodded. He lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eye. Then he leaned forward and kissed her, for the first time, on the lips.
"You know Maya, I was hoping I'd meet someone nice here today. Guess I did." He smiled. Maya's eyes lit up as she threw her arms around Phoenix's neck and crushed her petite frame up against his. He completed the embrace, and then, they left the park, hand-in-hand.
Seriously, how many Phoenix/Maya fics out there reference BOTH Hulk Hogan and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Edgeworth versus the Satyrs
Characters: Miles Edgeworth
Note: In ancient Greek drama, plays came in trilogies, with every trilogy being accompanied by a comedic 'Satyr Play' where the chorus was made up of satyrs, much like that Omake stuff, but Greek and with goatmen. This is a 'Satyr Story' that follows in line with my dream series, enjoy!
Miles Edgeworth was out shopping for a new cravat, his had become slightly dusty and one cannot be expected to prosecute effectively wearing a dusty cravat. He stepped inside a high scale men's boutique, a place where he did much of his clothes shopping. Oddly enough there were no people inside. Just these hideous man-goat abominations that were all muttering some foolishness about getting back to Dionysus. It mattered not to Edgeworth, who went up to the nearest counter.
"Hello." He began with his usual elegance. "I am looking for a new cravat, much like this one preferably." He lifted the one currently around his neck to the goatman behind the counter. "Would you be so kind as to fetch me one?" The goatman grunted something inaudible before going into the backroom. He came back minutes later holding a very elegant looking box with the logo of a high end men's fashion dealer printed on it. The goatman grunted again before handing the box to Edgeworth, who opened it up with excitement, that excitement however, was soon replaced by anger. "You fool!!" He shouted. "This-this is no cravat, it's an AFGHAN!!"
"And that is why I killed everyone in the store your honour." Edgeworth said calmly as he stood upon the witness stand. Wright, the idiot, was sweating bullets from the defense table.
"Y-you killed all those people because a cashier confused an afghan for a cravat?!" He stammered in disbelief.
"I need to look my best Wright, of course, I do not expect someone like you to understand that. Am I right ladies?" The courtroom was filled with a gallery of all the women he ever met, swooning for him, including, to his eternal satisfaction, Wright's beloved Fey sisters.
"You tell 'em Edgey." One of them shouted.
"We love you Edgey!" Said another.
"You're the king of prosecutors!" Edgeworth soaked up their adulation.
"This court agrees with Mr. Edgeworth, he is hereby cleared of all charges!" The judge announced, pounding his gavel. Some confetti fell from the ceiling as the mob of women rushed the witness stand, picking the conquering hero up in triumph and carrying him from the courtroom. A chant of 'Hail Edgey' coming from them all the way.
Edgeworth shot up, he removed his silk sleeping blindfold to find himself secure in his covered bed. He let out a loud sigh before falling backwards unto his satin pillow.
"What a nice dream." He muttered.