THIS IS MY FIRST ONE-SHOT. PLEASE ENJOY AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN ANYTHING
Edward sat on the hard, white, plastic chair, watching his Bella sleep on the hard, white, papery, hospital bed. He couldn't help the feeling of anguish that washed over him whenever he looked at her. Bella's body was frailer than usual and her skin held a sickly, pale, yellowish tint. From Carlisle's thoughts, Edward knew that most patients looked like that just before they passed away.
Edward's heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces as he stood up and crossed the room to kneel at Bella's side. He wanted to kiss her soft, perfect lips. He wanted to stroke her smooth, light pink cheeks. But he couldn't. Bella was terribly ill. She had a ventilation mask that covered the two-thirds of her face.
Edward listened to the oxygen forcing its way into Bella's lungs. Carlisle had told Edward what kind of disease Bella had, but right now, Edward couldn't care less. He just wanted to keep Bella alive. Edward had been so desperate when she first had to go to the hospital that he had done so much research his head hurt.
After finding out that there was no cure, Edward had turned to religion. He tried praying in every religion but Bella's health just kept on deteriorating. Finally, Edward had given up. He simply spent every second he could with Bella. He wanted to make her last days as happy as possible, even though his heart bled as he thought of a life without her.
Edward leaned over and kissed Bella's forehead softly. "I love you." He murmured. Edward's fingers ghosted over the mask and rested above Bella's lips. He wanted nothing more that to rip the mask off and kiss her. But he couldn't. Not without ending his love's life.
Bella's eyelids flickered open and she looked at Edward with so much love that he felt like his heart would burst. Bella took one of Edward's hands in hers and wrote on his palm. I love you.
The gesture was so simple but Edward wanted to cry. He wanted to hear Bella say it but he knew she couldn't. "My darling. My love." He whispered and kissed her hands.
Bella smiled and took his hand, pressing it over her heart. Edward let her hold it there as he felt the slow, weak drumming of her heart. She was going to pass away soon. That thought plagued Edward and for the first time in his life, he wished he could turn Bella into a vampire.
Edward got up and slid next to Bella on the bed. He cradled her gently in his arms, savoring her warmth. She looked up and smiled at him, seemingly glowing in his embrace. Edward showered the exposed skin of her face with kisses. "I love you. I love you." He said over and over, unable to convey his need and passion for her with words.
Bella nodded at his words, indicating that she agreed and understood him. Then, she lifted a hand to his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb. Edward smiled down at her and kissed her palm. Bella pulled away shyly. Edward laughed and nuzzled her. Bella's body shook with silent laughed and held up her hands in surrender. Edward kissed both palms and then held her again.
After a while, Bella stroked Edward's arm to get his attention. He focused on her and she made the hand motion of writing. Edward nodded and got up to find Bella a piece of paper and a pencil. When he gave her those items, Bella tilted her head to one side and started writing. When she was done, she read it over and then handed it to Edward.
Edward's eyes scanned the paper quickly and then handed it back.
Edward, you know that I love you, right?
Edward nodded "I know, my darling."
Alice told me that you plan to kill yourself after I die. I don't want you to die, Edward… Bella's eyes filled with tears as she handed Edward the paper again.
Edward sighed. He wiped away the tears, kissing her forehead. "Bella, I can't live without you. You are my life, my love, my everything. You don't understand, Bella, living without you is like living without a purpose." He attempted to explain but he knew Bella wouldn't understand.
Bella took the paper back and wrote hastily. Edward, I know that. But you shouldn't end your life just because I'm not there. Just because I'm dying so young doesn't mean you have to.
Edward had been reading over Bella's shoulder and he interrupted. "Bella, I look young, but I'm not. I'm over a hundred years old."
Bella shook her head furiously and went back to writing. I know that, Edward. But you have a chance to see so many things. You can stay alive for such a long time and travel around the world and experience so much. Edward opened his mouth to say something but Bella held up a hand to stop him. I'm never going to get to go anywhere or see anything exotic. Edward, will you please do it for me? Live. Travel around the world and experience new things. Stay alive and happy so that when it's your time to die, you can come to me in heaven and describe everything that I missed. Bella looked up at Edward with large, clear eyes.
"Bella…" Edward said softly. He didn't want to argue with her. He didn't want to ruin these last few days.
Please, Edward. This is my dying wish. Bella wrote and handed Edward the paper.
Edward read everything on the paper over and over, his heart breaking every time she said that her last wish was for him to stay alive even after she died. Edward sighed. "For you, Bella. Only for you."
Bella smiled. Thank you, Edward. I want you to be alive and happy. Your time to die will come, but please don't try to make it sooner than it needs to be. She held his face with her hands again and Edward closed his eyes. His throat tightened and he couldn't say anything.
Eventually, Edward looked up and nodded. "Anything for you."
Bella smiled. She lifted off the mask and pressed her lips against Edward's. Edward felt a moment of panic as he pulled himself away and quickly replaced the mask. "Love, please. Don't do this. I need these moments with you. Don't end your life prematurely just because you want to kiss me."
Bella beamed at him and grabbed the paper again. I'd like to die kissing you. She wrote playfully.
Edward felt a weight settle on his chest. "I don't want to be the reason you die, Bella. I want you to live." He reached out and took Bella's hands, placing them over his heart. "You have my heart, Bella. You have my soul. Don't hurt me more than you have to, please." His eyes held immeasurable sadness.
Bella's playful demeanor changed to become more somber. Sorry. She wrote on his chest and pulled him to her so that his face rested against her neck.
"Bella." Edward kissed her neck softly, wanted to tell her that she was the world to him, but knowing that he would never be able to find the right words.
Edward stayed with Bella every second of her remaining time alive. Bella would smile or touch Edward and he would feel like heaven was shining down on him. She would sleep, and Edward would feel a loneliness settle over his heart when he realized that she couldn't sleep talk through the mask.
Edward sat on the edge of Bella's bed and held her to him as she died. Edward heard her heartbeat slow to a calm, peaceful stop. He forced himself to let her go as the nurses and Carlisle rushed into the room. He grieved silently for her for the rest of his life.
Bella had asked to be cremated so when she died, her ashes were split into three parts. One for Renee, one for Charlie, and one for Edward. Edward always carried Bella's ashes in a clear, crystal pendent that he wore around his neck.
He went through high school five more times and every time he would step into a class or sit in his car, his hand would automatically fly up to the pendent. He could almost feel Bella's presence around him and sometimes, he could smell her scent from the ashes.
Edward took 50 years to finally start traveling around the world like Bella had asked him to. He took some trips with his family but always ended up wandering off alone. He would take long walks in parks or forests and imagine that he was finding a place for him and Bella to spend the evening. Whenever he found the perfect spot, he would lie down and start talking. He would speak to Bella, telling her everything that he'd done throughout the day. He'd tell her that he missed her and he'd tell her what Alice had worn that day and who had won the chess game between Jasper and Carlisle. Sometimes, when a spot felt especially nice, Edward would take some of Bella's ashes in his palm and blow them into the air, letting them fly free. He'd inhale deeply, smelling her scent and knowing she was happy that he was slowly letting her go.
Though Edward was good at looking content, it was a struggle to survive. Holidays were especially hard. When Edward was out buying gifts for everyone, he found himself looking at items for Bella. He found the perfect bracelet in Paris and the most beautiful ring in India. Edward sighed as he ran his finger over the jewelry. Bella would have loved them, he knew.
On most holidays, Edward spent a ridiculously long time just lying on the grass, thinking of how life would have been with Bella. He had gone out of his way to learn every language he could. He could now speak to almost anyone in the world fluently. Eventually, Edward found that it was easier to deal with his loneliness if he gave in. He'd let himself sit alone on a park bench and watch kids. Or walk through forests and finger the leaves.
Edward lived for another 200 hundred years before his death day came. He was walking in the forest alone, for perhaps the millionth time, when he smelled werewolves. Instead of feeling fear and becoming defensive, Edward felt his body relax; he was ready to die.
The wolves surrounded him and growled. Edward stood still and smiled. "You wish to kill me?" He asked, even though he could read their thoughts.
The wolves phased into human form. "You crossed the boundary line." One of the wolves growled.
"Boundary line?" Edward frowned. "That's 60 miles away."
"It used to be, 200 years ago. But it isn't anymore." The wolf said, narrowing his eyes.
"Oh." Edward deliberated for a moment and then gave the wolf a calm smile again. "Well, if you are going to kill me, can I chose my method of death, please?" He asked politely.
The wolf narrowed his eyes further. "That depends on your method of death…"
Edward felt his body relax father in relief. "I wish to be burned." He told them.
"Burned?" The wolf stepped back in surprise.
Edward nodded and sat down. "I'll wait here for you guys to get wood. Oh, here is my lighter." Edward pulled a lighter out of his pocket and held it out to the wolf.
The wolf hesitantly took it. "Why do you want to be burned?" He asked suspiciously.
Edward's smile turned sad. "I have no reason to live. I've been wandering around for the past 200 hundred years without cause. I'm ready to die. My mate was cremated at death; I want to die the same way."
The wolf was surprised again. Then he recovered. "We don't want to kill you. You haven't given us a real reason to do so yet. Go." The pack parted and formed a semi-circle, allowing Edward to go if he wanted to.
Edward shook his head. "I'm ready to die. Please, kill me. You'll be doing me a favor."
The wolves frowned, debating. Just then, the rest of the Cullens showed up.
"Edward!" Alice screamed.
"Get away from him." Emmett snarled and lounged at the nearest wolf.
Edward shot off the ground and restrained Emmett. "Stop. They aren't doing anything." Edward struggled to push Emmett back.
"Edward. Why are you here?" Carlisle asked sadly. Edward could tell that Carlisle knew it was time to say goodbye.
"I'm done living. I've seen everything there is to see. I've done everything there is to do. I've fulfilled Bella's wish. I'm ready to leave this world." Edward explained.
Emmett stopped struggling and Edward enveloped him in a hug. "Emmett, thank you for everything. You've been an amazing, fun brother and I hope you and Rosalie live for a very long time and enjoy every minute of it." Edward gave Emmett a sad smile and then moved on to saying goodbye to everyone else.
When he was done, Edward turned back to the wolves. "I'm ready whenever you are." He said and sat back down on the grass. The wolves nodded and phased back to get some wood.
"Edward, please, don't do this." Alice begged.
Edward smiled at her. "My time has come, Alice. I want to die this way. I want to die knowing that all of you are happy and safe and that you know I have enjoyed living with you and that you are all very dear to me. Please smile. I don't want my last memory of you to be sad."
Alice chocked back a sob and gave him a watery smile. Edward smiled back sadly. "We are ready." A wolf said.
Edward got up and turned to the flame. The heat pulsed against his skin and he welcomed the pain. Edward stepped into the fire and watched it lick up his body. Instead of screaming, Edward turned to his family and said goodbye once more, smiling.
The Cullens and wolves watched the fire consume Edward. When he was fully burnt, a breeze came and picked up his ashes, carrying them away to heaven. All that was left behind was Edward's smell and a light undertone of freesia. Bella and Edward were finally together.
HOW WAS THAT? NOT AS ANGSTY AS MY OTHER STORY, I THINK. REVIEW, PLEASE. I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THINK :)