Hello!! :) The name's Dante and you are reading my first ever online fanfiction! Go ahead and disclaim now. I DO NOT OWN Naruto OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS IN THIS…for now. :D Mwahahaha
Also, the probably incorrect lyrics are to Trapt's song Black Rose. Anyone who knows the proper words, please tell me, I am slightly hearing impaired and don't always understand words in songs because of the music. XP
I would also like to say that all views in this are entirely my own. Meaning, yes, angsty references and feelings are completely original.
And, NO I DO NOT NEED THERAPY!!!!!! ):
Oh, and warning!!!! There IS SEX in later chapters…gay sex….might be because I am gay, but that seems to avoid some people completely and I don't want wasted reviews. So, please no homophobic hating, or I will track you down and kill you. I will burn your house and then shave your cat. I will steal your dog. Then I will drown your goldfish. D: *cough* I mean, I will politely ask you never to review any of my stories again… _ _ ^_^;
But I am a very nice person, so please don't hesitate to tell me your dislikes with any of my stories, please! XD
~I just want all of this burning hate to be extinguished, all this inner pain to be numbed…is that too much for a person to ask?~
I'm not the one who hurt you
So why are you so scared?
All that you've been put through
You don't believe we care
I'm not the one who hurt you
I'm the only one who cared
You need someone to turn to
Know that I'll be there
Every time I held you
I knew that it would hurt
Only through the pain
I could find a way to love
~Just make it all stop.~
I gasped, biting my lower lip to muffle the sound. I clutched the razor blade in my trembling fingers, releasing air through my nose. No one would hear though. Even if my music wasn't playing, no one cared enough to check to see why I was making pained noises in the dark confines of my bedroom. No one wanted to check to see why the only child in the household would sob quietly to himself, his parents ignoring his very existence unless he was bringing them attention.
Queasily, I watched the crimson stream down my wrist, dripping onto the black sheets I favored. Strangely, my mouth watered at the sight, beaconing me to lick the blood. Knowing I would regret it, my lips brushing a stubbornly clinging drop. Feeling the thick warm liquid spread, I attached my lips around the deep self inflicted wounds. I shuddered as the salty, almost sickeningly wine-like liquid passed over my tongue and trickled down my throat.
I unknowingly moaned, my eyes opening in shock when I realized I had done it. I let my arm fall as I clutched my head in disgust.
I hate cutting. Honestly I do. But even if I do suffer from a low pain tolerance and slow healing body, biting, merciless pain is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy. I have friends, yeah. I have amazing artistic and singing talent. Everyone thinks my family's the coolest, but in the end it was all a complete and utter lie.
My parents hate me. I was their second child and their one mistake. I cost money, and hell, half the time I got the sick feeling in my gut the man I was living with wasn't even my father. How could I when I was the one child not to look like him? At least my brother has his and my mother's red hair. But no, I'm a fucking blue eyed blonde. My brother ends up being a world famous kendo fighter and their younger son can do nothing but draw.
I can handle it. I'm pretty popular at school, doing manga, abstract, and still life for money. It pays for my art supplies and knick-knacks that I want, so I manage. I'm saving up for a trip to the hair salon actually. See if my parents can ignore me if I walk in the house with black hair that's chemically straitened.
And friends? Please. My one real friend isn't even here. She was the closest thing to an older sister, someone I could lean on, and my parents want to move us from Germany to Shibuya for my brother's career. And as if a few thousand miles difference wasn't bad enough, my parents have to be all about no long distance phone calls. And my mom comes in talking about how Silecene's grandmother had called saying her and her family had died in a house fire. As if I'd buy that shit.
I wrapped the edge of the sheet around my wrist to stop the bleeding. My saliva had it burning like hell and there were tears in the corners of my eyes. I was going to have to wear my wrist band just to be on the safe side. My parents may not pay attention to me but the teacher's at school sure as hell do.
"Naruto! Get down here! Your brother's here and we're having dinner!" my mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I groaned. Of course. Gaara was home.
"COMING!!" I yelled back, letting just a little spite leak out into my voice. The only reason they bothered was because Gaara actually cared. Rushing out of my room into the bathroom I rinsed my wrist under lukewarm water, rummaging in the medicine cabinet for the bandages.
"Yo! Naruto, you okay in there? Mom called you down five minutes ago," Gaara said through the door.
"I'm fine, big brother! I've just got another head ache," I responded breathlessly. He'd scared me shitless.
"Have you told Mom about those?" He sounded slightly put off; as if he was actually in shock I didn't tell our endearing alcoholic mother about my chronic migraines. "You really should see a doctor about that, you know."
"I'll be just fine Aniki," I said, attempting to sound amused. Now I was stalling. I quickly finished applying the cotton gauze before pulling down my black long sleeve. I opened the door to be greeted by my older, more muscular red headed older brother, who looked at me with skeptical sea green eyes. I was glad he'd ditched the eyeliner and grown his hair out. It made him look less serious, which was the calculating, secretly loud-mouthed, and overly caring Gaara that only I knew.
"See?" I asked, grinning widely. "Just a headache." He looked me over once more before breaking a loose grin of his own.
"Kid, you keep getting weirder and weirder. Come on, we better get down stairs before—"
"BOYS, GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!!" Our Mother's screech echoed the hall for an eerie second before the click of her heels could be heard walking to the front door.
"Too late," we both murmured as we followed her advice and went down stairs. Our parents stood by the door impatiently, proving it was going to be a strained evening.
"Hey Naruto-Kun. Naruto. Earth to Uzumaki. YO MAN, LOOK AT ME!!!"
I pulled my eyes away from the window to gaze wide eyed at a scowling brunette. He had a crumpled sheet of paper in his hand that I recognized as last night's homework. "Dude, do you know the answer to number seven?" he whispered as the bell rang.
I looked at him uncomprehending for a second before pulling out my own homework. "Um, Kiba, I didn't even do it…" I whispered back as the teacher entered the classroom. The Inuzuka groaned as he sat back.
"Shit, I'm so failing this class."
"That's what you get for playing video games when you should be trying to get your grades up," Shino hissed from behind us, his Transition© glasses fading.
Kiba flicked him off as the teacher asked all papers to be passed to the front. "Fuck you, man."
I blocked out the rest of the period until the bell rang for second, in which I got up grunting, ignoring Kiba ranting on about unfair amounts of homework.
I trudged to my locker, taking out my sketchbook and my penciling and inking supplies and decided to go sit on the roof for my free block. That was until…
"Uzumaki. You don't have a class this block right?" I turned around to see lavender contacts and a wry smile. "Because if you don't, that $20 you owe me is null and void if you do me a job."
I groaned for good measure as I hid myself behind my sketchbook. "Neji-kun, do I have to?" I whined.
"Look, I don't feel like doing this for the student council! I need a break. It's easy and won't even take up the whole period, so just do it," he chided.
Sighing arrogantly, I put my sketchbook in my bag. "Fine...what's the job? I might do it. But I absolutely refuse to grade papers!" I said. I was not in the mood for reading thirty different people's hand writing.
Neji smiled widely, opening a folder he was holding. "Good, cuz' this new guy needs to be shown the ropes."
My eyes fell on raven hair that I hadn't noticed earlier. His bangs hung past his chin, framing a pale face that seemed void of emotion. Like he didn't have the ability to smile. Great.
"Awww, come on, anything but that."
"I'm fine on my own."
Both me and Neji looked at the guy.
"Tsk. What is that, an American accent?" I mumbled softly before raising my voice, speaking English. "Your Japanese's choppy; you're pronouncing the syllables wrong."
"Like you have room to talk," Neji snickered under his breath. I threw him a scathing look that he brushed off with a shrug. He walked up to me, whispering in my ear, "This guy is Japanese. Apparently his parents moved to California and never bothered to teach him their native language until they moved to Poland. Then they moved here two months later. He can barely speak a word, but he understands well enough. And my English's pretty bad, that's why I'm letting you take over."
I dared a glance at the raven again, who in turn scowled at not knowing whether or not we were talking about him. "So does non-lingual have a name?" I asked in a hushed voice.
"Hn." The bell rang for class to begin, making any stragglers in the hallway rush by. Sasuke was looking out the window, slightly vacant expression on his face. He almost looked like he was lost. And for some reason…that bothered me. Almost scared me. I saw those black eyes following the movement of a freed cherry blossom dancing in the teasing wind outside and it mesmerized me…he wasn't any different from…
I saw you in the garden
I wanted you so much
I really thought that you were different
Oh, I couldn't get enough
I tried to save you from yourself
To feel every high and low
But the lows dulled the highs away
Now there's no where else to go!
Your thorns are cutting into me
For the last time
I watched your petals wilt away…
I couldn't bring you back to life
"Alright," I said softly. I looked at Neji, breaking one of my most misleading grins. "I'll show him around. But you so owe me." He snorted as I laughed, adjusting the strap of my bag.
"I just better not regret this," I yelled after him as he walked down the hall, still reading his damned folder. I said that for my own sake as well as his. I turned to the raven, who was now eying me with something that could almost be considered inquisitiveness…if those onyx eyes didn't look so dead.
Excellent mask he's wearing, I thought with a smirk.
"So, new to Shibuya, huh?" I asked him, remembering to speak English. I put out my hand, nodding. "Naruto Uzumaki."
He continued to silently stare at me until I felt awkward, dropping my arm to my side and clenching my fist. So much for conversation. "Let me see your schedule. I'll show you where all your classes are," I said. When he didn't even respond, I sighed in frustration, running a hand through my tenaciously spiky hair. This guy was either stupid, brain dead or was having a really hard time comprehending the words coming out of my mouth. So, I did the only advisable thing. I turned to leave.
"Wha?" I turned around to see a dry smirk on his face. "And how the hell you figure that?" I asked haughtily. This guy sure was confusing the hell outta me.
"The hair. Your eyes. And your accents heavy. It screams European." Well, wasn't someone smart?
I furrowed my brow at his short response. I couldn't stand the silent type. "What? You want a cookie for figuring it out?" Two minutes alone with him and I was already getting pissed off.
That smirk slid off his face to be replaced by a thoughtful look. He reminded me of a baleful panther, contemplating whether or not to toy with its prey or kill it swiftly. I wanted to shiver under that gaze but I held the urge back to stare unflinchingly at him. To stand my ground.
He dropped his eyes first, and I relaxed as he went into his pocket to pull out a sheet of paper that was folded in fourths. He held it loosely and I took his class schedule out of his hand.
It was a start.
Wow, I'm shocked! I've never written that many pages that fast!! 'O' I'm proud of myself!! Honestly! Being on spring break may have something to do with it! XD Nothing like a break from annoying peers and drawling teachers to get the creativity flowing, huh?! :3 Well, I may finish another chapter or two before school let's back in so, okay!! :O I shall try!! PLEASE REVIEW!!! T-T I will love you forever if you just r&r!!