Me: Casual readers, reviewers, PM buddies, welcome to the behind the scenes cast and crew Q&A session! Man, you don't know how much of a pain in the ass that title is to write! Alright, LET'S DO THIS! *picks up papers with questions on them*
Why is Ed so short?
Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING A HALF-PINT BEANSPROUT WHO CAN'T EVEN REACH THE STEPS HE'S SO SMALL! ? ! *tries to get at question*
All: *hold him back*
Me: Well, you see, things are just so much more fun when he's short! Watch! *turns to Ed* Small.
Ed: *asplodes into tiny bits*
Me: HAHA! That just never gets old!
Al/Aang: Brother? Are you okay? Brother?
Can I have a hug from Ed?
Ed: No, you….
Me: *covers his mouth* Of course you can! Ed hugs for everyone!
Ed: *muffled angry yells*
Me: Don't worry. He won't struggle. *takes out cattle prod*
How did Sokka react the first time he saw Rush Valley?
Me: Something like this… *motions to scene behind me*
Sokka: *wide eyed and jaw dropped* The technology! The mechanics! The… The…!
Winry: The automail!
Sokka: YES! Show me! Show me it all! *starry eyes*
Winry: I'd love to!
Sokka and Winry: *skip off arm in arm*
Ed: I'm scared.
Random Mechanic: Hey, do you need…?
Random Mechanic: *walks away all sad-like*
What happened when GAang met the Central crew for the first time?
Me: I shall write it in a non-script format!
*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*
The GAang walked into the office at Central to see a woman holding a gun up to five other men, one of them being Roy Mustang. After a few awkward seconds, one of the men noticed them.
"Hey, the boss is back!"
Riza stood down and they made introductions.
"We've heard about you. I wish I could get my idiots to listen to me like you get your idiots to," said Katara. They looked over to the boys and Toph, who were already messing around with Aang's head. Breda was rubbing it with his sleeve as if he were polishing it, Fallman was looking at the arrow curiously, Furey was smiling, and Havoc was laughing along with Sokka, Toph, Roy, and Ed. Aang stood there, half laughing and blushing a little. He took a glance at the ladies. They laughed a little at the boys' and Toph's ridiculousness.
Suddenly, the door flew open and revealed a hulking, buff, sparkling man.
"Good day, my fellow soldiers!" he boomed.
"Hey, Major," Ed said. Major Alex Louis Armstrong's eyes widened upon seeing Ed.
"Edward Elric!" he exclaimed, flinging his shirt off and crushing Ed in a bear hug, "It is so good to see you home and in good spirits!"
"Help!" Ed wheezed.
"Hi, Major," Aang said. Armstrong paused his suffocation of Ed to see who had spoken. He noticed all the new people there.
"And who might you all be?" he asked, still not releasing Ed.
"It's Alphonse, Major," Aang said, smiling. Armstrong's eyes widened even more.
"ALPHONSE ELRIC!" He gave Aang the same treatment as Ed. "It is so very good to see you alive and in a human form!"
"Why is he crushing them with his shirt off?" Sokka asked.
"That's how the Major shows affection," Furey said, sweatdropping. By this time, Armstrong was bawling and Ed and Aang were turning blue.
"Alright, Major, I think they've had enough," said Roy. Armstrong put the Elrics down. They made introductions and Armstrong sparkled as he shook each one of their hands. Katara and Sokka seemed a little unsure of how to act around him, but Toph didn't seem to mind too much.
*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*
Me: Yup! So that's what happened. I loves Armstrong. XD
I remember how when you first started writing this story, Al and Aang WEREN'T the same person. So I'm wondering...what had you been planning on doing if you had left Al as a separate character?
Me: Hmm… Well, I had thought that Aang had gotten lost in Ed's world when he was little and stayed there for a while, or Ed had gotten lost in Aang's world and they'd talked about alchemy and bending and their families and all that good stuff and they were kind of like brothers and then Ed got back with alchemy. OR they both got lost in a different universe and Ed and Aang had been adopted by the same people and had somehow gotten home. And then other stuff would have happened, but I didn't think that far ahead.
And then I changed my mind. Cuz I'm the author and I can do that.
I… I feel so powerful! Hey can I….
Hiromu Arakawa: We've been over this!
Me: Y-yes my bovine sensei!
Elmarine, how many times have you failed in the past?
Elmarine: Who wants Dark Side cookies?
Me: Don't change the subject, Elm. Answer the question.
Elmarine: Do I have to? Can't we just talk about how awesome I am?
Ed and Roy: *eating popcorn, eagerly awaiting Elmarine's embarrassment*
Elmarine: I hate you all. I…I lost count…
Roy: *smirks* And why is that?
Elmarine: *glares* Because… because… Oh, do I really have to answer?
Me: Yup. *takes some of Ed and Roy's popcorn*
Elmarine: Grrrr… Fine! Because it's such a gigantically huge number! Are you happy?
Me, Ed, and Roy: *laughing at Elmarine's misery*
Katara, how does it feel to know your boyfriend is from an alternate dimension and used to be a blond?
Katara: I think it's really cool. I get to learn all about a completely different culture that no one else knows about and share in it. As for the hair, I really to like it when he has hair.
Al/Aang: You do?
Katara: *kisses him*
Al/Aang: *kisses her back*
Ed: Get a room.
Katara and Al/Aang: *back away and blush*
Ed, how did you beat the rancor and get back to everyone else? I want ze gory details!
Ed: Actually, it wasn't really a rancor…
Elmarine: Yeah! A real rancor looks like this! *points at rancor she's holding leash to*
Ed: Yeah! Like that! …Wait a minute…
Elmarine: Attack, my pet!
Rancor: *roars and attacks*
Me: Aw, shit, LUKE!
Luke Skywalker: *jumps in and saves the day with his totally awesome Jedi skillz*
Me: *grabs Elmarine's ear* No! No! Bad Elmarine! Bad! Back in The Vault *creepy music* for you, young lady! *throws her in* You were saying Ed?
Ed: Uhmm… well…
*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*
Elmarine's laughter rang in Ed's ears. He struggled to his feet and got into a fighting stance to face the oncoming hippo-dile. He barely avoided its enormous maw when it struck. He flipped through the air and transmuted his automail into a blade.
The hippo-dile crashed into the wall, but that hardly phased it. It just turned around and snarled at Ed. Ed held his arm-sword up, preparing himself for the next attack. He managed to avoid it the next few times by jumping around, but it finally caught his automail leg in its jaws. It shook Ed around and smashed him into the wall, knocking him out.
When he woke up a few seconds later, he saw that the jaws were just about to chomp down on him. He thought quickly and moved out of the way, allowing it to catch his automail arm. He stuck the blade through the roof of the hippo-dile's mouth. It roared in pain and pulled away.
Ed detached himself from the monster and ran as far away from it as he could, trying to find a way to get out. The hippo-dile didn't give him too long to do that, though. It stared him down, blood pouring from its mouth, and charged again. Ed jumped and tried to scrape its back, but the armored skin was too thick. Sparks danced off its back and its tail sung around. It smashed into Ed and sent him flying in the other direction.
Ed spat out some blood and struggled back to his feet. He had to be smarter if he was going to win. He remembered that crocodiles had softer skin on their underbellies. He hoped it was the same with this much larger and more powerful beast as it charged forward again. He slid underneath the jaws. He stabbed the hippo-dile in the neck and dragged the blade down the length of its belly as he slid.
The monster howled in agony and fell over. Blood and organs flowed from the wound; onto the ground and Ed. It writhed and howled for a while more, then twitched and breathed its last.
Ed sighed in relief and picked himself up. He wiped some of the excess blood off of himself and looked up from the hole he was in. With the hippo-dile dead, he had time to figure a way out of the it. He clapped his hands and transmuted notches into the side of the wall. He climbed up them and transmuted the bars off the top of the hole trough which Elmarine had been watching the battle.
He pulled himself out and onto the floor where he lied down, panting. Elmarine walked up and looked down at him curiously. Nuntius was draped across her shoulders wearing the same expression. Ed knew he was going to have to fight her, and did his best to muster up the energy to do so. She smiled widely and pointed at him. Here it comes…
"I am your father!" she declared. Ed raised an eyebrow.
"…Wha?" he questioned, thoroughly confused. She stood straight and clenched her fist in front of her.
"Join me and together we shall rule the galaxy as father and son!" she said. Ed lowered his eyelids. He understood now. The woman was absolutely nuts. He rolled over and pushed himself up off the floor.
"Yeah…I think I'll pass," he said, cracking his back.
"You cannot resist the power of the Dark Side!" she shouted at him, pointing again. Ed rolled his eyes.
"Okay, I'm leaving now," he said, motioning towards the door with his thumb. He left her laughing evilly to herself, lost in her own little world of Jedi and Sith.
*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*
Ed: …And that's about it. I still don't get what she was talking about, though.
Elmarine: *talking to Darth Vader over dinner* So, how are your plans for world domination going?
Me: NO! No! What did I just say? *grabs her ear* I'm getting really tired of this.
Darth Vader: *twiddles thumbs awkwardly*
Me: *jumps in vacant seat* Sorry to keep you waiting Darth! *leans forward with chin on hands* Sooooo… What do you want to talk about?
Darth Vader: *sweatdrops*
Ed: Ok. This is getting really weird. I'm leaving.
Al/Aang: The author would like me to let you know that she wants you to use your imagination in regards to the appearance of the hippo-dile since she is too busy flirting with Darth Vader.
End of Questions
Me: *notices readers* Huh? Oh, yeah. The end and stuff. *goes back to making goo-goo eyes at Darth Vader*
Luke Skywalker: *jumps in with lightsaber*
Darth Vader: *pulls out lightsaber and fights him*
Me: Oh, damnit. *turns to readers* Well, folks, that's the end! I want to thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews, PM conversations, and for simply sticking with this story until its end! A special thanks to FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom, fayfan, BakurasLover2011, archsage328, Hungary-senpai, and ArchShadow24 for their wonderful questions! This chappie wouldn't be possible without them! Goodbye everyone! Say goodbye, Ed! *notices he's not here* Aang, where's your brother?
Al/Aang: He said things were getting too weird for him, so he left.
Me: What? Things aren't weird around here!
Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader: *lightsaber fight still going on in background*
Me: Yup! Not weird at all!