The Cottage 'til Dawn-Chapter 6, The Hunt
Moment of honesty / Someone's got to take the lead tonight/ Who's it gonna be?/ I'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me /And if you have something to say, you should say it right now. Are you ready?
You give me a feeling that I never felt before / And I deserve it, I think I deserve it / It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore / And I can't take it / I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby / If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy / If you ask me, I'm ready
-Unthinkable, Alicia Keys
It wasn't supposed to be like this. The fates were supposed to decide. Or Edward was supposed to decide.
I wanted to answer him, but all I really felt like I could do in the 4350 milliseconds that remained was put all of my enormous mental capacity into remembering what it was like when Edward had me pressed to the floor - still inside of me - after giving me what felt like twenty orgasms all at once.
When I encountered a very different kind of Edward for the very first time…
When I encountered a very different kind of appetite for the very first time…
The scent of the deer was so strong in my memory that it was in my taste. And it burned my throat, exquisitely. The pain was almost ambrosial, a most appealing of aches. The ragged thirst suggested that warm, wet blood may be able to quench more than one my whetted urges.
"I'll just… come in." Edward's defeated tone shocked me back to present. He'd tried very hard to make his expression even, but his disappointment was not at all concealed.
"No… no, wait! Stay outside! I'm asking you to. I'm asking you to!"
"I didn't mean…. I just wanted you to choose, either way… Are you su- "
"I'm sure… I'm sure!" I nodded eagerly, a little flustered by the gravity of the moment.
Just then, the stopwatch went off.
"Time's up," we said softly in unison, allowing the remaining beeps to punctuate the statement.
"I win," I followed softly, still marveling at the implications of the concept.
A nervous, aroused smile wavered in the corner of Edward's mouth, afraid to stick. I bit my lip and smiled back, just as hesitantly, and just as excited.
"Bella, it's not too late to change your m- "
I raced to him. He was still standing at the start of our walkway. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him like a pretzel, silencing his tongue with my own.
This was no time for thinking. This was the time for instinct. This was the time for feeling. If I was going to do this, I would have to do what I'd asked Edward to do only a couple of hours earlier: let go, embrace my desires and trust that we were both up to this.
Our kisses were maddening and wet. Our sighs were a dancing, organic resonance, echoing off the cottage and the adjoining fence. It was such an incredible moment, heightened by the aliveness of the vibrant sounds in my new ears.
I felt so sexy and so decadent. I was outside, completely naked, and draped exotically around my fully-dressed, patrician husband. I had no sense of modesty or decorum. I was like some nude bather in a libertine, impressionist painting. It was completely improper… and fantastic. Totally absent of boundaries.
He reluctantly broke away from my mouth. "Should I just …take you back into the house? God, I don't think I can wait, can you?" His voice was breaking, barely more than a hoarse shell at this point.
"No, I don't…." my voice was trembling, "…but let's try to wait …somehow. I really want to… hunt… with you, badly….. Please…."
"Anything… it's yours…." His breathing was erratic. His voice little more than a whisper. His mouth found mine, agreeing to the impossible.
Frustrated at that moment with the concept of words, I led his mouth down to my chest. He understood my wants and took my nipple gratefully into his mouth. He was trying to take in almost the whole of my breast with it, sucking wildly, while sensually caressing the other. It was unbelievable to witness the ways his mouth and hands naturally travelled and owned my curves. And even more unbelievable to feel the sensations caused by them.
Unable to watch anymore, I hooked one arm behind his neck, arching my back into him. I turned my face to the night sky while he continued to worship my body. I shrieked and held him tighter with my thighs, grinding onto him through his clothes. Edward growled softly, sending subtle vibrations through me, and pulled me in closer.
The beginnings of a sneer contoured my lips as he continued darting back and forth eagerly from breast to breast. His tongue flitting in tiny, chaotic swirls across me, while my breath caught in my throat.
I strained him to me, uttering one moaning cry after another. My head was spinning already. My legs were weak and threatening collapse from their hold. I clung even tighter with my arms, scared to cede my grasp, and hooked my feet together behind him tighter yet for added measure. Edward sacrificed one hand away from his pursuits to help support me since I was rapidly crumbling.
Oh, this is all toooooo good, too incredible. I was so scared that this all somehow wouldn't be allowed to happen. Scared that things had gone too far just for even considering it, and the iron fetters of old would somehow reemerge in this reality and intervene.
But neither I nor Edward had any interest in denying what we both wanted…not anymore. We were past the point of denial. Past the point of worry. We were here, we were sure, and we were both desperate for this ultimate abandon to our total selves.
Slowly, and without interrupting his conversation with my body, Edward walked us into the forest, while I clung to him in agonized longing.
In the deep of the forest, dark and lush, I attacked Edward's neck, with a loud, alarming snarl. If the skin on his neck had been any softer, I would have torn it. I realized then that I was subconsciously trying to feed on him. Edward realized it too, because he growled defensively, aroused and provoked.
He caught me by the nape of my neck and glared at me with threatening eyes. Then he redirected my dangerous mouth back to his. I would love to say I didn't enjoy how roughly he'd done that, but I sooooo did.
He growled again and so did I, but it wasn't motivated by my behavior this time.
"You smell them, Bella?" he inquired in a whisper dripping with heat. His finger traced the valley between my breasts.
"Yessss," I hissed, in an almost intoxicated state, "wh…where are they?"
"Not very far. Are you ready? Or do you want to….play a little, first? I thought this would be a good distance for you to get…."
"Yeah. Give me a little time to…"
"Of course…whatever you need…just let me know when you're ready…If you still want t-…."
I put a finger over his lips and nodded with enough intensity in my eyes that he flinched a little. He'd had enough reassurance that this was really going to happen and returned to my mouth urgently.
I was amazed at this hybrid that Edward had become over the course of this night. Of course the feral part of him was all ready for hunt. But somehow my gentle husband was there in that passion for the hunt too, but still waiting so patiently for me to be at 100%... probably still in some part hoping I'd change my mind. The most desirable, satisfying mix of angel and animal.
I can't describe what realizing my gentleman Edward was fiery in his own right did to my emotions, but suffice it to say, I found myself that much closer to 100%.
I slid my hand down inside of Edward's jeans and underwear and began to stoke his fire with my own.
"Mine," I hissed through gritted teeth.
"All yours, my wife, forever."
With each stroke of my hand, Edward groaned into my mouth in the most sensuous and savage grunts.
I was the one on fire, taking in his sounds with deep, deep satisfaction.
"Off. Now." I directed in a calm, calculating voice that I'd recently learned made him crazy.
I stroked him even more forcefully. He was already so ready that the tension on the front of his jeans was unbelievable. "Now."
"Bella…Oh, Jesus….are you ….sure ….you …. Ohhhhhh, Jesus….want …I can't be in control of myself out here with you like this for much longer..."
"Am I sure?" I asked, with one eyebrow raised to the hilt. I answered his question by returning to my preoccupation with his neck.
"Bella…..sssssssssssssss…God Dammit!" he shouted angrily, "would you stop trying to bite me!…ssssssssssssssssss... oh shit…that feels SO good….."
Aroused to a point of anarchy, I still pulled up, distracted by the hilarity and absurdity of him having to ask me twice in as many minutes not to bite him. The blasphemy! I was also quite moved with how aggravated and yet helpless he was that he couldn't make me stop. I felt corrupt - it was fabulous.
"I'll stop, if it's too much for you…." Liquid silver bells chiming in my throat.
"Pleeeease don't do that." His voice was heavenly and laced with delectable notes of real desperation and menace.
"Do what?" I asked in a dusky voice.
Rubbing has hands less-than-gently on my waist, still nuzzling my chest, "You know what you're doing….talking to me in that voice, challenging me….and you KNOW what will happen if that continues…."
He switched to tonguing my ear in a way that is or should be banned in the lower forty-eight.
I pretended he hadn't just ransacked my swagger, "Oh, and what are you going to do?" I asked, too stupid to take his advice.
"Oh …you don't really think I won't tell you? I mean you just couldn't…" Dark and smooth, withalmost sympathy for my naiveté in his voice.
Like I don't know what he's capable of. Like he hadn't just literally…hell, there is no other word…ravaged me, repeatedly - over the last couple of hours, in words and in deeds.
But I didn't exactly have self preservation on my mind at that moment.
"I find it best to ask..." I teased him with my index finger already slick with his arousal. I was very boldly circling his tip with it, while my other four fingers firmly grasped him.
"Very well…." His tone was casual and unaffected, but his eyes, oh God his eyes, were dark and molten.
"I want to…forgive me, I misspoke….I'm going to… fuckyou…Isabella…. hard… and slow…while you feed," a breathy, silken whisper gliding across an empty exhale.
His tongue conquered my mouth. I sucked it desperately until he withdrew it sharply, regaining rule of me. I whimpered, my eyes wide.
Edward pulled away from me at the most cutting moment, demonstrating his absolute discipline and control over me and this situation. I was awestruck and dreadfully hungry for more.
The calculated restraint made me realize this wasn't actually the monster. The monster wasn't capable of that much delay in gratification. No, this was my Edward talking to me like this. The goo was back and brought its friend, disorientation.
He grinned ever so crookedly, knowing he'd won. But he was not yet satisfied with the degree of wreckage. He continuedelegantly,"I'm going to enjoy watching trickles of blood weep down your soft, snowy contours and then drink them from your body.
"I'm going to mingle the sweetness of the blood with the sweetness of your nectar, and then we're going to share it… from my tongue.
"I'm going to satisfy you and have you… fed in every way possible, in any way that you desire." A deliberate index finger pressed in and ran all the way down to the parting of my legs, then hooked sharply inward. My breath seized.
"Any other questions, my dear?" He grinned like a Cheshire cat. A dirty, sexy, wild-eyed, vampire Cheshire cat.
"Ohhhh f-fuck," I said, weak and maimed.
He whispered in my ear, "Yes…that's the plan, more or less."
He took a long, satisfied, gloating inhale, and closed his eyes, savoring my incapacitation. "Lovely. Your body already has a little gift for me. Shall I receive it?"
Before I could attempt to answer, I was smashed against the bark of a tree while Edward raised my thighs up to the level his mouth. I was nearing sensory overload once more. The massive, ancient, Sitka Spruce he'd thrown me against seemed to be as well.
The tree's bark felt like the softest corduroy caressing my back, while Edward's impossibly beautiful bronze locks tickled the insides of my thighs. It was already too much to comprehend.
Holding me in place with one hand, a deft finger from the other hand traced me masterfully and intentionally - careful not to penetrate me - even though I was already so eager, so wet, and begging for it. I gasped, startled by the sheer, abject affliction of this torment.
I tried to push forward onto his finger, but Edward already knew that trick was coming. He moved his hand, intolerably, even further away from where I wanted it to be.
He looked up at me, darkly amused. All my strength and will had been sapped and I was bracing myself from a low branch on the tree.
He was completely devoid of all compassion about torturing me. I whined in a desperate heat and hissed. He hissed back, unimpressed. Then he smiled the most crooked and depraved grin there ever was.
"Let's settle part one of the wager, shall we?
"You've already got your legs spread nice and wide for me… thank you for that….we might as well…finish…what you started." He drug out the f on finish, making it sound like a four letter word. He addressed the statement to his eye level, not mine.
Impatient and burning for him, I grabbed his hand and tried to guide his fingers where I desperately needed them. He resisted.
I could have moved his hand if I wanted to. Easily. But I didn't want to overpower him, not yet at least.
If I was woman enough to want the hunt, surely I was woman enough to touch myself for Edward.
Of course I'd never found anywhere near the kinds of pleasure or release that he'd brought me. But this was what he wanted, and I would give him anything to make him pleased. Anything.
So I reminisced, straining through cloudy memories into the muddy waters of human sight and sensory.
I closed my eyes and concentrated my thoughts on the lonely bedtimes when he was off hunting without me. My curiosity about how my body worked - and desperately wanting it to be him touching me. A man more beautiful than the sun told me that it was only my safety that kept him able to resist me.
I opened my eyes to include him, and found him smiling warmly, encouragingly at me - desperately heated yet restraining himself in order to encourage me if I'd needed it. Turning me on even worse.
I chose my left hand for the honors. Helpless romantic that Edward is, I knew it would be a bigger mind-destruction for him to see the hand wearing the ring he'd given me, the ring he'd said vows over, on the hand touching myself. So I let the ring and the hand drift slowly to center stage, fingers arranging themselves intuitively.
I maintained thick eye contact with him and thought only of his long, talented fingers. Wishing they were there instead of mine.
My body easily shifted into remembrance of wanting the maestro to play me. Any threats of self-consciousness were completely dissipated.
Confidence surged in me as I spoke, "You might want to put me down. You might need your hands free for the show." Dead calm in my voice, unerring eye contact.
Edward muttered something very softly, inhumanly softly, about a tiger and a kitten and murder, but I couldn't follow. Then he shook his head with incredulous pity and released me to the forest floor. I knew that face. I liked that face. Very much.
Without further ado, I began to tour my body there, lingering where it felt nice to. Tickling and circling the swollen bump he'd laid claim to many times over. My touch felt nearly ineffectual in contrast to the way he did it, of course, but still it was somehow really good.
I thought only of his tongue and of my distressed yearning for him to be there. I could feel my body filling, advancing its own need. It was amazing.
Edward's hypnotized eyes agreed.
With my right hand, I started brushing delicate touches across my neck, fantasizing that it was Edward's breath dusting across me gently. I found great pleasure in understanding my skin as the same satin-covered marble as my demi-god of a husband's. I rubbed my lonely breasts, echoes of his mouth still upon them. Then, I trailed down across my belly, so fascinated by the texture of my new skin under my new fingertips.
And finally, down further.
With my right hand, I parted my swollen body for him to see, vividly and graphically, all that he might wish for. His breath was shocky and hushed itself the wider I opened.
"Ohhhhhhhh… you are SO beautiful."
"So are you."
Mercifully ending his suspense, I smiled and plunged into myself as deeply as I could go. I sighed and held there for him while he looked on.
"Oh Bella, I love you so."
As soon as he spoke my name, I began to slide my finger in and out, the feeling far more intense than I expected. Far better than I remembered ever having on my own before.
Looking into his adoring yet half-mad eyes, I began to slowly rock my hips back and forth, steadying myself on strong thighs. Edward looked like he wanted to consume them more than blood.
I found myself in a strange reality: giving myself over to feelings that did not include him and yet very much centered on him. Straddling two worlds of experience at the same time.
I got really into it. Really into it. I was moving then in a comfortable rhythm like I did when I was on top for the first time. I exaggerated my motions, wondrously discovering and experimenting with all the little ridges of sensation on and in my body.
My body reflexively began to prepare for friction from something more substantial, and far more satisfying.
I relished producing the evidence of my enjoyment, proud to display glossy fingers to Edward - like first fruits of the harvest. His eyes widened.
"May I?" he asked.
Hell yes, I thought, but nodded calmly.
I thought he was coming to take over, but he simply grabbed up my fingers, and one-by-one took each into his mouth, sucking and licking them gratefully like they delivered life to him. Then he kissed my ring, and returned my hand to me. I knew he'd like the ring.
I stopped to watch, fascinated and so humbled by his love and utter addiction to me.
"Bella, please… please keep going."
"But I'm not done enjoying 'the show'. Please, a little more….only just a little more. Ask me again shortly, and I shall be honored to accompany you then. Is that alright?" He touched my cheek with fondness.
"Alright, but will you do something for me?"
He already knew what I was going to ask, and to my great surprise, he was quite willing. Smoothing his hands across the front of his jeans, he smiled with bedroom eyes. "Anything that you require."
I nodded and then sunk a second finger into my body, writhing just a little, bracing myself against the elder tree again. "Please," I whispered.
Edward effortlessly pulled his shirt over his head and then undid his pants enough to release and present himself to me.
"For you, Bella…always for you." he sighed. He paused for just a moment letting me look upon him, completely submitted to my needs, then he began to move his hands on himself.
I was prepared to help him with feeling comfortable, but he so had this already. He gave me intense and intensely loving eye contact, while he rubbed himself for me. Hot as hell.
I had to regroup just to not get dazzled. I gasped. It was so ….wow. It was a thousand times better than my silly day dream imagined it would be, and that was already incredible. The earnest faces he made and the un-self-conscious motions of his hands were amazing. The soft gapes. The staggering shudders. All amazing. I finally understood why Edward liked my faces so much.
When one loves someone as much as he loves me, there isn't much you don't want to know about that pleasure. Or much you wouldn't want to give. I was humbled and driven to greater heights of love for him. Atmosphere-exiting heights.
"…Soooo … hard …for you, Bella. I crave you like this all the time."
"…So wet for you…and it will be this way for you forever…onlyfor you." He grinned, blissfully on fire. I could see that bit of reality hadn't occurred to him yet. Let him ponder that.
Edward and I moved ourselves in synchronicity and improvisation. Eyes on my beloved, I fingered myself, while he stroked and rubbed himself for me.
I could barely stand it. Neither could he. Edward's gaze was at once the only thing making it possible and impossible to keep going.
How could I have missed something as phenomenal as the way his face contorted at the specific moment of every penetration? How could I not have noticed the slight, bittersweet loss he felt on each withdrawal?
My body shook in a little spasm. At first I thought it was the epiphany, but my body shook again.
Edward smiled proudly - like he did when I'd first landed gracefully after jumping from the window. But he said nothing, grinning, eagerly waiting for me to catch on.
Just then, I did. It never occurred to me that I might hit Edward's master stroke, his high note, my G, but that's exactly what I'd done. It was a terrible discovery, like stumbling across a landmine.
Edward was mesmerized and groaned louder than I did. "Oh God….Bella, please… keep going…." He sucked in air harshly, frantically, while he sped up the pace with which he rubbed himself.
I nodded. "Anything for you."
Within moments, I was barely able to handle it. It was almost too sensitive for me to touch directly. Or I'd become accustomed to his touch. Somehow, even with perfect recall, I could not recreate the bearable unbearability he cultivated in my body.
Feelings sweeping in, overtaking me in a rush, I rapidly found that I was not in a position to keep up the performance.
I felt the world disappearing from around me and I knew it would not be much longer. He didn't look far behind me.
"Edward," I asked, breathy and surrendered, "would you …please...join me now?"
"I thought you'd never ask… again."
It was like going from Chopsticks to Chopin in the time it took to blink. In a fraction of a second too tiny to calculate, Edward had me on the forest floor. He brought the point of his very thrilling tongue to the heart of the matter – efficiently and effectively closing the first act of this play.
Of course being him, he didn't stop when I released; re-igniting new passions more terrible than the last.
"Edward, I need you inside me, please."
"Later, love. I'm….saving myself." He winked at me and chuckled deviously before returning his tongue to me with all haste. It's hard to argue when you've suddenly become tongue-tied by a tongue that isn't even your own.
I screamed and whimpered while I unwittingly pulled up a line from the tree's root system - illustrating the fury and rampage of the emotions he'd upset inside of me. Mercifully he soothed those as well.
He was still not relieved of his tension. Even though he was waiting, I couldn't have that.
I copied his line from minutes ago, "May I?" He nodded less coolly than I did, but obviously playing my part.
He looked too good, too delicious. I looked up and quickly checked again to be sure of his comfort with my plans.
He smiled, assenting –past those reservations now - and his eyes rolled back, ready. He nodded grateful and unashamed. I finished sliding him out of his pants.
"Bella…but one thing…"
"What is it?" I asked nervously.
"I just need to feel connected to you…" He extended his hand to me. I took it, floored by his depth of devotion to me, but understanding it all too well.
And there, once more, under a canopy of midnight skies, this time shrouded in trees, I took my husband into my mouth, while we held hands.
He didn't keep his hand off me this time. This time, he allowed his free hand to gently, so gently, coax my head closer to him.
"Ahhhhh, Bellahhhh," he sighed over and over. His hand was in my hair, massaging it with tenderness.
He moaned out my name in an amber tone that matched his eyes. Our bodies, moving in a natural motion of waves connecting perfectly with each other.
I'd already adjusted to the mechanics, so I could focus more naturally on just being with him. I gave myself over to the moment intuitively. I knew exactly how to touch him now, how to take him into me and leave him most fulfilled.
His faces were ones of beauty and turmoil. It was so amazing doing this for him while he let himself joyfully receive it. I relished the beautiful scent of him and the taste of him. He squeezed my hand tighter.
His voice shattered the darkness, as he alternately exulted my name and God's, until he bore no more will to deny his release.
I laid on his thigh waiting for the deep trembling in his body to pass, kissing him, caressing him.
"Oh…Bella, that was…. Oh God!" The happy dance in my head threatened to move to my feet.
I'd meant to excite and soothe him once more but I couldn't help myself – I just had to tease him just a little first.
I ghosted up his body, still pressed tightly into him. " I thought we'd already established that God's not interfering with this little party…so what was all that about?" I kissed his heavenly lips, giggling, then turned to return to my previous location, but he caught me.
Edward laughed, still shaking. He kissed me and shook his head. "You just never intend to learn, do you?" His eyes were adoring, but appraising the best way to correct my impunity.
Instantly, he pulled us up to our feet, wedging me tightly between himself and our old friend, the tree, yet again.
All in an instant, things got serious…again.
He grabbed my legs with authority and wrapped them back around his waist, pulling on my back furiously to bring my ribs to rub against his own, grating me against him. I anxiously followed his lead and matched my intensity to his – resuming the devouring of his neck. He filled the other side of mine with lurid details about his frustration with and want for me.
I'd never heard of half of these words before – parts Latin, parts French, parts sailor on shore leave - but I was very clear about his meaning and the effect that hearing them was having on me.
Bracing me against the giant Ent of a tree, he rubbed himself against me where I missed him most. Yet he denied my hips any permission to advance.
Just when I thought I could manage no more, just when I thought I was going to lose my mind….he denied me again. "What ….are you doing?"
The monster's smirk blackened his angelic face. "Beg me."
Ohhhh…. You ass! You sexy, sexy ass!
His deceptively-timid finger joined in the madness, cautiously tickling the border between heaven and hell.
"Begme." Smoldering in his tone and his touch.
"Then you leave me no choice…." Edward inserted himself very precisely up to, but no further than, the start of my walls. Then, he dramatically removed himself. And then did it again. And again. And again. Evil!
My head fell back and my legs began to fail me. I yelled and pushed away from him. Then I caught his hand and overpowered him to bring it where I wanted it.
"I think you have this backwards. This is where you beg me…"
I forced his hand down to see how much wetter I'd gotten during this little exchange.
Edward became a convert to the faith.
He sniveled and sneered, trying to reach out and touch me more now, but his free gift with purchase was over. I removed his hands completely from me and dropped to my knees before him with a smirk of my own.
Holding him firmly in my hands, passion thrilling within me, I lasered bold eyes upon him, heady with power.
"Beg me." I licked my lips at him.
"Ohhhhhhh ….you really are going to kill me..." he stammered out.
"Close enough…" I assessed coolly, then furiously rushed upon him sucking from him frenzied.
Luscious, wet sucking sounds dominated every other sound around us, including Edward's par-unconscious murmuring.
"Mmmmmmm," I hummed into him, greedily enjoying him filling my mouth. I so enjoyed the decay of the last vestiges of his inhibitions. I was fully aware that me being on my knees in front of him was eroding the last of something precious in his self-denial. And I loved that his monster was complicit in it. But it was time to up the ante.
"Don't close your eyes, look at me."
"Ohhhh... Jesus. "
"If you close your eyes again, I'll stop."
He nodded, overwhelmed and totally owned, eyes glued to me now. Huh, so that's what I look like when he does that to me. Nice.
"Good boy," I delivered with flippancy for some charming comments his monster made to me a little earlier in the evening. Then, before he could even pretend to retaliate, I palmed his perfect ass and pushed him deeper into me. He fell apart.
He roared at me in some kind of ecstatic nervous breakdown. I felt so powerful and sexually explosive. Edward erupted quickly, spilling out into me, feeding me his satisfaction. I snarled at him, pleased, with him still in my throat.
I moved my mouth off of him, smiling tauntingly, still rubbing him firmly. "Got some things on your mind?"
In a heavy, dreamy voice he replied, "Oh, only fifteen…or fifty four…."
"What?" In the time it took my brain to parse his little riddle, Edward launched himself over me, ghosting us to the ground in a way that would still allow my mouth to remain on him. In but a flicker of time, we were a mesh of limbs and mouths on each other in the most mutually-beneficial of configurations. Not exactly head to toe.
The gentle breeze shifted direction. The very same deer we located near were now upwind of us. They were foolishly far too close to a hunting blind of a very different kind.
Edward growled, but impressively said nothing about them, still waiting for me.
Their smell was thick and tangy in the air, assaulting my throat, alerting a different part of my new genius banks…I knew smells. I knew this smell, and knew this deer. I could pick it out from amongst others from at least a mile away. The very deer that we smelled in our bedroom was among their scents.
"Edward is that the same…oh Christ… from before?" I partially screamed out my question, turned on by that, but mostly because of what Edward's lips and tongue were doing at the time.
"Yes….." He shuddered, completely wired and trying his hardest to be calm. Not at all patient enough to fool me or to try to explain to me how I knew that.
"How can you… stand it? Isn't your throat b-b-burning?" The pain was so shocking that it accosted me by how impossibly present it had been all this time. I was amazed I had been able to keep ignoring it until now.
My right hand left Edward and flew up to hold my parched throat. The thirst burned and caked in it. It had moved beyond the clean pain of a white-hot branding iron to something more charring. And needful.
"Discipline…." He exhaled as he grazed my thigh with his teeth.
"Oh….oh…..oh….. God!" His fingers stayed their agile course on me, "…..How….m-m-many?"
"Focus. Count them…you can do it." His voice was luscious. I think he was almost as excited about the prospect of me tracking them as he was about the impending feast.
It was as if he stilled himself, but his passionate excursions across my body continued. My second brain tab was activated and totally trained on tracking while the first was still with Edward's activities on my lines and sinews.
It was miles past intense being right in the middle of honing the pursuit and being tangled with him like this. "Count the heartbeats. Listen to the wet heartbeats." Waaaay too much.
His little word play about wetness while he slid inside of mine made me crazy. His fluent tongue was vigorously at work on me. My mouth was on him too, reciprocating every pleasure he'd exquisitely extracted from me. Both of us in a dimension of heat that existed beyond anything we'd previously known. But I was almost too excited to release, too focused on the hunt now, to surrender.
My mouth flooded with venom because a whole new level of seduction was about to begin. Edward snarled out a response to that. I hadn't considered the extra influx of venom impacted him too, but of course it did. That was a nice little bonus.
Neither of us relenting from our actions, because neither of us needed to, I closed my eyes and focused. Time slowed down, or just exploded, but I could now manage it all. It was as if my monster had risen to the occasion.
"Seven, just there….."
"Mmmmmm….very good…." Edward's said slyly, while he rewarded me.
"Oh, God…..Ohhhhhhh. Edward, I'm …"
"Are you sure?"
"Very sure," I whispered pointedly.
Edward nodded and then we both stilled ourselves for real. As if rehearsed, we broke away from each other and stood to face each other, letting the electricity simply stun us as it surged in our dry veins.
The pause was not long lived. We attacked each other with violent lust in something close to angry kissing. Edward's surface restraint showed major cracks. I had none to even speak of.
"Bella…you have to tell me…now!" he raged in a whisper that I'd become all-too-familiar with. This is what he sounded like under the final retreat of composure.
"Tell menowif you don't want…" His eyes rolled back in his head, hissing and pained. He spoke through gritted teeth. "I don't know that there's any turning back for me after this point….."
His eyes were begging me, filled with self-contempt and an almost incomprehensible level of torment and lust. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
He leaned in, teeth gritted, "You have no idea what you do to me…" He buried his face in my hair, "Please…have mercy on me." He cowered into the space along my neck trying to bury his passion and fears about losing control there.
He moaned and ground into me compulsively in a panic of frayed, conflicted, and tortured nerves. Thick, heavy breaths between us consoled neither of us.
He stroked my thighs helplessly like an addict appraising a vial of his next fix. Edward was shaking. Angry. Nervous, like he was being held in a fire, and willing himself not to move.
"Edward, listen to me, I really want this. Look at me, I want this. This is not something I'm unsure of. Can you trust that you don't need to worry about me regretting this?"
"…Bella….…" he begged weakly, looking down, still rubbing my hips.
I hissed, so aroused I couldn't stand it. I turned his face to mine. I looked him in the eyes and bared my teeth to him, my mind dark and raving. I smiled drunk with terrible power thrilling in my body. I was so ready for this hunt now. So ready.
"I won't ask you to stop…I won't. But one thing before we go..." He was wary of what I might say but he leaned in nonetheless.
"Leave the deer for me." I could feel my eyes glowing, literally glowing, with desire and greed. And we were both okay with that.
He relaxed into such a wonderfully dirty, dirty grin. The velvet voice was back, as was his ease. "Silly girl," he taunted, "how else can I have you while you're having it?"
He hissed and pulled my head back for one more violent kiss. "Wait for me here. Please. I want to bring you the first… taste." I nodded, dazed. He grinned again.
Edward shivered and growled at the same time. Threadbare resolve changed call signs to non-existent.
He took off like a rocket.
I leaped to the highest limbs of the tall Spruce to watch. My beautiful hunter had already closed in for the kill.
Just as the first time I'd ever watched him, he was magnificent. It was sheer artistry to watch him move. It didn't hurt that he was naked.
He sprung precise and lethal. Impassively, he sunk his teeth into the buck. It was a precision kill - the deer had not suffered. Even in his heightened state, he'd chosen no distress for the animal. It affirmed for me that we could be human enough to enjoy ourselves in a way that wasn't truly monstrous.
The heart still beat in the animal, an involuntary reflex, unaware that it'd been ended. Slower and slower it diminished to nothing; but for a golden while, it still deliciously pumped the sweet blood. It was a soothing, sensual rhythm and it resonated deep within me.
Watching him feed was like an elemental, primordial kind of foreplay. This was far more than pride that he belonged to me. This was base and compulsory, and it called out to me from my predator DNA.
Edward broke from feeding in a sharp, reluctant hiss and turned back to where he left me. His countenance was very carefully staid. It would have been believable had the focus in his eyes not looked so unstable and random.
There was a single, thin line of blood slowly inching down from the corner of his mouth. It was macabre and sensuous at the very same time. And I'd never wanted something from him more.
I leaped out of the tree softly, elegantly, landing ninety feet below in the path just ahead of him.
"You're a clean hunter. You spilled that on purpose."
No response of any kind. Not even a twinkle in his eyes. Edward had nothing to say.
But the monster…he had things to tell me.
His dark, terrible, hauntingly beautiful eyes filled me with his story. He grabbed me to him and kissed my mouth, delivering a stream of hot, rich blood into me. And I forgot everything I'd meant to fear about this moment.
I melted, literally melted, as it coated and soothed my scorching throat. I reached out and rubbed his body aggressively while I drank it all in. Edward growled into my mouth. His tongue probed for answers I didn't have, as I gleaned every mist and droplet that I could from him.
Very quickly, his mouth was clean. I was so frustrated that I would have to break away from this kiss to hunt that I screamed. Ear-piercing screeches came from me in registers that I was not capable of intentionally producing. I scared myself with a start, but Edward's blazing eyes settled me back into the wanting.
I touched my finger to the corner of my mouth, collecting a faint trace of blood. I stared at the microscopic smudge of red on my finger in wonder. I put the finger to his lips, offering it to him. He accepted, lingering long past the last of its taste.
Our eyes were locked on each other in a taste of something more, when the windtumbled past us again. I heard my own breathing quicken. Edward's too. Thatdeer, my deer, was the center of my whole world again. A flush of adrenaline warmed my insides. Tingling, thrilling me.
Moment of truth. The moment called and I answered it.
I flew from Edward in disregard for anything but the sound of the deer's pulse and its smell.
Its heartbeat was like a beacon bringing me in, a siren conjuring beauty for the crash.
I couldn't argue with the compulsion. I couldn't do anything but run faster. The air blurred out any other focus. I was nothing more than a cliché, a moth led irrationally to flame. Not a wife. Not a daughter. Not a sister or a friend. Not even a mother.
I was a hunter.
It wasn't a question of anything but reaching and consuming it. My entire purpose for existing in that moment rested in the urgency of this fact.
About a half a second behind my muscles executing, I realized I was already airborne and leaping on instinct, with eager teeth bared out in front of keenly parted lips.
Before I even landed, my teeth were already sinking through to the libation pouring inside. The boon to my obsession simultaneously quelled and inflamed both of my appetites.
The blood rushed hot and appealing into my mouth. It was just as satisfying, just as ambrosial as I knew it would be. Something about my fixation with this creature made its aroma quite pleasurable to me. Arousing. Not at all like the other deer I'd fed on. This deer had a perfume of sweet waters and fresh greens. This deer also carried with it an association with Edward's fire. Toothsome, indeed.
It was only as I drank in more that I realized Edward's proximity to me. He was close. Very close. And approaching very carefully behind me. To settle our accounts.
I hissed low, unwilling to break off in order properly defend my kill. The blood might cool too quickly or something else might happen to spoil this fulfillment.
Fascinating thing, instincts. I knew he was coming, I felt threatened, and yet I couldn't make myself break from feeding.
He came up behind me at a steady pace. Not so fast that I would be forced to defend my claim, yet not so slow that he was taking precaution to prevent that from happening. In hindsight, I kind of think he was hoping for the latter. In hindsight, I think I kind of was too.
His pace was steady. Determined. Inevitable.
He stopped, and boldly whispered three words that changed the way the earth spun on it axis.
"On. Your. Knees."
My mouth watered freely, almost dripping venom. Another part of me carried out a very similar process.
My eyes snapped open. My jaw unlocked from feeding. And I obeyed him.
I came to kneel alongside the deer. I arched my back low, my knees wide apart. Eager. Hungry. The anticipation was killing me. I was so curious to see the expression on Edward's face, but somehow I knew that if I did, we would end up fighting.
So of course I looked…
His eyes were deadly. His smile was angry. And his body was …..ohhhhhh…. so….wow.
'Good enough to eat' had never been more apropos.
I stared at him coldly, disturbing levels of passion starting to rise within me.
"Careful with those eyes, love….ssssssssssssssss…someone might get the wrong idea."
I touched a finger to my tongue, wet it, and drug it through one of the patches of sticky red on my chest from yet another messy feed.
I brought the stained finger behind me and painted the first skin that it touched. "And what idea would that be?"
Edward flew to me in flash, kneeling down in the grass behind me. He raked his fingernails across me and groped my bottom. He took his time spreading me to make me more available to him. Then he accepted my offering on his tongue, growling, almost purring in his throat.
He whispered in my ear. "That you might be looking for a struggle."
"But what if my mate's not…up...to it?" I leaned back into him and reached behind me to grab and stroke him brutally.
"Now, now…you don't want to be mistaken for a bitch. You knowthey just end up mounted… and panting. " He handled himself, rubbing his head up and down the length of me. Pushing into me just slightly.
"Fuck you." I wiggled and rubbed myself on him, rolling my hips. Desperate. He had enough will within him to remain perfectly still. I was impressed, and frustrated.
"Manners, please." His soft breath tickled my neck like cotton. Edward growled and forced me back down to all fours. Then, he grabbed my hand and rubbed our fingers inside one set of my lips, then the other.
He then ran our fingers across the stains on my chest and we did a little finger painting. I nearly passed out and I'm not sure that's even possible. He licked my fingers clean while I struggled to stay balanced. I didn't know what I wanted to turn around and do more: scratch his eyes out or scratch his back.
"Fuck. You." I whispered, voice shaking, burdened heavy with crushing need – and anger seething that he'd mentally defeated me.
He moved one hand up to ghost across my neck and pulled me backwards to his mouth. He bared his teeth on me, biting at my neck, so perilously close to breaking the skin that it burned.
"I assure you that is coming…." His tone changed from teasing to serious. "…but tell me…please… tell me what you're hungry for. Say it. Out loud." He spoke through his teeth, in obviously hard-won control of his tone.
I caved, lost.
"Fuck me … while I feed." My body rippled all over in tiny tremors, and I returned to the comforts of the still-very-warm blood. And waited for what was coming for me.
"….have your… fill."
Edward roared out like a beast. Then he entered me and took me like one.
Edward fucked me so completely. On every level of meaning. The deer's blood filling my mouth and Edward filling my body so powerfully. The height of two appetites merging into something altogether higher. Destroying me. Destroying any pretense to deny it.
I gave myself to the intersection of these two carnal pleasures. My body was shaking. The smells, fragrant and dense. The scent of deer, the scent of Edward. The rippling, wet flesh at both of the connections. I moaned in a trance-like state of unthinking pleasure.
"Bella…." Edward sucked on the ball of my shoulder and raked scratches down my sides.
Just as he'd promised earlier, he slowed down, way down. Venomously slow. He joined me in my trance, heat of passion and blood slowly spreading through me, through us both. I was so out of control, so overcome.
I swallowed blood convulsively as he threw himself into me over and over again, bracing me to him.
I put my middle finger in my mouth, and reached my arm back to feed that finger to his mouth, blood clinging to it. He took it, snarling, grinding into me with everything he had. His body was pinned to mine so intensely, his mouth latched to my finger, sucking it rhythmically.
I couldn't stand it. I reared back into him, and with my left arm, hooked my wrist behind his neck.
We moved in one exaggerated roll and wave after another. Edward stroked me so hard. So stirringly deep. SO. GOOD. I fell forward pulling him with me and returned to my drink.
Edward was still sucking my middle finger, simulating the way I ran my tongue up and down his length while he was inside my mouth. Mind blown, I clawed into his neck unconsciously.
"Darling… if you decapitate me, I'm afraid I may get… upset." He pinched my nipples severely, as a caution, fondling and kneading the whole of my breasts in pleasant contrast. I cried out and quickly moved my hand down.
He guided the culpable hand down between my legs, directing me to his little pearl, which was nearly bursting. His index finger over mine directing me.
His mouth close in on my ear, "Now, if you need something to punish…"
Determined to illicit more penance from me, thrusts became rougher and faster now, a dangerous pleasure for us both. Each time my finger slowed, he drove harder. Each time I moaned, he drove harder. Each time I attempted to attack him - and I did try - he drove harder. All the while nicking me with mischievous teeth, and incensing me with fingers that supervised, but did not linger.
He rolled himself inside of me in one wicked churn after another, and I screamed his name, shaking.
"Excellent." He drove harder yet. So Evil.
Edward said very few actual sentences, mostly growling, occasionally speaking bluntly about his plans for my body. I believe I lost the ability to speak around him telling me he would fuck me on his tongue after it was hot with the blood of a fresh kill.
He took great delight when I couldn't support myself on my elbows after that. His hips also took full advantage of the change in my body's angle.
"Ohhh…Ohhh…Ohhh!" I screamed, but quickly stifled, hating to give that to him. But I was beyond my own feeble choices and options now. Dignity was but a faded memory.
Shortly, the balance of deer was spent. My body was flushed with the warmth of the blood and his fire. The sounds of Edward's panting breaths synchronized me to him and I reached out to touch him. He caught my hand and laced my fingers with his. He held me stable and delivered merciful blows that finished me satisfied and whole.
Not long after, Edward went the way of me and the deer, still bracing my hips. I turned my head far to the right so I could bewith him as he did. He kissed and licked my sticky mouth while he spilled inside of me, shivering violently, still stroking into me like he was compelled not to stop.
In that moment I understood why the wolves howled at the moon. It was an affirmation of them living fully in and embracing their authentic selves. Expressing themselves in their most elemental moment.
That understanding folded into my acceptance of our sexual thirsts - and that acceptance called me higher.
I had no idea that giving myself over to this desire would bring me to an almost mystical space, but it did. The experience was so beyond the limitations of mere language.
I felt the play-anger, the little-girl-playing-dress-up - that liked testing out my new self and sexuality by playing at ego battles with Edward - beginning to yield that bravado to something different, something stronger, something bigger. Something intrinsically and exponentially more powerful.
The games were fun, no doubt, but there was something even more real beyond it. I felt something almost god-like in the range of me now. Edward felt it too. I saw in hindsight that he started there when he came to me after my kill, but he followed my lead into lesser dances.
I took myself into the real Vampire within.
She needed no posturing to be rife with sensuality and seduction. She needed no clever comments, no prideful motivations. No permissions to arch her ass into her man and give him a torrential fucking.
Ripping apart his rhythm along with the ground below her.
Miles beyond being a frivolous newborn playing at being a bad ass in silver designer shoes, the real She within was a real bitch in heat - raw and instinctual. A real bad ass, owned by no one, not even Edward. A true goddess.
A new sound came from me, somewhere lower in my throat, like a growling hum. Like the sound of a stalking tiger patiently and methodically tiring its prey. Edward went nuts and called back to me in the exact same sound. Heavenly, terrible, trouble.
I clenched onto him so hard inside of me that he scratched into my skin in extreme riot, groaning and yelling in some newly-tapped feral registers of his own.
Pleasure and pain had become subjective with blurred boundaries. I bit into the deer's throat again, addressing my need for another kill bite.
Edward growled proudly and possessively, and violently clutched my haunches. The sounds of our living stone bodies banging together became the fuel driving our lust to even more hostile levels. We continued leering obscene noises at each other - while we shook and rumbled the ground underneath us from the sheer force of our vicious fucking.
In this state, I couldn't talk. Mostly couldn't think. I really wished he could read my mind right then. And he surely touched me like he knew exactly what I needed, even though I didn't rationally know myself.
A burning sensation sought through me until it found and lit my wild heart. Then it dripped slowly through me like the lazy wick of an oil lamp…until it met with and ignited a sister torch below. Both fuses lit, the pleasure of abandon and furious thrashing screamed out of me on every pathway of limbs and nerve endings I had.
My punching fists sank through the "hard" earth like porridge. Urges sated, if not extinguished, I gushed out to Edward, who'd been only waiting for me, and we released together in meteoric crescendo.
God, even like this he waits for me.
"Edward…" It was all I could speak, all I could give him. But he still knew.
He moved my hair out of the way and kissed the back of my neck, tracing the top of my spine with his finger. "Always."
Passion like that changes you irrevocably. You will always retain pieces of who you are, but sometimes there are other parts that have to be left behind just to make the space. Sometimes there is just nothing that can prepare you for transformation into something like that. Sometimes there is just no way to understand the destination prior to the journey, beyond any kind of superficial, trivial grasp.
Nothing I learned from my adoptive family had even hinted at this part of vampire life. Talk about keeping secrets.
Edward tells me often that I saved his life, that I gave him a reason to live. I feel now like I will have the courage to tell him that his love gave me a reason to be born into something brand new, more than merely being born into his kind. Something more myself and alive than I ever could have known until I got here.
This was our moment to savor. I closed my eyes and pressed my face to his. Both of us with decidedly and literally sanguine faces. We did not speak, for what could be said that would even service what we'd just shared. The silence filled bar after bar of harmonious peace all around us, for miles and miles of moments.
I had no idea it could be like this, and I wanted more. Now. With five deer still very close by, I knew more would be sooner than later. Why did they just keep scattering to someplace nearby? They weren't even trying to make it hard for us.
This time, we hunted together. It was a kinship of warriors. The thrill of hunting mixed with glorious intermissions for dangerous and deranged sex - and a little more fighting. Okay, a lot more fighting. Crouching hunches that turned into deliciously exotic and beastly sutras. Blood lavished on nearly every inch, and I mean inch, of us both, then, hungrily consumed in the most creative of ways.
Edward made good on all of the promises he made to bring pleasure to parts of my body at temperatures he could never offer me before. I reciprocated, bringing him to his knees, and mine, a few times as well.
Time passed slowly, quickly, and in and out of all context, meaning and value.
One deer left. We could have tracked and hunted more, but we both silently agreed this would be the last hunt for this night - a night that was already on the razor's edge of morning. We looked at each other trying to determine who would have the final pursuit of the evening.
I winked at him, "Go!" He smiled subtly and then tore away running towards the deer. I followed close on his trail. As efficient as he was sexy, he'd already made the kill by the time I caught up to him.
Passion dissolving my brain and his, he looked over his shoulder. "Join me."
"Bring it to me," I baited, while my finger traced my navel.
He turned and drank the animal almost dry, careful to drain all but one final mouthful. I waited, watching longingly at his pale, naked, gorgeous form.
He brought the precious last mouthful to me, blood covering his chin. I licked my lips at him.
He hissed out the first part of my full name, "Iiiiiiiiissssaahhhhhh," his eyes rolling back, blood tumbling forth out of his mouth spilling towards me the wider his mouth opened. I smashed myself against him drinking up all that I could. I allowed some to roll down his body and rub between us. The warm sensation between us was so good.
He grabbed me up and wrapped my legs around him, planning to sex me like this. I pressed myself into him thrilled; this position was an obvious but as-yet-unspoken fantasy for us both.
Edward licked me spotless of every last bit of blood. Paying far more careful attention to detail on some parts of my chest than others.
As Edward penetrated me, my left leg defied my instructions to stay hooked behind him. Rather than keep arguing with the errant leg, Edward just casually threw it over his shoulder, tilting me back almost perpendicular to him.
Something about this position caused us to fall out of rougher matters and into heavy love making.
My hips got looser and I started rolling in big motions that let me grind fantastically against him.
"Jeeeesus, Bella. Oh shit…..Oh shit!"
He grabbed my bottom pumping into me in sharp breaks like dangerous waves crashing in from a stormy sea. Each time my hips rolled into him, he met me there.
He sighed, loving how I threw myself. I was loving how he made me sing in notes that only my new vocal chords … and these incentives… could compose.
From this position, I could display all of my insides to him. I knew he loved seeing me - seeing us - like this, so I titled my pelvis up and spread myself as wide as I could. He watched with widened eyes at the motions of our bodies… alternately looking into my eyes and then back to our union.
He was having difficulty standing. I could relate – of course I wasn't supporting anyone else at the time of my troubles.
I wanted to see too so I tried to crane myself over. Edward smiled at my curiosity and tried to angle me so I could, but it didn't work. He smiled again, a little naughtier, but still lovingly. "I'll get you straight to a mirror when we get home. But for now, trust me when I tell you, it's the best thing you'll ever see."
I couldn't hold my head up anymore. I let my neck fall back, and let my eyes open upside down on the scenery behind me. A broad thumb strummed me just above our join. My hips changed motion to a decidedly more vertical wave. Edward matched it, crashing into me at the exact right moments.
God, the feeling was so beautiful, so amazing between us. Edward slowly elevated my back. He wanted to kiss me and hold me closer. I wanted it too. He just needed a bit of a hissing detour at my neck first, and I was not opposed.
I pressed him closer, running my hands through his hair and feverishly across his back.
"Bite," I directed in a ringing, sultry whisper.
Edward froze. He face was staggering, his eyes conflicted. He bared full teeth to me, his face coming in slowly, then paused, torn. He looked down and slowed down.
I redirected his face to mine, "BITE!" I threw my neck towards him, exaggerating the bend of it.
He didn't need a third invitation.
Edward clasped both sides of my face, tilting my head, eying me, appraising me. I held tightly to his body on my own without him holding me there.
He threw his head back widening his jaws. He growled, and then sharply turned my head away, bringing his teeth to lead the deadly kiss. Then he closed on my neck.
Jaws locked on me, I moaned in an awful condition of passionate, satisfying anguish.
Edward returned his hands to my legs and stroked into me slowly, reverently, while he growled helplessly into the stinging wound. He was trying to be gentle since he knew the venom had caught up to me.
"Don't hold back … God, don't… not now," I moaned, so strung out, as the venom seeped pitilessly through me. He nodded and broke to peck one sweet kiss upon my neck. Then he growled to end all, dropped us to the ground, and returned to my throat…
Each movement was fluid grace and lethal savagery. Each sound was other-worldly and yet earthy. Each stinging press into my skin felt like a gentle tickle as it re-healed. Each dig I made into the flesh of his back made him thrust into me harder, more excited, more bonded to me. Pain was again a relative, subjective concept.
As the venom bled into the living marble of my neck and shoulder, I came. Shivering, I held him close to me, his eyes burning right into mine as we held eye contact through my release. I think I may have squeezed him just a little too hard by accident, but he said nothing. He held nothing but love in his eyes. Pain had not weakened our love one iota.
He held still and kissed my cheek, while the venom slashed through me, abruptly halting his own very imminent release.
"Keep going…you're not fin-fin-."
"Shhh. Hush now, my insane angel." He kissed my still-healing neck. I winced away from the contact. The pain had moved solidly into the non-subjective category.
"Love, I'm so sorry. This is exactly the kind of thing that I feared would-"
"Edward, for the love of ponies… please don't start with the -."
"Okay, I'm not sorry. Is that better? Please don't upset yourself. I just hate that you're….Right, I'll stop."
"I'm going to be the only vampire in the world with a heart condition."
"Hey, I'm sorry about your neck too. Are you okay?" He snuggled in closer with me and laid his forehead against mine.
"Just like new," he kissed my nose with compassion, "Please don't worry about me, not right now, especially.
"That kind of thing is to be expected as we explore this …I don't even know what all of this is.
"But learning how to give yourself over to those feelings and still be present enough to make good choices is difficult, very," he finished sadly, fingers tracing my neck's new crescent marks. It was still smarting a bit, but I held still trying to help him feel less guilty.
"Well, there's one big difference."
"You mean apart from the point of neck injury and the intentional venom infliction?"
"No, you drama queen," I rolled my eyes, starting to feel just a little better and a little saucy. He rolled his too, but I'm betting against his eye roll being sauce-related. "You were invited. I wanted that, Edward."
He looked at me puzzled, waiting to hear more. "Okay… I don't know if you have ever had this particular glitch, but right there in that moment, I wanted you to bite me. I wanted to give that to you because I know how it feels when I want to do it to you. But we stop ourselves.
"And I fully understood the consequences that would bring. But I wanted your pleasure to be total…but then you just stopped… "
He nodded and touched my hair. "Bella, what you did …that's one of many beautiful, selfless, and very painful things you have done out of love for me. I hate myself for each one that I've caused.
"Love, please don't look at me like that. I'm not 'starting', I'm just explaining.
"But that's not a 'glitch' specific to you. I've almost offered myself to you like that on no less than six occasions tonight. I only stopped myself because I thought it might be too much for you to process if we… escalated. So much for not escalating. You haven't even been a vampire twenty-four hours yet and we've already..." he shook his head fondly savoring his memory, "but I digress…
"What you must always, always remember is that my pleasure lies with yours. Even when we engage the most corporeal aspects of ourselves - I HAVE to care for you. This is not a choice for me, Bella. I just love you this way. You're everything to me. Do you really imagine that I could truly enjoy anything that causes you suffering?"
"Actually, when we were in middle of things, it wasn't totally…um, painful. It was kind of turning me on more. "
"I keep saying it, you keep ignoring me, but you really are going to be the death of me. You understand that, yes?"
I rolled my eyes again, "But there's something else to it too, something more difficult, but important for me to say."
"Please, what is it?"
"Every bite on my body," he looked down as I continued, "except for the first one, is connected to you saving me… or a hungry little person. Now I digress..."
"Edward, I just wanted one bite, an intentional one from you that wasn't connected to anything else but your passion for me. Can you understand that?"
Edward's eyes fell into a sea of emotion. I couldn't tell if he was willing himself to cry or not to.
I kissed him and rolled myself over to straddle and sit up on him. I asked him a question with my eyes. He nodded yes and gently, sacredly guided himself up to the start of me. Saying back thank you and I love you with only his eyes. I pushed forward and welcomed him in the rest of the way, his broad palms caressing my thighs. We sighed together as I started rocking slowly.
Eye contact soft and kind, I nodded back and asked him, "Where do you want it?" I lightly massaged his neck tracing and identifying places I thought a bite scar would be sexy and not show over his collar.
"Them," he corrected, "I want two."
He pointed to a spot on his lower neck very near to one I picked out.
Then, killing me, to the spot directly over his heart.
He flexed his chest out to me, ready, rolling softly into to me from underneath. He spoke in a dreamy voice. "Please, my love…" He touched a gentle finger to my lips, outlining them.
"I will, I promise." I kissed his finger. "I'm just too in love with you right now. I've got to get back to being worked up enough to want to bite you. I just need a minute."
"A minute?" he raised his eyebrows mischievously, "Are you sure? Should we time you?"