Disclaimer: not mine
A/N: This happened when I was alone and depressed and feeling highly abandoned by my friends. So I feel like crap, but hey. At least I got something out of it.
Summary: Zach, alone, in the crazy-house, after the events of Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond. Hints of Hodgins/Angela, Booth/Brennan, and Zach/Cam.
Sweets knows, now. He knows that I didn't kill anyone. He knows that I only told the Master where the man was.
But somehow, it doesn't feel like anything is different.
I'm still here, in the mental asylum. I'm still alone. Always alone now.
Hodgins doesn't really visit all that much anymore. I mean, he does, but only once every two weeks. And Angela visits even less often. I never see Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth, or Dr. Saroyan.
No. Don't think about that. Never think about that. Not in here. Thoughts like that don't belong here. Here is a place for terrible people, who have done terrible things. Like me.
I have done terrible things. I don't get to have… that. Never. Not after… things.
I have to get used to being alone, now. My family doesn't want anything to do with me. And I guess my friends don't either.
My family is safer this way. There are still people out there who follow the Master, and I have to protect my family from them. And my friends, too.
I've been alone before this. I've always been alone in one way or another. Alienated by my peers because of my intelligence; ignored by my family because they don't understand, or want to understand, why I'm different. Even at the Jeffersonian, where I was happiest, I was alone. Hodgins was my friend, but he was always focused on Angela. Dr. Brennan was my mentor, but she was focused on the case and Agent Booth.
But I've never felt this alone before.
Like if I fell off the face of the earth, nobody would notice. Like if I vanished, not even my friends would care.
I know this is illogical. I know that they would care, and notice, but… I cannot shake the feeling that I am completely alone in the world.
And I sit, alone, in my tiny dark cell in the Loony Bin. I am King of the Loony Bin. But I don't want to be. I'd rather be the Court Jester of the Jeffersonian than King of the Loony Bin. I'll let Hodgins be King of the Lab if I can just go back.
I hate it here. I hate this.
How did this become my life? How did I get here?
Those questions are illogical. I know how this happened. I know what my choices were. I know what I did. But I still can wish that none of this happened.
And I do wish. Every night, I wish with all my heart (metaphorically speaking) that I had never…. But I did. And wishing won't change a thing.
But I still do. I wish so hard. I wish that we had never gotten the Gormogon case. I wish that I was still at the Jeffersonian. I wish that I had somehow managed to tell her that I….
But I'll never tell her now. I'll never tell anyone, because I will stay here until I die. I will never be free of this place, of my stupid decisions.
My heart is breaking. Metaphorically speaking, at least. And maybe literally, as well. I have never wanted anything as much as I want to be free from everything.
I never will, though.
I will always be alone.
A/N: Well, that was depressing. But it fits my mood, so there we go.