Then Title: Toys

Pairing: GrimmjowXSzayel

Anime: Bleach

Type: Lemony Yaoi

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach in anyway, but if I did Ulquiorra, Stark, Szayel, and some other people would not have died. Orihime would have and Momo would have died sooner. Oh and Jushiro wouldn't of freaking got stabbed by Wonderwice!!!! DX

Author's Note: This is for an art trade with my friend Keshra. I hope she enjoys this and knows how much I love her. She is why I'm doing this! :D Enjoy the yaoiness people!

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and Szayel Aporro Granz © Tite Kubo


Click. Click. Click.

That sound? What the hell is that sound? Where the hell am I? What the fuck is going on!? Why the hell can't I fucking move?! What hap-Oh…that fight with the Shinigami. Now I remember correctly, that fight with the Shinigami lead me to this. That stupid fight with Ichigo Kurosaki, it makes me sick. Why couldn't he have just killed me like a normal fighter would? Wouldn't it have been a lot simpler if he'd just done that? I just wanna scream! This isn't fair to me at all! Now I have to live with the fact that I lost to that good for nothing punk. I've never been so angry. I could just punch something. Maybe I'll kill that annoying clicking sound that's fucking irritating me!!!

Click. Click. Click.

That damn Aizen, damn him to hell! He wanted it to be this way didn't he? He wanted us to fight them and lose ourselves in those fights and get ourselves killed. We start thinking "Man, why am I going to face such a weakling? I could beat them with one hand tied behind my back", and then we are destroyed. Then it's too fucking late to wonder how it's even possible for us to be killed by them or to even stop and think "Man, maybe I should of just not fought them in the first place".

I couldn't open my eyes; it was like someone had nailed them shut. I tried lifting my body, but it felt so heavy. That fight I had with the Shinigami, the fight with Ichigo Kurosaki. It almost killed me, but I kept going after him. I wanted to feel as though I was on top, as though I was king. I AM KING! I am king, aren't I? Or am I just a pawn? Aizen sees himself as God, our God, but if he stands on top, then where does that leave me? Aizen sends us on mission after mission to collect hollows, data, basically anything that can further his cause for complete control over the worlds. So far I've followed his every word, I killed when he said kill, and I destroyed when he said destroy.

My previous question, am I just a pawn?

Click. Click. Click.

OKAY! THAT'S IT! I'M FUCKING TIRED OF THAT SOUND!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! I started to struggle, wincing from the pain from the wounds of the previous battle. Nnoitra had stepped in and got me good in neck. After that blow, everything went black for me. That didn't matter now! What did matter was getting the hell out of this. I can't take that sound. I just want to scream.

"Sweetie, try not to move ok?"

That voice…that sweet voice? Is that-?

"If you move you'll reopen old wounds, it's a hassle sewing them back up for you. I do enjoy surgery; but-just don't move k?" The voice asked kindly. Something inside me told me to stop moving. The feeling of wanting to listen to the voice sickened me. I'm Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez! Sexta Espada!!! I don't listen to anyone or feel bad about anything and I definitely don't listen to that freakin' Szayel!

Warm?

A hand graced my forehead; it wasn't that spandex feeling either. Hs hand was bare, nothing on it at all. I leaned into it softly and sighed. Wait! I can't give into that, that, GRRR! I gotta get up and outta this mess. I struggled even more to open my eyes; I was finally able to open them. My vision blurred as though I haven't opened my eyes in years, like I had just awakened from a coma. I looked around trying to distinguish the blobs. I suppose I was still disorientated and in a daze. I then could see the beautiful pale skin, those silky cherry locks, and those loving golden eyes, but they seemed different. As though all the sparkle that was in them had disappeared. Why did he look that way? Wait, I'm staring. My face became heated. What the hell?! I quickly looked away from him.

"You're awake?" He sounded shocked, but looked really relieved. It surprised me that the cold blooded scientist actually showed a little concern. I couldn't believe it at all. Szayel Aporro Granz, the 8th Espada of Sosuke Aizen's Arrancar Army, actually looked really concerned, and for me no less. Has the fucking world gone completely mad and I'm just here for the ride?! I looked at him and I glared.

"Oh come on now!" He whined with what I believed was a pout. "I save you from the brink of death and you give me a glare?! That is so horrid it's so, so…unfabulous!"

"Listen ya queer! I didn't ask for your pathetic help! If I wanted it I woulda asked for it! Did I ask!?" I growled out at him while sitting up. "WELL!?"

"N-no you didn't but-"

"But nothing!!! If I wanted your help, I woulda asked for it! Now kindly get the fuck away from me!" I yelled at him and stood. I winced at the pain feeling wounds reopen from the sudden movement, but I couldn't show weakness in front of this guy. Szayel's the type to prey upon the weakness of others. He analyzes and dissects all the little imperfections anyone may have until he finds one that's truly worth looking at and finally uses it to crush his opponent.

I stared at him and his eyes just looked so sad. It was like I destroyed an experiment of his he'd been working on for weeks or something. It was really starting to fucking irritate me. I can't believe that he's acting like this. Usually he doesn't give two shits about anyone, but himself. What is he hiding? What does he want from me? He sighed softly and just stood. That clicking sound appeared again. Damnit! I hate that fucking sound! I looked at him, my anger flaring. He pulled a small little device out of his pocket and clicked a button. The clicking suddenly stopped. So it was him eh? Now I'm even more pissed off.

"What the fuck is that thing? Pissin' me off and fuckin' wakin' me up," I growled out to him. He looked at me and had a thoughtful expression. He then grinned and held it out to show me.

"This, my dear Sexta Espada," He started, his voice dripping with enough sweetness to put a diabetic in a coma. He looked so fuckin' proud of himself. "Is my H.N.U!"

"H.N.U? Tch! Sounds stupid to me," I muttered, but he just pouted again. Damn those pink lips of his, they look so...so-CUT IT OUT! Damnit Grimmjow! Don't let this weak excuse for an Espada get to you!

"H.N.U means Handheld Nursing Unit. It's simply a device that takes in a blood sample and in 30 seconds analyzes said blood of the victim's-I mean patient's and then finally giving me a detailed account on what occurred inside and outside the victim-rather patient's body."

I hated how he said that. It sounded like he was amused with it, but also he seemed to enjoy using the word victim a lot. I sighed and scratched my head and at that point I finally took in my surroundings. We were in Szayel's destroyed lab. It seems that the Shinigami had already taken his lab and stole some items. I found at this. Even if I hated the guy I had to admit that those Shinigami seemed really cruel to do something like this. Destroying a man's life work is one thing, but stealing parts of it? It's insanity! No wonder his eyes have a hint of sadness in them.

"How many are left?" I asked him, the sudden question shocked him slightly. He sighed and frowned.

"Well counting you that makes hm…" He tapped his chin softly, pondering. "Six of us left, only six, not counting some fraccions."

"Who are left?"

"You, myself, Nel Tu, Stark, Halibel, and Ulquiorra,"

"Did they suffer any losses?"

"…No…" He looked even sadder. I groaned and sat next to him. I winced while sitting. I would have thought that stupid Kurosaki woulda had that whore of his heal me, but I guess Nnoitra was too distracting, that bastard Nnoitra. I thank the man who took him on and won. That bastard is better left dead than alive.

"Well ain't that a bitch?" I grunted out. He looked over and me and blinked in surprise. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "What now?"

"O-Oh nothing," He looked away. My eyes must have been tricking me because I thought I saw a soft blush appear on his cheeks. I blinked and my anger slowly disappeared, as though having him blush seemed to make me feel a little better about everything.

"So what do you think we should do now? How is everyone who is left? What about Aizen and his lackeys? They still alive?" I asked him with a serious face.

"Just Aizen and Gin are left," He said to me softly. "We're hiding here to be honest. I was able to put up a barrier and hide us while you healed. It seems that the Shinigami are still running around Hueco Mundo. If we aren't careful they could catch us while we're here and unprotected."

"But you're fully healed-"

"No I'm not," He said with a defeated sigh. "Have you not noticed Grimmjow? That I've only been using my right arm; my left arm is completely broken. All the equipment I've been using was…"

He stopped right there and that depressed look became more apparent. I felt a small tug at my heart. It was starting to make me angry. I balled my fist and looked away, my face becoming heated. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. I noticed him messing with a different hand-held device. I sighed softly to myself and looked around the ruined laboratory.

Wires hanging from the ceiling along with some tubing and pipes, machines burned and left in shambles, the floor has small craters, and the worst part was, Szayel's "baby", the large mainframe computer named Pinky. I never understood why he named his computer that, but never the less; Szayel loved Pinky more than anything. That was his brain child and his one and only. Seeing a huge gaping hole in the monitor deeply disturbed me. I wondered why Szayel never sad anything about it. He just kept quiet, usually when he's pissed off he bitches for a while, but this, this must be really hurting him. Hold on now, not that I care, but I rather not have him pissed off when he's healing me and then wanting to kill me while I'm passed out or something.

"The Shinigami are still here, which means Aizen is still in that fake Karakura," Szayel said aloud, I looked over at him and blinked.

"Well fuck," I yawned and scratched the back of my head. "Damn Aizen why would he-"

"Why would I what Grimmjow?"

"Huh?"

That voice! That voice with an amused, yet sarcastic tone. Sounding so cool, yet so menacing at the same time, there's not mistake whose voice that is. It was Sosuke Aizen!

"Well Grimmjow?" He asked with a smirk on his face. He walked right up to us in all his glory. My eyes went wide in disbelief. Szayel had the same expression as me, but with much more malice. "No response hm? Just as I would expect from you, all bark, but no bite. Or should I say all meow?"

I glared at him. I hate it when people do that! I am no cat or kitten! Fucking pisses me off when they fucking do that! I really wanted to shoot cero in that mother fucker's face, but sadly I never got the chance to. Before I knew it, he had already put a bondage kido around my body. I blinked in surprise and watched him walk over to Szayel. He grabbed him roughly by the arm and took a small pod out. Szayel cried out in pain as Aizen grabbed his broken arm. He dropped the small pod on the floor and a small mattress popped out of it. I was incredibly confused on what would happen, but Szayel's face looked horrified. I, then finally realized, he was about to do the unspeakable to Szayel.

He pushed the cherry haired Espada down on his knees in front of him. Szayel was kneeling on the bed, Aizen's hand pushed him down hard into a position. He winced at the pain and stopped himself from crying out in horrible pain. He was then pushed onto his back and Aizen quickly got on top of him. Once realization hit me like a train. I quickly started to struggle from the kido hold.

"No use Grimmjow," Aizen started with a sinister look on his face. "Those are made of my kido; they will hold you no matter what. So if I were you I would stop trying and just enjoy the show."

I blinked and looked at Szayel. The appearance on his face showed great disgust, but also there was a great trepidation finding it way across his soft skin. I grimaced miserably and continued to watch the scene unfold before my very eyes. Szayel struggled violently, but his action failed. They could only make Aizen grin even more, and with that grin, his sadistic side showing more. Finally with a swift punch to the jaw, Aizen used a small kido spell to restrain his arms and drain his Szayel's reitsu.

He whimpered in pain and then started to weaken. The fight that was in him started dying and Aizen licked his lips. He gripped his chin and kissed his lips softly.

"My little Cherry," Aizen purred in a cruel manner. "Tonight I will make you scream so loud it will shatter Grimmjow's eardrums."

"Please," Szayel pleaded, blinking back tears. "Don't make him watch this!"

"And why should I not Szayel? Are you ashamed of this? Of our joyful union or maybe you don't want him to watch because he is-"

"SHUT UP!" Szayel screamed. Aizen looked down at him with an extremely hateful look and slapped him across the face hard. He then pushed him completely down and ripped his clothing apart.

*************

What happened next I honestly don't remember. I blacked out, but from what I could remember, Szayel looked so scared. That look of pain and the horror on his face, it just scared me. I remember Aizen's body on the ground in a mass of blood and flesh. After that, everything went hazy again.

I woke up a while later in what looked to be an undamaged part of Las Noches. I had to be in one of the medical rooms. I looked around at the completely white walls. I sighed softly at the boredom and the coldness of them. I noticed I was hooked up to some machines and bandaged. I blinked slowly in wonder. How did I end up here? Wait! Szayel! What happened to Szayel!? I started to panic. It really scared me, what if I couldn't find him at all? I need to find him!

I pulled the covers off and suddenly noticed that I was only wearing underwear. I blinked slowly and then a familiar reitsu hit my senses. My eyes narrowed in annoyance. I don't wanna see him right now. That fucking bastard, I hate him so much. Aizen's personal ass-kisser, that cocky asshole who thinks he's better than everyone just because he was practically a right hand to Aizen.

"Grimmjow,"

"What the fuck do you want Ulquiorra?" I growled at him. He didn't blink or show any signs of emotion. He just stared at me.

"By Szayel's request, you are to stay in bed," He said with a stoic voice. He then walked to me; he started to check me over. I smacked his hand away and glared.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I growled out loudly at him and he just raised an eyebrow and stared at me. I stared back with my classic scowl.

"Grimmjow," He said with his emotionless voice. "You really are quite the imbecile."

"Why don't you suck my nuts!?"

"Truly the tragic idiot," He said in a monotone fashion. My left eye started to twitch with anger. I was getting so pissed off at him. I couldn't believe that he was doing this. He always finds a way to annoy the living fuck out of me. I swear I just wanna ring his neck sometimes! He must do this on purpose or something. Just for shits and giggles, he wants to piss me the fuck off and he gets some sick sadistic satisfaction that Nnoitra usually would in a situation like this. I'm getting so fucking tired of his bullshit! I just wanna-!

"Now now Ulquiorra, stop pestering him ok? He's been through enough," A lazy sounding voice uttered. I looked over at the door and saw Stark walking in. His little fraccion was following him, what was her name? Lily something, not that I really cared about her anyway, I sighed in annoyance. I looked at the strongest of us all in question. I wondered why he would come visit me. Usually I would just annoy him and he'd say I was way too loud and that he couldn't nap around me. Why would be interested in talking to me now?

"What do you want?" I grunted with aggravation and sat up fully. The covered pulled back over my lower area. Even though I was clothed, that was still a little too much information I was willing to share with these three, especially Ulquiorra.

"You killed Aizen,"

"I did what now?" I looked at him and blinked in confusion. "You're joking right? How could I beat him? He's like incredibly powerful. How would that even be possible?"

"We're not sure, but Szayel informs us that you defeated him. We found the three of you in the ruins of Szayel's lab. We looked over and saw the heap of flesh and blood that was Aizen," Stark looked absolutely bored as he was telling me this, like he was talking about the weather or something of unimportance. However his eyes held a curiosity for the fact that he couldn't figure this out.

"So lemme get this straight," I started with a thoughtful tone in my voice. "You're saying that I, number 6 Espada, who is supposedly weaker than you and Mr. Emo over there, was able to single-handedly defeat Aizen?"

"YUP!!!" That girl giggled. Her voice was sure as hell irritating. Jeeze how could Stark deal with that on a daily basis? If that were me I woulda killed her by now, but I guess I can understand why he keeps her around. She is apart of his resurreccion form.

This was starting to get interesting. I looked at him and a smirk appeared on my face. Now I was starting to get it, the pawn, the rogue knight, he killed the most important piece, the king. Now the knight could take over as the King. Finally, I will be King like I'm supposed to be. I've always been the king and now these suckers will have to respect that. Ulquiorra stared at me with what appeared to be a knowing glance. He rolled his eyes and looked at Stark quickly. Stark blinked slowly and looked at him. He then yawned loudly and looked over at me.

"If you're thinking that you can go around and start ordering us then you are horribly mistaken Grimmjow," Ulquiorra said simply and continued. "I will not allow you to lead us because you are so careless when it comes to conflict that you are labeled as an amateur. You would lead us to a hopeless demise that would result in horrendous tribulations of epic proportions that would in fact be out of our and most importantly your control. If you were our leader things would just become even worse than they already are. You tend to not be able to comprehend the fallout of your methods therefore would lead to such lengths of annihilation for our very existences. Could you honestly be prepared to handle such a heavy burden with being able to make sound judgment? I honestly think not."

"You know I tuned you out at "you are horribly mistaken Grimmjow" because I really don't give a flyin' fuck whatcha think Ulquiorra," I stated plainly. Of course Ulquiorra wasn't happy upon hearing this and proceeded out of the room. I blinked for a moment and just watched him go. Usually when I deal with Ulquiorra, one of two things happen:

He stares at me for a moment, says a small speech, and then proceeds to beat the living shit out of me. OR!

He stares after giving a speech and walks away as though he is too intelligent to deal with you right now, but in actuality he just doesn't want to remove the mask of stoicness because he is in fact annoyed by you.

I looked over at Stark and his little friend and blinked. They looked back at me and Stark proceeded to shake his head. He looked like he was a little irritated with the outcome of all this. He then walked closer to me and pulled the chair over to sit. He looked at me and yawned. He was starting to annoy the living shit out of me.

"Szayel said you saved him," Stark said and I blinked. I looked over with a questioning stare and Stark nodded knowingly. "He said this sort of thing has happened before. Aizen's always been that way. He's always gone after the pretty ones."

"He doesn't deserve that crap. I can't understand why Aizen would do something like that. It's a horrible horrible thing! Is Szayel ok? Where is he!?" I didn't realize I raised my voice. Stark looked a little taken back by my sudden tone.

"Heh so my assumption was correct," Stark said and I looked at him with a curious glance. "Don't worry kiddo, Szayel's doing fine. He's in his lab right now trying to rebuild. Ulquiorra probably went to tell him you woke up and-"

"GRIMMJOW!!!!"

A blur of pink and white flew by Stark and slammed into me. I fell back and blinked slowly. Suddenly a stab of pain was made apparent and I yelled out. I then looked down and saw the whimper and sniffling being holding onto me for dear life. A bright red blush started to creep over my face and I looked at Stark who seemed amused by all of this. I pushed the person off of myself and sat up quickly.

"Sza-Szayel?" I questioned with surprise. He was in tears and looked up at me. The blush on my face turned as bright as a tomato. "W-Why are you-?"

"Grimmjow! Grimmjow!" He cried out and hugged me tightly again. "You're my hero! I was so worried! You saved me!!!"

"Dude am I being punk'd? Is Kurosaki going to pop out with a camera and laugh at me now or something?" I asked and Stark looked at me like I was crazy. He then got up and left the room.

"We'll leave you two lovebirds alone, come Lillynette," He said and the small girl followed giggling the entire time. I looked down at Szayel and didn't realize that my arms circled around his fragile feminine form and held onto him. I blinked in realization and quickly pushed him away from myself. He looked up at me with a confused and hurt expression. I stared back with an annoyed scowl.

"What the fuck you lookin' at?" I grunted and Szayel sighed.

"You can't even accept a simple thank you now can you?" He asked me with exasperated tone. "I come in here to thank you for stopping what would usually happen on a normal basis to not happen, but it appears that even you won't admit to your kind deeds. Modesty is a sexy trait Mr. Six."

"W-What? Call me retarded, but I'm seriously not following you," I said with an honest face and a giggle erupted from him. I was taken back by the sudden shift in his attitude. Was he always this moody? First, he's annoyed, now he seems so amused. He almost seems so freakin' bipolar I dunno what his deal was.

Then it happened.

Soft lips connected to mine in such a sudden motion that I didn't know what to do, say, or think. I was so confused at the time because Szayel acted like everyone was a toy. Something he could play with in his own twisted way and use for experiments. In a he seemed a little like Aizen. Aizen loved to use everyone to his advantage and treat us like toys, a child's play thing he was able to find joy in one moment, but cast away the next because of his boredom.

Szayel was different though. Even though he loved pissing people off and wrapping others around his finger, the feeling I felt right now seemed to be incredibly genuine and passionate. I never felt a kiss like this before. Sure I fucked around with the other Arrancar, but compared to this feeling it was indescribable. I felt myself deepening the kiss gently; it was amazing that I was actually being gentle with him. Usually I'm a very aggressive and brutal person. I never hesitate to use force with anyone. I felt him sucking on my lower lip and I opened my mouth slowly. We proceeded to taste each other. Vanilla, fresh mint, and cherries, I will never forget how he first tasted at that very moment. I then started to become aggressive in the act; I pushed him back more as though it was a large cat devouring a carcass. He whimpered softly which snapped me back into reality. I quickly pulled away and looked worried. I saw there was a large bruise on his lips along with a small cut. Did I really hurt him that bad?

"I'm really sorry I just-"

"Don't apologize," Szayel said with smirk. He seemed to have enjoyed the slight punishment I gave him. I frowned and licked the small cut I made with my fang on his lip. He smiled brightly at me and hugged me again.

"Jeeze," I sighed and looked down at him, I was really blushing. This isn't good if it gets out I got a soft spot for this guy then I'm done for. What the fuck am I suppose to do? I hate the fact that he's able to get under my skin so easily. I pushed him away quickly and got up; I started pulling the wires off from the machines that were attached to me. I looked around and picked up my new clothes that were placed on a chair on the other side of my room. I quickly put them on and turned to him. I glared at him and he looked surprised at my glare.

"Are you mad?"

"Listen," I started with a commanding voice. "This has gotta stop, we can't go around kissin' each other. People would think we're gay and stuff. I mean it's obvious you are, but me? I don't think so; I got a reputation ya know?"

"I see," He said softly, that sudden happiness completely destroyed with those words. Those horrible words, then I said the one thing I wish I could have taken back. I'm a fucking idiot!

"It's not like I like you that way anyway," I said with a smile, but now, stupid move Grimmjow, stupid move. "You don't like me like that now do you?"

"…I," He was looking down; those beautiful bubble gum locks hid his face. He was trembling like a leaf and I looked confused.

"Szayel I-"

"Shut up," He finally was able to say. "Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez, I hate you!"

"What?" I was shocked and watched him walk out of the room quickly, almost running. I reached out for him, but he was gone. I groaned and sat down. "I'm a total dumbass."

*************

I spent the rest of the day alone, not wanting to see anyone. The fact that Szayel ran off wasn't the largest issue, but the fact I stupidly denied my feelings. I've been having feelings for him since he turned into an Arrancar. I still remember it like it was yesterday…

"Another Arrancar I see," Aizen's cold voice uttered. "Send him in Ulquiorra."

"As you wish Aizen-sama," Ulquiorra said with a stoic expression on his face. He walked over to the large doors and opened them slowly. I was standing there looking serious, I couldn't show weakness, not in front of these people. I mean I'm the new Sexta Espada for crying out loud! Fucking assholes I have to work with or for. I looked at the open doors, my so called heart stopped. I couldn't believe my eyes.

The he walked in. He looked so perfect, such a beauty. He wore a skin tight latex top that seemed to connect white gloves. The top had two black stripes going down it on his right shoulder and down his chest. His pants were loose hakamas and he wore black socks with white sandals. His slender frame looked so fragile like a flower, but that could fool anyone. He used such fragility to hide those thrones he would kill you with. His pink plump lips looked so kissable that I almost jumped over and tackled him into a kiss. That flawless skin I wanted to rub my own skin against made me tense in anticipation. His golden eyes held a wicked and sadistic feeling. Then finally those short strawberry locks, they seemed to frame his face perfectly as well as his mask that was in the shape of glasses. I wanted him so bad.

"Szayel Aporro Granz," He said with a grin. "It's somewhat of a pleasure to meet you all, some more so than others of course."

"Yylordte Granz bro!" The blonde next to him boomed loudly. He had a stupid grin on his face. I didn't notice the blonde next to him until he said something.

"Ah the Granz Brothers," Aizen said with his normal cool tone. "Please come and meet your other brothers and sisters."

I was staring with an open mouth. I never realized I did it until Gin so kindly pointed it out. He chuckled at me and patted my back. I looked at him with confusion, but he opened his mouth to comment.

"If ya keep lookin' like that, yer face is gonna stick like it," He grinned and walked over to stand near Aizen's throne. I was glaring at him and never noticed Szayel until he touched my shoulder.

"Hello," He said with a smile. "I'm Szayel Aporro Granz, what's your name?"

"Uhhhh…"

"Uhhh? I don't think that's an actual name," He said with a giggle and I blushed deeply. I then swallowed the lump in my throat and growled out at him.

"The names Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez, you better remember that!"

"I'm a fool…"

*************

A few weeks past ever since Szayel said he hated me. I felt awful and I barely left my room. I didn't want to be seen by anyone right now, especially not Szayel. This entire thing was just too much. I was so foolish and ruined the one relationship I could have had. I hated myself, I didn't care anymore. As I laid in the bed I stared into space. I was contemplating my death. I didn't want to exist anymore of Szayel couldn't be by my side.

I laid in bed for a long time one day. I didn't even get up to walk around. My hair was becoming a mess, I was developing a 5 o' clock shadow, my clothing was dirty, and I was just completely and utterly gone. I was drifting in and out of consciousness and finally blacked out. Then the dream happened.

I was so cold, so so cold. The white walls around me were glaring and burning into my memory. I couldn't keep staying in this place. I just wanted to leave. The ground was wet around me as though it had just rained. I looked over in a puddle and my reflection was that of my Adjucha form. It's been a while since I've seen it. That form was so beast-like, I suppose that's why people refer to me as a kitty. I looked around once more and I saw the ceiling disappear. I quickly jumped out and turned into my Arrancar form. I was standing in the middle of Aizen's throne room. I looked so confused as to how this happened.

"Grimmjow," Aizen's voice rang in my ears. "You're too late, I've already broken him. He is now my slave…"

"What?! Who!?" I growled out at him. Aizen smirked and his eyes shifted off to the side. I followed and looked over. Fear washed over me. It couldn't of happened! Why!?

"Aizen-sama," The weak voice of Szayel said. His eyes were blank and lacking life. He arms were being held by Ulquiorra and Yammy. He looked like he just got out of battle. His body shaking and spirit broken, I wanted to cry. I ran over and pushed them both off.

"SZAYEL! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"Grimmjow? Do you not remember?" Szayel said in a monotone voice.

"Yes Grimmjow," Aizen said as he was behind me. That sinister amused smirk on his face made me want to punch him. I felt his cold lips on my ear as he whispered to me. "You don't remember how this happened? You did this to Szayel you know. You lost control again…"

"W-What?! But I-"

I was in a dark area now. Everyone was gone, I was all alone again. Then I heard the violent screams and I ran forward towards it. I saw myself on top of him. My expression was very beast-like. As though I had completely given in and made myself this way. My eyes were red and the pupils completely black. My nails like claws and my fangs longer. There I was ripping away the rest of his sanity and innocence; it was a horrible thing to watch. I was a complete animal, I had lost myself. I screamed and tried to fight him, but I just couldn't get any closer. And with a final scream…

I woke up crying; picturing my Szayel being hurt so horribly. It made my heart ache painfully. To think I could be capable and out of a right mind to do that. I wonder if this has a connection to what I said to him. Maybe this dream is saying if I can hurt him so badly with words I might as well have beaten and violated him in my dreams. I got up quickly and ran out of my room. I ran to the only pink door in the hallway and bagged on it loudly. I was panting hard, but I didn't care, I needed to see him.

"SZAYEL!" I cried out and the door slid open quickly. I felt myself fall in. I put too much weight into my fists. I looked around at the broken room, the furniture and experiments all over the floor. Glass was broken and metal scraps were sticking out of the walls. In the middle of the mess was a round pink bed and in that bed a small fragile body curled up in the middle.

I cautiously walked over to it. Some of his fraccions stood around him sobbing sadly. They were asking if Szayel was alright and if he would move. I looked at Lumina and Verona and frowned. They looked over at me crying and hugged my legs.

"Master Szayel Aporro won't get up!" Verona said whimpering.

"Won't get up! Won't get up!" Lumina cried out. I pushed them both off softly and walked over to him. I sat on the edge of the bed and petted his head. He shifted slightly and looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot. My expression became grimmer. I didn't want to cause him such sadness. Fuck I'm an idiot!

"Szayel," I said softly and he looked away from me. I could tell he wanted me to leave.

"Go away Number 6," He said in a dull voice. Those words hurt me deeply, especially with the coldness of his dull voice to back them up. Is this what he felt like when I said that I didn't like him? God I'm so sorry Szayel…

"Szayel we need to talk," I said softly, I looked at Verona and Lumina. They took the hint and bounced themselves out. I focused back on Szayel and sighed softly. "About what I said I just-"

"Shut up," He said and sat up quickly. He turned his back and hugged himself. "Just leave because I have nothing to say to you!"

"NO!" I yelled at him. I pulled him into my arms and held him close. "Listen to me! I regret what I said before! I love you Szayel! I love you! I was just scared that I would hurt you somehow. That I would turn into a monster just like Aizen was. I don't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry for everything I did, for everything I said. So please…"

"Grimmjow…" He whispered to me. My voice was trembling the entire time. He turned to me and I looked down at him. I leaned down and our lips met once more. That soft feeling against me, it felt so right. I pushed him on his back softly and kissed him deeper. My hands found the zipper to his spandex outfit. I slowly unzipped it. Removing the shell that wrapped around his soft body, he smiled at me.

I leaned down and licked a soft nipple and smiled at the moan he made. He was enjoying himself like he should. I was truly happy. I licked down his body and heard a whimper. I looked up wondering if I hurt him and just saw his flushed face. I grew concerned.

"What's wrong Szayel?"

"Your tongue, it's rough like a cat," He said with a blush and looked away. "It feels really good when you do that…"

I blushed and looked down at his body. I had a rough tongue that turned him on more? Well then I'll use this to my advantage. I removed his pants easily and spotted the hollow hole right above his manhood. So that's where it had been? I was always curious as to where it was. I licked inside the hole and heard him cry out loudly. I looked up and saw him panting. I then looked down and noticed it made him really hard.

Smirking I leaned down even more and went completely past his manhood. I liked the number 8 that was on his inner thigh and received a shiver in response. I started nipping and licking at his inner thighs. My hand snaked it way up to start playing with one of his nipples. The sounds he made were so sexy that they were making me hard. I then moved to his dick and grinned. I looked up at him and he looked so fragile, his face showing ecstasy. I just wanted to kiss him all over he looked so beautiful.

I then began to move my tongue up and down his shaft. He trembled under me. I moved it up and down and noticed the pre-cum forming at the head. I lapped it up and then stood. I quickly removed my own clothing and grinned at him. I held out two fingers to Szayel and he put them in his mouth quickly. He licked them all over and I smirked. I then moved them down and pushed them into his tight hole. He cried out softly and I stopped. I waited for him to adjust. Once he gave a nod I continued on.

I started to do a scissoring motion with my two fingers and got moans in response. He was whimpering and shivering under me that I couldn't take it. I had to fuck his tight ass. So I stroked myself and pushed into his hole slowly. He was so fucking tight. Jeeze I just couldn't control it, but I had to. I didn't want to scare him. I looked down and pushed all the way in. I saw him wince and frowned. I waited, if I fuck him now and fast he won't want me anymore. He'll be too frightened by me. He looked up at me and nodded. I started to thrust. The entire night was filled with the sounds of our love making. I was finally able to mark Szayel as mine.

*************

I woke up alone. I started to freak out thinking it had been a dream, but I realized my lack of clothing and surroundings proved otherwise. I quickly dressed and got up. I started to get even more frantic. I had to find him; I didn't want him to leave me. I had just marked him as mine, how could he leave me like that?! I started pushing things over in my search. Looking through all the garbage and broken stuff, I cut my hands multiple times, but I didn't care. I had to find Szayel.

"SZAYEL!?" I cried out in a hysterical tone. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and quickly turned around. I saw the pink haired male holding two cups. One with coffee and the other with milk, I blinked slowly and hugged him tightly.

"Grimmjow?" He asked with a confused voice. "I only left to make some coffee and get you some milk. You don't have to freak out on me when I leave the room you know."

"I know," I started in a desperate sounding tone. I looked at him as I held his arms. My tone turned a lot more annoyed. "I just don't want that feelin' of loneliness and not having ya here ya know? Tch not like I was cryin' or nothin'."

"Grimmy," He said with a giggle and set the cups down on a table that wasn't really destroyed. He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I sat down and looked at him.

"What?"

"You've made me really happy you know?" He asked while looking at me with a smile. "Now I feel like this existence is meaningful."

I smiled at him; at that point my existence seemed to hold meaning as well. A lot of things happened. Before I got to this point in my life I just lived for the thrill of killing. I believed that killing people was the only thing I would live for. Szayel and I took that day to talk. We talked about each other, what we liked, disliked, everything. We learned a lot about each other. I look back at this part of my existence as a beginning. Now I'm not poet, but what I said is really how I felt and still do feel. It began from there. The weeks started to go by and Szayel and I were as happy as possible. The passing weeks made me reflect on my existence as an Arrancar so far.

As I lived as an Espada for Aizen, all I did was what was commanded of me. Even if at times I flew off the handle and tried to kill someone that I wasn't suppose to. As an Arrancar in Aizen's army, we were taught to obey or suffer consequences. We were treated as pawns, as Aizen's toys. As toys were could be created and destroyed in the same day. We could be modified or just ignored. Some toys more valuable than the others, but to Aizen, all his toys were to be used and destroyed. I'm glad that I had killed Aizen, even if I don't truly remember it. Aizen forgot something as he worked on his conquest. He forgot that even if hollows are made out to be mindless killing machines, some of us hollows aren't. We aren't objects, we exist, and we have our own minds and bodies and even hearts. I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but it's true. He might still be alive if he learned to stop treating us as pawns and started treating us like we're something.

As I live out the rest of my existence, I'm happy. I'm happy to awake to a new night, knowing that Szayel is there for me. I'm happy to know that I have someone who looks forward to spending my life with me. Maybe that's why Aizen was so crazy. He didn't have anyone. I always thought Gin was his lover, but I guess I was wrong. If he has Gin, why would he go after Szayel? I guess when you're a crazy evil genius you'll do whatever you feel like.

"Hey Grimmjow,"

"Huh?" I looked up from where I was laying. I must have zoned out again or something.

"You zoned out on me again," Szayel said with the cutest pout. I smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"Can you ever forgive me? For everything?" I asked with a sincere voice. He blinked and looked confused. He then made a thoughtful face and grinned wickedly.

"Well," He started and then grinned. "Only if you kiss me like you mean it."

And I did.

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