Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, or Rugrats.
An: Thanks to the excitement of some loyal reviewers of mine, I'm starting this just a little bit sooner than expected. Enjoy!
"I believe in the playground" said one-year old Buffy Summers to a mysterious figure sitting behind a large desk. Her baby sister, Dawn, sat in a pram beside her. "It's my favouritest place in the whole world. But, two yesterdays ago, a bad thing happened while we was playing there. Some big kids took my sister's binky and buried it in the sandbox."
"Binky buh-bye" said Dawn sadly.
"They maked my sister cry" Buffy continued, as Dawn whimpered. "So I said 'Dawnie, this is a job for the Bobfather'." The figure at the desk spun around, revealing herself as Buffy and Dawn's three-year old cousin Cordelia. She currently wore a moustache of milk and cookie crumbs.
"You come to me on the day of this wedding" she said in a mafia-style Italian accent, "And ask me to take care of the kids who made your sister cry?"
"No" Buffy frowned. "Dawn just wants a new binky."
"That's it?" yelled Cordy, jumping up on the desk. "A binky? I don't get to squeeze no-ones head, or pull no-ones hair?"
"Uh.. no" Buffy repeated.
"Binky pease" said Dawn.
"Dumb baby, can't even make a good wish" Cordelia grumbled to herself, then sighed, holding a hand out towards Dawn. "Okay, kiss my ring." Dawn bent forward, but instead of kissing the ring she began to suck on the red plastic stone like it was a binky. "Eww!" Cordy cried, pulling her now drool-covered hand away from Dawn, and gesturing for she and Buffy to leave. "Go send the next ones in, and tell them to bring a sponge!"
Buffy took Dawn and headed out of Cordy's makeshift office and back into the function room where the reception of Giles' wedding to Jenny Calendar was taking place. Giles was the cousin of Buffy and Cordelia's fathers Hank and Carl. He had met Jenny after she helped point them in the right direction to find the children when they'd been lost in a forest a few months before, and the pair had really hit it off, aside from some slight disagreements over whether books or computers were a better source of information. Nearby, Buffy's friends Willow and Tara were dancing with another friend, Fred.
"Nine, eleven, uh, twenty.." said Willow, staring at her feet and trying to count her steps. Tara was doing the same thing.
"Willow, Tara" Fred laughed. "You're not 'sposed to look at your feet when you're dancing."
"We g-gots to, Fred" said Tara.
"They keep getting all tanglied up!" said Willow. The little redhead tripped over her loose shoelaces and fell, but Fred caught her, giggling. On a nearby table, Buffy's other two friends Xander and Anya were making quite a mess as they tried to climb up the many tiered wedding cake.
"Faster, Xander!" Anya cried. "We gots to get to the peoples on top!"
"I got dibs on the feets!" said Xander as he tried to push his friend higher.
"Xander, Anya" Buffy said solemnly as she passed by, "The Bobfather will see you now." Xander and Anya slid down the cake, completely ruining one side of it, and jumped off the table, heading towards Cordy's 'office'. The little Bobfather's parents, Carl and Candice, were dancing nearby.
"I can't believe Cordelia saw that movie last night" said Carl worriedly. Cordy had seen part of 'The Godfather', which explained her behaviour.
"Well I can't mother and merger at the same time" Candice frowned, having had a busy time at work recently. "Besides, she only saw a scene or two, it couldn't have made an impression.."
Xander and Anya now stood in Cordelia's 'office'.
"Uh, Bobfather, we founded this in my crib last time Xander stayed over.." Anya held up the broken head of her rocking horse.
"Well that's what you get for wiping your boogers all over Harmony!" Cordy snapped.
"So that's where I left 'em!" Xander exclaimed.
Buffy and Dawn were now dancing on the DJ's turntables. Well, Buffy was dancing, Dawn was just wriggling and bouncing. Their mother's friend Robin Wood lifted them off, while the DJ, music loving demon named Lorne, grabbed a microphone.
"Now" said the Lorne, "Let's give a warm round of applause to the number one newlyweds out of this week's top ten married couples... Mr Rupert Giles, and Mrs Jenny Calendar!" The crowd cheered as Giles and Jenny stepped out from behind a curtain. Music played, and the couple began to dance.
"Come on Jenny, let's show the youngsters how it's done" Giles grinned.
"So Ira, think you'll tie the knot again?" Xander's mom, Jessica, asked Willow's dad, Ira, as they watched the newlyweds dance. "'Cause I've got a cousin who's lookin'. Big bones, broad shoulders, and she can eat her weight in pie in one sitting!"
"Uh, thanks Jessica, but pie gives me hives.. so does dating" Ira looked around, wanting to change the subject. "Gee, Giles and Jenny sure can boogie."
It was now Willow and Tara's turn to visit the Bobfather.
"You're like family to me Rosenberg, you too Maclay" said Cordelia in her Mafia accent. "Name your wishes."
"Um, uh... gosh Bobfather, I don't know what to wish for." said Willow.
"M-me neither" said Tara.
"How hard could it be? Hurry up and pick something already!"
"Um, uh, well, um.." Willow babbled and began to pick her nose, a nervous habit.
"I didn't mean your nose!" Cordy snapped. At that moment, Fred poked her head through the door.
"Come on you guys, Giles is throwing the gardner!"
After the 'gardner' or, garter, had been thrown, Cordelia decided to wander around the room for awhile. She spotted a baby sucking on a binky and smirked, snatching the binky as she walked by. The baby began to cry.
"Here you go Droolie" Said Cordy, shoving the binky in Dawn's mouth as she passed. "It fell off a truck."
"See Dawnie?" Buffy said to her smiling baby sister. "You got your wish!" Meanwhile, Hank, Carl, and Giles stood around the punchbowl.
"We're really happy for you Giles" said Carl.
"Yeah, Jenny's a great lady" said Hank.
"She's definitely a keeper" Giles smiled, looking over as Jenny picked up Buffy and tickled her, then placing a hand over his heart. "Of course, it was my dear mother's love in here that kept this old Watcher's faith in love alive!"
"Alright folks" said Lorne from the stage, "It's time for a special dance with all the kids, and their moms."
"Mommy just loves dancing with her beautiful girls" Joyce smiled, taking Buffy from Jenny and scooping up Dawn. All the kids, including Xander, Anya, and Fred, danced with their mothers. Willow watched her friends sadly, with Tara beside her. Neither one of them had a mother. Willow called out to Cordy as she passed.
"Wait Cordelia, I know what I wanna wish for!" she took a deep breath. "I'd kinda like to have a new mommy."
"Sorry Rosenberg, that game's over" Cordy frowned. "'Sides, I'm wanted on the dancefloor." Cordelia ran onto the floor, into Candice's open arms.
"But that's my wish" said Willow sadly. Tara wrapped her friend in a warm hug. She had at least had some time with her mother, but Willow's had died soon after she was born, so she had no memory of her at all.
"Sorry Willow" Tara whispered. When she and Willow were alone, Tara's stutter was almost non-existent.
"It's okay" Willow sighed. Ira, who was sitting alone at a table nearby, stood up and came over to them.
"It's getting pretty late Willow" he said. "What do you say the three of us head home?" Willow nodded, so Ira scooped her up and took Tara's hand. Willow looked over her father's shoulder, gazing sadly at the children with their mothers as they left.