Crowley's response protocol to Armageddon and other serious problems

Worry about it and agonise over whether to tell Aziraphale.

Tell Aziraphale.

Argue about what to do.

Feed the ducks in St. James' park.

Dunk ducks and be reprimanded by Aziraphale.

Get mistaken for secret agent.

Get pissed with Aziraphale.

Argue drunkenly about the impending disaster with many strange tangents, often including dolphins.

Sober up.

Get in trouble with superiors.

Get in deep shit with superiors.

Get in really deep shit with superiors.

Try to avoid attempts at painful discorporation by superiors.

Get pissed again.

Sober up again.

Help Aziraphale prevent disaster.

Get pissed in celebration.