I know I should be working on my other fics, but I got bit by a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone.

Stupid pirate tricks

Chapter 1: Franky

It had started so innocently, a few days out after the incident in Thriller Bark, the newly expanded Strawhat crew was recounting their earlier adventures to their newest crew mates…

"And so, after I locked that pink haired, yodeling lunatic in the fridge, I had to grab a new can for Franky since he ran out of juice…" the young doctor explained.

"Wait a second doctor bro! You don't have to tell them about that!" the shipwright protested.

"And next thing I know, I gave him some and he tries to give that blabber mouth he was fighting a 'vegetable punch', he got knocked clear across the room!" Chopper giggled.

"But the real question is why would something like that happen?" Robin asked, her head cockled to the side.

"It turns out that his personality changes depending on what drink he has in his cooler…" Chopper said eagerly.

The cyborg felt a chill run down his spine when he saw that his fellow pirates were looking at him like he was the newest most popular toy.

"Don't even think about trying that shit with me. If any of you mess with my cola, you won't be feeling super when I'm through with you…" the blue haired punk frowned, glaring at the others and not noticing the Mickey Robin slipped into his drink…

The half android was out like a light a few seconds later.


An hour later, the blue haired former crime boss woke up to find that a spot light was being shined on him.

"What the f*** is going on?!" the mechanic roared.

"Welcome to the first ever game of 'What will Franky be?' The game where we feed our resident cyborg various drinks and see the results…" Sanji said.

"This is truly delightful! I didn't believe my eyes ears when you told me about this! Even though I don't have any….YOHOHOHOHO! SKULL JOKE!" the resident musician giggled.

'Sugoi!" Chopper, Luffy, and Usopp grinned with stars in their eyes.

"And our first drink will be provided by the ever so beautiful Nami chwan…" the host smiled, going into mellorine mode after cupid whacked the cook over the head with his love mallet.

"Oi! Ero cook, get one with it!" Zoro barked.

"Shut it moss head! As I was saying, our first drink has been provided by our navigator!" Sanji smirked, jamming a funnel into the cyborg's mouth and pouring the contents down his throat.

"Dude! I'm feeling groovy!" hippe mode Franky grinned as his hair fell down around his shoulders and he pulled out his guitar.

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what's on the other side? Rainbow's are visions! They're only illusions…and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some chose to believe it but I know they're wrong… wait and see…" the Tangerine juice affected cyborg crooned.


He burst out of the chair and ripped it apart with his bare hands.

"I'll murder ya all for this!" Franky snarled, with fire in his eyes.

"Time for round two!" Usopp smirked, firing several liquid filled pellets into his Nakama's mouth.

"I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright!" the now tutu clad man warbled, pirouetting across the floor as his hair curled itself into a series of fancy ringlets.

"Gah! This is getting old! And who the fuck drinks sparkling cider on this ship?! " the cyborg roared as he ripped the fancy gown off his body.

"And now for the third drink!" Chopper tittered, leaping on the cyborg and ticking his sides.

"WHA!? STOP TH-HA-HA-HA-AT!" Franky sputtered as Robin poured another container down his throat.

"Dude! How much beer did I have to drink last night?! Where are my books! I'm gonna be late for class!" the now crew cut clad man groaned as he got off the floor and rushed for the door, only to be intercepted mid way and have the final drink of the night poured down his gullet.

"Ah! My great bundle of sweetness! It is love, love, love at first sight! Is it not, no, yes? Oh I feel ze hot rush of love to ze temples and other places too! Ah! Golden girl! You are ze corned beef and I am ze cabbage! MWA! MWA! MWA!" the now suave cyborg cooed as his hair slicked itself back and he trailed kisses up Nico Robin's arm. The normally taciturn woman's face flushed as that night's entertainment kissed higher and higher.


Nami's thunder bolt tempo zapped the French android and knocked him out before the fic rating needed to go up to M.

As the pirates walked out of the room, most of them laughing hysterically, Robin stayed behind for a moment and picked up the last bottle. She sniffed it and realized that it was a fine East Blue Champagne.

Smiling slightly, she summoned several arms that carried the comatose cyborg behind her as she tucked the bottle away.

"Waste not, want not after all…" the hana hana no mi user thought as she made plans for that particular bottle later.

Remember folks, read review, and check out the challenge on my profile page.