Title: Eight Days a Week
Characters: Naruto, Sasuke
Genre: Ninja-verse, Humour, Romance
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 8,000
Status: One-shot, Complete
Summary: Naruto spends time with Sasuke while Sasuke does time. In Suna.
Beta: Sowell
A/N: I abandoned fandom, but a brief return for Questofdreams' birthday (exactly two months late, ilu questy). Fic isn't all that canon-compliant and the title was nicked from a Beatles song.

Eight Days a Week

It was approximately at Lee's twentieth lap around the village at three A.M. that Naruto realised what he was seeing wasn't a bright green blur. His sleep addled mind had attributed it to being a florescent woodland creature.

Naruto, like many cracked ninja who had just passed their jounin exams, was having trouble sleeping, so he had taken to wandering the village at night, idly forming thoughts about how awesome a vigilante he would be. The Hokage by day, fighting paperwork and old idiots in the council… Ninjaman by night fighting to right wrongs and other bad stuff. Naruto, the Super Ninja… the name needed a little work.

He was currently sitting on the Hokage Mountain, wondering the best way to form a booger coming out of Tsunade's rock face when he saw that Rock Lee was back in Konoha and acting bat-shit crazy as per usual.

Naruto tracked down Lee. It was a bit difficult as it was useless running after him and waving his arms madly trying to get Lee's attention. He'd learnt from previous mistakes. The best way to get Lee to stop one of his crazy self imposed goals/punishments was to stand directly in front of him and pray that he was noticed and not flattened. Of course sometimes he did running jumps and kicks as he ran - something else Naruto learned through painful experience - so he'd had to guage the type of punishment that Lee had set first. They usually ranged from the level of I-did-well-let's-celebrate-by-killing-my-muscles to I-disappointed-Gai-sensei-death-by-exercise.

It also really helped that Naruto's pyjamas were bright orange.

"Naruto-kun! I'll be with you in a moment! I only have nine hundred and seventy three more laps to do!"

Naruto had already prepared for that, and Lee flew right through the nin wire and rebounded to fall flat on his back. Naruto sat on him to keep him there. These days Lee was susceptible to doing serious damage to himself if no one was around to stop him.

"Hey Fuzzy-brows! How was Suna? You've been gone for six months! I thought Gaara might have killed you by now. He always says he's gonna do that, but he's never done it yet!" Naruto was grateful Lee wasn't dead (yet), but the number of times Gaara would mention death in reference to Lee was disturbing so it was only a matter of time. "How about we go to the bar and have a nice non-alcoholic drink to celebrate your return?"

Lee blinked his unnatural eyelashes at him and then furrowed his alarming eyebrows and spoke at high speed. All Naruto managed to discern was 'Sasuke-kun' which led to Lee being pinned against a tree and being grilled for every bit of information he had.

"No, Naruto-kun," Lee gasped weakly, and Naruto eased his grip, feeling sheepish for his quick reaction. "Sasuke-kun has been captured by Suna."

Naruto hesitated a moment; his first reaction was to head to Suna that very instant, knock Sasuke unconscious, tie him up like a stuck pig, then go back to Konoha and maybe stop for a beer with the Kazekage. It was a brief but beautiful fantasy. He was already leaping into the trees before he shook his head and returned to Lee, who looked torn between chasing after him and finishing his laps. First he would need more information and then permission to leave the village. It had taken many many years for Naruto to develop the 'think first, act after' attitude, and even then it was extremely rare.

*

Naruto tracked Tsunade down first thing in the morning. He found her at Konoha Hospital and she seemed for all intents and purposes to be killing her patient in a very violent manner.

Crack.

"Spit it out, Naruto!" Tsunade barked, as she placed her elbow in her patient's stomach for leverage and twisted his arm in one powerful movement.

Naruto really wanted to come back later. He'd heard about battle rage and he was pretty sure Tsunade had gone beyond the berserker point; she seemed a small stretch away from frothing at the mouth.

Crack.

Naruto winced and made sure he had his escape route all planned out. Tsunade could very well decide he needed fixing too and the moment she stopped differentiating between the ill and the perfectly healthy future Hokage couldn't be too far away.

She placed her palm over her patient's mouth to muffle his scream as her hand lit with green chakra pushed into a wound deep in the man's chest. Naruto had never been so thankful for Kyuubi's healing.

He looked around and wondered where everyone else. It was likely Tsunade in berserker-mode had scared off the entire hospital staff.

Crack.

"Naruto!" Naruto flinched and then straightened. He'd spent the rest of last night practicing what he would say to her. Many hours of rehearsing in front of the mirror to make sure he didn't look like he was a lying liar. Sakura told him that when he lied he couldn't look the other person in the eye and tended to direct all comments to some other distant point. Usually lying to Tsunade was easy since she assumed he was ogling her chest… which in this scenario was definitely out of the picture. Naruto shot a reflexive glance at her cleavage, which was currently enhanced with an outline in blood and guts. It no longer held its previous appeal.

He looked her straight in the eye. "I need a holiday!"

Crack.

Tsunade snorted, "Yeah? So do I. The day Shizune books me in for a spa weekend, I'll give you some time off." She snorted again and restrained the nin who had been trying to make a break for freedom while she had been distracted. "Idiot brat."

"Sakura got a holiday!"

"Sakura is not on holiday, she's been ordered to take mandatory rest for working a full week without break to heal reckless idiots like you," Tsunade retorted absently as she wrenched a wrist into place.

"You don't understand! I feel… I feel tired! And stressed out! And and and…" Naruto's voice dropped to a whisper, "I feel Kyuubi!"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Yes, Naruto, that's what being a jinchuuriki means."

"No it's different this time; I can feel him stirring, like I'm losing control…" Naruto always felt he never knew when it was time to stop.

Tsunade's eyes locked with his and her gaze grew concerned. "I'll book you in for another check up."

"No! Uh… no… What I need is Gaara's help… he went through this all the time, and the Sand medics are bound to know more dealing with his creepy ass issues, so I should go there."

"Are you implying Konoha medical treatment is not up to par, Naruto?" Tsunade's voice lowered into a tone that suggested she was about to slap a bitch.

"Um. No, not at all, okay maybe a little, but I need to see Gaara, it's important, it's…" He threw a desperate look at her, channelled all his need to see Sasuke and hoped that she could vital this was, without questioning why.

Tsunade's expression softened a little, she patted her patient's hand, who was looking at her in abject terror for what she might do to him next. "Report to me later today, I'll debrief you for an envoy mission to Suna. It will be quick, a few days job at the most."

Naruto felt so grateful he could have kissed her. He resolved to stop stealing her hat when she had drank too much and passed out. He liked to use it to practice being Hokage.

The patient let out a defeated whimper as Naruto turned away and walked out beaming, like Sasuke was already home.

*

It was later that day that Naruto bumped into Sakura, when he had been rushing home after his arranged meeting with Tsunade. The meeting itself had consisted of Tsunade ranting about something or another that Gaara had done which she hadn't liked because he was a power mad brat who was too young and too psychologically fucked up and if Gaara would just listen to her and blah blah blah. She had carefully outlined what had needed to be done, but he had zoned back in a little too late and had only a vague awareness of his mission entailing handing a scroll to Gaara and making some complex hand gestures at him. Naruto wasn't too worried; he'd figure it out on the way.

Naruto's main current issue was Sakura. Sakura who was acting like he hadn't caught her with panties around her ankles, on her knees giving Kakashi what looked like the world's best blow job. The trauma of having been witness to that had been briefly pushed aside in hearing the news of Sasuke. It all now came back in horrifying Technicolor detail.

They stood in the middle of Konoha's market, Sakura with her arms full of shopping bags, a bottle of 'Koko's Chocolate Body Sauce – guaranteed to melt your-' peeked out from one of them and Naruto hastily glanced away fighting the angry blush that was fast spreading across his face.

"Naruto… About before…"

"LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Naruto…"

"LA L-"

"Naruto!"

Naruto shut up abruptly, crossed his arms and frowned at her. She didn't get to be angry at him. He wasn't the one sneaking around in very public places, like Kakashi's kitchen, giving their old teacher blow jobs. He voiced that and immediately had a hand clamped around his mouth. Her short nails bit into his cheek and her hands smelled like some sort of vanilla and hospital disinfectant mixture.

Her eyes were wide and pleading and very very green. All the fight dropped out of him. Though, this didn't mean he couldn't find Kakashi and shove delightfully sharp things into his groin area. Naruto could totally take Kakashi, realistically speaking he might need to get him drunk and tranquilised first though. He entertained these pleasant thoughts of Kakashi realising how really wrong and disgustingly creepy and ew ew ew what he'd done with Sakura was and that it'll never happen again and maybe he should take a decade long mission to Lightning country. Naruto assured himself it was a one-off. It'd be okay.

Sakura stepped on his foot to get attention.

"It's not a one-off."

"Yes it is! This is what happens when you do drugs, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura stared at Naruto as if she was trying to decipher his thought processes. He wished her luck with that, his thought processes could leave Kyuubi occupied for days.

"Please understand… Kakashi, he…We never meant to-"

"Oh! It's 'Kakashi' now is it? How would you like it if I did Tsunade-ba-chan?!" Sakura's expression of revulsion was probably mirrored on his own face, because in his head Tsunade dropped her anti-aging jutsu, and really why would his brain do that to him?

"How long?" Naruto mumbled the words around his suddenly thick tongue. "Never mind, I don't want to know." He wanted to tell them that they had to stop that he wouldn't be the only one hurt by this, that it just couldn't work. But Sakura's eyes were filling with tears. Her hands shaking, clenching and unclenching were the last thing he focused on as he backed away and turned to leave.

Naruto could deal with this later; there was Sasuke to focus on first. Beat the shit out of him, then beat the shit of Kakashi and then, if Sai looked at him wrong, he could beat him up too.

*

Naruto's journey to Suna took three days. He'd expected to get there sooner; Lee could usually do the journey in a day and a half and without opening any of his gate things. In his haste to pack he'd forgotten vital things like water, a bedroll and the mission scroll. He'd have to wing that part.

As a result he had hallucinations of his arrival in Suna, whilst actually being passed out on the sand dunes some miles away.

When Naruto did arrive in Suna, he was greeted without much fanfare. The guards were used to his chakra signature; they nodded at him in acknowledgement as he passed. He thought it odd that they didn't question his motives for being there. If Sasuke was held here, surely they'd realise what he had been planning to do. Their lack of concern set him on edge. Naruto's plan was a simple one. Find Sasuke, incapacitate him, and then when he woke up convince him it is okay to go home. If that last part didn't work, incapacitate him again and take him home anyway. Then they could have the rest of their lives to work out Sasuke's psychological issues in copious amounts of therapy.

It was late and without the unbearable heat of the sun, he was freezing. Naruto was immediately shown to where they usually housed Lee. He chattered aimlessly at his guide while rubbing at his hands to warm them. His guide was silent and scarred, like every other ninja in Suna; he didn't take well to small talk and smiled thinly.

Naruto was left in a sparse room with shutters that rattled against the window. He was assured that the Kazekage would meet with him in the morning. Naruto knew Gaara would still be in his office at this time, even without the demon, the insomnia still persisted. It was probably for the best that Naruto wait and rest up. Try to stop hallucinating, possibly take a shower and drink enough water that it stopped burning when he peed.

He considered his options. Naruto was still unsure whether he should talk to Gaara first and then attempt to break Sasuke free, or break Sasuke free, then send Gaara an apology while safely being back in Konoha. Gaara must have sent Lee for a reason; the lack of obstruction when he arrived meant that maybe Gaara was up for negotiation.

Naruto fell asleep with an optimistic plan that could only result in sunshine, lollypops and if Sasuke was up for it skipping through meadows with flowers in his hair.

*

Naruto really felt that people could do these things in places that he didn't walk in on. Like maybe their beds, under the covers with the lights off. Or maybe just not do it at all and he could be happy in the knowledge that Rock Lee was an untouched virgin.

Except he clearly wasn't if Gaara's mouth wrapped around his dick was any indication. What Naruto wanted to know was why him, why on the Kazekage's desk, on what he had suspicions were official Konoha documents, why at 9 o'clock in the morning, why Gaara, why Lee.

Naruto thought it was great that two people who were as different as two people could be… like a dragon and a unicorn … could come together and experience love and tenderness etc etc.

Except… well except nothing. His mind really couldn't handle what it had registered and was shutting down.

He stood outside the office, leaning against the door, trying to calm his breathing while wondering if Kyuubi would replace his eyeballs if he clawed them out.

It was a while before he realised Temari and Kankuro were standing in front of him, Kankuro clapping him on the shoulder and Temari's sharp smile did nothing to distract his thoughts from the image burned into his mind.

"Lee… Gaara…" He managed to stutter out earning a look of sympathy from Kankuro and a smirk from Temari.

"Yeah. Anyway. They're probably done now, so let's go in shall we?" Temari's no-nonsense tone helped to ground Naruto.

"I want a drink."

Temari's smile widened and she opened the door.

Gaara was fully dressed, sitting at his desk and penning at some documents. Lee was sat across from him, his hair mussed and his entire face red. Naruto tried turning and walking right back out but Kankuro blocked his access, grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him into a chair.

Naruto felt his face heat and studiously avoided eye contact with everyone in the room.

Eventually he looked at Gaara, he was regarding Naruto calmly. "It's good to see you, Naruto."

"Yeah. Yeah. Gaara… about Sasuke, I need…" Naruto trailed off, trying to figure out what he had to say. He'd known what he was going to say to convince Gaara that Sasuke walking free would be an awesome idea, only he was having a hard time remembering anything but what he'd just witnessed.

"We can go see him now, if you'd like."

*

Day 1

Naruto didn't think the precautions that Sand was taking in keeping Sasuke prisoner were justified. All they really needed was a cell and maybe a blindfold. The alarming number defences they'd placed around Sasuke's underground prison had Naruto reeling. The 'cell' itself was encased in Gaara's sand, and Naruto thought maybe he should have grilled Lee for more information to see if by saying 'Gaara captured Sasuke-kun' he actually meant 'Gaara killed Sasuke-kun in his desert coffin and he says you're welcome to come see the body'.

Naruto eyed the back of Gaara's head warily. Of course he trusted his friends. He just didn't trust them with Sasuke. It was quite natural, Sasuke didn't exactly ooze friendliness and he sometimes did very wrong things at very wrong times but that was just Sasuke and he probably had very valid reasons. Naruto just had yet to hear them.

Gaara walked forward and placed his placed his palm against what Naruto was quickly become convinced was Sasuke's grave. The sand slithered in response to Gaara, parting slowly to leave a person sized hole to walk through.

"You had to bring me Naruto?"

Sasuke's voice was cold. Naruto's throat suddenly felt too tight. He glanced around the room, Sasuke was behind a cage lined with paper explosives. His eyes were narrowed, with seals in blocky kanji taking up half his face. Naruto grimaced at the chains wrapped around his torso, his arms positioned at an awkward angle.

Naruto took a step closer and Sasuke's lip curled. "Can I-" Naruto turned to Gaara whose gaze remained apathetic. Temari stepped forward, shaking loose a scroll she began to prattle on and on and on about the things Naruto was restricted from doing while visiting the prisoner. Naruto nodded quickly in her direction and made a flapping motion to indicate she should either get on with it or shut the fuck up. She paused in her diatribe and continued at a slower pace.

Naruto gave a growl of frustration when it seemed everyone in his immediate vicinity was content to listen to Temari rant on about how if Naruto so much as breathed in Sasuke's direction war would start with Konoha and then finally finally she finished.

To his supreme satisfaction Gaara allowed the bars on Sasuke's supposedly metal cage melt away in a hiss of sand. Naruto stepped in quickly before they re-materialised.

"Gaara what are you-" Temari began looking horrified.

"We're going," Gaara said simply and turned away.

Naruto blew a raspberry in Temari's direction who responded as if on reflex with her middle finger.

Naruto took a deep breath and turned to Sasuke.

He found himself at a loss at what to say. Naruto had thought that he would yell at him. Scream until he had voiced his frustrations at just how unbelievably stupid Sasuke was. He wanted to say he was sorry and that he would never understand but Sasuke had to come home because then Naruto could finally feel like he was home.

Instead he walked closer and slid down the wall to sit beside his old team mate. "You stink," he offered half-heartedly.

*

"We're never going to see sunlight again..." Naruto had sunk into a deep depression, he didn't know how long he'd been locked up in here with Sasuke having lost all track of time. He was now having daydreams about food, after spending hours... maybe even days yelling at a mostly silent and irritatingly unresponsive Sasuke. "I'm so hungry."

"You've been in here for fifteen minutes."

Naruto turned to glare at Sasuke in the dim lighting. Of all the things he could respond to, now he chose to speak.

"You're free to leave at any time."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here until it's time to go home, and you say sorry to Sakura-chan."

"You never change, Naruto."

"I'm told it's part of my charm," he grinned broadly. "So. When do we get lunch?"

*

Day 2

Naruto couldn't tell what time it was anymore. He'd lost all sense of awareness and attempted to measure hours by how often they were taken to the bathroom.

He was currently working on removing Sasuke from his bindings. It would be easier to do if Sasuke wasn't constantly trying to bite the hand that feeds him. Quite literally in this case. It would also have helped that every time he attempted to release Sasuke from his chains, Sand ANBU would appear, and despite the masks, Naruto got the feeling they all work identical looks of disapproval.

"Naruto-san."

"Not right now, I'm busy."

"Naruto-san this is your fifth attempt in the past two hours. If you do not stop we'll have to put you in similar bindings to the prisoner."

Naruto released Sasuke, who he had currently grasped by the hair to stop his teeth from sinking into him as he worked at the bolts around his wrists.

"Look, I really don't see the problem here. Once you've taken away Sasuke's Sharingan, he's as harmless as a blind, three-legged puppy. Really."

Naruto wisely chose not to pinch Sasuke's cheeks and ask him who a good doggy was. Instead, he kicked Sasuke in the shin to get him to quit grinding his teeth. Maybe he was exaggerating a little, and the guard obviously thought so since he gave the nod for the rest of the silent ANBU to detain Naruto.

"You can't do this! I have rights! Gaara is my jinchuuriki twin, he'll go mental! Uh… more mental!"

Not long after, Naruto was in a similar position to Sasuke. He'd put up a decent struggle but he wasn't a match for fifteen of them all together.

"Well done, Naruto. Anymore bright ideas?" Sasuke's smile was edged.

"I think I liked you better when you were ignoring me."

Three hours later and Naruto's muscles were incredibly sore from struggling against his chains. He had known it would be fruitless, but that didn't stop him from trying. And as Sasuke had so kindly pointed out, if Naruto was good at anything, it was chasing the impossible. Sasuke had said it with derision and a curl to his lip that Naruto would have punched given the opportunity. He had heard the double meaning in Sasuke's words and thought only of how he would prove Sasuke wrong.

Naruto looked up to see the bars disintegrating, allowing Gaara to step through.

"Naruto."

"Gaara, I swear I didn't do anything! I didn't even look at him, just like Temari said!"

"Naruto."

"Okay fine, I might have said something to Sasuke, but it's hard not to. Have you see what a chatterbox this guy is? Just goes on and on…"

"Naruto."

Naruto was cut off from his next explanation as his bindings disintegrated into sand. Naruto really hoped the food they'd been feeding him wasn't made out of sand as well, it certainly tasted like it.

He stretched and cracked his back until he felt at least three pops.

"I think you should fire your ANBU, I could have taken them all, but I didn't want to embarrass them."

Sasuke snorted, but otherwise remained silent.

Naruto was once again cut off as he was knocked flat onto the floor, with an incredibly heavy Lee looking bewildered as he struggled to detangle himself from Naruto.

"Lee… Lee! Get your crotch away from my crotch!"

There was a Lee sized hole in the wall of sand which was quickly materializing. Gaara stood with his arms crossed and a disturbingly homicidal look on his face. Or maybe that was his horny face, Naruto just couldn't tell anymore.

"Naruto-kun! I came to tell you…" Lee's words trailed off as he registered Gaara standing there. "Um. That. Um."

"It's fine, Lee. I'm here to inform him. Go ahead." Gaara's smile was solemn but Naruto thought he could see the love, if he squinted. Then his imagination got carried away and he ended up seeing too much of the love.

"Konoha has received word of Sasuke-kun's capture here and has sent an ANBU retrieval team!" Lee gasped out in one breath.

"Sand will comply with Konoha's wishes in this case. I am sorry, Naruto," Gaara said when it become clear that Lee was too distressed by his news to continue.

Naruto didn't quite see what the problem was with that considering he was planning on taking Sasuke home anyway, and at least this way he didn't have to carry him.

"I don't understand, what's so bad about that? Tsunade-ba-chan will probably rough him up a little, but he had it coming."

"Retrieval team, for my dead body, you imbecile," Sasuke said since no else deigned to explain to Naruto what the issue was. Lee was now sobbing and Gaara was preoccupied consoling him with awkward pats to his shoulder.

"Crap."

*

Day 3

Naruto didn't know whether the stress he was under was going to make or break him. On the one hand, Sasuke had gone back to not talking to him, and when he did, responding with remarks that cut Naruto deeper than he had anticipated. Naruto honestly thought that Sasuke had done all he could to break Naruto in the past few years, but the last two days in a cell with just each other, with Sasuke's accusations, with his stubbornness, his lack of acknowledgement for the one thing Naruto cherished above all else, it was getting unbearable.

And now the rest of Team Seven was here to drive him further into insanity. Naruto wasn't sure who let them in, but he made a mental note to tell the guard that they wanted no visitors.

Naruto gave Kakashi the evil eye. Kakashi in turn looked completely nonplussed, giving him a friendly grin and matching wave. Naruto couldn't believe he had the nerve to do that with what he assumed were Sakura's panties sticking out of his pocket.

Sakura, for her part, was too busy staring at Sasuke with a gut-wrenching look on her face.

"Hey Sakura-chan, didn't I say I'd bring him back?" He forced a smile for and mentally willed her not to cry. Sakura crying was not a pleasant experience for all parties involved.

"Shut up, Naruto! I'm not talking to you." Sakura sniffed huffily in his direction. Apparently she was feeling sore that Naruto had run off to Sand to fulfil his promise and possibly bring back Sasuke tied up in a nice pink bow for her.

"Yeah? I'm not talking to you either!" He made a point of glaring in Kakashi's direction, "and good luck getting Sasuke to talk, he's like one of those really hard jam jars, you know the ones I mean? Where they just won't open no matter how many Rasengans you throw at it?"

"Sakura," Sasuke spoke up and Naruto turned to fix him with an incredulous stare.

And then Sakura really did burst into tears. Naruto wrung his hands helplessly, "Sakura, don't cry, he didn't mean it, he's just a bit cranky because they make him pee in a cup from time to time," he said. "And I think one of the guards likes to watch," he added in a whisper.

Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder, petting her head like she was a child. She batted his hand away and turned to scowl at him. "We need to get them out. I didn't think Tsunade-shishou would order that without a trial but Lee said that the ANBU are only a day and a half away."

"You're even uglier when you cry, is that part of your womanly charm?" Sai said with a curious look, eerie smile fixed in place.

Sakura snarled and Kakashi quickly stepped out of punching range.

"Who is he?" Sasuke had the sort of sneer on his face that implied dog shit on his sandals.

"Sasuke, that's Sai, you've met him twice now…" Naruto said, "I say met, but maybe 'tried to kill' would be more accurate."

"I don't recall."

"Oh come on! Remember that time when Sai was pretending to be on that snake bastard's side?"

"No."

"And then when me and Sakura got there, and it was all 'Surprise! He's on our side!' oh and I guess Sai might have tried to kill you a little bit too."

Sasuke continued to stare blankly at Naruto. "No."

"I believe greatly in the bonds that you and Naruto-kun share," Sai addressed Sasuke, coming closer as if to examine him.

"Right."

Sakura shoved Sai out of the way. "How have they been treating you in here?" She gazed earnestly at Sasuke while pulling out her medical kit.

"Oh just fine, Sakura-chan! We get gourmet ramen!" Naruto continued to rant to himself as Sakura blithely ignored him.

Naruto turned to Kakashi instead, thinking he could set him on fire if he only wished it hard enough. Kakashi stared nonchalantly back. "I know what you did," Naruto's ominous words had no effect.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you know!"

"No?"

"You and-" he jerked his head in indication of Sakura.

"Mm?"

"What the hell, you can't pretend I don't know!"

Kakashi quirked a smile and flicked open Icha Icha Paradise.

*

Day 4

"He's sleeping."

"He's not sleeping, look at him, he's clearly practicing some sort of trance jutsu, probably to get himself out of here."

"Or….he's sleeping."

"Shut up, don't disturb him. What's that thing there?"

"I don't know, why is it so orange?"

Naruto blinked his eyes open. Sasuke's make-shift team of delinquents stood at the bars. How was it possible that everyone managed to get in here, but he couldn't get out?

"Look, now you woke the orange thing, Karin,"

"Well it's obviously retarded, so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Sasuke, get your team to come back later," Naruto poked Sasuke in the side, prompting him to glare at Naruto and his team in turn.

"Sasuke-kun! We're so sorry to disturb you!" Naruto watched in fascination as the red-head whipped off her glasses, her lips forming a ridiculous pout, batting her eyelashes, and one hand coyly twisting her hair. "We thought -" she got a nudge from the shorter guy, "I thought you might want some help," she simpered.

Naruto made a gagging sound. "No thank you! Sasuke is just fine here, you can all go now. Bye!"

"Yeah, he looks good to me, we'll be on our way." Suigetsu nodded, and motioned for the so-far-silent giant with them to follow.

"Sasuke-kun," Juugo said, "It's getting worse."

Sasuke observed him, and Naruto looked too, taking in his ripped clothing, the long scratches along his arm and general rumpled appearance. "There's a Konoha ANBU team, maybe a day away from here. Deal with-"

Naruto spluttered. "Hey, no! Sasuke you can't…"

"-them. Don't kill." Sasuke continued.

Suigetsu visibly sulked. "No killing, and I have to stay in this place longer? Did you know that they only allow you to shower for like ten seconds? They ration water, what am I going to do? I feel itchy."

"Nobody cares," Karin said before turning to Sasuke, "We'll do that, and come back for you, Sasuke-kun." She was back to the eyelash fluttering.

"What happened to making him promise to have Uchiha babies with you in exchange for his freedom?" Suigetsu said as they walked out. "God, I can't imagine what your spawn would be like; Juugo in psycho-mode would be the only one able to baby-sit."

Juugo automatically stepped in between them before Karin could attack, catching her around the middle as she lunged for Suigetsu.

They left, and somehow the sand slithered away from Suigetsu's presence, leaving a hole to walk through.

"They're charming, I can see exactly why you abandoned Team Seven for that lot," Naruto tried to keep his voice composed. It wouldn't do wonders for their brotherly bond if he started kicking the crap out of Sasuke while he couldn't defend himself.

Sasuke said nothing.

*

Day 5

Naruto was really close to pulling all his hair out, and then pulling all of Sasuke's hair out for good measure. Naruto was aware that he himself was stubborn, and that when he believed in something he would hold on to it with all the force he could muster. Sasuke, however, took it to the point of plain stupid.

Sasuke smiled at him, in that way that he knew exactly what he did to Naruto and a perverse part of him enjoyed the torture. It was a creepy smile. "Look, maybe you can try explaining it to me?"

"Or maybe you can shut the fuck up, Naruto." Sasuke said with scorn, all traces of amusement now washed away.

Naruto didn't know how many buttons of his there were left to press; it would all eventually rely on not letting Sasuke mentally exhaust him.

"I hate-"

"Still haven't kissed and made up, boys?" Kankuro stood there in full puppet garb, his make-up smeared across one side of his face, clothing mussed. Temari beside him with a fan in her hands, eyes cold and hard.

"What is it now? The ANBU can't be here already, I need to talk to Tsunade-ba-chan first-" Naruto began to panic. Even being stuck in here with Sasuke forever was a more favourable option than to not having Sasuke at all.

"No, we need to get Uchiha here to call off his team." Temari looked like it pained her to speak the words.

"What? Those three?"

"They've been taking out the Suna guards; we have reason to believable that the Konoha ANBU are now recuperating."

"How the hell-"

"The big one seems to be doing all the work, the other two are just keeping everyone else at bay. We can't get close enough." Kankuro said, while fingering what looked like the remains of a puppet arm.

"Sasuke, you have to make them stop!"

"No." Sasuke said with a voice full of contempt in just one word.

"We'll get them eventually," Kankuro muttered, "Come on, Temari, this one has no loyalties to us."

"Gaara's patience is wearing thin," Temari told them, "and another team for Konoha will be dispatched."

They left and Naruto punched a wall, sorely wishing it was Sasuke's face.

*

Day 6

Up close, Naruto could see the darkness under Sasuke's eyes. The rest of his skin was paler than usual; it didn't look so smooth to the touch.

He'd only gotten so close because half the time Sasuke ignored his rants and he needed poking to get a response. They'd been full out arguing for the better part of the morning. Naruto felt bone-tired but couldn't stop his anger rising, from shouting until he was hoarse. He had Sasuke pushed up against the wall now, because shouting at him wasn't getting them anywhere. And Naruto needed to see his eyes, surrounded by seals as they were, to know there was still something of the old Sasuke in there.

"Naruto."

"Shut up!"

"What is it that you want from me, Naruto?"

"I want you to come home."

Sasuke looked back at him curiously, and then leaned forward. And he kept leaning forward until their mouths touched. Naruto was so shocked; he didn't actually understand what was happening. Sasuke moved back a little, the warmth of his mouth leaving so that cold air filled the gap between them. He looked at Naruto again; the same strange look, and leaned in again.

Naruto blinked rapidly but his body made no move to step away. Sasuke's lips touched his again and again and again, soft touches of his mouth to Naruto's, leaning back each time so that Naruto felt the absence of Sasuke keenly and for longer each time

"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed against his mouth, he really should have moved away by now. Realistically, this could be some sick game of Sasuke's. Naruto knew it wasn't a dream, he felt too much for it to be dream. He felt ill knowing there could be motives behind this. Worse still, because he couldn't move away.

"Just be quiet for once, Naruto." Sasuke whispered it in his ear, lips moving against the shell so that all Naruto could feel was the sensation of warm breath and lips against his lobe. He gulped in a breath of air; he had to either move forward or back.

Sasuke's mouth went back to his, coaxing his lips with firmer presses and Naruto unconsciously stepped forward.

"Sasuke…" Naruto half-strangled out in a squeaky voice.

Sasuke shifted back to look at him. "You can leave at any time."

Naruto shot him a confused look, and at last managed to back away. He slid down against the opposite wall, and finally since seeing Sasuke, his mind felt calmer, soothed. Naruto touched his fingers to his mouth, and watched as Sasuke watched him, with that sneer that was becoming his default expression around Naruto.

*

Over the course of the day, Naruto would become restless from his position. The calm feeling left him pretty quickly and he was left reeling with thoughts. Sasuke wouldn't answer questions, not that Naruto had voiced any. Naruto briefly wondered if this wasn't some giant ploy to keep Naruto quiet, because it worked very well and he hadn't spoken at all. The longer the silence lasted the less courage he had to break it.

Naruto hadn't had much experience in dealing with sexual things. At nineteen, all he'd ever done was fool around with a few girls when he was tipsy. He'd gone through enough porn via Jiraiya to know the mechanism of it. This was Sasuke though. Sasuke who was his brother. Sasuke who had accepted him, and Sasuke who his dreams of stood on par with that of being Hokage.

Mostly he felt confused. He'd out grown his crush on Sakura long ago, he now asked her out on dates for the nostalgia of it more than anything else. Sasuke's mouth against his had felt good. Not because Sasuke was a sexual expert, but because it just felt so right to be so close and to know it was Sasuke.

He didn't think yelling about them being guys was much of a valid argument. Not with the way his dick gave a happy twitch in his pants if he replayed what had happened in too fine a detail.

Occasionally he would stand up, pace, and then go stand in front of Sasuke again. Close enough for Sasuke to kiss him. Sasuke's mouth would twitch like he found it entertaining, but he would lean forward and bring Naruto closer with the force of his kiss.

Sometimes Naruto would back off quickly, feeling too freaked out. He tried not to see that Sasuke found these actions even more amusing. He felt embarrassed and uncomfortable but he couldn't find it in himself to be repentant.

Other times Naruto would get closer, like now where his body was pressed tight into Sasuke's, his hands threaded through Sasuke's hair, as Sasuke kissed him and Naruto panted helplessly into his mouth, moving against Sasuke's mouth over his top lip, biting his bottom lip, breathing in his air.

Naruto struggled to move away this time. He was hard, and he couldn't seem to stop himself from rubbing against Sasuke's leg. He jumped when he felt Sasuke's own hardness and detached himself quickly.

Their heavy breathing filled the air and Naruto's mouth wordlessly formed accusations and questions. None were voiced.

Naruto resumed his seat, and took to glaring at Sasuke until his hard-on went away.

*

Day 7

Naruto was woken to the sounds of Sasuke being taken away for his bathroom break, shower, and breakfast. Possibly also a dose of injections that kept his chakra weakened. Naruto wasn't entirely sure of the logistics, but he knew that Sasuke could have escaped by now if there wasn't something preventing him.

He'd made up his mind to talk to Sasuke when he came back. And by talk he meant yell at him until he got a reaction. They'd wasted time yesterday; it was imperative that they get Sasuke out of here soon. He wasn't going to run from his own village, but he was sure as hell going to give Sasuke a fighting chance and talk some sense into Tsunade-ba-chan. She knew what Sasuke was to him, she wouldn't do this if she was in her right mind.

They returned and one of the guards gave Naruto a friendly nod after they'd chained Sasuke back up. Naruto grinned at them as he thought of ways to put them out of action.

He got to his feet when they left. Sasuke's eyes narrowed as Naruto approached. Naruto willed himself not to get too close, because he didn't want a repeat of yesterday; well he did, but afterwards. And not like this.

"Sasuke- I, we-" Naruto hadn't thought in great detail exactly what he would say.

Sasuke glanced at him coldly.

Naruto stepped forward without noticing, and tried again. "Yesterday, we-"

Sasuke arched an eyebrow.

"I want to understand you." Naruto felt that came out a lot gayer than he had intended.

Sasuke looked amused again and Naruto wished his morals would allow him to give Sasuke a sound beating while tied up.

Instead his face twisted and he took the final step closer to move into Sasuke's personal space.

Naruto put his hand on Sasuke's stomach, feeling the muscles there through the coarse prison garb. "Is this okay?"

"Don't be a girl about this, Naruto."

Sasuke turned his head to the side and fit his mouth to Naruto's.

Naruto kissed back eagerly. He felt light-headed, giddy with the surety that things would work out alright, and that what they were doing would bring them one step closer to okay.

He worked out all his frustrations with the past few days into touching Sasuke. He kissed him harder than before, and Sasuke, the perverse git, seemed to be enjoying it, smiling against his mouth and biting down.

Naruto's hands grabbed at the material of Sasuke's top, shoving his hands in, his fingers greedy to touch.

Sasuke pulled back.

"What?"

Sasuke gave him a pointed look and jerked his hips into Naruto's. "Oh… oh! Right!"

Naruto slid his hands out from where they'd been stroking Sasuke's back. He licked his lips nervously, then he squeezed his eyes shut and reached out blindly.

"Naruto."

"What?"

He squinted one eye open to find Sasuke looking displeased.

"Sorry… sorry… it's just it's your… and it's my…"

"Are you scared?"

"Sasuke… really, that worked when we were twelve."

"So, you're scared."

Naruto glared at him. He continued looking at Sasuke while his hand worked itself into Sasuke's pants. It took a few tries to get it right because Naruto refused to break eye contact.

He took the weight of Sasuke into his hand. It felt pretty much like his, except he didn't feel a rush of pleasure from touching it, so it was kind of like touching a warm skin-wrapped banana. Naruto wondered if he was doing it right since Sasuke's expression was stony, but then Sasuke probably didn't have an o-face; chances were when he came his face would stay exactly the same.

Naruto shifted his grip experimentally, using his other hand to put Sasuke fully out. He glanced down quickly and looked straight back up. He grinned at Sasuke, willing his nerves not to show. Sasuke was one eye roll away from calling him a moron.

Sasuke shifted his hips in rhythm with Naruto's strokes, and he nudged Naruto's face, angling his chin so that his forehead could rest against Naruto's shoulder. Naruto felt himself harden further and wondered if he could coordinate his hands into jerking them both off. He had a feeling it would be sort of like trying to pat his head with one hand and rub his tummy with the other.

Naruto fumbled to get his own trousers pushed down. Sasuke raised his head off Naruto's shoulders. Naruto licked his lips in apprehension when he realised Sasuke intended to watch. He moved until he was lined up against Sasuke's own erection. His hips moved of their own accord, rubbing against Sasuke, and he found he couldn't look away. Naruto thought that was okay since Sasuke seemed to find the sight fascinating too.

He reached for Sasuke's hand chained to the wall and twined their fingers together. Sasuke looked up at him and Naruto looked defiantly back. Naruto brought his other hand to grasp them both, setting a fast pace. Sasuke hissed and Naruto leaned in, kissing with abandon.

Naruto found himself coming before he realised, and his whole body shuddered as he rode out his orgasm. He took a moment to gulp in air and orient himself. Naruto released himself and concentrated on finishing Sasuke off.

He wanted to get a good look at Sasuke when he came, but all he managed to see was the ends of Sasuke's hair which were continually trying to poke him in the eye.

Sasuke's only indication of his orgasm was a soft sigh before he straightened up.

Naruto let go of Sasuke's hand with some reluctance and stood awkwardly after pulling his pants back up.

"Um."

Naruto felt it was unfair that he was the one ill at ease considering he wasn't the one with his trousers around his ankles. He didn't think he looked quite so debauched either.

Naruto briefly considered just leaving Sasuke like that. Sasuke looked like he knew exactly what Naruto was thinking.

He gave a sigh and set about cleaning them up as best as he could and wiped his hands on Sasuke's clothes as he set them right. There was another uncomfortable moment when he paused as it came to tucking Sasuke back in. Naruto saw a muscle twitch in Sasuke's jaw and did it as quick as possible.

Naruto was half way to his side of the wall before he turned back. He shoved himself into Sasuke's personal space.

"I'm not going to regret this, and neither are you," he muttered and pressed their mouths together.

Sasuke's eyes widened before closing and kissing back at a slower pace.

*

Day 8

Naruto was having difficulty understanding how Sasuke's brain worked.

He splashed water on him to wake him up and then started ranting.

"What I don't get is what there's left to do?" Naruto began.

"Naruto," Sasuke didn't look happy. His face was dripping and some of his hair was now stuck to the side of his face.

"You've done all you set out to do, and some stuff you didn't… but that's beside the point. You killed Orochimaru," Naruto held up a finger, "and then Itachi," he held up another finger, "and then you decided to off Danzou" he held up a third finger as Sasuke's lips thinned. "What more do you want?!"

Sasuke remained silent.

"Okay, so there's the whole clan re-build and popping out babies, and I gotta tell you I'm not into that shit… unless you've already got someone else in mind? It's not that Karin chick is it? She looked like she had rabies."

Sasuke gave him a long look. And after a prolonged silence: "I was on my way back to Konoha. Sand got in my way."

Naruto gaped.

"Why the hell are we in this cell then?!"

"I don't need your help; Taka is taking care of it."

Naruto stalked over and punched Sasuke in the jaw.

The End