Because I COULD NOT resist :) And I love this song! as always.

Warning: Language, angst, distraughtness. Season, four- slight Angel spoilers. Nothing major.

Summary: I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? ...

Disclaimer: I tried alright, man I damn demon would deal. Get it? I'm broke...broke! *cries* I want an overdraft!

One more thing, as with most of my fics!- it got away from me...*sigh* enjoy loves x

Song is Savin me- by Nickleback- pretty sure I haven't seen one with this song, sorry if there is! :0 Don't know why there isn't...

He fell to his knees, despair zagging through his body like electricity, coursing over his heart and leaving its mark every damn minute, every second.

Sam drunkenly hung his head, heavy pants the only sound other than the torrential rain. It quickly soaked up his jeans, from his knees and Sam lifted a sodden face, his hair dripping in front of his eyes.

He couldn't tell which were his tears anymore.

He clenched freezing drenched fingers around the colt. Antique. But he hoped, he prayed this worked.

Sam huffed out his breath, reaching up on unsteady legs with one hand splayed on the cold granite.

If this worked...if-

This had to work.

Prison gates won't open up for me

On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'

Oh, I reach for you

The antique easily slid in, the perfect size, the right detail. It had taken him months to find the right gun, the right fit.

The Devil's Gate gave a groan, turning cogs deep down into the pit as it echoed back to Sam and a small candle of hope flickered.

Then the sound stopped, the pentagram didn't turn and a spark jolted the gun along with the sound of screeching metal.

The doors shook once, a loud vibration almost like a growl, like broken souls pushing up against the inside trying to break out, like Dean.

Sam's lips quivered. He stood, both hands pressed against the stone and he slammed his fist down.

"Open up! Damnit...please...please...Open! OPEN!" Sam pounded against the doors, long after his hands turned bloody and he slipped and slid down, leaving smears of his blood to land back in his puddle, leaning against the doors.

The doors down to Hell, which he'd tried and couldn't force to open...

"Dean..." Sam breathed. Letting the tears rack his form again.

Well I'm terrified of these four walls

These iron bars can't hold my soul in

All I need is you

Sam had been having dreams, brutal and vivid nightmares where Dean was trapped, iron hooks digging into his flesh with lightening flashes and deep rolling thunder.

Sam heard his brother scream for him, trapped like iron bars pressing him in and there wasn't even air to breathe.

He died everyday and Sam saw it, Sam felt it.

The stone felt warm behind Sam's back and he could imagine the proverbial fires of Hell licking at the wrought iron like prison cells on the inside.

Come please I'm callin'

And oh I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

The drinking had gotten out of hand, to dangerous levels and still he managed to complete hunts, kill anything that had information, any demons he passed.

None of them gave him anything useful. So he ended them.

As Sam sat, leant back against the Devil's Gate, he pulled out the hidden bottle and took a swig, relishing in the burn, the sick roil of his stomach and thunked his head back.

He wanted the pain, anything to not feel numb, to not feel Dean's loss.

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Sam drank himself senseless, until the lines of blurred vision and stupid thoughtless plans became all he could think on.

Sam smashed the bottle onto the walls, they looked taller, darker than he remembered.

"De'ean..." Sam gasped, rocking himself upright. "Why'd" Sam's breathing hitched and he leant his forehead on the cold doors. "I'm-not...m'not worth'is...m'sorry...Dean..." Sam's tears touched the door, dripping down with the rain, hissing as it fell, the steam rising and paying no mind to Sam.

Heaven's gates won't open up for me

With these broken wings I'm fallin'

And all I see is you

Sam had prayed, endlessly this last year and no-one had answered his calls, nothing diving had come in and saved Dean.

But he guessed it was because of him, because of his dark and tainted blood, because...he wasn't even human.

When did Dean ever deserve a freak for a brother? Something that wasn't even human?

Sam sobbed, choking in the back of his throat.

It wasn't like he was ever going to see the pearly gates, his prayers weren't even answered and Dean had to suffer? For all that Sam did?

Sam almost welcomes death, has a few times and would have if Bobby hadn't of fished that bullet out of him or pushed him out of the way of that wraith.

Sam sagged again, loss of motor control probably due to all alcohol and no food for days, weeks maybe...he couldn't be sure and he felt a bite in his knees as they hit the last stone step and his blood trickled with the rain touching the doors and leaking just under.

What was the point in being here when all he was doing was falling and falling...into a seemingly bottomless end.

These city walls ain't got no love for me

I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story

And oh I scream for you

Come please I'm callin'

And all I need from you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Sam's blood ran just under the door, in the slimmest of cracks and the doors boomed again, shaking. As if being awakened for duty.

Sam's wide eyes bounced to the door, waiting wantingneeding it to open.

The skies seemed to quieten too, the rain having an odd silence as Sam's breath was heavy in the darkness.

Glancing down Sam saw a flicker, like a flash of red and orange, like flames and thunder and he jolted at the heat the door possessed.

"DEAN!" Sam screamed, whispered passing under the door, tortured screams and heated threats.

Let me out!

I'm going to rip your heart out

Open this door you-

You ever seen Hell kid-


You're going to bleed-



Sam gasped. The soft utter of sound beneath the rumble and chaos and Sam just heard it.

"Dean...Dean...please...please I'm getting you out, I promise...whatever it takes, hold on...please just hold on! I'll find a way, I need you Dean...I can't...I can't do this without you...I need you...I-I'm falling..."

Little Sammy Winchester? You better open this door boy-

Break it down!

Let us out Sammy...

-Your brother's getting restless, better open up-

"Dean?..." Sam asked, ear pressed firm to the stone.

Dean's unmistakable scream resounded inside, like echoing in a thousand rooms, Sam felt the door vibrate with the intensity and it was like losing him all over again.


Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Sam's fists were relentless as they hit the wall again, he didn't care if his bones broke or his hand cut on every punch, every scrape, he was fueled by rage and hate and anger and...and...

The cracks under the door remained black, no whispers or screams and Sam clenched his eyes shut.

That wasn't a dream, it wasn't- it couldn't have been. He felt him, he felt Dean, right there.

"Dean" Sam panicked. "I'm still here...I'm here" The silence that answered him made his bones feel weak and once again he was in a heap in the mud.

Hurry I'm fallin'

Sam stared ahead, sightless eyes screening up to the sky, seeing the rain fall and patter on his face.

His jeans were soaked through, half his jacket well on the way and his hands were shaking, the cold seeping into his skin, into his soul.

If this was giving up, he'd wait for Dean here forever.

All I need is you

Come please I'm callin'

And oh, I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Trickles of sounds caught Sam's ears and he turned unfocussed glossy eyes to the wall, a whole new enemy in itself.

Dean was on the other side of that door, somewhere. And Sam couldn't even reach him.

Break it down Sammy...

Dean's here- he needs you, just break it down Sam

Yeah Sam, let us out again

Dean's screaming for you Sam...

Flashes of Dean, strung up and carved with Sam's name dying on his lips jerked Sam up, anger flaring in his eyes.

"SHUTUP! He's not! He's...he's not..."


It's the only way...

Get him out Sam...

-So much blood-

Go on Sammy...

The cracks flashed a bright orange again and Sam could smell the sulphur, he recoiled, feeling the heat of the door again and ran back, grabbed the sledgehammer, catapulting his body weight in strength and hurling the tool at the doors, right in the middle.

Right where it opened before.

Light flared, briefly blinding Sam when the hammer hit and the reverberations shook down the handle, splitting the wood Sam held.

There was a hissing sound, as the centre cracked outward and almost like a vacuum sucked in the sound, a wail like screech shot outward as blinding light struck out and a force like a scream exploded, flying Sam back, chipping his shoulder and breaking a gravestone.

He lay, still in the puddles of water and mud, scorch marks ran over his hands, up his arms and charring his shirt.

His chest softly rose and fell in the pounding rain. Dean's name dying on his lips as he lost consciousness.

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Black scorch marks also adhered the new crack, sealing itself in red light over the doors as dust fell from the groaning pressure pushing outwards. Heaving demons whispering names and dates through the veil.


If anyone passed they'd see a figure with long hair and dark eyes drag a tall young man through the rain, smearing the shapes from where he'd fallen.

Hurry I'm fallin'

If anyone looked...they'd swear the shape around the young man on the ground were burnt out wings, spreading in a wide arc across the graveyard like exploding charcoal.

Every tombstone broken near where he fell.

I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Fallen angels weren't allowed in Hell.

Not this one.



I dunno, there you go.