Forgiveness

Author's Note: Hey everyone. This is another attempt at a Chair story…please review! And I am open for suggestions!!

Summary: She had only seen Chuck cry selected times. The first being when his father died. The second being when he said his wedding vow to her. The third and fourth were when both their kids were born. And the fifth was at the possibility that he may lose her.



He just wanted her to find him. For days, he felt lost and abandoned. He felt deprived of all love. He knew that everything had been his fault, but he couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone and tell her how much he loved her and how he would never hurt her like this again. But he was weak. He couldn't bring himself to make this kind of sacrifice. And especially after he received the divorce papers in the mail that morning, it would have been pointless trying to call and make up.

Chuck groaned to himself as he stared at the ceiling. Blair drove him crazy sometimes. There was no doubt about it. But that never meant that he didn't love her. He loved that she was strong-willed and she didn't please anyone but herself. And he loved that she was the mother of his three year old son and his two year old daughter. He couldn't fathom what he did to deserve her as his wife, but he was happy that she chose him. But after what they had just been through…he can see why she would want to divorce him.

He forced himself to get out of bed and put on some clothes. Since their fight, he had been staying at his suite in his hotel. The lack of life and total emptiness that filled the room was making him go mad. He longed to hear the sounds of his son and his daughter loudly playing and Blair making her plans for her gala and constantly talking to Chuck about whatever was on her mind. He hated that he was cut off from everyone and everything he loved. His lonely days involved drowning himself in scotch and losing count of the days, hours, minutes and seconds that he was apart from his family.

His mind was interrupted by the sound of his blackberry ringing.

"Hello?" Chuck groggily answered.

"Hey man, it's me." Chuck knew that voice anywhere; it was Nate. Chuck smiled sadly to himself. Talking to Nate meant that he still had some connection to the outside world.

"Hello Nathaniel…what's going on?" Chuck asked causally.

"Nothing really…I'm just going to pick up Matilda from her dance lessons and then I'm going to get her ready for Blair's gala tonight." Nate answered. How could chuck forget? Tonight was Blair's gala event. As far as he knew, he was still invited. He still had his invitation and had his tuxedo pressed and ready.

"Oh right, that's tonight." Chuck lamely replied. He heard Nate sigh on the other end.

"Yeah, that's why I'm calling. I heard about the fight you and Blair had; Serena told me about it this morning on her way over to the gala." Nate informed his best friend. Chuck's heart stopped. Did he know that Blair sent him divorce papers?

"How much did she tell you?" Chuck asked to be safe.

"She only told me that you were staying at the hotel and that it was pretty bad. Look, I know that it's none of my business but I think you should go tonight. You need to fight for her Chuck. You don't want to lose her. I know that you both love each other and you both love your kids and this is just a bump in the road. If you don't go tonight, you're just going to regret it." Nate told his best friend, worried that things may never get repaired between them. Chuck thought about the possibility of going and he wanted to repair the damage that had been done. He smiled to himself and nodded, although Nate could not see.

"Don't worry Nathaniel; I was going to be going all along. My two kids are going to be there and I plan on seeing my godchild as well." Chuck simply stated, garnering a chuckle from Nate.

"Good to hear. See you tonight at six." Nate reminded him before he hung up the phone. Chuck shut his phone off and he sighed. He had to go. He had to try to fix things. He had to try to convince Blair not to divorce him.

He turned and he looked at himself in the mirror. He had to get ready.

--

Chuck entered the gala, feeling nervous and sick. He was surrounded by people in monkey suits and dresses. He could practically hear all the people whispering about him, making snide comments about his character. But he just ignored them and he moved on. He was thrilled when he saw Nate and his four year old daughter, Matilda June Archibald sitting at their table.

"Nathaniel." Chuck greeted, shaking his best friend's hand. Nate smiled in return.

"Glad you came." Nate greeted. Chuck then turned his attention to Nate's daughter, who was also his godchild, and he gave her a hug.

"Hello Tilly." Chuck greeted as he held his godchild close. Matilda had her mother's blonde hair but she had her father's piercing blue eyes.

"Hi Uncle Chuck. Have you seen my mom yet?" Matilda asked enthusiastically.

"No I haven't, dear."

"She looks beautiful! She's wearing a long red dress. My dress kind of matches hers, but mine is mostly black." Matilda said, looking down at her black and red dress. Chuck and Nate chuckled. Matilda was definitely Serena's daughter.

"Well you look beautiful, Matilda. Do you know where Blair and the kids are?" Chuck asked Nate, turning towards him. Nate looked around, as if to search for them and then he pointed at the table closest to the stage.

"Blair is probably backstage with Serena, but your kids are sitting with Dorota at table one." Nate informed Chuck. Chuck caught sight of his son in his sleek tuxedo and his little girl wearing a poufy pink dress and he smiled. He said goodbye to Nate and Matilda and he headed over to their table.

His son, Ethan Liam Michael was Chuck and Blair's eldest child. He looked just like his father, with his dark brown hair and eyes. He also inherited his father's infamous stare. It melted the hearts of many people, even though he was just three. Chuck and Blair's youngest child was a girl named Scarlett Winter Sky. In contrast, she was the spitting image of her mother. She had little brown ringlets and deep brown eyes and her mother's legendary smile. At two years of age, she was destined to win a few beauty pageants. Chuck nearly cried tears of joy when Ethan caught sight of him and ran over to him.

"Daddy!" Ethan called out happily as he wrapped his small arms around his father, who instantly picked him up. Chuck placed a kiss on the little boy's forehead.

"Hey little man…how are you?" Chuck asked with a smile on his face.

"I'm good." Ethan replied. It didn't take long until Chuck felt another set of small arms wrap around his leg. It was little Scarlett.

"I missed you daddy." Scarlett shyly told her father, holding onto his leg tighter. Chuck's heart nearly broke when he saw his daughter's sad eyes and he was quick to also scoop her up in his arms. He placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I missed you too, angel. How's your mom been?" Chuck asked, fearful about Blair's state in his absence.

"She looks sad sometimes." Ethan replied in a quiet voice. Scarlett nodded her head in agreement.

"I saw mommy crying last night. I think it was because she saw a monster in her closet." Scarlett replied. Chuck almost had to laugh at his daughter's innocence but he was just sad that Blair was unhappy because of him. The guilt he felt before just intensified.

"I'm sure that's why honey. Come on, let's get into our seats. Your mother will be doing her speech soon." Chuck said as he took them to their table and sat them down. Chuck garnered a glare from Dorota, but he just occupied himself with Ethan and Scarlett.

Moments later, the lights dimmed and a spotlight centered on the grand stage. Within seconds, Blair and Serena graced the stage, taking the breath away from the people who sat in the crowd. Serena, as Matilda told Chuck, was wearing a long red dress that had a plunging neckline. Chuck could only imagine how Nate was handling all the men cheering at her. But it was Blair that Chuck couldn't take his eyes off. She wore a floor-length white gown and had a plunging neckline as well, but hers was much more demure. And she was the epitome of beauty in the eyes of Chuck Bass.

"Good evening everyone. I'm Blair Waldorf and this is Serena Van Der Woodsen. Tonight, we are here to support the homeless of New York City with a dinner and an auction later on in the evening." Blair professionally introduced, as the crowds cheered them on. God, she was beautiful.

"We are very honored that you could all be here tonight. Enjoy your dinner." Serena concluded, being greeted with cheers once more. As Serena and Blair began to exit the stage, Blair caught sight of Chuck, who was staring at her with his famous stare. For what seemed like forever, she stood there watching him with little emotion in her eyes. It wasn't until Serena pulled her off the stage that Blair snapped back to reality.

Chuck would have to be Chuck and do everything he can…to get Blair back.

--

Twenty minutes had passed and Blair had not come to their table once. Chuck was already half way done his steak and both his kids were demanding to have their dessert before they ate their dinner. At the corner of his eye, he saw a white silhouette approach the table. It was Blair; she finally made her grand appearance. She placed both her manicured hands on the shoulders of her toddlers.

"Hello my little angels…is the food okay?" Blair asked her children in a singsong voice, completely ignoring Chuck's presence.

"Yes mommy." Ethan and Scarlett replied at the same time. Blair smiled as she placed a kiss on both their cheeks.

"That's good. Mommy will be back in a little while; I just have to talk to a few more people. I love you both." Blair told them as she started to walk in the other direction. Before she could get very far, Chuck jumped in front of her so he was blocking her.

"Hi honey it's nice to see you too." Chuck cheekily greeted Blair. Blair did not appear to be satisfied.

"What are you doing here Chuck?" Blair coldly asked. Chuck thought of several sly things to say, but he couldn't say it. He had to fight for her.

"I came here to talk." Chuck told her. Blair pursed her lips and her attention then turned to her two kids and Dorota, who were watching in suspense.

"Dorota, please watch Ethan and Scarlett. Chuck and I have some stuff to talk about." Blair quickly said as she grabbed Chuck by his wrist and she dragged him out of the gala and into the empty hallway. Blair turned to Chuck, with anger in her eyes.

"How do you have the balls to show up here tonight?" Blair hissed angrily. Chuck wanted to quip that he was Chuck Bass, but it would've been inappropriate.

"I came to apologize. I came to save our marriage." Chuck bravely told Blair. Blair scoffed in Chuck's face.

"When did our marriage become so important?! You have done nothing but betray our marriage and me as well! You don't deserve to be forgiven." Blair huffed as she crossed her arms across her chest. It was then that something sparkly caught Chuck's attention.

"Then why are you still wearing your wedding ring?" Chuck asked, eyeing her ring that glimmered in the light. Blair looked down at her ring and she froze. She then looked up into Chuck's eyes, her eyes bitter and frosty.

"I won't parade my pain in front of these people and our children." Blair retorted as she stormed past Chuck, leading her outside into the garden that was behind the gala. Chuck quickly followed, calling her name and running after her. He then grabbed her by her arm and he turned her around, as they stood under an arch made or flowers. And through the darkness of the night, Chuck could see that Blair was crying. He sighed loudly.

"Blair…you have to stop running away. We need to talk; we can work this out. I know that we can work this out." Chuck pleaded, holding a tight grip on Blair's shoulders. Blair shook her head and she shook him off her.

"This is different Chuck! This involves you getting drunk at a club and getting frisky with another woman in a car with a ton of photographers outside! How am I supposed to forgive that, Chuck?! How am I supposed to raise two kids with someone who sleeps around behind my back? There's too much to forgive and I can't give that much." Blair harshly told Chuck, tears of anger streaming down her cheeks.

"Blair, I was drunk. But I was sober enough to remember that I did not have sex with her! I would never do that to you, regardless of how much I drink." Chuck tried to tell her but Blair wouldn't hear any of it.

"But you knew how I must've felt when you were kissing her! You must've known how I would've felt when I would see those pictures all over the internet. Damn it Chuck, you must've known that I would've felt betrayed." Blair cried, her hurt stinging Chuck's heart.

Chuck sighed. He couldn't plead anymore. He had to fight for her. He needed her to see her importance to him. He took a fraction of a step towards her and he placed his hands on her delicate waist. He looked into her eyes, certain that he fell deeper in love with her doe-like eyes.

"Blair…you have to listen to me. I love you. I have always loved you. There are no exceptions for my actions and I will never be able to forgive myself for what I've done. When I was away from you and the kids for all this time…I was in so much pain. Do you know what its like to be hours away from the only thing that makes you want to wake up in the morning. Being away from you is like getting homesick for a place that doesn't exist. You're the best version of myself and it kills me to know that I let myself lose that part of me. You and the kids are everything to me and I was stupid to take you three for granted." Chuck said, needing to stop due to holding back an unwanted sob. Blair looked into his pained eyes that easily reflected hers. She bit her lip as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Chuck, please stop." Blair quietly pleaded. Chuck pulled her in closer to his body so they were just a breath away from each other. He pressed his forehead up against hers.

"I can't let this go, so don't ask me to. Don't push me away. I have pushed people away my whole life and nothing good ever came about it. I want to be a better husband to you and a much better father. All I am asking for is just one more chance Blair. I love you. I said I love you and I swear I still do. That's never going to change. That is something I can promise you this time." Chuck told Blair, no longer feeling ashamed that he was crying. Blair just stared into his eyes, focused on the tears that fell down Chuck's face.

She had only seen Chuck cry selected times. The first being when his father died. The second being when he said his wedding vow to her. The third and fourth were when both their kids were born. And the fifth was at the possibility that he may lose her. And that was when Blair knew that Chuck was being serious. She gave into Chuck's touch and she wrapped her arms around Chuck, crying into the crook of his neck. He did the same, but was able to remain silent. Moments passed and Blair pulled back. Her eyes were teary but they were indeed serious.

"I want you to come home. It has been hurting me to know that you've been so far from home. You mean everything to me and the kids think the world of you. I don't know why I sent you those divorce papers; I was just hurt. You can come home if you want. But the moment you screw me over like you did this time…I will divorce you. I can't forgive two wrongs." Blair warned Chuck, with a somewhat gentle tone in her voice. Chuck managed a weak smile through his tears and he lifted his hand and he cupped her cheek in his hand. His thumb gently caressed her cheek whilst wiping away her tears. He had her back.

"Thank you." Chuck whispered as he captured Blair's lips with his own and he pulled her in closer to him. His hand was still gently cupped against her cheek and his other slithered around her waist and her slender arms were placed on his shoulders. Their days of absent affection were made up for in this kiss. Moments later, they broke off their kiss and they smiled at each other. They were going to see this through to the end.

Chuck wrapped his arm around his wife and he held her close to his side as he led her back into the gala hall. He and Blair exchanged looks with each other as they made their way back to their table and they exchanged a quick kiss on the lips before they took a seat at their table. Ethan sat on his mother's lap while Scarlett sat on her daddy's lap. The loving parents and joyful children laughed and talked, being the picture of a loving family.

Chuck and Blair learned a valuable lesson that night; although it is hard to do, forgiveness is the only thing that can connect us all.

The End



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Alanna xoxo