Delia told Giovanni they had a ten year old son. Naturally, he was curious about the boy and found out exactly how difficult it is to deal with a hyper, easily excited, aspiring pokemon master. Crackfic!

I should warn you this is a crackfic, meaning it is to be taken as a joke. For a serious 'Giovanni is Ash's dad' story read 'Don't Give Me Diamonds'.


"Ash, honey, be careful," his mother's warning took him to the past, to a time when he was much smaller, just barely able to speak.

"Pokemon!" Back then he wanted to pet and hug every pokemon he saw, he loved them all.

At the time his mother had spoken the words in worry, while running towards him, arriving just on time to pick him up before the Raticate snapped at him. It wasn't wild, it was one of Professor Oak's pokemon, but it was in a foul mood that day and having a little boy cling to it only made it worse.

In the present Delia's words were calmer, though just as vigorous. She trusted Ash, now a pokemon trainer possessing eight badges, to be old and experienced enough to handle the situation.

In the background, Giovanni scolded someone over a small communication device, tinier than a pokedex. The device was black with a red R on it. Though he diverted his attention from the conversation long enough to pull Ash's hand back before Persian snapped at him.

"Persian bites?" Ash had been watching the feline's claws warily, despite Giovanni having told the pokemon not to scratch Ash. It seemed Persian found a way around it.

"Yes he does," Giovanni stated the obvious, wondering how many times Delia had to do it over the past years. "Don't do that," he told the pokemon, then turned back to his conversation, "no, he doesn't, yes, I already told you to go ahead with the plan. What? I wasn't talking to you!"

While Ash continued attempting to become friends with Persian, Delia cleared her throat and smiled sweetly.

Knowing not to push his luck, Giovanni clicked the communications device shut. "I can't even take a day off without Team Rocket falling apart."

Delia grinned, "you'll stay for a few days, right? We have so much to catch up on!"

"Yeah, stay!" Ash agreed. He had many things to ask, mostly about what pokemon his father had. He was also yet to have a father-son pokemon battle, unless he counted Pikachu shocking Giovanni when they first met. Ash assured it was nothing to worry about because Pikachu had shocked him when they first met too. Even Delia had been on the receiving end of the attack when she was seeing Ash off on his pokemon journey for the first time. It was just Pikachu's special way to greet his family.

Delia had thought that the news of Giovanni and Ash being father and son would produce what could be best defined as a total freak out on both parts, but they were handling it quite well. Perhaps it was a certain unspoken understanding between pokemon trainers much alike in stubbornness and other aspects. Pikachu and Persian were another story, quarrelling like siblings with a rivalry from the start.

"I want to see all your pokemon and have a battle and... and I have to call Gary!" Ash rushed over to the videophone. The Indigo League was a couple of weeks away and the two Pallet Town trainers were taking a short break in their home. Misty and Brock had gone for a quick visit to their respective homes, though they would soon join Ash again before the Indigo League began.

"Oh, dear," Delia sighed, "you did bring strong pokemon to battle with, didn't you?"

"Of course," Giovanni replied, "but there is that one pokemon I didn't bring... I'll call for it." After a quick call on the little black device with the red R, Giovanni waited quietly until an unusual pokemon appeared before him. "Teleportation, Mewtwo is a psychic type."

"Awesome!" Ash cheered at the top of his lungs. "We'll beat them; we'll beat them for sure!"

"I knew it," it was just as Delia guessed; their little reunion would soon become an argument of 'my father has better pokemon than yours' between Ash and Gary.

When the bell rang, Ash rushed to open the door, "Gary? Oh, it's you guys," it was Misty and Brock at the door. "Guess what? I have a father, come see!" Ash pulled them in, as if to show them a new toy he got.

In the mist of the distraction, Jessie, James and Meowth arrived and entered the house. There was no elaborate plan to seal Pikachu this time, simply a pair of rubber gloves. Walking right up to Pikachu and picking him up was their most anti-climatic and effective plan yet.

"Pikachu!" The little yellow electric pokemon loudly complained.

"Pikachu!" Ash called out realizing that his precious pokemon was being stolen.

"What are you two doing here?" It was then that Jessie, James and Meowth noticed Giovanni's presence.

"Boss!" The trio exclaimed in unison.

"We stole this Pikachu for you!" Jessie handed it over, not thinking about his lack of rubber gloves.

This time Pikachu didn't shock Giovanni as he was swiftly passed along to Ash. "Don't you three have some real work to do?"

The Team Rocket trio stood there open mouthed, they finally captured the Pikachu they had been after for such a long time and managed to hold on to it long enough to give it to the boss, though Pikachu's captivity hasn't been all that long this time either. All their hard work ended in vain when Giovanni returned the Pikachu to Ash, throwing away months of effort in a split second.

"Boss, why did you do that?" Jessie couldn't believe it.

"After all our hard work," James could just about cry.

"I don't understand anything," Meowth complained.

"Persian! Per sian per per persian persian," Persian explained in the language of pokemon, which would be translated to 'idiots! That boy is my annoying little brother."

"What do you mean the twerp is your brother? That doesn't make any sense and there's no way the boss could be your real father, you're a pokemon!" Meowth knew that Persian had the crazy notion that Giovanni was his father. Maybe it could be explained in that he had been with Giovanni since he was a baby, but to say Ash was his brother was too much.

"Persian persian," the proud pokemon declared, meaning 'you're just jealous.'

"Dad, tell them not to try to steal Pikachu again," Ash complained, "or any of my pokemon."

"Don't try to steal my son's pokemon," Giovanni voiced automatically, feeling a little odd doing so.

Jessie, James and Meowth were left in open mouthed shock again and twitching slightly, they exited the house, muttering something along the lines of a 'twerp' being the 'mini-boss'.

The rocket trio's departure was followed by the arrival of Gary, who had brought his father as requested by Ash. His childhood rival claimed that he had found out who his father was and he had very strong pokemon, though Gary was quick to assume Ash was exaggerating. "I'm here with my dad just like you wanted, are you ready to lose the battle?"

"Outside!" Delia warned, she could not allow a pokemon battle in the middle of her living room.

As the little crowd gathered in the yard, Gary noticed the super strong pokemon that had defeated him before, "it's that pokemon and the Viridian gym leader! Why are they here?"

Ash grinned victoriously, "dad and his pokemon are here for our battle." Having defeated Gary in the past had unknowingly made Giovanni score a few extra points with Ash. While Gary complained to his father about the supernatural powers of their opponents' pokemon, which the older man thought was just an exaggeration; Ash happily bounced over to Giovanni and repeatedly asked, "can I borrow your rare pokemon? Can I? Please? Can I?"

"Alright, alright," Giovanni reluctantly agreed, "Mewtwo, Ash will be your trainer for this battle..."

"Go everyone!" Gary tossed out six pokeballs, with fully evolved pokemon popping out. "Dad your pokemon, call them all out!"

"Twelve on twelve? This will be quite the battle," Gary's father had no idea what he was getting into when he called out his pokemon.

"Let's go Mewtwo! Use your strongest attack!" Ash commanded.

"No!" Giovanni couldn't stop them on time and a large explosion shook Pallet Town.

"My house!" The group now stood in the middle of a crater amidst a town of ruins and Delia was very upset about it. "Giovanni Rocketto! I tell you we have a son and the first thing you do is let him play with a dangerous pokemon that blows up the house and leaves the entire town in ruins, maybe I shouldn't have told you anything."

"How was I supposed to know he was going to tell Mewtwo to use his strongest attack!" Giovanni tried to come up with an excuse.

"Of course he would, kids are all about overkill!" Delia scolded.

"Sorry mom," Ash apologized, but didn't seem really sorry seeing as all twelve of the opposing pokemon had fainted.

"We'll get you for this!" Gary yelled, "right dad?"

"We're getting out of here!" Mr. Oak quickly escaped, dragging his son along. He always knew the neighbors were a little odd, but he didn't think they were crazy enough to keep a nuclear bomb of a pokemon in the house.

Ash smiled at Misty and Brock, who stood in shock for a while, finally waking up several minutes later and congratulating him on the fast victory. Albeit they weren't sure if they should be congratulating Ash, scolding him for the mess, or perhaps sympathizing with his parents.

"What a mess and I just vacuumed this morning," Delia frowned at the crater that now was where her house used to be.

"You could come live with me," Giovanni offered.

Delia sighed, "I suppose we don't have much of a choice..."

"Then it's decided," Giovanni called for a transport and a helicopter soon arrived.

"This doesn't mean we're back together or anything," Delia clarified.

"Whatever you say," Giovanni put his arm around her, hearing whatever he wanted to hear.

Delia, Giovanni, Ash, Misty and Brock crammed into the helicopter, along with Pikachu, Persian and Mewtwo, who never went into their pokeballs, Misty had shoved Togepi in her backpack. The helicopter took off, later landing in the Viridian City gym where the chaos would continue.


Disclaimer, I don't own Pokemon.

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