Liam's A/N: So here's the deal. The Cabal has five dues paying members. We also have a quasi sixth member, and that is Daydreamer2578. I say quasi, because I'm not sure we ever put it to a vote. If anybody has thoughts on that, let mxpw and me know.
At any rate, daydreamer is fantastic. She's a tremendous author. Serously, check out her profile page and catch up if you haven't. And this chapter is so brilliantly perverted and hilarious. But looking past the trivial stuff like writing ability, I can honestly say she's one of the most spectacular women I've had the priviledge of talking to. She and I only earnestly began chatting a couple weeks ago, but I can't put into words how much I adore this woman. She's funny, smart, sweet. And most importantly, I can talk to her about anything. It's my honor to call her a friend.
mxpw's A/N: So I've known daydreamer for a while now. She was the first person I really got to know in the Chuck fandom. And if that wasn't enough to predispose me to liking her, she wrote the best Sarina story ever. As you can imagine, this scores her major points in my book. This story is a great example of her wicked sense of humor. It was an easy decision to add this to our little collection. So I hope you enjoy this entirely twisted tale by daydreamer2578. Oh and it would seem redundant to echo what Liam said above, so let me just say ditto.
Sarah's a Naughty Little Girl
Thanks to Titania for the awesomely inspired beta
"Hee. You're touching my boobies."
Chuck stopped mid-thrust.
You're touching my…?
Just a second ago Chuck had thought that there was no power in the 'verse that could stop him. After three years, he finally found himself perched on his elbows above one very naked and very willing Sarah Walker. One hand was firmly clamped around her breast, the other buried wrist-deep in her hair; her head was thrown back, his teeth on her neck, her legs wrapped tight around his waist, heels digging into his thighs, fingernails raking his back. He was a mere inch from the moment he had been dreaming of for 944 days, 4 hours 8 minutes and… 32, 33, 34 seconds now.
And oh, the sounds she was making. As he had long suspected, Sarah Walker did indeed purr. And gasp, and moan, and breathe his name in his ear in a way that made his entire body spasm with desire.
With an effort greater than that of Atlas shrugging, Chuck stilled his movements and raised his head. Surely she hadn't been giggling? She couldn't have. Sarah may purr, but she does not giggle.
Chuck shook his head. Baby talk?
Suddenly comprehension dawned.
"Oh, I get it. You want to role play, right? Okay." Chuck was confused, but more than willing to play along with whatever Sarah desired. "I gotta admit that I find that a bit odd right at this particular moment, but hey, whatever gets you in the mood. I am a very adaptable spy you know. So you're going to be the naughty college girl, and I'll be what? The frat boy jock bent on mischief? The professor who you're trying to get a better grade out of?"
"Silly, I don't go to college. Daddy says paying for an education is for suckers."
He's a millimeter away from stuffing her like a Thanksgiving turkey, and she starts talking about her daddy?
While her body was still intimately entwined with his, her entire demeanor had changed. The hands that had been grabbing his ass and doing unspeakable things to his manhood were now idly creating animal shapes in his hair and she began giggling again at the results. Soon, she started squirming and drumming her heels against his ass in a disjointed rhythm that drove him even further into her.
"Hee. That tickles."
With a groan that could have been heard from atop the Eiffel tower, Chuck rolled over onto his side and away from Sarah.
"Sarah? What's going on? If you don't feel like you're ready for this yet, if you need some time to work things out, just tell me. I can take things slow…er."
"Why do you keep calling me Sawah?"
"Well, what would you like me to call you?"
"Well, it's Samantha, weally," Sarah said shyly, gazing at him wide-eyed from behind an earnest face. "Samantha Lisa. Sometimes Daddy calls me Sammy Li."
"Hey! That's me! Sammy Li mmmph!"
Before Chuck even realized his hand was moving, it clapped itself over her mouth. Hearing her first name the way he had had been bad enough. There was no way he was going to hear her full name coming out of the mouth of whatever demented child was currently running amok in Sarah's head.
"Nice to meet you Sammy."
"Silly Chuck, I know who you are." Sarah crossed her eyes at him, puffed out her cheeks, and stuck out her tongue.
"Really? You do?"
"Of course I do. You're my Big Damn Hero!"
Despite himself, Chuck grinned. For a second. Apparently Sarah did have a Whedonesque geek buried in there somewhere. Too bad all it took was a psychotic break for her to emerge.
Oh God. Was that what this was?
He had done it.
After three years of their damn questions and angst, he had really, truly done it.
He had broken Sarah Walker.
He rolled over on his back and stared at the sculpted ceiling of their hotel room. He needed to think.
Beside him, Sarah giggled.
"What?" Chuck asked absently.
"I can see your pee pee."
Chuck groaned and sprung out of the bed, pulling the sheet around his waist. Hitching the fabric up like a skirt, he started to pace the hotel room.
"I saw your pee pee," Sarah rang out in a sing-song voice. "I saw Chuck's pee pee."
He whirled to face her. "Well could you try covering your boobies for me for a while? I'm finding them rather distracting at the moment."
Sarah giggled again and pulled the duvet up over her head with a flourish.
"I like your pee pee, Chuck. It's much bigger than Bwyce's," he heard from under the covers.
A slow grin spread across Chuck's face.
"Uh, huh," he could see the movement of her head nodding vigorously. "Shaw's too."
The grin became a full face-splitting smile.
"Hah! I knew it!"
Sarah pulled down the comforter and smiled up at Chuck. And for a split second before the smile spread into Sammy's goofy grin, he saw Sarah, His Sarah, there.
Chuck shook his head rapidly. Whoever's pee pee was bigger (Mine!) was not the important thing right now.
"Sammy!" Sarah pouted.
"Okay, Sammy. You remember Bryce and Shaw? So you know why you're here?"
"Well, duh." She heaved a dramatic sigh. "Bryce was really pretty and fun, but then he went and got all dead on me. Twice." She pouted again and her lower lip trembled. "But I didn't really mind so much the second time because I had my Chuck. But then you wanted to go and be a big bad spy and got me all sad and Shaw liked my neck, and he was kind of cute like Pinocchio, but then he wasn't a real boy at all and went and got all bad, and you killed him dead and saved me. You're my hero, Chuck!"
Sarah launched her gloriously naked self up out of the bed and enveloped Chuck in a fierce hug. Her skin was still slick and shiny with sweat and she smelled of him and her and the promise of sex still to come. Chuck couldn't help but respond as she threw her arms around him and shook him side-to-side roughly before planting a big kiss on each cheek with a resounding pair of smacks.
"You're my hero, Chuck. And now we get to get married and live Happily Ever After and have lots and lots of babies."
Chuck took a step back from the naked blonde agent-child and adjusted the sheet around his waist to disguise his growing discomfort with the situation.
"Sammy, do you even know where babies come from?"
"My Daddy says I was a gift from the angels. I hope the angels bring us two boys and two girls. One boy with curly blond hair and blue eyes, one girl with straight brown hair and blue eyes, one boy with brown eyes and –"
"I get the picture," Chuck interrupted tersely.
"I want a puppy too. Daddy always says I can have a puppy the next time we move, but he never gets me one." She was pouting again. "Can I have a puppy Chuck? Pleeeease?" She batted her eyelashes coquettishly and gazed up at him expectantly.
"Sure Sammy. You can have a puppy. Any kind you want."
And a big frakkin' shot of Thorazine.
"Yay! I love puppies!" Sarah flopped down on the edge of the bed and bounced happily a couple of times. Chuck averted his eyes and shifted his sheet again.
"And I love you too, Chuck." She fell happily back amongst the sheets.
Chuck beat his head against the wall.
"Not. The. Way. I. Wanted. To. Hear. That." he gritted out in time with his thumps.
"Chuck? What in the world are you doing over there?"
Her voice had changed. Sammy had gone back to whatever Hell dimension had spawned her, and His Sarah had come back to him.
"Sarah?" He barely dared ask the question.
"Who else would I be?"
"You have no idea," he muttered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Okay." Her voice dropped an octave, grew husky and sultry. "But I do have to ask again what you're doing over there, so far away from me?"
"Er…" Chuck was indecisive. Did Sarah know what had happened? Should he tell her? "What do you think I'm doing?"
"Well it appears that you're banging your head against the wall. And I was really hoping that you'd be banging something else against me by now." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.
Chuck gulped and involuntarily let his sheet drop.
"Um… er…" He cast his eyes around the room looking for an excuse and they landed on the laptop that had fallen off of the bed. "Beckman!" he said. "The laptop fell open and Beckman was still trying to raise us."
Faster than he could fully contemplate her moving, Sarah swooped off of the bed, grabbed the laptop and smashed it to pieces against the Louis XIV nightstand.
"Phone?" she asked briskly.
Mutely, Chuck pointed to the table by the window. Her phone and his met similar fates in turn.
"Now forget about Beckman. You're supposed to be paying attention to me."
For a moment, Chuck mourned the death of yet another iPhone. "You could have just turned them off."
She stalked across the room towards him, an exaggerated sway to her hips, and came up to twine her fingers in his hair. This time she was definitely not making animal shapes. She pulled his head roughly down to her and met his lips with a searing kiss.
"Sarah," he gasped, pulling free.
"Mmm hmm?" Her hands were starting to roam freely over his body again. "Yes, Chuck?"
At the sound of his name being breathed in his ear again, Chuck's toes curled and he squeaked out his question an octave too high. "Are you sure this is what you really want?" He cleared his throat. "I want you to be absolutely sure before we go any further."
"Yes Chuck, I'm sure." She stroked his cheek and met his eyes intently. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life."
Her hand dipped below his waist and squeezed gently. Chuck's eyes rolled back in his head.
"Well, what's a little pedophilia between friends?" he muttered under his breath, drawing her in and beginning to move within her hand.
"What was that?" she asked absently, her tongue already starting to trace a line along his neck.
"Nothing. Just forget it ever happened. I know I'm certainly going to."
"Good," she purred. And with one quick, graceful movement born of years of spy training, Sarah had him pinned beneath her on the bed.
Rapidly, their movements grew heated again, the sweat began to pour, and before too much longer, Chuck found himself back where he had started—perched on his elbows above one very naked and very willing Sarah Walker. And this time no power in the 'verse could—
"Hee. I told you that tickles."
"NOOOOOOoooo!" Chuck leaped off of SarahSammy and into the middle of the room. "Dammit Sarah!"
"Chuck? Why are you so mad at me? And why do you keep calling me Sawah?"
Chuck stalked angrily around the room, pulling on his pants. "You have to make up your mind," he shouted. "I can't keep having you come back every time I… I…" He flopped his hands uselessly. "This just isn't going to work for me."
Sarah sat up, her face crumpled and tears starting to fall.
"What did I do?" she cried. "I try to be a good girl."
Chuck picked up his white shirt and his boxers and threw them at her roughly.
"Just get dressed."
Crying, Sarah started to pull on the clothes, fumbling with the buttons and feeding them through the wrong holes.
"I don't understand why you're so mad with me. We don't have to have a puppy if you don't want to."
Seeing her sitting there on the bed, sniveling, dressed in his mis-buttoned clothes and gazing up at him with those hurt eyes, Chuck softened a bit.
"It's not the puppy," he assured her. "You can still have any puppy you want. I'm just a little… frustrated… right now."
"I don't like you when you're fwustwated. You get all mad angry-bear like Casey."
"I'm sorry," he apologized cursorily, digging in his spygear case and pulling out a watch. "I just need to go and take care of my frustration before it falls off, okay? Uncle Casey is going to come and stay with you. You'd like that, right?"
Sarah sniffed and nodded. "Casey lets me throw knives at gummy bears when I'm bored."
"That's good. Just don't lose us the deposit on this room, okay?"
"Okay." She smiled slightly.
Chuck smiled back, then pressed a button and spoke into the watch.
"Casey! I know you're on this frequency. You need to come and take care of your partner now. Room 815."
Throwing the watch back into the case, Chuck strode over to the room's phone and made a call to the hotel concierge.
When Casey arrived, Sarah was sitting happily at the window, busy at work with a coloring book and crayons and sucking on a chocolate milkshake. Chuck had a quarter-empty bottle of scotch in his hand and was dressed for a night out on the town.
Casey took in the sight and grunted. "You kids having fun?"
Chuck held out his hand. "Phone," he demanded.
With a knowing smirk, Casey handed over his phone. Scrolling through the contacts, Chuck breathed a sigh of relief when he found the name he was looking for and pressed Send.
"Roan!" he exclaimed when the call connected. "How the hell are ya?
"No, I'm sorry, I have no idea what time it is in Palm Springs. Am I interrupting something?
"Of course I am. You're you.
"Oh… twins. Really? That's fascinating. But I was really hoping I could ask you a question…
"Well sir, I suppose I am honored that you can always find time for your favorite protégé…
"Well, no. Things are not going at all well with that delicious Agent Walker, which is the reason I'm calling. I suddenly find myself single and in Paris and I was hoping that you could give me some first-timer's pointers on the Red Light Dristict…"
Chuck snatched a pen off of the nightstand and scribbled a number on his palm.
"Madame Heather. Gotcha. I'll be sure to tell her you send your regards."
He grabbed a keycard and his jacket and walked to the door of the room. He turned back and covered the mouthpiece of the phone before exiting.
"Casey, why don't you go ahead and take Sybil there to a nice, soft padded room? Somewhere where she can play with the nice doctors. I'll catch up with you in a few days."
Casey grunted an affirmative and Sarah looked up from her coloring books.
Chuck turned his attention back to the phone.
"Oh really? You don't say? And they both do this thing with the straps and the feathers? I think that's worth the upcharge…"
Chuck's voice trailed off as he strode down the hall.
"I don't like the doctors," Sarah whispered up at Casey.
He sat down across the table from her and looked at her sternly. "You left your meds back in LA, didn't you Sammy?"
Sarah bit her lip and nodded sheepishly, her eyes downcast.
"You know bad things happen when you forget your meds, don't you? And now Chuck knows too."
Sarah choked on a sob. "Please don't make me see the doctors again!"
Casey smiled at her indulgently. "Let's just see how good you are. I'll let you in on a little secret," he swept his eyes around the room dramatically to make sure nobody was watching. "I don't like those doctors either." Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. "Besides, I was hoping to go see a friend while I was in France and I just traced her to San Tropez."
"Ooh!" Sarah immediately brightened. "Cawina's in San Tropez! Can we go see her please? Huh? Huh? Can we? Can we? Pleeeeease!" She clasped her hands under her chin and twisted back and forth in her chair fervently.
"Well…" Casey drawled out slowly. Sarah held her breath and widened her eyes until they nearly popped out of her face. "I suppose so. If you promise to behave yourself." He tweaked her affectionately on the nose.
"Yay!" Sarah bounded out of her chair and began running around the room throwing random objects into Chuck's bag. "I like Cawina. She tickles me too!"
"Walker, there are some things about your personal life that I don't need to know."
"Hee. I like it when you call me Walker. It's silly. Can we go now?"
"You think you might want to put on some clothes first?"
Sarah looked down at her shirt and boxers. "Oh."
Casey picked up the bag he had dropped by the door upon entering. "Here's your stuff. I picked it up on the way over."
Casey turned his back modestly while Sarah scrambled into some jeans and a top.
"Okay, I'm dressed. Can we go now? Huh?"
"Your shoes are on the wrong feet."
Sarah looked down and giggled. "I like them that way. Can we go? Please?"
Casey put an arm around her shoulders and steered her out into the hallway. "Walker, sometimes I swear I don't know what I'm going to do with you."
"You know, we had a Tennessee Walker when Daddy was conning the horse people. Her name was Guinevere. She reminds me of Cawina. Sometimes Cawina likes me to call her Guinevere when she's—"
"You finish that sentence, and I will take out my gun and plow you down. Understood?"
"Hee. You said 'plow.'"