A/N: Not work or child safe. Beta'd by the amazing Olfactory_Ventriloquism – THANKS HONEY!!! Written for Ms_Sardonicus who won one of five 1000 word fics for the April Support Stacie Author Auction. Her prompt was "Nine/Rose established relationship wherein Nine or Rose cannot keep their hands off each other during an adventure. Serious M rated activities follow." I aim to please, even if I miss the normal usage of "can't keep their hands off each other".

Just One of Those Days

It's one of those days, one of those adventures, and the Doctor knows it five minutes out of the TARDIS, when he and Rose are arrested for what they're wearing. Where they are and where he thought they'd be are two different places and today's reaction to the regular-as-TARDIS-work problem is dangerous amusement.

He knows it's bad, because he hears someone proclaim, "We could just take everything off, if you want," and Rose is giggling. So she's not the one making the outrageous suggestion, which means it must be him, and that's either a bad thing or a very bad thing. Either way, they offend the locals by claiming it's against their religion to stop holding hands.

The Doctor and Rose never let themselves be hung for being sheep when they can be hung for being wolves. Bad ones.

The locals, however, take it as proof of their depravity and just handcuff them together for evidence. Rose makes an absolutely filthy suggestion in his ear and the Doctor offers to turn her over his knee. And take her up on the offer. He's a Time Lord, and he's not wasting any of it.

They infuriate their guards by trading absolutely tasteless jokes about the statuary and frescos lining the city streets and buildings. The insult their jailer by pointing out a myriad of things that are wrong with his brickwork shack of a jail. (They don't point out the things that make it easiest for them to escape, but they do make fun of his uniform. It's like a bag, what're they supposed to do?)

They piss off the magistrate by asking which animal he shot for his wig and didn't he think he should've skinned it first. When Rose suggests it isn't even dead yet, the locals wash their hands of them. The Doctor and Rose are scheduled to appear before the Imperial Drok.

They spend the twenty minutes they have to wait for a space on the Drok's schedule in a cell in the jail shack. Twenty minutes is not enough time to see about escaping and besides, they've come this far, they may as well see it through. They're handcuffed together, so they technically can't keep their hands off each other. They don't bother trying. The jailers seem to be scandalized by how unrepentant the prisoners are, though the Doctor can't help but notice that a few of them seem to be quite interested in their mode of rebellion.

They offend the good people of free wherever this is. They offend them even more, the Doctor supposes, by asking the bloke who delivers this censure if he's actually met a free person. When he sputters and stammers a reply about recent changes to the laws, the Doctor knows that, for all they're not where they meant to be, they're definitely where they should be.

The villain of the piece turns out to be from the Bishopric of Daycon'kai. They've decided to extend their influence to this sector in order to exert pressure on the Empire. They've had their Senior Executive Arch-Bishop of Expansion appointed the local leader through blackmail, forgery, and being very good at golf.

The Doctor makes several inappropriate comments about the title of Drok. Rose coyly informs the Drok that he's not her first when he tries to force her into the mind-control device he's been using on the people to tone down their free will.

The Doctor insists on calling the bloke and his organization "Bishop Prick". While he's having a tantrum over what he calls blasphemy and insult all at once, Rose and the Doctor "accidentally" set his machine to turn off and explode, although not necessarily in that order.

All this happens in the course of exactly one hour and three minutes, so he and Rose are quite breathless when they run from the palace and the angry mob surrounding it, and the angry mob surrounding the first angry mob. This place looks like it's going to be very busy over the next few hours, and there's a scene from a mad scientist film between them and the TARDIS.

The Doctor checks a city map on a computerized screen and finds them a place to hide. They're kissing frantically in the streets before they ever reach the abandoned little building they're heading for.

On their way into the city, people were scandalized to see them touching. Now, they're being cheered on by everyone who notices them. People are becoming distracted by the sight of the two lovers devouring each other's lips. The Doctor doesn't even notice they've got an audience until Rose points it out after he tears his mouth from hers.

They're up against a wall, and he's trying to figure out how to get out of his leather jacket with the handcuffs still on, how to get the handcuffs off, and how to get Rose's legs around his hips, who cares about the clothes or the cuffs. She mentions the natives and then goes to delving her tongue into the hollow of his throat. It feels so good, even the Doctor's Time Lord mind can't quite catch up for a second or so. He forces his brain to consider something other than making his lover feel as good as he does right now, but it isn't easy.

"Give it a go," he suggests to the natives. "Worst thing that can happen? You'll make up for the two-year population decline." The Bishopric of Daycon'kai haven't yet figured out that lack of procreative activities equals lack of new members. Their hypnotic efforts don't stop everyone all the time, but they do make a major dint in any activity that requires free will.

The Doctor grabs Rose's hand tight as a brave couple fall into a smoldering embrace. The man of that pair was apparently one of the guards and tosses the Doctor a set of keys even as he works to impress his partner.

The Doctor guides Rose into the tiny building he had chosen for their hideaway. It's a small office of the previous government, too steeped in history to remove, too dedicated to the less interfering to be recycled. She hardly lets him get them through the door before she's tugged him down by the ear and starts kissing him again.

"Want…" she gasps. "Need… Doctor…"

He agrees and, with no time to hunt through the keys now, he finds his sonic and uses it to trip the cuffs. Rose is free first, then the Doctor, and her now free hand is in the back of his hair, nails scraping as she glides her palm lightly over the close-cropped darkness of it. The Doctor buries his face in Rose's neck and starts to lap at the salt of her skin, teasing her collarbones and practically trying to shove her shirt off with his tongue.

Before he can really work out whether he ought to stop, he's licking and sucking at her nipple through the fabric of her blouse. Rose groans and grinds against him, and he loves that because the pressure on his jeans is too much anyway. She shoves one hand up the Doctor's jumper, the other falling to the button of her jeans.

The Doctor takes that as a good suggestion and unbuckles his belt. The buttons of his jeans follow quickly after. Rose's hot little hand is there before he finishes, and the Doctor gasps out her name as she sets his penis free of its confines. Her fingers are clever as they stroke him, familiar with what pleases him by now, too interested in the culmination of this act to tease this time.

He really can't keep his hands off her, the Doctor realizes, sliding his fingers inside her knickers while his other hand kneads her breast, playing with the tip in a way he knows makes her writhe. He can't even recognize the sounds he's making as he finds her so slick for him already. With a hasty, frantic movement, he shoves her knickers down to her knees, then slides his hand back up to her center.

She's so wet, there are slippery fluids already coating his fingertips. He keeps a thumb on her clit and slides two fingers inside her without ceremony. She keens and rocks hard against his hand, and then her determination turns to sharing.

Rose wraps her slender hand around the Doctor's cock, stroking the length completely, licking her lips as she concentrates. He very nearly comes then just from the thought of those full pink lips wrapped around him, sucking. Words to that effect tumble down from his lips as his free hand finds the baby soft globe of her bottom.

The Doctor pulls his fingers out of her and Rose screeches with protest.

He gives her a slight push, guiding her toward the nearest desk. He suspects it belonged to a receptionist, but right now, he's got a better use in mind for it. "Bend over the desk," he growls at her, all the while stroking his Rose-wet hand up and down his cock for lubrication.

"Oh god," she says, and does as he asks, her legs spread wide, her arse high in the air and quivering.

The Doctor doesn't give in to the sudden urge to lay a bright red handprint on that inviting bit of flesh, but it's a close call. "You ready?" he asks, awkwardly positioning himself behind her with his jeans just low enough to make this feasible.

She groans long and low and raises her bum higher, looking over her shoulder to meet his eyes with a devastating, compelling stare. When that doesn't seem to help, Rose shouts, "Damn it, Doctor, just fuck me, will ya?"

Again, he has to wrestle his control back into place. He presents the head of his penis at her opening and she's already rocking back on him, whimpering. It astonishes the Doctor how intense this feels, how fast it's going.

He slams into Rose so hard she cries out, and does it again because he adores the noise she makes. Does it a third time because it feels so fucking good, and then keeps doing it because he can't seem to stop. When the force of his thrusts threaten to send them tumbling, he wraps one arm around Rose's hips, the other hand slipping to the place where they're joined.

He lets out a grunt of satisfaction when Rose brings one of her hands down to help him. He's anxious to find the risen, swollen heat of her clitoris, determined even in this torrent to make her come first. It always feels fantastic, her muscles pulsing and squeezing tight along his length, her mind reaching out to be as close to him as her body.

His fingers find the pulsing, quivering bud and he lets Rose's touch guide him in what she wants right at first. When he gets it – nice, tight little circles, pressing hard in time to their abandoned rhythm – she brushes her fingers over his cock as he pulls out of her.

He slams back into her even harder this time and she puts both hands back on the edge of the desk. He thinks at first it's to brace herself, but when he pulls out and moves to thrust again, she meets him, using the desk for leverage. Her cries of lust and pleasure are nearly drowned out by the litany of filth spouting from his lips, even the languages completely random.

It's nothing but heat and slide and thrust and writhe, and then Rose stiffens. "Doctor, god," she starts shaking, "right there," her voice goes breathless, "fuck yeah…" She's trembling and still and tense with anticipation. He presses into her, his fingers hard on her clit. "Doctor!!"

Rose's orgasm takes the Doctor with her. He pulls her hard against him, her internal muscles clenching and squeezing, so so so good while his testicles tighten. He shudders and the whole universe narrows down to the single specific point of pleasure as his cock spasms and he judders inside her.

It feels like time has stopped and Rose is everything. "I love you," the Doctor murmurs across her back as he bends over her, helpless to support his own weight alone.

It isn't until she says, "Love you, too," that he realizes he finally managed to get it out in English. He should be shaking with terror. Instead, he just pulls Rose closer and collapses with her to the dirty floor.

He tries to apologize later because, as he tells her, he can't honestly think what came over him. He's usually a gentleman when they make love, he's usually polite a precise and respectful. He thinks this time was completely fantastic, but he's not proud of himself.

Rose teases him out of even thinking like that, tells him with her lips everything he needs to hear about how happy she is they tried this. Tell him with her dancing, laughing eyes even more. "Can we get to the TARDIS yet?" she asks.

He doesn't know if there's a street festival going on outside or a riot, but there's something with an awful lot of noise, and he's tired and happier than anyone has a right to be at his age. "Nah," he says, looking her over to see what she thinks of this development.

She climbs onto his lap and starts licking at his ear. They make love very, very slowly this time. It's still completely fantastic.