Waluigi Vs. Squidward

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: I honestly can't believe no one paired up Waluigi and Squidward yet. No one paired up Waluigi and Squidward yet, can you believe this... anyway, here's a quick story for the day folks. And looky here! It's Waluigi and Squidward Tentacles in the same fanfic! Oh how exciting this be! Read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their owners.

A quiet, incredibly peaceful afternoon in Bikini Bottom... and an even more surprisingly peaceful day at the Krusty Krab...

"Mr. Krabs, can I please go home now?" Squidward Q. Tentacles sighed as he looked at his watch, lying back in his work station. "There's not even that many customers coming in. What's the point of being open if no one is coming in for a Friday?"

Mr. Krabs, who was sniffing his green dollar bills in a wooden tub full of dollars, barked at Squidward, "No! The Krusty Krab demands that we get as much money as possible! Now keep working, Mr. Squidward! If you're wasting time, then you're wasting money!" He proceeded to shake his head. "And that's just sick."

Squidward groaned as he slapped his forehead. "Great, and to think that I stuck with this job for more than a decade..." He continued muttering angrily to himself as he pulled out one of his fancy magazines, pulling out a particular pink-covered one that showcased a priceless ruby. "Whoa! Check out the physique of this baby!" Squidward's eyes sparkled as he rubbed the page in awe. He quickly took a glance to see if anyone were looking.

"Hmmm..." Squidward then was looking for a sucker, and he picked a particular fish, proclaiming, "A-ha! Just what I need for me to sneak out!" Grabbing the brown fish, he placed the said fish with the purple shirt in the boat, handing him the hat. Squidward laughed as he held the magazine, "You'll be a nice replacement while I... do some errands..." He laughed as he somehow managed to get by Mr. Krabs, who was too busy obsessing over his money.

Leaving the Krusty Krab, Squidward began heading home as he continued looking at the jewel within the contained pages of the pink-colored magazine. "Now, all I need to do is find this jewel, and I'll finally be respected again!" He proclaimed with pride, as he grinned, determined to get the ruby at all costs.

Somewhere on the surface of Earth...

Waluigi chuckled as he placed his right arm around Petey Piranha, stating to his large humanoid Piranha Plant friend, "Petey, mah boi, this drink is what all true warriors strive for..."

Petey laughed heartily as he slapped Waluigi in the back, prompting, "Great stuff, Waluigi, great stuff!" He took a sip of his own mug filled with Coca Cola as he asked, "So, are you gonna do anything today..."

Waluigi rubbed his chin, thinking deeply as he finished up the Pepsi he had in his mug. "Well... there was this one interesting thing I found while in the jungle... I don't remember exactly, but it was there." He stood up, and buckled up. "But first, before I go, I'm gonna need another round."

Petey clapped his large leafy hands together, proclaiming with pride, "Yeah, Waluigi! That's my champ! You go and show 'em how it's done!"

Waluigi grinned as he adjusted his trademark purple cap, proclaiming as he stumbled towards the bar counter, "You bet, Petey... when I get back, Imma gonna have one hell of a trophy! Waa haa haa!"

Later, after heaving a nice drink of Pepsi and paying a quick visit to the rest room to wash up, Waluigi placed away his normal purple cap and placed on a sexy white-colored cowboy hat, donning it with his purple cowboy pants and a white leather jacket as he placed a ray gun in his right pocket and his sexy whip in his left. He cackled as he ran straight into the tropical, rain drenched jungle, leaving the humble little tavern behind as he headed northward.

Petey came running out of the tavern, too late to see Waluigi running off. He bellowed at his loudest, wishing Waluigi the best luck he could get, "Good luck, Waluigi! Don't hold back, you're number one, baby!"

Waluigi whistled as he made through the thick jungle. Cutting away the thick jungle foliage as if they were nothing, Waluigi came across a strange portal that led to another place. Shrugging, Waluigi stepped through the portal, and he screamed as he tumbled through a strange warping sensation, all the colors of the rainbow surrounding him...

Waluigi moaned as he rubbed the back of his head. He got up, and stretched, taking a yawn as he noticed bubbles appearing around him. Taking a minute to realize what was happening, Waluigi gasped in shock as he noticed that the entire place was underwater. He gasped for oxygen as he then fainted, fainting right on the doorstep of...

"...Squidward Tentacles, pure genius and pure satisfaction-" Squidward was about to finish his small speech to himself, when he stepped on the unconscious Waluigi. "What the? Oh, of all the dirty..." He placed his magazine within his right armpit as he picked up Waluigi and slapped him several times, causing Waluigi to wake up.

"Whu... who... who are you...?" Waluigi muttered as he coughed, shaking his head to get a better look. He immediately saw Squidward, and screamed, jumping off of the squid's grip. "Get away from me, you damn Blooper! I know what you do to tall, lanky figures like me!"

Squidward gasped in shock. "Squid!?" He punched Waluigi square in the face, offended by such ridicule. "I'll have you know that I'm part of the Bikini Bottom Fancy Regime, and I'm not having some random low life tell me otherwise!"

Waluigi fumed as he torn off his cowboy clothes, revealing his regular clothes as he got into a fighting stance. "Get ready, you eight legged punk! You're going down!"

Squidward growled as he pounced on Waluigi, punching the construction man several times in the head. Waluigi grabbed Squidward's arms and bent them, forcing Squidward off as Waluigi then performed a Waluigi Kick, hitting Squidward square in the chest. Squidward, prone to pain, wrapped his two legs around Waluigi's body, squeezing as hard as he could. Waluigi screamed in pain, when both characters fell in a nearby ravine. Squidward dusted himself off, his brown shirt slightly torn as Waluigi began whipping him. Squidward guarded himself from the whip, and when Waluigi was open, Squidward gave him an uppercut to the chin, sending Waluigi flying.

"Ha!" Squidward laughed as he took out his clarinet, pointing at Waluigi as he shortly afterwards began to play, "Let's see how you like this! The majesty of my beautiful clarinet!" Squidward began playing rather badly, the music causing the swarming jellyfish nearby to explode.

Waluigi screamed as he came back towards the ground, landing in a jellyfish hive. He was zapped badly by the angered jellyfish, needless to say, but Waluigi fought back, performing his famed Waluigi Whirl as a purple tornado formed around Waluigi, twisting in the attacking jellyfish as Waluigi then zapped them with his own electricity. The incoming array of jellyfish noticed this and halted in their tracks, when they noticed Squidward. Buzzing angrily, the pink-colored jelly-filled jellyfish all prepared an all on assault against Squidward, when Waluigi smacked them into pieces with his whip.

Squidward quickly glanced over to see Waluigi dispatching the jellyfish. He smirked. "Well, thank you, strange fellow! But that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you!" Squidward placed away his clarinet and pulled out a boomerang, throwing it towards Waluigi.

Waluigi ripped the last remaining jellyfish in half, pounding his chest in victory as the boomerang nailed him in the back of the head, knocking him down to the ground. He coughed up sand as Squidward then began suffocating him, trying his best to pull off the tentacles. Waluigi's face went pale white, going straight into blue as he was gasping for air. Resorting to the least tactic that he wanted to do, Waluigi bit Squidward, causing Squidward to yelp in pain as he was forced to let go. Falling on the ground, Squidward rubbed his sore arm as Waluigi began furiously kicking the squid to hell and back.

Back at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs noticed how things were going slower. "Hmm... that's strange," Mr. Krabs observed as he took a good look at the brown fish, "I could have sworn that Squidward was a little less... fishy."

"Oh, you're looking for the blue guy?" The brown fish replied, pointing towards the door, "He left to do some errands while you were obsessing over your money."

"...WHAT!?" Mr. Krabs literally exploded, causing the Krusty Krab to erupt like a volcano as Mr. Krabs screamed in anger and rage, bellowing, "IN THE NAME OF NEPTUNE, WHEN I FIND SQUIDWARD, HE'S GONNA REGRET IT!!!"

Meanwhile, several miles towards the western direction, pass Squidward's house, Squidward and Waluigi were still tangling with each other, destroying the buildings, boats, and rock formations that were in the way. The two were steadily approaching a cliff, and neither of them were giving up.

"I'll never be beaten by a squid punk like you, Squidward!" Waluigi snapped as he held Squidward in gridlock, fist by tentacle as they got closer towards the ledge.

Squidward only cackled evilly, pressuring on as he hissed, "Well excuse me, Mr. Waluigi, but my luck has changed, and my ship has finally sailed in the morning!"

The two continued raging against each other, until Waluigi stopped, replying in a shocked manner, "Wait... ship that sailed in the morning? What The Hell?"

Squidward chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "It's a Zelda CD-I reference. What, you don't know?"

Awkward silence. Waluigi and Squidward looked down, to see that they were off the cliff. Looking at each other, they held onto each other as they screamed for their lives, falling several stories below into the ravine.

Two hours later, after being rescued by the firemen, Squidward and Waluigi were both relaxing at Squidward's house. The shocking surprise was, both of the tall, lanky characters had accidentally found the very ruby that Squidward was searching for the entire time, making the entire fight forgivable.

"You know Waluigi, you were quite a good fighter," Squidward admitted as he sipped some lemonade, sighing of relief. "Yeah, I think we could manage to make good partners."

Waluigi chuckled, patting Squidward on the back as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah. You're not that bad after all, Squidward. At least you actually put up a fight, unlike those wimpy jellyfish." He laughed as he looked at the sun setting in the horizon, sighing as he questioned himself, "Yeah, I just wonder how I got here, exactly..."

Squidward offered Waluigi a new glass of lemonade as he stated, "Don't worry about it, Waluigi. Just sit back, relax, and let the sun do all the talking."

Waluigi grinned, and he shook Squidward's left hand with his right hand. "You know what, Squidward? You're all right."

"Oh, thanks, Waluigi," Squidward replied as both he and Waluigi laughed, enjoying the sun's beautiful rays as the clams chirped overhead.

Meanwhile, back at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs sighed as he sunk in his bathtub of dollars, naked. Looking at his door, Mr. Krabs sighed as he basked in the comfort of his headquarters. "Well, I'll let Squidward off for today. But if he tries that stunt again..." Mr. Krabs chuckled evilly as he pinched his sharp pincers, "Oh, he'll have to answer to me claws, he will. Arr arr arr arr..."