Stories from Under the Mattress


Summary: I need a place to put all my mad idea's that just don't make the full story cut line. One shots, drabbles, random scenes, just the general craziness that goes on in my head. Like my other fics, it'll probably end up being mostly humorous crack parings.

A/N: This first one was written on a whim for the Kaka/Hina FC when talking about having fun with drunk Hinata


Nothing to Hide


Kakashi stood in the crowded pub, staring out over the young shinobi. Another chunin exam had come and gone and the last of the rookies had finally made the cut. They were all there, all celebrating loudly, and much to his personal amusment, all drunk. Perhaps he should be the responsible adult and stop some of their more, uh, creative idea's, Naruto and Kiba in particular seemed to be in the perpetual state of trying to see who could make the bigger jack ass of themselves. But in the end he supposed it was all good fun, and besides the Jounin planned to hold these memories and lord them over his cute little students for years to come.

It was then Kakashi felt the strange sensation of someone watching him. He scanned the crowd to see the young Hyuuga girl staring at him, wide eyed and unblinking. Kakashi raised a questioning eyebrow back at the girl, but she didn't look away. Instead, Hinata got up and teetered carefully over to where the Jounin was standing.

As Kakashi watched her drift his way, he couldn't help but smirk. This should prove interesting, he thought, watching her stumble slightly. Even she, the shyest of the shy, was drunk. Only good things could come of this.

"Ka-kakashi sensei," she greeted in a soft yet slurred voice.

"Good evening Hinata." He smiled down at her.

The girl's eyes squinted up at him. "You know I can see you."

The man stifled a laugh. "Very good, Hinata. I can see you too."

"No, I can see you."

Kakashi lifted an eyebrow.

"W-why do you, why do you wear it?"

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Your mask," Hinata explained as though it were obvious. "You're very handsome you know."

At that the Jounin's eyes widened and then quickly checked to see if any others were paying attention to their conversation. "Um, well thank you. But you know, it's impolite to peek."

Hinata sighed. "I know. Neji gets mad at me when I do it. But it's kind of hard not to, everyone is just right there." The girl hiccuped then took another sip from her drink. "Your face isn't all I can see either."

Kakashi felt said face heat up as he began to wonder at his previous assessment of the girl.

"You really have nothing to be, to be shy about, you know."

"Uh, Hinata, I really don't think this is appro-"

"I mean I never understood why all the girls went crazy over Sasuke, because really-" Hinata paused to hold her fingers up, only slightly apart. "I think they'll be disappointed when they see the whole package. It's not very im-impressive."

Kakashi's mouth dropped.

"Oh look," the girl pointed as a goofy smile spread over her face. "There's Naruto." She took a sip from her drink. "Now that's a boy that has nothing to hide. Sort of like you." Another hiccup. "I certainly wouldn't mind tying him down to ride like a circus pony." She paused to look up and the now sweating and red faced man. "You'd do too, come to think of it."

Kakashi pulled a bit at his collar, feeling strangely constricted. "It's getting a bit hot in here, isn't it? I think I need a drink."

Hinata brow pinched slightly, looking down at her own half filled cup. "Here, you can have mine."

Kakashi quickly grabbed the cup from the girl and in one swift movement downed the contents before anyone could see his face.

Or so he thought.

The bright light of a flash temporarily blinded him and when his head snapped back, he saw Kiba and Naruto standing just to the side and grinning broadly.

"See, I told you she could do it," Kiba practically yelled.

"Hey, I never said she couldn't," Naruto replied. "I just said it wouldn't be easy."

The girl teetered slightly on her feet, looking between the boys and the Jounin scowling before them.

"Will someone tell me what just happened?" Kakashi asked with just a hint of anger and maybe some relief.

Naruto practically danced on his feet, holding up a clunky contraption. "New Polaroid camera! In approximately 30 to 60 seconds we're going to see your face."

"I told you," Kiba cut in. "They never suspect the shy ones."

"Give me that," the Jounin said, taking a small step forward.

"No way, come on Kiba. We have a date with the photocopier." And with that, the two boys rushed off.

Kakashi was about to follow when a small tug at his sleeve stopped him. He turned to scowl down the pale eyed girl.

"It's alright," the girl said quietly. "It won't, it won't turn out."

"And how do you-"

"God damn it, Naruto!" It was then that Kiba's voice could be heard booming over the crowd. "How stupid can you be?"

"Hey! It's not my fault. How was I supposed to know the lens cap was on!"

"S-see," Hinata said shyly, her fingers idly playing with the fabric still in her grip.

Kakashi let out a sigh of relief, though he was still a little peeved at being taken advantage of. "That was still a dirty trick you pulled."

Hinata's brow pinched, dropping her hand. "What trick? I had no idea wha, what they were up to."


She shrugged, eyeing her now empty cup with some concern. "So about that pony ride..."

It was then that Kakashi's eye started scanning for the bartender. He was definitely going to need another drink.



Reviews are much loved :)