A.N. What this remake accomplished was utter disrespect for Greek Mythology, because for me, GM is holy in its own way. And I wrote this fic not to dirty the beauty of Mythology, but to somewhat, give a feedback to the movie -writing a review is going to be repetitive.
This fic is dedicated to Andromeda. Dang.
Honestly, watching Io put lipstick on her plump botox lips (she swears she only had them injected was so she'd look more human (wth)) was becoming tiresome. Perseus inwardly groaned and buried his face on his lumpy pillow. This immortal thing was major bull -seeing her put on her make up was like watching those reruns in cable TV. "We're going to miss the movie," he muffled loudly to the bed, his eyes closed firmly, trying to calm down, trying to take a breather through the cotton softness. And he really had to bother getting those damn premier tickets to date her just so they could 'rekindle their romance'. Things had become sour since... well, he couldn't really remember -he had been around for so long after all. They had 10 minutes left till show time and it wasn't like they could just take Pegasus over to the theatres.
Io peered closer into the mirror as she applied her mascara. "Pierce," she paused, glaring at him squarely. "Please."
Hearing his new name and the way she talked at him with just that one emphasized word, Perseus aka Pierce, wanted to get his sword and cut off his member. He knew better than to start an argument, but really, Io was trying hard ALL THE TIME. She always wanted to fit in... Always wanted them to keep up with the world and all that shit. It was her life's purpose and she was a self-centered bitch.
Perseus couldn't chicken out of the immortal companionship with Io, not after she stuck by him despite her once quiet qualm about being unsatisfied in bed. The first time they consummated their relationship, he was still a knee-deep in love human being (well, he was half god, but his stamina in bed was doubtful), and like the idiot he was, thought he could satisfy the nymph, because he, in all his pride said 'If I do this, I do this as a man'. Shit. What a big effin' mistake that was. After Io lay on the sheets with a bored look etched on her face, after him spending loads on her (6 tries and counting), he knew he had to give up the 'do this as a man' shit. Saying he'd be off to get some refreshments, Perseus got on Pegasus and went for Olympus god speed. Zeus and some (everyone) of his half-brothers and half-sisters tried to contain their laughter as he BEGGED for his immortality. And alas, centuries and centuries after, Perseus finally realized that it was the only mistake he had paid for his whole life -him worrying about Io's bitching about him being not being with her for the rest of time. Hell, he gave in without a thought, believing it was true love (never mind the humiliation he suffered in Olympus). And hey, he was young then. So after that, his now god-like endurance at least made Io get her le petite mort (and two, take that, you hag), finally. But now, centuries after, he wanted Io to just... mourez s'il vous plaît.
Suffering in misery, Perseus just KNEW that he probably would have faired better had he looked Medusa straight in the eye and turned to stone. Speaking of Medusa, he lay back and stared at the ceiling, momentarily forgetting about Io and the wasted premier night tickets. Moments like these, he remembers that sliver of sexiness that was Medusa. But his snake fetish gets submerged in his fucking conscience when he remembers his fallen comrades. It was stupid to admit, but he never really did get to ask Io about the incident after his victory over the damn sea monster. Io reminded him then to bask instead in his newfound glory instead of 'dwelling in the past'. His old godly gut twisted in sudden wrath.
Sitting up, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "How did you know about Medusa's weaknesses, I?"
Io shrugged nonchalantly. "Girl talk."
"No kidding? Like slumber-parties or more like grapevine thing?" The vein on his right temple ticked.
"Uhh, can't remember."
"I know I lacked intuitive skills back then –I was a stubborn young man, but now that I think about it, you could have spared my friends from turning to stone." He vaguely recalls Io 'training' him, which led to a major make-out fest in death's boat. How that managed to turn on him on was lost on him and now only leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
Io dropped her hairbrush on the floor on cue, breaking his bitter reminiscing. She whipped her head to face him, her long locks of hair framing the distress on her face. She openly gaped at him, as if unable to grasp the reality that he –her soulmate, had asked her something so… sensitive. As if she were implying that… "Pierce…!"
"For the love of Zeus, Io, my name is Perseus!" He stood up and clenched his fists, hate and disgust on his eyes. "It's as if you... orchestrated this... this entire thing! You have claimed to have been watching over me since I was born!" He didn't really mean what he just said, but the shiver in his spine, the cold of his fingertips confirmed, somewhat, the look in her eyes. "What in the name of Hades, Io?!" And she had all the right to gossip about how conniving Hera and Aphrodite were?! The fuck!
"But..." Io batted her eyelashes, jutting her lower lip and made it tremble. "I love you!"
"What the hell?" Perseus growled. "You knew Zeus would bring you back, didn't you?"
"Holy shit, you're such a bitch." Modern lingo was light years away from the tongue he was accustomed to, but now he finds it most enjoyable especially when rightly used.
Tears of shame fell on Io's cheeks. "I did it all for you. I wanted to be with you. Forever!"
"Fuck yourself, Io, I'm fuckin' done with you." Perseus reached inside his pockets and crumpled the tickets there. "And you just knew I would want to become immortal to make it up to you because I couldn't get you off!" He then started tearing the tickets to pieces and threw everything at her. Little white confetti hung on her brown locks like snow. She puffed a piece off her lips, making her look somewhat cute and vulnerable, and that gesture drove him insane with righteous anger. "You fuckin' bitch… You make me sick." Her silence amazed him, she was usually a whiny bitch. One word hit them both like a lightning bolt: guilt. Trying to stop himself from killing her then and there, really, he stormed off the room and went downstairs to get Pegasus –who was currently in the form of a Chihuahua. A white Chihuahua. Io and all her crazy. "Undo the fuckin' spell off Pegs, Io, or I swear I would behead you like I did Medusa!"
A strangled cry was heard from upstairs, probably Io curling into her pathetic fetus position when she thought the world was against her (again with all the narcissistic bull -if he head one more sob, he was seriously going to rip her lips off her face). Puffing into his original form, wings sprouting forth like an excited butterfly freed from its cocoon, Pegasus quickly bent down to accommodate Perseus and flew up into the sky, unfortunately sparing Io the death she so surely deserved.
A.N. There. :} I feel a whole lot better writing that. :D If you love the movie and hate me for writing this, well, sucks to be you. :P