A/N: Yep. In the Final Fantasy kick, especially since XIII has come out and I've already beaten it twice and I'm playing it for a third time! Doesn't mean the game is all that great, it's just the way I am with Final Fantasy. :3 Anyway, this is a Hope/Snow fic. If you don't like yaoi, then don't read, that's all there is to it. I feel like they have some kind of deeper connection, just like Vanille and Fang do. (Does anyone else wanna put 'vanilla' when spelling Vanille's name? XD )

Anyways! On with the show!

Disclaimer: I do not own FF, or Hope, or Snow, or even the room the do the deed in. That's all Square Enix.


I hated Snow. I hated him with all my soul. So when did I start to like him...?

*Flashback*

I stared at Snow for a moment after the battle was over. He was smiling and happy over the last battle we fought, not out of breath, not tired in the least, and I...I was panting heavily. I leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath as he walked over to the soda machine and got a drink.

"Here," he said, holding the can toward me.

"I'm not thirsty," I replied, a harshness in my voice even I could hear.

"O...kay...Well, don't wanna waste it!" I glared at the ground. How could he stand there and be so carefree? I looked up, an image of my mother standing against the railing before my eyes, reminding me that I had a job to do.

"Snow?" I asked, getting his attention as he downed the soda. "What do plan to do? I need to know."

"I told you. Save Serah, protect Cocoon, and have myself a big, happy family. Still, it's a long road ahead." Everything he said angered me more. "Or maybe not so long." Now he was looking down at his brand. It was his fault we were l'Cie. His fault we were cursed, doomed by our fate. "Whatever happens, things will work themselves out. Even if you're l'Cie, you've got to keep fighting." He tossed the can toward the trashcan, of course making it in. Nothing he said comforted me.

"What if that gets people around you involved?" I said, stepping toward him. He looked at me. "What happens when your actions end up ruining someone's life?" He took a step backwards. My words were getting to him. "What if someone dies? What then, Snow?"

"I..."

"How do you pay for what you've done?" He turned away from me and gripped the railing in front of him.

"I can't, all right? There is nothing that can make something like that right again...When someone's dead, when someone's gone, words are useless."

"So that's it?!" I asked, stepping toward him again. "People die and you just run away?!"

"I know!" he said as he slammed his fist on the rail. "It's all my fault! But I don't know how to fix it! Where do you start? What do you say? All I can do is go forward. Keep fighting, and surviving, until I find the answers I need." How could he say something like that when my mother was lying dead somewhere? Never again to smile down at me, letting me know that everything's all right.

"There are no answers!" I yelled at him. "You're running from what you deserve!"

"Well, why don't you tell me what I deserve?!" he yelled back.

"The same fate!" I don't know how it happened, it must have been my l'Cie magic, because without touching him, I pushed Snow off the edge of the building. I walked over to where he held on to the edge, Lightning's knife in my hand. He looked up at me, confused by my actions.

"Nora Estheim," I said as I looked down on him, "She was my mother, and she died because of you!" Realization hit his face, and he mumbled something I didn't quite grasp. I fell to my knees and brought the knife above my head. This was it. Operation Nora was about to be complete...

Everything after that was a blur. Something behind me exploded, sending me flying off the building past Snow. My eyes closed. This was it, I was going to die. No one could live from a fall this high. I wasn't ready to die, but I'd rather die now than become a Cie'th anyway....

Then strong arms were around me, holding me tightly to their owner's chest, and that was the last thing I remembered before I past out.

When I awoke I was being carried on Snow's back. He apologized to me, and that alone made me think twice about the type of man he was. During his apology I could hear the strain in his voice, and by the way he knelt I could tell he was hurt. Pretty badly. And yet he still carried me and protected me. He grunted as he stood up straighter, then apologized again before handing my back the weapon that had almost killed him, and began walking again. I looked at the blade. He was taking all the blame. I just...I couldn't do it now...I couldn't complete Operation Nora. The next thing I knew I was on my feet as he fell to the ground. He was struggling to stand, struggling to go on. How bad was he hurt? Then we were spotted, and he jumped in front of me, only to be knocked back as the machine swung at him. Even with his injuries he was still trying to play hero. If he kept at it, he would soon be dead. I...I couldn't let that happen, not now. I wouldn't let him die.

*End Flashback*

Thankfully Fang and Lightning showed up and after the battle we made it to my house. Through out the conversation with my father I could only think of apologizing to Snow and somehow making it up to him. He risked his own life to save me, to protect me after I had almost killed him. But once my father and I were done talking Fang told me that Lightning was in the guest room where Snow was resting, taking care of him. So I went to my own room to rest.

As I lay there I thought about the recent events that happened. My reason for wanting to kill Snow, for him to suffer the same fate as Mom had. But what he had said while he carried me on his back...he wasn't the cocky, smiling man I had met, but someone full of anguish and despair for all that had happened. I think in that moment, when he let his guard down and I couldn't kill, that moment is when I started liking him. The man I hated since the beginning...I actually liked him. I sat up. I had to go talk to him. I had to apologize. It was late, Lightening was probably in resting in the other guest room anyway. I stood up and headed out of my room, glancing around the hallway. Everything was quiet. Everyone was probably sleeping. I walked down the hall and paused in front of Snow's door. I took a small breath then entered before shutting the door behind me. The room was dim, the only light on was the small lamp beside the bed. Snow was lying on his back, his bare torso wrapped in bandages. Bruises decorated his broad chest, as well as few along his stomach. I stared at that expanse of flesh for I don't know how long. Something about it enticed me and then I knew how I could repay him. I glanced at his face. He was asleep, his expression calm. I walked over to the bed, hesitating before I reached out and gently touched his chest. My eyes stared at the spot my fingers lay. What was I doing? Why was I thinking like this? Repay him? What did I know about this kind of stuff? I was just a kid. So why did this man before me make my thoughts run wild? And why now of all times?

"Ow..." came Snow's gruff voice as he grabbed my wrist. My eyes widened a little. I hadn't realizing I'd been digging my fingers into his chest. "I thought you were done with Operation Nora." I turned my eyes to his face.

"How did you–"

"Lightning told me," he replied. I blushed a little before pulling my hand from his. "So I thought you gave up on it? Besides, try as you like, you can't kill me with your bare hands." I heard the laugh in his voice, so I glared at him.

"I wasn't trying to kill you," I replied before taking a step back. I sat down in the chair close to his bed. Lightning must have put it there earlier.

"Then why claw me?" he asked, rubbing his chest where I had my fingers like it hurt.

"I was just trying to wake you up," I said, looking down.

"Nice wake up call," he mumbled then looked over at me. "Well...?" I stayed silent for a few minutes.

"I...I want to apologize, Snow..." I said softly. He paused.

"What for?"

"For...everything. Even after I...." I trailed off, then shook my head. "You still saved me...protected me."

"Of course I did," he said, smiling over at me. "I'm the hero." I hated that. How he thought of himself as a hero. And yet...it was true, he was my hero.

"What was that?" he asked and I looked up to see him staring at me. I hadn't realized I said anything out loud.

"I....well, you saved me, so technically I guess that'd make you a hero," I said nervously. Why was I so nervous. I glanced at his bare chest and knew why. God help me, but I wanted him. The first person I ever really hated was the first person I had ever wanted. "I just...want to repay you...somehow..." He laughed.

"Are you coming on to me, kid?" I blushed deeply before shaking my head. This was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have even come in here. I stood and turned to leave, but was stopped by a strong hand wrapped around my wrist. I didn't turn to look at him. I didn't want to see his amused expression, or here the laughter in his voice. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to pull my hand back, but he held onto it.

"Hey..." I was surprised to hear the softness in his voice, almost comforting. I couldn't help it, I had to see the expression he had while sounding like that. I looked over my shoulder at him and he looked back at me, his expression slightly awed, though a dark look rested behind his blue eyes. I couldn't believe it...was he having the same thoughts I was...? Before I knew it I was kneeling on the bed, my lips pressed against his, and I had made the advance, though he did nothing to push me back. In fact he kissed me harder, his hand releasing my wrist so he could push it up my shirt. I sighed when he ran his fingers over my stomach, then gasped when he pinched my nipple. He took the opportunity to push his tongue through my parted lips, exploring my mouth with such expertise that I was panting before we had even done anything. I pulled away from his lips. I had to. I need air. I was breathing heavy, and like always, he was barely winded. I stared down at him and he stared back. Did that really just happen? As if to confirm my thoughts his hand grabbed my shirt, pulling it off of me before I had a chance to object. Then his fingers were at my belt. I jumped.

"Snow...!" I cried out. He silenced me by pulling me down, his lips pressing hard against mine again. After the short kiss he pulled back.

"Don't you want this?" he asked, his voice low, gruff, sending shivers down my bare spine. I did. God help me, but I did.

"But...your wife..." Snow was already taken, involved in a serious relationship with the woman he loved.

"She's not my wife yet...and no on has to know...besides, don't you want to repay me?" I nodded weakly. That's all this was. I was repaying him. So why did it hurt to hear him say that? I nodded again as he pressed his lips against my neck. Every one of his touches felt so good and heated my body, I couldn't just walk away now. He pulled my pants down and suddenly I felt embarrassed. I had never been this naked in front of anyone before, never gone this far with anyone, and I couldn't meet his face as he gazed down at my body. I bit the inside of my cheek. Why was he just staring? Then I gasped and looked down to see his lips wrapped around me. He rolled his eyes up to see my expression and I knew my eyes were glazed over, my lips parted, my cheeks tinted pink. It felt so good to be inside his mouth, the heat of it, the intensity of it. I closed my eyes as a sound escaped my lips. His tongue ran along me, and I could feel myself harden between his lips. How was he able to do this so well? The thought was in my mind for only an instant before I had to grip the bed to keep steady. My eyes shot open as I felt him push his finger into me. When had his hand got back there? My mind couldn't comprehend the pleasure from in front of me or the pain from behind me. It hurt, having his finger inside of me, but not for long. Soon after I got use to it he pulled it out and pushed two fingers inside me. I gasped. The pain was back. He moved his fingers around inside of me, stretching me wider as he continued to suck me down. I couldn't concentrate on the pain, the pleasure was too much. Besides, I knew what had to be done to prepare me. How much, I didn't know...

I glanced over at Snow's pants as he worked and could already see the bulge under them. I reached over, my hand working at his belt. He stopped for a moment as he felt my movement and glanced at my hand before he chuckled. With his lips still around me it made me shiver, a low sound coming from my mouth. He pulled my hand from his pants and put it on the back of his head before he plunged another finger inside of me, at the same time pushing me all the way into his mouth. I gasped. The pain was sharp. But so was the pleasure. I didn't know what to think. My hand gripped the back of his head, fingers curling around his hair. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore I let out a low moan. He had done it. Hit that spot that would cause my body to shudder. And again he hit it, his fingers working that sweet spot as he stretched me open. The pain was nearly faded now and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore.

"S-Snow...." I managed to say through another moan. He seemed to understand and nodded, though he didn't take his mouth off of me. "Snow...!" I cried before I came into his mouth, my body tensing and shuddering as I closed my eyes, both hands gripping his hair now. Slowly my body began to relax as he pulled his fingers out of me. I felt like collapsing, but he wasn't done yet. While I leaned on the bed and took a breather he pushed off his own pants, then pulled me on top of him so I was sitting on his stomach as he laid back on the bed. I stared down at him, still winded from what just happened. He put his hand on the back of my head, pulling me down as he planted a kiss on my cheek. I turned my head, wanting his mouth on mine again, but he put his fingers over my lips, stopping me.

"You might not want to kiss me," he said, his voice still deep, gruff, full of want. "It won't taste too good..." I knew what he meant, but I didn't care. I pushed his hand from my mouth and pressed my lips hard against his, ignoring the taste that entered my mouth. He kissed me back, his tongue forcing it's way through my parted lips to once again explore my mouth. I gasped against his lips as he gripped my behind and broke the kiss. "This will hurt," he warned, "Bear with it and it will get better." Even with his warning and the preparation he gave me I wasn't ready for what he began to push into me. I felt my flesh began to tear as it stretched even more and I closed my eyes, shaking my head. The pain was too much. I couldn't do this. I couldn't stand the pain. He stopped pushing himself inside me and cupped my cheek in his hand. "Hope...?" he whispered. I could hear the strain in his voice. He was holding back. It must have been the look on my face.

"I can't....I can't...." I heard myself murmur, but as I said it I tried to ease myself down onto him. The pain shot up through my body and I whimpered. I felt my eyes water. I had to stop again. Something was trickling down my legs, something warm. It circled around my thigh and I glanced down as it dripped onto Snow's stomach. Blood. I was bleeding. I looked back at him, fear in my eyes. He must have seen it.

"It's alright, Hope...just like with any virgin, there will be blood." I stared at him. How far was he inside me? How much more did he have to go? When would it stop hurting? It felt like it'd never stop hurting. I shook my head again and started to pull myself off him, but he stopped me. Gripping my hips he pushed me down further. I cried out in pain, not caring if the whole house heard. I tore more, tears spilling from my eyes now to run down my cheeks and fall on Snow's chest. This was torture. Pure torture. He was saying something to me, touching my cheek affectionately and kissing me gently.

"It's all in, Hope...the worst is over." I kept my eyes closed and didn't move. It felt like my body was going numb, and just when I thought the pain might subside Snow lifted me off of him a bit. I whimpered again, biting my lip. It still hurt, but I let him take control. My fingers gripping into his firm chest I withstood the pain. As I thought it would never get better, never feel good my body relaxed a bit, my teeth releasing my lip as I sighed. It didn't hurt as much and there was that spot that he kept brushing over, never actually hitting it. I shook my head a little and took control, pushing myself down on him from a slightly different angle. I cried out, but not in pain this time, in pleasure. It felt good. It felt great. God, if felt wonderful. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. He had a slight smile on his face as his hands slipped from my hips down to my thighs. He wanted me to take control, and I did just that.

I was there, riding the man I hated, the man I despised for killing my mother. I couldn't believe this was happening, and yet it was. The man I had set out to kill was now taking me to heights I could never have possibly imagined reaching. Low sounds escaped his throat as higher one's came from mine. His body was beaded with sweat, and I knew mine was soaked. His expression showed so much pleasure that I had to moan just in site of it. When I didn't think I could get any higher my body tightened before I felt myself release. I threw my head back, a louder moan escaping my lips as I came for the second time that night. A few moments later I felt Snow come inside of me, and that was pleasure all in it's own. He pulled out of me as I collapsed against his chest. I thought this was it, the end of my payment, and that I should be on my way, but to my surprise he wrapped his strong arms around me, holding me against him as he kissed the top of my head. He didn't let go, either. Now I was confused. If all this was just a payment, then why lay here and hold me afterwards? I shook my head. I didn't want to think about it. I was comfortable and satisfied here in his arms, and I just wanted it to stay that way.


A/N: Now that you've read it, review! :3