This is an older fic, written in 2008. It has occurred to me that I have several stories that aren't so explicit that they can't be posted here, so I'm posting them. They'll go up one a week, provided I don't get impatient.

Just in case the pairing wasn't a strong enough hint, this story contains a threesome (or fivesome, depending on how you count Blitzwing), with implied sex involving all of them. Also, the title is supposed to be "Four (greater-than sign) One" but this site apparently hates that symbol, too.


Four Is Greater Than One


They were flirting again.

"If you weren't such an idiot—"

It was driving her crazy.

"Who are you calling an idiot?"

It was bringing her attention to the fact that Round One had only left her more horny than when they'd started.

"—we wouldn't be out here in the first place!"

Sometimes, it was almost enough to make her wish she were capable of being satisfied with just one lover. But no...

"If you four don't shut the frag up, I'm turning this spaceship around and going home."

Dead silence for half a beat.

"Aren't we heading back to the Nemesis anyway?"

"Yeah! Doesn't the little spider know anything?"

She knew this 'mission' had been as much a chance for Megatron to be rid of them for a while as it was an actual investigation of a possible energon source. She knew their leader was either extremely wise or incredibly sadistic in order to send three bodies out on a ship designed for two at most. The Nemesis' scouting shuttle was bigger than the single-mech escape pods, to be sure, but still not nearly large enough to comfortably house all three—five—of them. The cockpit especially was much too small, as was made all too apparent by the fact that despite there being only one chair, all three of them were currently crowded into the chamber. Blackarachnia was trying to drive. For lack of anything better to do, Starscream and Blitzwing stood behind her, peering over her shoulder. When they weren't insulting her navigational capabilities, they were bickering.

It was incredibly distracting—

Hands landed on the back of the chair and her vision blurred as Blitzwing spun her around, gleefully spouting something about playing 'merry go round.'

—Especially when one of them got it into their processor to include her in their shenanigans.

Blackarachnia threw out a hand, halting her momentum against the first thing she came into contact with: Starscream's leg. Naturally, he objected vehemently to his person being utilized in such a fashion. "Don't touch me!" he snapped, brushing her hand away and muttering something about keeping her filthy organic bits to herself.

"You like my 'filthy' and you know it," she retorted with equal venom, attempting to pry Blitzwing's hands free of her seat.

"Ahaha! Sicko!"

Starscream snorted. "Why, Blackarachnia, are you flirting with me?"

By Primus, couldn't she have been the type to be happy with just one?

She narrowed all four optics to glowing slits, contemplating something nasty. Well, why not? Without warning, she stood and jabbed him in the neck, smiling a nasty little smile when he went still and silent, slumping over the side of her just-vacated seat.

"—When he can move again, he's going to be very upset."

"When is he not?"

"Point—" "—But you'd better not try anything like that on me, arachnid!"

"Calm down, you paranoid excuse for a blowtorch."

"—Oh, feisty today!"

She spun around, poised to sting him, too.

"Ah, ah!" Blitzwing snatched up the insensate Starscream, holding him up as a highly ineffective shield. Strong though Blitzwing may have been, Starscream was still taller, and his wings were highly cumbersome; Blackarachnia snapped a kick into the side of Blitzwing's knee and he toppled straight into the chair, somehow twisting to land seated in it rather than sprawled across it. Starscream flopped onto his lap and Blackarachnia leapt to straddle both of them without hesitation, pressing backwards on Starscream's wings to pin Blitzwing's shoulders to the chair. Her current position lacked the leverage to actually keep Blitzwing in place; the real threat was her stingers, poised pointedly over his neck.

Blitzwing's faces spun, his body coiling with anger, and there was no way that aspect of his personality was going to let her remain where she was. Before the personality could settle fully into place, she dropped one hand from Starscream to slide her fingers into the joints where Blitzwing's wings met his back, a move that never failed bring out the personality to which flight was most closely linked. Mis-matched optics snapped into place, lips drawing back to release a hiss of pleasure.

The brief rush of victory quailed when she realized she'd failed to keep track of Blitzwing's hands; one of them snaked up the back of her leg, knuckles scraping the underside of the split armor shell sprouting from her waist. Pleasure shot up her spine, her own fingers clamping down reflexively. The hand under her armor didn't pause, drifting further upward only to hesitate just before reaching the juncture where her shell met her pelvic armor. She fought the reflex that would have had her griding down, driving his fingers up just that little bit further...

Blitzwing leaned forward, pressing Starscream between them when she refused to move back. "So predictable," he murmured.

Starscream chose that moment to wake up shrieking. "How dare you! How dare you! Get off of me!"

Blackarachnia growled and took full advantage of his remaining immobility to shove three fingers into his mouth. It didn't stop him from talking—really, there was very little that could—but the vibrations from his muffled imprecations sent reverberations up her arm and shivers rippling through her.

"—Whoops! Not where we want to be!" Blitzwing's ragged red mouth stretched wide, insane laughter easily as aggravating as Starscream's.

She snarled. "You can shut up, too."

"—I will not! Blitzwing does not take orders from organ—!"

"Finish that sentence and I'll make you regret that you've got three processors for me to tear out instead of just one!"

Mismatched optics locked back into place, the barest hint of cool, wicked humor flickering into view before the hand still buried under her armor stretched to its intended destination. Fingers snaked into the wires connecting her shell to her torso, rubbing and tweaking just so. Blackarachnia spasmed, stingers jerking back and curling in towards her body, quivering in pleasure.

Starscream, of course, chose that moment to regain full control of his motor functions. He sat up and jerked to the side, upsetting the entire pile with his kicking. Blackarachnia was dumped unceremoniously to the floor, Blitzwing joining her a moment later and receiving several dents before he managed to catch hold of Starscream's ankle when he paused to switch feet.

"That hurt, you idiot—" "—"You want pain? I will give you pain!—" "—Oh! Thrusters!"

"Don't touch those! I said don't—arg!"

And they were off again. Blackarachnia sat up, limbs splayed and frustrated enough to scream.

Starscream was now using his free foot to kick Blitzwing repeatedly in an effort to free the one still held securely in Blitzwing's grasp. Blitzwing, contrary in his own way, was only egged on.

"Harder, you lightweight—" "—No, you've got no tempo! Like this—"

"Incompetent," Blackarachnia hissed, "the both of you."

Another moment of rare silence.

"Incompetent? No one calls the great Starscream incompetent!"

"Oh, yes, talk dirty to me!—" "—You will regret—" "—I do believe that was a challenge."

Blackarachnia stood up, planted her hands and her feet, and tilted her chin up.

Oh yes, she thought smugly a few moments later. Why bother settling for one? Once you learned how to handle them, four were so much better.