A/N: Ok so this little one shot came from my thinking about how a "real" drow would manage to fit into elven society on the surface and because I simply couldn't bear the thought of having a second Drizzt running around in the Moonwood after reading The Orc king. Tos'un simply had to be different. If only for my own peace of mind. So I decided I wanted to explore this a bit. In the beginning I wasn't even planning to go into the actual sex part... but hey I just couldn't stop myself when it came to it :) Well anyway I hope you all enjoy and maybe leave me some thoughts of your own on the matter.
It had been a nice day; warm, sunny and the fishing had been particularly good. The light colours of spring were slowly turning into the richer greens of summer and the evening smelled of fresh, growing things. So when a clearly frustrated Tos'un scratched on his door shortly before the night was about to fall Hralien wondered what this might be about. The drow had seemed to adjust well to his new surroundings and so far there had been no unpleasant occurrences. It had all gone better than he had expected actually. Of course a lot of the credit for this smooth integration had to be attributed to Sinnafain, who had been seen around Tos'un quite frequently during the last four months, since he had brought the drow back with him. She appeared to have taken him under her wing like a mother hen. Or at least she seemed to be determined not to let him run off again, as he had done the first time.
"Good evening my friend", Hralien greeted the other and bade him come in, with a small wave of his hand. "What can I do for you?" he asked curiously.
Tos'un stepped inside the small, wooden building and said nothing for a moment, seeming to consider how to best approach this.
"I need to ask you something", the drow finally said, clearly unsure. "Something I think will probably touch on personal issues."
Hralien tilted his head a bit, wondering why the other had obviously chosen to come to him in particular instead of going to Sinnafain with his question.
"Very well", he nodded finally and motioned towards a small group of colourful cushions on the floor hoping that the clearly tense Tos'un would relax a little once he had settled down. He assumed that it was quite unusual among the generally paranoid Drow to openly approach anyone for help. Maybe this was the reason why the other looked so uncomfortable. "Please sit and I will see how I might help you", Hralien said calmly. "Tea?" he added, trying to give Tos'un a bit of space, thinking that a cup would at least give the drow something to hold onto. He received a nervous nod in answer.
They both remained silent while Hralien busied himself with a small stove and put a kettle with fresh water on it to boil.
"I am grateful to you for taking me in", Tos'un finally offered when the other elf came back to sit down on the cushion next to his and Hralien smiled in answer. "Wandering alone becomes very lonely after a while", the drow continued.
Hralien nodded. He had already realized, on their trip back from Mithral Hall, after the confrontation between King Obould and the half orge Grguch that, unlike the stoic, silent Drizzt Do'Urden, Tos'un was someone who thrived on the company of others, preferring it to the solitary wanderings the ranger so often undertook with only the big black cat as his companion.
"Well, it doesn't look like you'll be lonely any time soon", Hralien tried to reassure the other. "Sinnafain tells me that you've been adjusting well so far."
"Sinnafain, yes", Tos'un replied haltingly. Suddenly he was looking even more uncomfortable. It seemed a good indication as to the subject of his worries. Hralien merely waited in silence, letting Tos'un find his own pace in this conversation.
"I do not understand her", the drow finally blurted out with an unhappy expression. "And I think I might have offended her", he admitted.
"How do you think that happened?" Hralien wanted to know. He had not noticed anything like it, but then he might simply have missed something. If it was about a private thing Sinnafain would not necessarily make her ire known to everybody.
"I do not know", Tos'un replied looking away, his lips thinning in frustration, slender fingers curling into fists.
"And what did she do, that made you think you did something wrong?" the wise elf asked him patiently, now trying to find out whether the basis for Tos'un's guess was actually sound.
"It should rather be: What did she not do?" the drow mumbled, a comment which made Hraliens eyebrows rise. Tos'un, seeing that apparently he was not explaining his feelings too well, forced himself to continue in blunt words. He had come for help after all, so there was no sense in traipsing around if he wanted to accomplish something useful. Even though, right now he was doubting the wisdom in his decision to come here, he had gone too far already to turn back now.
"I am fairly sure that she wants to take me", he said, carefully watching Hralien for a reaction. So far the moonelf had remained reassuringly neutral. "And I have done all that I can to indicate my willingness, but she simply makes no move to actually do it, so I must have done something to offend her, no? But I cannot figure out what it might be."
The surprised Moonelf managed not to grin, for he sensed that this would only add to Tos'un's distress. In truth he was rather relieved, thinking that this might be easily resolved after all. He would have to find out a bit more about the root of the drow's reasoning though. The passive way the other had worded his initial question sounded a bit strange to him.
"You mean take you, as in bed you?" Hralien asked, wanting to be very sure of this before he continued. He did not think it impossible that the ever curious Sinnafain would indeed consider such a union, but he also felt a certain measure of concern rise in himself at the notion. Despite the fact that the dark elf had proven himself a reliable ally in the fight against the orcs, Hralien still knew that he was talking to a drow. A member of a people considered masterful when it came to deceit and trickery. He had to admit that this particular drow seemed sincere in his desire to learn their ways though. Tos'un nodded nervously. His long dark skinned fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, a motion he stopped abruptly as soon as he became aware of it.
"Have you approached her about this?"
"Approached?" Tos'un echoed uncertainly. Clearly not understanding.
"Well, have you asked her whether she wishes to sleep with you?"
Hralien, who thought that this would probably be the easiest and most obvious solution, was more than a bit surprised when his words produced an expression of panic on the dark features in front of him.
"But she's a woman!" Tos'un gasped, suddenly sounding as if someone was strangling him. "I cannot just ask her that!"
The look of pure, astonished confusion coming from Hralien prompted the drow to pause and ask: "Can I?"
While he had of course realized long ago, that the elves of the Moonwood lived by rules very much different from anything he had been taught while growing up in Menzoberranzan, some things were so deeply ingrained after countless years of being beaten for even a single wrong look, that Tos'un realized only now that he had been measuring the situation by standards which probably did not fit it at all.
"How else would you gain clarity as to whether the two of you want the same thing?" Hralien wanted to know and frowned, still not quite understanding the reason for such a skittish reaction. "Does your own kin not talk about these things?" he asked, trying to find out if maybe the drow had some kind of taboo he did not know about.
"What is there to talk about?", Tos'un replied absently, still a bit dazed by the realization that he might have misinterpreted everything. "If a woman wants you she will have you. If she does not, all you can do is offer discreetly and wait."
The implications of that simple sentence only became clear as Hralien finally remembered that Menzoberranzanyr everyday-life was grounded in very a matriarchal society. It took him a moment to digest the dark realities which seemed to stand behind the statement Tos'un had just delivered so matter of factly.
"What if you do not wish it?" the moon elf asked softly, already knowing that he wouldn't like what he was to hear next.
"What I wished never had much impact on any woman", Tos'un told him wryly, but with a bitter resignation that spoke of long acceptance born of necessity. "It is usually quite unhealthy for any male to try and refuse the advances of a priestess of Lady Lolth."
"There is no way to refuse?" Hralien asked him with a choked voice, very obviously horrified by the mere idea.
"Only if you decide that ending on an altar with a sacrificial dagger in your heart is a better option than to simply bow your head, obey and hope to survive the encounter. There are times of course when not even that will help you."
Seeing the distress on Hralien's face as he absorbed this new information gave Tos'un a strange feeling of detachment, as if he was standing on the outside, watching somebody else talk about the painful truth of his life. At the same time it was oddly comforting though. All males in Menzoberranzan shared the same fate of course, but he had never met one who would actually go so far and display an amount of empathy which went beyond a common hatred of women in general.
"In Menzoberranzan I could be executed for either refusing or approaching a woman too boldly", he tried to explain his earlier reaction. "But since you appear so... surprised. I gather that your people do things a little differently?"
"I... yes we do", the other elf answered weakly, pale now even for one of his already light complexion. "I see the cause of your problem now though. You must understand that even if she would like to sleep with you, Sinnafain would never do so unless she was sure that you felt the same way. In a situation like this she probably felt it might be better to wait for you to make the first move, so you would not feel pressured."
He stopped when Tos'un just looked at him in wonder trying to digest this new revelation.
"She will not touch me unless I allow it", the drow repeated softly after some time, speaking mostly to himself as he tried to grasp this new concept. It seemed almost too good to be true, so with the typical reasoning of a dark elf Tos'un immediately began to search for possible repercussions.
"What about other males though?" the inquisitive drow wanted to know, throwing Hraliens mind into new turmoil.
"Males?" he asked carefully.
"Yes", the drow said, determined now to get to the bottom of this. "Say for example you wished to have me in your bed."
"Just in theory", Tos'un assured him, a little surprised by the discomfited expression. Seeing the moon elf so unsettled by the mere mention of it astonished him. He would not have minded such a command and had in fact been wondering about the possibility on their way back to the Moonwood. Hralien, despite his usually rather stern conduct, had never shown signs of being overtly sadistic, which had been reassuring enough to make the thought of service somewhat acceptable and even appealing. It was only now that Tos'un fully realized why the severe elf had never shown any clear sign of wanting to bed him. After spending some time pondering the issue, he had, at the time, simply assumed that, despite a few looks which had seemed to indicate something else, Hraliens tastes did not run in this direction after all. But that conclusion had obviously been grounded on false expectations.
"Take it as an example to help me understand?" the drow added for he still felt out of his depth in this. The border between things permitted and things forbidden was suddenly blurry and uncertain. Had Hralien been a drow it would have been expected that he demand some sort of service for his generosity and to suddenly find out the reason why he had not done so made Tos'un reconsider his earlier conclusions.
"Since you rank higher than me and I owe you, if we were in my hometown you could just order me to submit. In fact, considering that you brought me here, you would almost have to do it, in order to demonstrate your power over me or else you'd be seen as weak."
"Is that how you see it?"
Tos'un shrugged complacently, but started to frown soon after.
"Is that not how it is?" he asked growing more insecure with every passing second and hating it.
"Your people seem to place much importance on rank and power", Hralien remarked, trying to hide his discomfort with the topic, while the other seemed to be more at ease now that he was finally getting answers.
"Ironic for a society so enamoured of chaos, no?" he said dryly.
"Indeed. It looks like the differences are even bigger than I thought so far."
The words were spoken with a long, weary sigh following them. Such fundamental differences could indeed prove to be a serious problem, the moon elf reasoned to himself. This was obviously the time to be very clear about some lines that should never be crossed. Lines which did apparently not even exist in drow society.
"You must understand", Hralien told Tos'un with the most serious expression the drow had ever seen on his face, "that we do not and would never even think to engage in an intimate act of any kind, if there is any doubt about the complete willingness of every individual concerned. To do otherwise would dishonour us in a most despicable way. Whether you are male or female does not matter. You will respect the wishes of everybody whatever gender they are. Such close contact is meant to celebrate bonds of trust and affection and not for demonstrations of power or cruel games. If you decide to share your body with another then it should only be about pleasure for both of you."
Tos'un was silent for long moments, trying to wrap his mind around the obviously new way of thinking, turning and prodding it with a deepening frown. It was astounding for the moon elf to see how much trouble he seemed to have with this.
"What if you have something I want?" the drow hedged finally. "I would be considered a willing participant if I came to you and offered, no?"
Hralien could feel a headache starting to spread from the back of his neck. This was turning out to be more complicated than he had expected.
"Your body is not to be used for bargaining either!" he insisted emphatically, only succeeding in frustrating Tos'un further.
"But why?" the drow questioned, seemingly unable to grasp the difference. "If I wanted something from you and offered sex as compensation it would mutually beneficial and I'm quite sure I would enjoy it too."
"Maybe you would with me, but what if it wasn't me? We consider this an appalling practise for a reason. It is far too easy to degrade somebody that way."
With a hiss Tos'un let out the breath he had just sucked in. Having lived though his share of unwanted encounters he had to admit, that Hralien was right. It was often quite easy to use sex to humiliate ones enemies, once you managed to get hold of them. It was satisfying too, when you were the one with the power, but he didn't think that now would be a good time to mention this little detail to the agitated moon elf.
"If you do decide that you wish to get closer to Sinnafain, you would do well to remember my words", Hralien told him. It wasn't quite a threat, but a very clear warning nonetheless. Tos'un looked back at him out of wide red eyes, startled from his thoughts. Only weeks ago his first instinctive reaction would have been to counter one threat with another, but by now he had gained enough experience with the moon elves to guess that the warning words were really just that; a warning. And one that he would do well to heed.
"Yes", he finally said with a sigh of his own, rubbing two slender hands over his face in a tired gesture. "It will take me some time before I can really think of it in that context."
"I'm sorry then, for it looks as though you must have had some painful experiences in your life to feel this way. I hope in the years to come we can help you heal your wounds."
It came out a bit stiffly and formal, but Hralien meant what he said.
"I never knew anything else until I ran away", Tos'un said with a shrug. "And I never imagined that things would turn out like they have. This is all a bit harder than I had thought", the drow admitted, sounding quite lost now. "I suppose Drizzt questioning me about changes in my heart should have warned me. He seems to possess some kind of instinct for these things which I lack."
"The ranger has a very deep sense of justice, yes", the moon elf told him earnestly. "But, knowing what little I do of his life, I also think that he has paid a very high price for holding onto his ideals in spite of everything. Not everybody is able to do that."
"So you're providing me with an excuse?" Tos'un asked, a tiny mischievous smile suddenly appearing on his face. "Because I had a harsh childhood?"
Hralien lived through a short moment of consternation, before he caught the slight lift in the corners of dark skinned lips.
"Well, since you seem quite resilient, maybe I shouldn't cut you too much slack", he shot back, before he became serious again. "I must confess though, that you are doing better than I expected. Especially in the light of what you have just told me. I can only begin to imagine the differences between the everyday life of your kin and mine. Dealing with such profound changes must be exhausting at times. We all realize that."
"Sinnafain helps me much", he confessed. "Without her it would be much more difficult, but she never seems to run out of patience, even when at times I do some rather stupid things. She is the most patient woman I have ever met. She merely sits down and explains everything to me, without asking for anything in return", Tos'un paused before adding: "Which, by the way, was the only reason why I managed to convince myself that it would be a good idea to come to you tonight."
"You were hoping that I would do the same?"
"Have my answers been to your satisfaction then?"
"It has been a very enlightening conversation so far."
"But you were not sure if I would ask for... compensation, in return for any help I might give?"
"I was thinking that you would probably be generous, but it goes against a lifetime of experience which has lead me to expect otherwise."
"Well", Hralien said slowly. "I think I will actually ask you for a compensation of sorts."
"I am asking for your honesty."
"I suppose in my case that counts."
A wry expression crossed the dark skinned face at these words. Tos'un wondered fleetingly if Hralien knew how much he was asking from him, for, after leading a life in which deception was a necessary skill for survival, now there were times when he could hardly decide himself if he was lying or not.
"After hearing you talk so casually about the sort of abuse which we consider among the most terrible and repulsive things that can be done to another, for the safety of everybody concerned, I feel I must ask: Are you confident that you can keep in mind what I have told you about our view on this matter and act accordingly? And I mean not only where Sinnafain is concerned, but everybody else as well."
Tos'un surprised himself by saying: "Yes!" before he had consciously decided or even really thought about anything. He did not really resent Hralien for the doubtful look the moon elf was giving him at the quick answer though.
"I can see why you would be sceptical of course", the drow told Hralien. "And I must admit that I would probably feel the same, were I in your place. I will, with all the honesty you have just demanded of me, also admit, that in the past I have acted no different than the rest of my kin and done things which I'm sure you would never condone. But you must realize too, how much I have to lose now and how much I have learned already. I would not throw this life away for just a moment of thrill."
And he really would not. In fact he would go to great lengths to be allowed to stay, Tos'un realized as he said the words. It was frightening how quickly you could get used to the open friendly behaviour the moonelf clan was displaying towards him every day. It was almost addictive.
"Thrill", Hralien repeated frowning again. He did not like the implications of the last sentence.
"You asked for the truth", Tos'un reminded him calmly, only the new tension in his shoulders betraying his sudden worry about offending the moon elf with his admission. The plain, naked truth was a double edged blade and one he did not have too much experience in handling yet. "Having power over another can be a heady experience, whatever your intentions", he tried to explain carefully. "Just as there is a certain freedom sometimes in giving all power away, as long as you can be reasonably certain that the other will not kill or maim you on a whim. To let everything go and just feel for a short time can be very liberating."
"I asked for the truth, but that does not mean I have to like what I hear", Hralien reminded the drow pointedly. "It is true though, that such things are not entirely unknown among my people", he amended after a moment. "But there is always a way to stop. Encounters like that have to be grounded on trust. Even more so than at any other time."
He sounded doubtful enough to make it clear, that this was not an everyday practise.
"Have you experienced this yourself?" Tos'un asked, his red eyes suddenly alight with curiosity but also something else, something almost challenging.
To his own surprise Hralien found himself shivering slightly under the intense gaze. And he was sure the perceptive drow noticed it as well.
"No", he said, his throat suddenly, inexplicably dry. "I've never felt the need."
"But you have considered trying it?" Tos'un pressed on.
Hralien suddenly saw himself at a loss, for he had no answer to that. It had just never occurred to him to go down that particular road. Now that he examined it in his own mind, he found a surprising lack of resistance to the concept itself though. Talked into a corner by a drow who can not even speak elven fluently yet, he thought with an internal shake of his head and gave an uncertain shrug in answer.
"It is not something we talk about much", Hralien added after a few seconds. "We are aware of the theory, but only very few chose to act on it."
Tos'un smiled, looking up to him through wisps of white hair and put his empty cup aside.
"Most of the time theory does not compare to the actual thing, you know?"
A single dark fingertip accompanied the softly spoken words as it travelled along his wrist. A small touch, fleeting like the wind, but electrifying nonetheless. Taken off guard by the sudden forwardness Hralien just stared, his dark blue eyes wide in the pale face. A peculiar feeling was spreading from the base of his spine. A strange almost panic mixed with expectation that was as exhilarating as it was unsettling. He swallowed but offered no resistance, surprised enough that he was unable to decide whether he wanted this unsettling behaviour to continue or not. Tos'un slowly crept nearer until he kneeled over the moon elf's lap, all the while carefully watching the conflicting emotions playing out on the pale face in front of him.
"You said there must be a way to stop?" Tos'un murmured, hoping that the question would not destroy the fragile moment. It was necessary though. He knew he was treading on very shaky ground here, but he had come to the conclusion that a demonstration would benefit both of them. If the moon elf still believed him to be trustworthy after this Tos'un knew that the conviction would run much deeper if there was an actual experience involved. He also felt more comfortable approaching another male like this. It was almost familiar, because he still felt that, despite their cultural differences, they had more of a common ground than he would have had with a female. While he was honestly interested in a similar encounter with Sinnafain, Tos'un was also sure that it would be more awkward for him to make any kind of opening move as she seemed to expect him to. Especially if he wasn't entirely clear about the social boundaries he had to observe while doing it. Maybe being with Hralien first would give him the assurance he needed to take such a step. At least he would be able to experience what the other had told him. Just talking about it made it hard to grasp when he had long years of experience behind him which had taught him differently.
"Will it suffice, if I assure you that you only need to say the word?" Tos'un whispered into a pointed ear as he bowed nearer and nimbly slipped his own hands along Hralien's arms, down to the wrists to gently tug them behind his back. In his thighs he could feel the other tremble beneath him as he held the wrists with a one handed grip so he was free to bury the fingers of the other in the moon elf's straight black hair. The dark strands slipped over his fingers like water.
A sharp inhalation followed when the drow's fingers grazed the tip of one sensitive ear. As he leaned back again Tos'un could see a wary acceptance in the other's face, tinged with disbelief. If that was aimed at Hralien himself for allowing the drow to take such action or at Tos'un for actually being so bold as to think he would be allowed to do as he wished, the drow could not say.
Hralien felt as if he was standing on a cliff looking down. The moment before the jump, the glorious, frightening expectation of cool, rushing air, of falling towards the shocking impact when you suddenly met with icy water all that was similar, he thought. Did he trust Tos'un to control his fall though? It seemed there was only one way to find out.
"For now", Hralien breathed, eyelids fluttering with the sensation of an agile finger expertly stroking along the fine edge of his ear. He did not sound very sure of himself in that moment though, which prompted Tos'un to slow in his advance. This was not some common soldier from the house ranks, with whom he could do as he liked, he reminded himself. And it was not his intention to cause serious hurt after all. Something that he hadn't had to consider all that often in his life. He had always learned better by practice and example though and he was determined to master this as well. It was important to balance things right, he thought. A little fear and uncertainty to keep the other on the edge, to fuel the excitement, but not enough to tip the mood towards real panic. He would have to observe very closely then.
"Will you close your eyes for me?" he asked, moving things along a lot slower than he would usually have done, stroking a bare, light skinned arm as if trying to calm a skittish rothe, but still keeping his other hand wrapped tightly around Hralien's wrists, pinning them at the small of his back. It was mostly just an illusion of power at this point, because not only was the moon elf nearly a head taller than the slender drow, but he was also a very able fighter of his own right and could have broken the grip had he really wished to. But sometimes the conscious decision to give control away was the most important part of all. Tos'un could clearly recognize the moment when Hralien finally decided to jump off the cliff. He did close his eyes, leaned his head back and his whole body seemed to relax at the same time, patiently waiting for whatever the drow had in store for him.
The amount of apparent trust, so suddenly and freely placed in him, almost had Tos'un gasp. This was not the powerless resignation or resentful lust he was used to from helpless underlings and prisoners. It was a new experience and the sudden sense of responsibility that came with it surprised the drow. He was honestly amazed at this ability Hralien had just shown, for while he had experienced the sensation of transition himself, he had never been able to just give over all power so suddenly, completely and out of his own will. It had always had to be taken from him in some way.
"Good", he murmured, still trying to sort through his unexpected feelings and let an agile tongue slide up the milky throat, while his free hand nimbly started to push up the soft, brown fabric of Hraliens sleeveless tunic. It had been a while since he had last done this with someone he considered if not an equal then at least close in forms of rank and abilities. Ad'non had never been interested enough and Tos'un had not been able to find a fitting opportunity to convince him otherwise. At least none that wouldn't have included upsetting Donnia. And he would never have dreamed of asking anything like that from Kaer'lic, even though she had been surprisingly generous at times.
"You will not open your eyes again until I give you permission to", the drow said, taking care to sound commanding, but not too threatening. He got up from his position on Hraliens lap and moved behind the moonelf. He quickly pulled the other's garment over his head to drag it down his arms and wind it tightly around the moon elf's wrists. His own hands now free he settled himself behind Hraliens back and let his fingers explore. Gently for now. Something which Hralien seemed to appreciate, as he leant into the touch with a quiet hum of approval, fairly melting against the drow. Something which made Tos'un wonder how long it had been since the other had last experienced closeness of any kind.
Fascinated by the rosy tinge which was slowly spreading on heating cheeks the dark elf wound himself around the pliant body before him to have a better view. How interesting. Pale skin definitely had some advantages he decided.
"You blush prettily", he grinned, causing the tinge to become more pronounced as Hralien bit his lip, looking faintly embarrassed. An unusual expression on the normally unmoved visage and one which only made Tos'un wish to break through the controlled demeanour all the more, to see what was lying underneath. The moon elf did keep his eyes closed though, as he had been told. He was still relaxed. Almost too much so. Tos'un decided to start exploring the new boundaries more thoroughly and began by moving back behind the other to slip one of his hands into black hair again. Only this time his hold was markedly rougher as he dragged Hralien's head to one side, exposing the vulnerable neck.
"How far would you let me go?" he breathed across the sensitive skin. His tone mostly relaxed and almost teasing, but somehow managing to convey something dangerous at the same time, which sent a sudden shiver racing down the pale elf's spine that settled somewhere deep in his gut. Before Hralien could formulate an answer to that ominous question though, the darkly smiling drow quickly reached across his chest, pinching one rosy nipple. The small spike of pain was gone as fast as it had come, but the unexpectedness of it all forced a surprised squawk from the moonelf.
Tos'un was gratified to note how the other's breathing was beginning to quicken. Even if he had never considered it before, Hralien nonetheless seemed to have a certain appreciation for games like this. If he managed not to overstep his pace and scare the moonelf out of his complacent mood this evening might prove to be not only enlightening, but quite satisfying as well. Despite his honest intentions to learn and adapt Tos'un was still drow enough to enjoy the power he had been temporarily granted. He could feel himself reacting already and pressed himself closer to the warm back in front of him, so that Hralien might know it too.
"How much can you take?" Tos'un murmured, his lips slowly sliding across one shoulder blade, before he bit down. Not so hard as to draw blood, but painful enough to force a sharp gasp from the unprepared Hralien whose back arched in a purely instinctual reaction. Again the drow prevented any attempt at an answer, choosing instead to pull back Hralien's head to kiss him harshly, revealing part of the urgency which was starting to pool in his belly. After a split second spent in surprised stiffness the moon elf kissed back with equal fervour.
Despite his calculating words he had better finish this quickly, Tos'un thought. For the more time he spent playing the greater the chance that the moon elf would suddenly reach his limits and try to end things. If Hralien told him to stop he would have to obey, no matter how much he would have liked to continue, to soak up the reactions, to torment and hear the resulting moans, torn between pain and pleasure. Tos'un had no illusions about that. It was the price for his life here and he would pay it. There would always be a certain part of him though, he realized at that moment, which would be yearning to ignore all rules and to simply delight instead in the vindictive satisfaction which could be derived from wielding absolute power over another being. That small part of him would always remain drow, however long he lived here. As he stared at the quickly reddening mark his bite had left on milky skin, he couldn't quite decide if that was a bad thing.
Hralien was surprised. He had never expected to be so affected by few simple words and touches. Nonetheless Tos'un's whispered questions made him wish for more, even while he was shivering at the prospect. The quick flash of disappointment when the drow removed the restraining tunic from his wrists was unexpected. It left as fast as it had come though as Hralien felt himself be pushed backwards by insistent hands until he was laying flat among the cushions. Nimble black fingers went to work and very soon he could feel cool air on the bare skin of his legs. It contrasted sharply with the hot mouth and scratching nails which were dragged roughly along the inside of his thigh. The moonelf moaned helplessly, spreading his legs further to give Tos'un more space.
It had all to do with the atmosphere one created Hralien decided hazily, for while he was aware that so far Tos'un hadn't been doing anything too drastic to him, the possibility that he could and might was almost tangible and somehow that made all the difference. Even years later he would never be able to quite explain how exactly this evening had differed from everything else that he had experienced up to then. He was so absorbed in all the surprising new things he was feeling, that the spit slicked finger worming his way into his entrance was only a logical conclusion of all that had come before. Hralien had just enough presence of mind left to give an incoherent mumble about oil and point into the general direction of the small shelf to the right, where he kept it.
Entranced by glowing, silky skin and the sight of the pale, wiry body stretched out beneath him Tos'un needed a moment to actually register the mumbled words, but he managed to decipher the general meaning quickly enough. It was an excellent idea really, especially since he didn't want to cause too much pain. Something which was becoming harder and harder to remember the more got caught up in their play. He took a moment to compose himself as he let the cool oil drip on his fingers. It was just so tempting! What would it be like to really use this power he had so trustingly been granted? Hralien obviously expected him to stop if he needed it, but what if Tos'un decided that he didn't want to? It was a bad idea, he knew that, but in the sudden, giddy rush that gripped him as he felt himself entering the welcoming heat and slickness of the moon elf's body, that knowledge lost quite a bit of its power somehow. He just had to go a little further. Walk a little closer to the edge. As one slippery hand closed around the reddened penis, that was eagerly pointing up towards his stomach, the other wandered higher, past the sensitive dip of a navel, past the even more sensitive peaks of small rosy nipples until it reached an irresistible destination.
As he felt long fingers very slowly closing around his throat Hralien still managed to keep his eyes shut. Combined with everything else the slight choking produced an indescribable feeling, almost like he was really falling. Only very much later he realized with some surprise, that he had never even considered breaking the hold Tos'un had had on him then.
The drow on the other hand was quite relieved that he had told the other to keep his eyes closed, for he was not sure if the moon elf would have kept up this obedient submission had he been able to see the look on Tos'un's face at that moment, which revealed not only a rather unsettling fascination, but also his internal struggle to keep things at this level without taking it too far, even though by now he desperately wanted to just that. Panting he fought down the insidious urge to tighten his grip and squeeze harder until the other would truly squirm in fear. He had to end things fast or he'd find himself doing something he would bitterly regret later on. Imagining how the forbidden scene would look, he now closed his own eyes and worked harder to drag Hralien along on the quickest path towards completion. Relief and regret filled Tos'un to equal parts as his orgasm crashed over him. He had just enough presence of mind left to release his grip on the moon elf's throat at precisely the right time. The sudden rush of air, along with a harshly whispered: "Come for me. Now!" did their work beautifully and resulted in what sounded mostly like a whimper and a sudden, sticky wetness on his fingers and stomach.
Afterwards the two elves clung together for some time, each caught up in their own moment of revelation, catching their breath and trying to come to terms with this night's discovery.
"You can open your eyes now", Tos'un finally mumbled, trying to lighten the mood, when he felt the silence becoming a bit too oppressive. He did not really dare yet to look at Hralien directly though, his almost slip still very present in his mind. Even now he could feel the temptation in the back of his mind, insistently pulling at his thoughts.
"Do you understand now, what I meant when I said that it all had to be grounded on trust?"
Despite his almost lecturing tone Hralien sounded shaken. He was trying to cover up how deeply this had affected him, the drow decided, but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. For he was beginning to feel the same. What if he had really done what he had only allowed himself to imagine? All he had been trying to achieve, everything he had built here until now, it all would have been in danger and he alone would have been to blame for it. He felt almost sick with a flash of cold, sudden fear. It scared him to admit how close he had come to abandoning all caution.
When Tos'un did not answer for too long, Hralien shifted until he could see the dark elf's face.
"I see that you do", he said, his composure slipping a bit, to reveal the unease he felt at the realization. "Talk to me", he added.
"I...", Tos'un began, but faltered unsure of how much he could dare to reveal even now. This had not gone quite as he had planned it.
"The truth", Hralien reminded him, suddenly finding a hidden reserve of his usual sternness.
"I couldn't have done what you just did for me", the drow finally admitted, looking away.
"Because you don't trust yourself?"
"Not quite yet."