The marvelous misadventures of Mike and John: Day 2

8:30 AM: "Micheal Delano, I presume?" John said in his Irish accent, smirking under his mask as he walked to join his partner, Mike at their usual spot of patrolling, the train station.

"Just shut the fuck up and let's just get on to our shifts." Miked replied

"Wow, temper, temper." John said and half raised his hands up in an innocent way.

"Shut up, I've had a bad morning."

"What, girlfriend break up wit' ya?"

"What? No! We can't have girlfriends 'member? The Combine installed the… uh…. Thingy, and now we don't have sexual urges!!"

"Right, right. So what DID happen?"

"Some decided to prank me, so he stole my wallet, put extreme amounts of salt and pepper in my coffee AND as an added bonus, unscrewed my chair!"

"Shite, that's bad." John said, thanking God that his mask hid his giant grin, although his giggles could not be as hidden as well.

"John. Did you do all that stuff to me?" Mike asked in a soft, threatening tone.

"Y-y-yes." John said in between giggles.

Mike lit up his stun stick.

"Aw, shite" John said, before he saw an electrocuted stun baton heading for his face

9:30 AM: "Ughhhhh" John awoke with a massive headache. It felt like some had just hit him over and over again with a stun bato- Hey, that was what happened!

"Welcome back to reality, dickhead. Now gimme back my wallet." Mike said. John did as he was told, pulling it out of his back pocket.

"And you owe me a cup of coffee. Also, you have to come by my place to screw back my chairs."

"T-t-that's what she said." John said meekly.

Mike lit up his stun stick again.


"Ok, so back to patrolling the station?" Mike offered.


They walked past the canteen, out onto the train station platform. Then, they saw the most peculiar thing happen.

The train that was coming stopped next to the platform, and three people came out. One was African-American looking and walked normally, the second pushed past a man who was standing at the door way, the second man looked Caucasian, and sported a briefcase, he gave the man at the doorway one glance, and went off.

The man at the doorway of the train was the most strangest person Mike and John had seen. He followed the other passengers and stepped out, he sported a goatee and wore a pair of thick rimmed, black spectacles with disheveled hair. He looked curiously at the scanner that flew towards him, the scanner took his picture, and the man promptly half shouted "Gah!"

The man opened his eyes and looked like he was trying to blink the spots away. Such a sight was uncommon, a person surprised at a scanner. The two ex-passengers looked at him like he was juggling chainsaws with his feet while talking about 'The infection'. The goateed man then just gave them a smile and a half wave. That was uncommon too. Someone smiling?

"Dude, that guy's acting strange." John whispered to his friend.

"Mmmhmm, I think this might top Mike and Dave finding that guy with no shadow." Mike said.

"The OTHER Mike, yeah?"

"Yes, John" Mike replied irritably.

The man then walked up to 'The crossroads' as Mike and John had called it. He went to the right. The man looked through the fence. He saw a Vort sweeping, the Vort promptly stopped its activities and looked at him with his sad, red eye. The Vort's head then twitched, as if recognizing him, the Vort wanted to move towards him, but knew better. He looked at the Metrocop behind him, looked at the man, then continued sweeping. The Metrocop behind the Vort, Jason, as he was called, took his stun stick and ordered the man to move away. The man then looked at the giant screen on the wall of the middle of the crossroads. He watched the Breencast intently. He furrowed his brows, then walked away.

The man approached the Metrocop who was taking away the belongings of a citizen.

"Please, it's all I have left."

The Metrocop gave the citizen a customary shove to the citizen's ribs. The man looked like he was starting to reach for something, but stopped.

"Move away." The Metrocop said.

"All right, I'm moving." The citizen muttered.

The man moved on, seemingly in deep thought. He approached the turnstiles and pushed past them. There was a woman with mousy brown hair and chocolate brown skin. Mik and John couldn't hear them since they were so far away.

"Wow." Mike said first.

"Yeah, I know. He acts like he's never seen the Combine." John replied.

"Think we should follow 'im?"

"No thank you." John said, shaking his head.


10:30 AM: "Remember what life was like before the Combine?" Mike asked his partner.

"Pretty suckish. We had the Global Warming problem, we were running out of fuel, there were so many natural disasters." John answered.

"Hm, yeah. I guess you're right." Mike replied.


12:40 PM: "Heya Tom, it's Bob, from the office down the hall." Mike started singing

"Good to see ya buddy, how's it been?" John sang

"Things have been okay for me, except that I'm a zombie now."

"I really wish you'd let us in."

"I think I speak for all of us, when I say I understand" Mike sang

"Why you folks might hesitate, to submit to our demand."

"But here's an FYI: you're all gonna die screaming!!"John boomed.

"ALL WE WANT TO DO IS EAT YOUR BRAINS!!!" Sang Tom, from all the way across the street.

"We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes" Mike sang.

"ALL WE WANT TO DO IS EAT YOUR BRAINS!!!" Chorused more and more people, even citizens.

"We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:" John sang

"If you open up your doors, WE'LL ALL COME INSIDE AND EAT YOUR BRAINS!!!!!" Chorused practically the whole town.

"Sonuvuabitch, the Combine would hate this." Mike said to John.

"WHO BLOODY CARES?" John replied.

2:00 PM : "So then, I killed the fluffy dog with a shovel!!!" John exclaimed to Mike.

"Dude, what the hell? Your story sucks." Mike replied.

"Yeah, well. Let's see YOU do better!." John pointed a finger at Mike.


"There once was a man in Peru. Who thought that he was eating his shoe. He awoke with a fright, on a Saturday night, to see… That I killed his whole family." Mike said.



"The fuck…..?"

4:00 PM: "Oh, shite." John said.


"Look at the Citadel, scanners are pouring out from everywhere."

"What?..... Oh, shit. You're right. Jesus, what could have happen?"

"Jesus, really?" John looked at Mike questioningly.


"I'm Jewish."

"Well, Sawh-re. Jesus, didn't know you were so uppity 'bout it."

"Again, Mike?"


6:00 PM: "Well, I'm fucking heading home." Mike said, stretching. "Have fun wit' your Leprechauns and such."

"Not…. Cool." John said in between a yawn.

"See ya when I see ya, John."

"Yeah, Mike."

Ohhhhh, day two. I couldn't get this one out of my head. Also, I make some references to some stories. +20 Points if you can answer them. Also, to the author of the story I made a reference to, hope you don't mind, yeah?