Console Chaos

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis.

One Shot

Carol Danvers, the blonde Air Force brat Miss Marvel, sat in the kitchen, sighing. For weeks, she had tried to show a boy she liked that she would be a better girlfriend than Farrah, the white-haired teen Persiana. She groaned in her head,

Out of all the women on the West Coast Avengers, Leon has to pick that whiny, furry tramp. God, how does he put up with her?

Sam Wilson, the African-American teen hero the Falcon, came in the room with a large box. Redwing, Sam's partner and pet bird, had flown in ahead of his master and perched on the countertop. Sam said,

"Care package for you, Carol."

Carol smiled,

"Thanks, Sam."

She opened it and instantly squealed,

"It's here! They sent it to me!"
Tossing the packaging peanuts aside, she pulled out a smaller box, some of the electrical cables, and another box and dashed to the nearest TV set.

The sounds of her squeals attracted the other teens from the West Coast Avengers. Farrah and Leon, the hero known as Crisis, had come from upstairs, where it was evident the two had been making out. The cat-girl grumbled,

"What's with the yelling, Barbie? I was in the middle of something important."

Sam grinned,

"So, Leon; get lucky yet?"

The red-eyed swordsman responded,

"Sam, please. That isn't appropriate."

Carol, without even looking up, scoffed,

"Trust me; Farrah and appropriate don't go together."

The lioness shot back,

"So are blondes and brain cells, Barbie."

Crystal, the Inhuman elementalle princess, said,


Natasha Romanoff, the teen heroine Black Widow, shook her head,

"I don't think you should have said that, Farrah."

Hercules, the teen god of strength, nodded,

"Aye, furry one. Crystal can get quite angry when she wants to."

T'challa, the Wakandan prince Black Panther, asked,

"Has she forgiven Wanda for the latest round of insults?"

Leon said,

"That depends; does sending a flaming tornado in a box count as forgiveness?"

Sam blinked,

"I had no idea she could use her powers like that."

The red-eyed swordsman shrugged,

"Pyro didn't seem to mind, until that tornado ignited the weapons cache on base. Gyrich gave an earful to us after that one."

Carol turned around and folded her arms,

"That's enough horror stories for now. Allow me to present to you the greatest gift to mankind since the invention of the wheel; my own Super NES system!"

The teens looked and saw the purple and gray system hooked up to the TV, with the wired controllers and the classic gray cartridges lined up in an organizer.

Leon smirked,

"Nice. Do you have any of the RPG games?"

Carol looked around,

"I got Chrono Trigger, Earthbound, and Final Fantasy 3." (1)

Leon grinned,


Carol continued,

"I also have Super Mario World, Super Mario Kart, Killer Instinct, Street Fighter 2, and, my personal favorite; Star Fox!"

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"You play these games?"

The blonde teen nodded. The feral Avenger waved off,

"Whatever. I prefer to do activities that require my body in motion; mainly gymnastics."

She tugged on her boyfriend's shoulder,

"Come on, Leon. I'll teach you how to tumble."

Carol smugly remarked,

"Afraid to lose to me, furball?"

Farrah had just gotten to the doorway when she turned around,

"What did you say, Barbie?"

The Air Force brat admired her nails,

"I think it's high time you accepted the idea that I'm simply a better woman than you, Farrah."

The furry feline teen snarled,

"You? Better than me? Don't make me laugh, Barbie. You've practically won the title of 'Biggest Airhead' this side of the continental U.S."

Leon felt a headache flare up. He rubbed his head and tried to focus again, but it did not go unnoticed. Persiana held him,

"Oh, my poor boyfriend isn't feeling well. Auntie Farrah will take care of you."

She continued dragging him to his room. Carol called out,

"Scaredy Cat!"

There was an irate growl, and Persiana stormed back into the room. The feral teen shouted,

"Oh, it's on now, Barbie!"

The red-eyed hero groaned,

"This is not going to end well."

Ten minutes later…

Farrah screamed at her teammate. Carol had selected 'Super Mario Kart' as the first game to play, and the furry feline lost every round she had played. The blonde Air Force brat smugly remarked,

"Who's the better woman now, Farrah?"

Persiana shrieked,


She threw the controller down and hissed,

"That's it! Die!"

She lunged at Carol and a brawl broke out. The two teen girls rolled around on the floor, pulling on each other's hair. Carol attempted to pin Farrah, while Farrah tried to wiggle free and claw her rival's eyes. The two continued rolling, eventually coming towards Leon. The red-eyed pre-cog floated in the air and watched as the two arch-nemeses tried to kill each other. Crisis groaned,

"This has got to stop."

He then flew after them, calling out,

"Ladies, please don't destroy anything!"

Falcon looked at the console and took a controller,

"Who wants to play?"

Hercules said,

"If there be a fighting game, I am in!"

End of Console Chaos

(1) Final Fantasy Six was originally released as Final Fantasy 3 in the United States for the SNES.