Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI and TDA. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Do not try any of this at home (except for the kissing, but with non-family members).

The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - Let us carry on, eh? Before that, I want to give a shout-out to two people who have inspired this particular one-shot, and are among my many friends who continue to encourage me to write these stories. A very naughty and fun Tiger named 070986, who lurks on Deviant Art; go check out her awesome stuff, including a darn fine drawing of wicked Mandy. And Patriot44 also gets a big shout-out; you can find him here and on DA too.

Go check them out, as well as my other favorited friends when you all can. So many of them don't get enough attention, and they really deserve more credit for all the work they do.

Warning - This particular story has got yuri in it. Not action in bed (or wherever else you naughty people can think of), but implications and insinuations. If that disturbs you, sorry, but it is a straight pairing overall.

Speaking of which, I still wonder if I should be T or M for these stories. Sex is so much more fun to write about than just implications, but I don't want to drive away those too young to read such stuff (then again, what's "too young" these days?). You people make the call.

Story Two - Unholy Mistress, Candy!




As the contestants of Total Drama Battlegrounds awaited the next movie, there was already a good deal of talk on which two would be next; however, one didn't just want to chat.

Alfred approached Crystal, who was busy at the controls, and caught her attention. "So this machine can make things science-fiction, fantasy, or other wild things?"

"Yes, but it can also make things realistic."

"Naw, don't do that! Do something wild and out there!"

Crystal giggled, and said, "Oh, all right. And which bird do you want to be paired up with, Alfred?"

"No no, not me. At least not yet," he said. He leaned over to whisper into her ear, pointing at a certain platinum-haired cultist. Crystal giggled some more, and nodded.

"Oh, I can think of a certain situation to put her in," she said, grinning impishly, "but the TDI boy will be random."

"Thank you very much, m'lady."

"No problem, young chap."

They exchanged a smile before he went to go sit down. Vera's screens came to life a couple minutes later, and most were surprised to see a city view of a large metropolis. What was more surprising was the rather large, evil-looking castle looming at the outskirts of the city, looking imposing and dominating, taller than the skyscrapers. The camera zoomed in, and eventually made its way into the throne room...

(The Kingdom of Mistress Mandy)

Mistress Mandy, ruler of Earth, sat on her throne. The throne room was rather small, simply because she preferred privacy when sitting upon her regal seat. The dark purple linen, the red eyes on the darkened silver metal frame, and the soft cushions were a sign of power, cruelty, and fluffy comfort.

It had been three years since she had controlled the world. She had prepared for Cthulhu's rise, and had somehow managed to use her powers to enslave the mighty Old God. Now forever under her control, the world was hers, as no one and nothing was strong enough to slay the mighty beast.

This turned out to be rather easy too. She just put a few world rules into effect, and for the most part, everyone obeyed. Sure, it's hard managing the entire world, and micromanagement can only do so much. But so long as major terrorist groups were disbanded, slavery and suppression of women abolished worldwide, and that damn Hannah Montana show canceled, Mandy was happy.

That was, until now. Mandy had been picking up pastimes to pass the time now that she controlled the world, and was starting to get a little bored. She pushed a button on the control panel of her throne. "Send Izzy in here, Miss Anderson."

"As you wish, Mandy."

Mandy pursed her lips. "Look, you know, just because we're good friends doesn't mean I'm going to allow you get away with calling me like that, without, like, a title and all."

"Well, are you going to force me to do so?"

"Naw, I wouldn't do that."

"I appreciate that, you are a sweetheart."


"Righto, Mandy," came the cheerful, giggling reply, "God be with you!"

The mistress of everything dark and sinister face-palmed. "No, I control Cthulhu... oh fine, I'll let you be nice. Your God is obviously nice enough to allow me to control this puny world, so I guess I should be grateful to Him."

The main door to the throne room entered, and Izzy came bounding in, slamming it shut behind her. She was dressed in tight clothing, a dark green tint to them, showing off her curves and features. Her most prominent feature was still, of course, her crafty grin.

"Yes, O' Mistress of Sexy Proportions and Devious Plans?" Izzy asked, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

Mandy rolled her eyes. Izzy had a tendency to stretch her title. With a wave of her hand, she said, "I am starting to get rather bored, and have decided I need a little... attention."


Izzy approached Mandy's throne, and got down on her knees in front of the queen, very close. She helped pull the cultist's legs apart, and leaned forward, hands sliding up Mandy's skirt to reach her panties.

"No, not now," Mandy shouted, bonking Izzy on the head with her fist. "Another time, you redheaded nympho!"

Izzy pouted and rubbed the sore spot of her head. "Well if you don't want a sexual favor, don't insinuate it, my mistress!"

"Fair enough. What I do want... is a man."

Izzy's eyes widened, then she grinned again. She pulled out a bag of toys from behind her, and began fishing in it.

"If you pull out of there what I think you are," Mandy barked, "forget it! I want a real man!"

Izzy pouted again. "Fine, fine. I suppose you want me to go get one for you."

"Please be so kind, my friend."

"Hey, you're the mistress ruler of the whole world, why are you always so nice to me?"

"We're alone, silly, I don't need to keep up appearances for you with that."

"Fair enough! Now, what kind of man?"

"You should know. And if not, go ask Hannah, she's closer to me."

"Oh, your secretary? That's cool, but what a boring job."

Mandy frowned at her. "That was originally your job! I don't know how you became my sexy servant and plants tender."

"The ferns are getting lovely."

"Fine, fine, now get me a man!"

(Much man searching later.)

"Not only did I find one for you, Mistress of Sexy Loins and World Leader," Izzy said as she tugged on the leather leash, "but I also scored me a date tonight!"

"That's lovely, Izzy."

The redhead giggled. "His name is Ezekiel, and he's got the cutest toque and I love how shy and nice he is-"

"Yes, good, perfect, leave me be with my new man!"

Izzy nodded and skipped out, leaving the man in the room with Mandy. Said man was Cody, looking rather nervous but rather excited when he saw the ruler of the world approach her.

Cody stared at that purple-black dress that fitted Mandy's sleek frame very well, the cleavage on it displaying her ample breasts generously. The strong hands, one clenching her favorite dagger, looked eager to grope him.

And they did. After Mandy sheathed her blade in its scabbard (which was under her skirt, and Cody got a good look at her legs that way), she circled around him. He was shirtless, wearing tan pants, and his hair was slightly unkempt. The cultist leader caressed him with her fingertips, feeling up his shoulders, chest, and neck.

"What an adorable, boyish frame you have," she purred, running a finger around his nipple. "Izzy knew well. That, or Hannah told her."

Cody managed to grin at her, despite all nervousness. "Hey, your majesty, if I'm yours, that's cool."

Mandy raised an eyebrow. "That's 'cool', eh? The mistress of the world wants you as her man toy, her sexual partner purely for her own pleasure, to be dismissed and possibly executed when done with, and you think it's cool?"

"Yeah, I kind of do."

Mandy blinked at him. This was rather unexpected, and they were even the same age. She noticed, for the first time, that his hands were tied behind his back, and that he was wearing a collar with a leather leash attached. This kind of domination would make anyone humble or defiant, but he was still flirty, like a college boy on campus.

"So you submit to my demands?"

"You know it, babe."


"But you are."

Mandy fumed, then corrected herself. "If you're going to rebellious, I got news for you."

She leaned forward, her red eyes looking into eyes with a devious twinkle. "I have plans for you. Because I'm going to do to you what no man can stand, not even the strangest could find pleasant or fun. You are going to do whatever I want... because you are the person I can do anything, and I mean that with the strongest sense of the word, anything to."

(In Mistress Mandy's bedroom.)

"And in fourth grade, that Edward boy told me I had *hic* stupid hair," Mandy sobbed, covering her face and blubbering nonstop. "He *sob* spat on me! *hic* And the other kids were laughing, and spitting on me too! And the teacher didn't *hic, sob* do anything about it!"

Mandy had been doing this for some time, leaning against the side of her bed and telling her life story. As many would guess from a woman who now controlled the world and considered her reign the most evil of all, she didn't have a happy one.

None of this deterred Cody. He sat down next to her the whole time, rubbing her back and occasionally holding her hand. He helped hand tissues to her, and had gone through several boxes already. Her diabolical make-up was a tear-soaked mess.

"But... but... that's not the worst of it," Mandy choked on her words. "The worst thing ever... was when I started crying, and they all started laughing harder! *hic, sob, wah* And the teacher... she... she said I should stop overreacting! With tears and other peoples' spit running down my face!"

She let out another series of good crying sobs, tears running down her face now too, snot dripping from her nose, saliva caking her trembling lips. All these ugly signs of someone losing it completely in her misery, and yet Cody didn't look away. When her hands failed her, he helped rub away all the water and mucus from her face.

"Did you do anything to them when you took over the world?" he asked her when she had somewhat recovered.

"N-no. I mean, I rule the freaking world, I showed them I'm better."

"That's the best kind of revenge, lead a better life," Cody said, smiling at her as he finished cleaning away her tears. "Feel better?"

"Y-yeah, I do," she admitted. She looked over at him, blinking in confusion. "W-wait, you actually care?"

"Of course I do."

"But... but why? I'm the evil bitch queen who controls the world with a dark, iron fist!"

"Naw, you're not. To me, every girl is special. Heck, my first major crush was a goth girl in high school."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a one-armed hug. "To me, you're beautiful, even when crying and confessing like this. Every girl has something special about them, and your ability to be so tough yet so sweet underneath is what makes you special."

"The mistress of everything tough and dark," she muttered, looking away as she rubbed her sore eyes, "cannot afford to be sweet."

"But you are," Cody said, smiling at her. He gave her a gap-tooth grin, one that made her heart flutter. The technogeek leaned in and gave her a kiss on her soft cheek. "If you want to act diabolical and cruel, you can, but I'm sorry. You cannot fool me."

"How... how do you know that? A girl like me acting like that is actually not what she seems like?"

"The goth girl acted the same. Plus, you have a lot of stuffed animals for your supposedly cruel bedroom."

"I cannot bear to throw away my teddies," she grumbled, huddling up behind her legs. "They mean a lot to me."

"Well, Mistress Mandy-"

"Call me Mandy when we're alone, my man service servant."

"Alright. Wanna call me Cody?"

He grinned at her some more, wiggling his eyebrows. She giggled, very unlike a dark queen, and nodded. "Okay, Cody. What would you like to do?"

"How about we hit an arcade? I'd love to show you something from my technogeek life."

"What kind of foolish activities can one get from there?"

(At an arcade.)

Mandy watched two young ladies bouncing on the Dance Dance Revolution machine. She knew their names (Anita and Lindsay) because they had been part of her escort for her date with Cody. She also knew why Cody had no protest to them playing the game first.

A small crowd had started to form to watch the well-endowed girls play a game that involved them jumping up, down, and around, but Mandy had threatened them all away. Now it was just her, Izzy, and Cody watching.

The cultist leader of the known world was starting to get hypnotized by this. "I'm straight, I really am," she muttered to Cody, "but I cannot look... away... look at them boing!"

"Hmmph, you're not straight with me," Izzy grumbled.

"You were mostly there because I hated men for a long time due to my unpleasant years in public school," Mandy snapped. She lowered her tone, and added, "Though you were always... good."

"Aw, thanks! And so are you, but now you have your own boy-toy and boyfriend, Cody!"


Cody chuckled at her hollering, then wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "Nope, just one," he said to her.

She blushed cherry red, and let out a giggle that mistresses of really bad things do not let out. "I'm gonna lose my reputation," she replied.

"Send all the girls off, and I'll teach you how to play DDR!"

"N-no, I'll look like a damned fool," Mandy stammered. "Plus... it's more fun to watch."

"Aw yeah, it usually is," Cody replied, pointing at the two girls. "But I think they need a break, and you wouldn't want to objectify your own servants."

"No, I like them. Rather have someone else to objectify," she replied, shrugging. With a whistle, she called out, "Hey! Anita! Lindsay! Stop bouncing around and go find boyfriends!"

Lindsay stopped first, giggling happily and running off. Anita looked at her queen and replied, as her feet continued to stomp, "Can't I finish this song? I'm doing so well-"


"Alright, alright," Anita griped, throwing her hands up. "Honestly, it's almost a sin, leaving a good game in the middle like that."

"Go find someone to date, I want my servants happy and something to complain about at the same time," Mandy instructed. "Izzy, you too."

"Yay," Izzy cheered, and she ran off. Out of the corner of his eye, Cody saw her pouncing on Ezekiel from behind, coiling herself around her boyfriend as the prairie boy tried to maintain balance.

Because of this, he missed Anita slightly checking him out before she walked off. Lindsay was already chatting with Harold, who had been at the virtual shooting range but was far more interested in talking to her (and impressing her with his awesome sniper skills). Anita took one more glance at Cody before finding Tyler sitting alone, and started chatting him up.

Mandy was now in Cody's mercy as he instructed her on DDR. She was starting to get the hang of it when she noticed a small crowd was forming behind them. This irked her.

"THE MISTRESS THAT CONTROLS OLD GOD CTHULHU IS NOT SOMETHING TO STARE AT LIKE SOME CHEAP FAN SERVICE," she roared at the boys. "If you want boobs, go log on the internet!"

After the crowd scurried off, Cody laughed and gave her a hug. She looked up at him and asked, "What is so funny?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just find it incredible that I'm dating you."

"I'm not the dating type, I'm the ruler of the known world-"

She stopped when Cody leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She felt herself swoon, and wrap her arms around him. The technogeek's boyish frame was easy to hold, and soon his arms were firmly around him. Neither noticed the absolute failing score they got for that DDR round.

When their lips parted at last, Mandy took a couple deep breaths. "No one ever willingly kissed me," she admitted. "Well... except Izzy. You really like me that much?"

"Of course I do," Cody said as he stroked her hair. "You're fierce, cute, creative, and intelligent. I could go on, mostly because I love that beautiful blush on your cheeks."

"The mistress of cultism and ruler over puny humans does not blush," she whispered feebly. She hugged him back completely, squeezing him as emotions overtook her normal sense of being. "I... I think this is the happiest day of my life. Better than when I took over the world."

"Well, you took over my heart, Mandy," Cody said, grinning at her again. "That may not sound like much, but it is to me."

"And me," she replied, grinning back at him now. "You know, I see us having a lot of fun together. You play video games?"

"Are you a beautiful and powerful woman?"

Mandy laughed, pumping her fists. "Score! I want a man who can fight me well in my games! And I want someone to watch thriller movies with!"

"Can do!"

"And maybe Izzy will want a threesome with us."

"I'd love to, but I think she has other plans from now on."

Cody pointed over at Izzy, who was making out passionately with Ezekiel at the arcade drum set game. He had been playing it, but now she was seated in his lap, both coiled around each other.

Mandy rolled her eyes. "I told her to find a boyfriend, not a soul mate. And at this rate, none of the arcade games in the arcade are being played."

Cody smiled at her, then kissed her forehead. "Well, we should play another dance game then, shall we?"

"You just want to see my boobs jiggle."

"Yes," Cody said, "and I want to see a woman who can best me at one of my favorite games!"

"You're on, my mortal boyfriend!"

(Maclean Stadium)

Mandy was blushing bright red throughout most of the movie, and could feel so many eyes looking at her. She studied the floor, trying not to notice.

"Well, aren't you sly," Anita said to Cody, grinning at him. "Seducing the mistress of darkness and crafty intentions."

Eva snorted, glaring at Anita then smirking at Cody. "Well, you're successful in an alternate universe, that's for sure."

Cody chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "The Code-Miester is powerful in all worlds, I like to think," he joked, smiling at both the girls.

"Well, one thing I thought was funny," Zachary said with a not-so-friendly grin, "was how Mandy was just as much not-straight there as she was here."

Izzy swatted him in the back of the head, then hit Valerie, who was laughing too. "Izzy does not tolerate you making fun of her friend," she shouted at them. "Even if she looked damn hot with her... with her!"


"And looks cute with Cody," Izzy added, nudging her friend as she giggled. Mandy blushed cherry red and glanced at the technogeek.

Alfred grinned. "Well, that surely was interesting. Next!"

End of Story 2.




Too much? Too little? Your reactions will generate more! Of course, there will be less yuri in the future in the straight couple stories, but since it's a joke with Mandy in TDBG, I decided to joke about it more here.

Next Up - I wish I knew where to go next, so you won't know either.