Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars: The Clone Wars or any characters, places, things, or ideas therein. Those belong to George Lucas, Lucasfilm, Ltd., and Cartoon Network. I am writing this fic for entertainment purposes only, not monetary gain of any kind.
Summary: How could he possibly expect to save the world when he couldn't even save the one person who was the world -- his world? Obi-Wan/Satine 2x13 spoilers AU
Warnings: Violence, character death
Spoilers: Duchess of Mandalore and Voyage of Temptation
Dedication: Toeveryone who read/reviewed/favorited my other SW:TCW fic, Intensity. I appreciate you all so much for being so kind to me during my time in this new fandom. Thank you all!
Author's Note: I'm not entirely sure where this idea came from, but it wouldn't be denied. I had to write it. It's a little dark, especially toward the end, but I really hope you all like it. Thank you so much for reading! ~fyd
She had trusted him.
She had trusted him with everything: her world, her life, the future.
She had trusted him, and he had failed her most spectacularly.
Merrik had betrayed her -- betrayed them all. When he'd taken Satine for a hostage and revealed his plans to blow up the Coronet, Obi-Wan had lost sight of all his priorities. He had wanted to be reckless, but he couldn't, not with Satine's life on the line. The rest of the people on the ship were important -- but, as wrong as he knew it was, hers was most important to him.
He had watched helplessly as Satine crumpled silently to the ground, a crimson stain forming on her formerly pristine senatorial robes. He had felt the rage for the first time in his life -- the siren call of the Dark Side, begging him to become as cold-blooded a murderer as Merrik, as Sidious, as Dooku. His fingers gripped his lightsaber tighter, flexing as he swung his weapon around, ready to take the lowest scum in the universe's head from his shoulders in one smooth, effortless, revengeful movement.
Unexpectedly, a bright blue blade sprouted from Merrik's chest as a black-gloved hand snatched the remote detonator out of the traitorous senator's now lax fingers. Obi-Wan paused, watching as the murderer sprawled on the ground, eyes still open, vicious smile still on his lips.
Anakin Skywalker's eyes, filled with regret and sorrow, met Obi-Wan's squarely. For a long moment the two stared at each other, at a stalemate, one with his lightsaber shut down, the other with his activated for a deathly swing he would never perform. Then the padawan turned silently and left his master alone, going with the clone troopers to undo the damage Merrik had done to the ship.
The most important damage, however, could not be undone.
Obi-Wan finally deactivated his weapon, returning it to its place at his belt. Then he stumbled two steps forward and fell to his knees next to Satine, who was staring at him out of clouded blue-grey eyes. "Obi," she whispered. Her blood-stained fingers were pressing against the wound in her stomach, but it was not enough. There was nothing that would be.
He wanted to apologize. He wanted to grovel for her forgiveness, to beg her to ease his guilt, his sorrow. To allow her to wash away the rage he felt deep in his chest with the soothing balm of her ever-present peacefulness. But all he could do was whisper a choked, "Satine…"
Her eyes briefly drifted away, down her body, before returning to his face. "I cannot feel my legs," she whispered.
The full impact of those words struck him only a moment later. The shot Merrik had taken at her had gone through her back and out her stomach, severing her spinal cord along the way. It was a cruel hope to think that perhaps the loss of feeling in her legs meant that she could not feel the pain in the rest of her body.
For a moment Obi-Wan's hands hovered over hers, afraid to press against her wound lest he increase her pain. At her fleeting smile, he did so, her hands feeling oddly cold compared to the warmth that was surging out of her at an alarming rate. His voice had disappeared, he couldn't say anything. At that point, he would have even told a lie if it had meant he could somehow reassure her.
Why had he waited until it was too late?
Satine's upper hand moved so she could hook one of her fingers over his. "Obi," she whispered again. The wheeze in her breathing, in her voice, tore at his heart like broken glass. "I love you. I always have."
Why had they both waited until it was too late?
Those words were like the key to the lock that had kept his voice imprisoned. "I-I love you, too, Satine," he replied. The words were honey sweet but at the same time so bitter on his lips. Pleasure and pain wrapped up in the pretty package that were three little forbidden words.
The tug of the Dark Side pulled at his gut again as he tread further down that forbidden road. "I'll leave the Jedi Order. I'll never pick up another weapon again as long as I live, I promise. Just please don't leave me…" Love is weakness. Weakness is a path to the Dark Side.
His mind chose to register at that moment that one of Satine's motionless legs was pressed against his knee -- or perhaps that was the other way around, since he had been the one who had moved to be next to her.
Satine's smile was ghostly, a mere mockery of its usual witty brilliance. "We could never change for each other, Obi," she said sadly. "Not even at the end."
"This is not the end," he growled furiously from between his teeth.
Her lashes were fluttering in an unsteady rhythm now, each blink growing more and more sluggish. Each time, it took longer for her to open her eyes again. "I am so sorry, Obi," she whispered again, her voice a simple thread of sound now. "But you must save the Republic -- the world."
His hands tightened of their own accord against Satine's, and she choked a gasp in pain. He murmured wordless sounds of hushing and apology, immediately easing his grip. "But I don't know how," he said when he was able to find words again.
"By being yourself," Satine replied simply. "Always remember to be yourself."
He felt her stomach rise with one last shallow breath. Her blue-grey -- now far more grey than blue -- eyes slid closed, and on her last breath she whispered, "Love, Obi."
The shuddering fury began deep in his core, threatening to vibrate him apart outside as he shattered silently inside. The black, writhing monster inside him that was the Dark Side screamed in equal parts triumph and grief, consuming him in an unquenchable blaze.
How could he possibly expect to save the world when he couldn't even save the one person who was the world -- his world?
I did not originally mean for the fic to turn out this way, but it grew a mind of its own while I wrote it. I tried to leave it open at the end, so you as the reader could decide if he fell to the Dark Side, or only almost did so. Thank you for checking out this story, and I really hope you enjoyed it!