I LOVE YOU STAN MARSH
Upon arriving back from the digital world Wendy immediately deleted her Facebook page. Of course she knew her headaches weren't over just yet because she was scolded by her boyfriend within five minutes of her return.
"Wendy we need to have a serious talk about friendship and what happened to us because we got obsessed with Facebook."
Wendy gave Stan a look like she wanted to run away but Stan told her "don't you dare run away because you're not getting out of this."
Kyle exclaimed "Goddamn right you're not!"
Wendy sits on her bed and gives both boys her full attention.
Stan starts with the big lecture.
"Wendy when I told you that woman with a 92 at the end of her name was a friend of my grandmother's why didn't you believe me? Am I a joke to you?"
Kyle jumps in and says "Facebook was taken to extremes. The internet is great for making friends but don't turn your back on your friends whom you live with in the town you're growing in. Stan has forgotten about his Grandma's friend and he just happened to remember the 92 in her name because that's her real age. Wendy we went way out of bounds with Facebook."
"Literally" Stan added.
Tears started to come down from Wendy's eyes.
Stan said "don't you start crying yet because this lecture isn't over."
Wendy nods and says "I understand I've been horrible lately and you both have every right to be mad."
Kyle responded "Goddamn right we're mad."
Wendy sniffled and tried hard to breathe but the lump in her throat was killing her.
Stan wanted to bust her face so bad but he couldn't.
"Wendy I hope you've learned that a fad like Facebook should not be taken too far."
Stan was now breathing hard and Wendy could see the pulse in his throat and forehead.
Kyle got her attention by saying "did you ever stop and think that friendship quantities should be about true friendship and not a popularity contest?"
Wendy shoots back "well Kyle you were into getting a ton of people on your buddy list."
Kyle steps back and says "well yes and then I realized it wasn't worth it because all the kids in South Park ended up being on my list with the exception of some kid named Kip and in the end well the South Park kids on my list I already knew and I hurt Kip and Stan really bad. In the end I had one friend on Facebook named Kip and Stan you had a ton and neither of us were happy with Facebook."
Wendy was taken back by Kyle's response.
Stan puts his arm around Kyle and says "yeah I got pretty pissed off at you but luckily everything worked out."
Wendy then asks "well I hope we can work things out between us Stan. I know over the past month I've treated you like shit and I realize now just how horrible that was for me to do."
Tears begin to fall from Wendy's face on to a pillow.
Stan responds "well look Wendy you're stressed out and when you get stressed out you lose sight of things that are important to you. Look I know life delivers hard blows. I know it hurt you when you had to give up that pit bull and I know Cartman pisses you off."
Kyle states "Cartman pisses off everybody."
Stan and Wendy agree 100 percent.
Kyle goes on to say "but if you're in pain don't take it out on your friends."
Wendy says "oh you guys are great."
Wendy hugs Kyle and then she hugs Stan.
Stan states in a firm voice "I hope you've learned a big lesson from this."
Wendy states "I have Stan."
Wendy and Stan kiss for a full minute.
Kyle tells them "Goddamn you all make a sweet couple."
Wendy stops to ask Kyle a dreaded question.
"You know Kyle you and Stan happen to be very close. Have the two of you ever experimented?"
Kyle asks "what?"
Stan says "you've got to be kidding!"
Wendy says "look you guys went through a war together when Kyle's mom declared war on Canada. You guys have been through life threatening situations and I know you two have been best friends for many years. I want to know have the two of tried giving each other dick?"
Stan answers "no Wendy but you or anyone else can have a fantasy about me sticking my dick up Kyle's ass."
Kyle yells "COME ON NOW!"
Wendy says "well Kyle you are pretty submissive."
Kyle shoots back "I'm not fucking submissive."
Stan and Wendy both laugh.
Kyle says "fuck both of you I'm going home."
Stan leaves Wendy's house and catches up with Kyle.
"Hey Kyle you do take things a bit too personally sometimes."
Kyle replies "I guess you're right."
Stan giggles but then Kyle asks "how's Wendy doing?"
Stan answers "she's doing alright and I think she's learned a lesson from all this. Facebook is evil."
Kyle says "good."
Kyle asks Stan if he wants to come over and play video games and Stan agrees.
"Oh Kyle" Stan says.
"What's that Stan?" replied Kyle.
"I know we won't do any fucking experimenting" Stan said.
"Hell No!" replied Kyle
The two boys run on the sidewalk and soon enjoy the hottest new video games.