I was just about to write some more of Without Esme when I thought of this reflection.

Edward's reflection of the time just before he saw Bella;

The boredom I could not cope with.

Everyone else has someone else to cherish, to love.

I tried, briefly, to find someone but I never found THE one.

I've been alive since 1901.

I have a family.

A considerate family.

But one that does not understand.

I wish it was Carlisle with the mind reading.

Anyone else with the mind reading.

But then I did not want to burden anyone.

It was bad enough that I could go nowhere near Jasper.

And as Jasper was almost always with Alice I saw little of her too.

I couldn't stand their pity as they, and only they, knew what I was going through.

Yet they were my family I could not avoid them for long.

So I enrolled in the local high school with them to make an effort.

Not to be the 7th Wheel.

But to help anyone who needs it.

But I couldn't hide it for much longer and I knew I needed to leave.

Not permantly that would break Esme's heart.

But long enough that I let them have their alone time.

I gave myself a month.

To satisfy my need of my family.

Then I would go for how long I do not know.

But so I could use my gifts so I could help the humans.

This time it would be nothing like the last time I went before Rose.

This time no blood would be shed innocent or not.

That was the plan.

Until Bella joined Forks High.

And then I knew I had reason to stay.

Even if it did mean a temporary leave.

I would never be alone again.

Until she died.

And when that happened I would die to.

Because I had finally found something in the boredom,

A reason to stay,


Please review. Or at least let me know if you thought it was a hit or miss. If this is a success I could do more drabbles like this and expand it.