AN: I'm glad some people thought my last humour story was funny. I was sitting around today, having trouble finishing some end of semester projects as well as trouble getting my next chapter of my other story written when this idea popped into my head. Oh, and I just took a stab at what I always thought Cal's age was, if anyone actually has some knowledge about it feel free to share.
Smooth Announcer Voice: Meet the plaintiffs—20 year old Jack Dawson who claims the defendant threatened his life on several occasions and is suing for emotional trauma.
Meet the defendant—30 year old Caledon Hockley who claims he doesn't know what the defendant is talking about and who is countersuing for theft.
"All rise for the honorable Judge Judith Sheindlin," called the bailiff as a woman took her seat in the judge's box.
"You may sit down," she said, opening a file. "Alright, Mr. Dawson, it says here you are suing the defendant for emotional trauma, is that correct?"
"What kind of trauma?"
"Well, he threatened my life—"
"I do not know what he is talking about!" Cal interrupted.
Judge Judy shot Cal a highly chastising look. "You will get your chance to talk, Mr. Hockley. Do not interrupt," she said sharply.
"Mr. Dawson, please continue," she said, gesturing toward Jack.
"Um, well, basically what happened was I became involved with his girlfriend—"
"Fiancée!" Cal yelled.
"Mr. Hockley!" Judge Judy exclaimed angrily. "Do not speak out of turn again!"
Cal crossed his arms over his chest and tightened his jaw. He alternated between silently glaring at Judge Judy and silently glaring at Jack.
"As I was saying," Jack continued. "I became involved with his fiancée—"
"Why did you do that?" Judge Judy questioned.
"It wasn't planned. It just kind of happened." Jack was uncomfortable under the scrutiny.
"Sure it did," Cal muttered sarcastically. Judge Judy shot him a look. He looked at his feet and was quiet.
"Look, we met, we liked each other, we spent time together and we liked each other a little more. We spent more time together and we liked each other even more—can you see where I'm going?" Jack asked.
Judge Judy nodded. "I understand. Continue."
"So basically when he found out he overreacted, and he made it look like I robbed him. Then he goes on this rampage, shooting at us—"
"Me and his ex."
"Is she here?" Judge Judy asked.
"Yes, she is, actually," Jack answered.
"'Bring her out here then."
Rose walked in through a door in the back of the courtroom. She joined Jack at the plaintiff's podium.
"State your name please," Judge Judy commanded.
"My name is Rose Dawson."
"So are you married to this man?"
"I am, yes."
"And you were previously involved with this man?" Judge Judy pointed at Cal.
"Well, you could say that," Rose said hesitantly.
"Yes or no, Mrs. Dawson."
"Yes." Rose sighed.
"Alright. Now, your husband says the defendant threatened and attacked the two of you, is that true?"
"Yes, it is."
Cal let out a rage-filled shriek.
"I will have you arrested for causing a disturbance if you make one more sound before I give you permission, do you understand?" Judge Judy yelled.
"Mrs. Dawson, tell me more about these attacks."
"He shot at us and chased us into a sinking ship, for one thing."
"I've heard enough. Mr. Hockley, can you answer these accusations?"
"I don't know what either of them is talking about."
"Are you telling me both of them are lying?"
"That is exactly what I am telling you. Neither of them are quality people, and I wouldn't be surprised by anything he does."
"Why is that?"
"He attacked my fiancée and somehow convinced her to lie for him. Then he seduced her—and he stole from me!"
"How long did all of this take?" Judge Judy was slightly confused.
"Um…about 3 days, I guess," Cal said.
"So all of this happened over a 3 day period, is that what I am to understand?"
"So, he met your fiancée, allegedly attacked her—and brainwashed her—and then at some point seduced her—and he robbed you?"
"Exactly!" Cal felt vindicated.
"What did he steal?"
"So you're suing him because you're fiancee left you for him?"
"He stole her!"
"Did he happen to take anything else?"
"That's a no," Judge Judy said impatiently. She turned to Jack and Rose. "And according to the two of you, you met, got together, he was set up, and then this man over here attempted to kill the both of you. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Jack and Rose said in unison.
Judge Judy stared at all three of them. "There is just no way that much could have happened in such a short time. However, I have strong feeling that you—" she pointed at Jack, "are the one most likely to be telling the truth. Therefore, I am granting your suit in the amount of $5,000. Judgment for the plaintiff."
Jack and Rose hugged excitedly.
Cal lunged at them but was tackled by the bailiff.
In the hallway outside the courtroom a blonde woman stopped them. "How do you feel about the judgment?" she asked.
"Pretty excited about it," Jack said.
"She made the right decision," Rose added.
"What are you going to do with all of that money?"
Jack and Rose looked at each other and shrugged. "Probably not that much," Jack said, just as the bailiff led a handcuffed Cal out of the courtroom.
"And how do you feel about the judgment?" the blonde woman asked.
Cal stared at her. "What?"
"The judgment. Do you think it was fair?"
As he was about to answer he noticed Jack and Rose. His face twisted into a grimace. "I will kill you!" he yelled. "I will you and I will do something to her—I don't know what yet, but--Owwwwww" His rant suddenly morphed into cries of pain. The bailiff was tasering him.
"Looks like this was quite an eventful case," the blonde woman said into the camera.