The Story of Super Mario Brothers (taken from the NES manual)

Once upon a time, the peaceful Mushroom Kingdom was invaded by the Koopa, a tribe of turtles infamous for their dark magic. These terrible terrapins transformed the peace-loving Mushroom People into stones, bricks, and ironically, mushrooms, then set their own evil king on the throne. In the wake of the ghastly coup d'etat, the beautiful Mushroom Kingdom fell into ruin and disrepair.

It is said that only the daughter of the Mushroom King, Princess Toadstool, can break the evil spell and return the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom to their normal selves. But the King of the Koopas, knowing of this prophecy, kidnapped the lovely Princess and hid her away in one of his castles.

Word of the terrible plight of the Mushroom People quickly spread throughout the land, eventually reaching the ears of a humble plumber. The simple, yet valiant Mario vowed to rescue the Princess and free her subjects from King Koopa's tyrannous reign. But can Mario really overcome the many obstacles facing him and become a true hero?

Hmmm…

Has anybody ever seen Peach do any magic whatsoever?

And wait, does that mean Mario is eating the decapitated heads of Mushroom People when he takes the powerups? And if the blocks are really Mushroom people. Does that mean Mario murdered them when he smashed them? I wonder what happened at the end of Super Mario Brothers?

Mario and Peach stood outside Bowser's castle, Peach gave Mario another kiss on the cheek.

"I can't thank you enough" Peach smiled at Mario.

"Awww…..it was nothing." Mario smiled back.

"Well I better turn everybody back to normal." Peach took out a magic scepter.

"Turn everybody back to normal? What do you mean?" Mario asked puzzled.

"Oh didn't you hear? Bowser turned the people of the mushroom kingdom into blocks and mushrooms. I have the magic to turn them, back."

Mario then gulped and realized what he had done.

"Er….Peach. I gotta go. I just realized I have to fix someone's sink."

Mario then ran off, cursing that he had just blown his chance to get laid.

Peach left on her own, chanted some magic words, and everybody turned back to normal.

But it wasn't a pretty sight. Peach walked around the mushroom kingdom, noticing that the blocks that Mario had smashed had turned into dead bodies of mushroom people. Blood was everywhere like if most of the mushroom kingdom had just gone through a horrible war. Most of the population of the mushroom kingdom was now dead. And the survivors mourned at everybody Mario had murdered

Peach was horribly shocked. "Oh Mario…….how could you!" she shouted to nobody in particular.

Meanwhile Mario was at the bar.

"Another beer!" Mario shouted at the bartender. "I have to get the taste of horrible dead mushroom people out of my mouth!"

THE END.